1And Israel took his journey with all that he had, and came to Beersheba, and offered sacrifices unto the God of his father Isaac.
Children ? or just an oiled erection.
2And God spake unto Israel in the visions of the night, and said, Jacob, Jacob. And he said, Here am I.
3And he said, I am God, the God of thy father: fear not to go down into Egypt; for I will there make of thee a great nation:
4I will go down with thee into Egypt; and I will also surely bring thee up again: and Joseph shall put his hand upon thine eyes.
Dreams by any other name, or perhaps ergot was growing on the grain/bread
5And Jacob rose up from Beersheba: and the sons of Israel carried Jacob their father, and their little ones, and their wives, in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent to carry him.
6And they took their cattle, and their goods, which they had gotten in the land of Canaan, and came into Egypt, Jacob, and all his seed with him:
7His sons, and his sons' sons with him, his daughters, and his sons' daughters, and all his seed brought he with him into Egypt.
8And these are the names of the children of Israel, which came into Egypt, Jacob and his sons: Reuben, Jacob's firstborn.
Fuck here we go again. Yet another fucking list of mostly irrelevant names just to bore the tits off you.
9And the sons of Reuben; Hanoch, and Phallu, and Hezron, and Carmi.
10And the sons of Simeon; Jemuel, and Jamin, and Ohad, and Jachin, and Zohar, and Shaul the son of a Canaanitish woman.
I,m surprised she and her son got a mention you can't call them family.
11And the sons of Levi; Gershon, Kohath, and Merari.
12And the sons of Judah; Er, and Onan, and Shelah, and Pharez, and Zarah: but Er and Onan died in the land of Canaan. And the sons of Pharez were Hezron and Hamul.
13And the sons of Issachar; Tola, and Phuvah, and Job, and Shimron.
14And the sons of Zebulun; Sered, and Elon, and Jahleel.
15These be the sons of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob in Padanaram, with his daughter Dinah: all the souls of his sons and his daughters were thirty and three.
16And the sons of Gad; Ziphion, and Haggi, Shuni, and Ezbon, Eri, and Arodi, and Areli.
17And the sons of Asher; Jimnah, and Ishuah, and Isui, and Beriah, and Serah their sister: and the sons of Beriah; Heber, and Malchiel.
18These are the sons of Zilpah, whom Laban gave to Leah his daughter, and these she bare unto Jacob, even sixteen souls.
19The sons of Rachel Jacob's wife; Joseph, and Benjamin.
20And unto Joseph in the land of Egypt were born Manasseh and Ephraim, which Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On bare unto him.
21And the sons of Benjamin were Belah, and Becher, and Ashbel, Gera, and Naaman, Ehi, and Rosh, Muppim, and Huppim, and Ard.
22These are the sons of Rachel, which were born to Jacob: all the souls were fourteen.
23And the sons of Dan; Hushim.
24And the sons of Naphtali; Jahzeel, and Guni, and Jezer, and Shillem.
25These are the sons of Bilhah, which Laban gave unto Rachel his daughter, and she bare these unto Jacob: all the souls were seven.
26All the souls that came with Jacob into Egypt, which came out of his loins, besides Jacob's sons' wives, all the souls were threescore and six;
Sixty six Hasn't got 600 servants with them too by any chance.
27And the sons of Joseph, which were born him in Egypt, were two souls: all the souls of the house of Jacob, which came into Egypt, were threescore and ten.
So Jacob had TWELVE sons and the total of the whole herd was SEVEN...TY
28And he sent Judah before him unto Joseph, to direct his face unto Goshen; and they came into the land of Goshen.
29And Joseph made ready his chariot, and went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and presented himself unto him; and he fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while.
Something to me just isn't right about father and son necking.
30And Israel said unto Joseph, Now let me die, since I have seen thy face, because thou art yet alive.
31And Joseph said unto his brethren, and unto his father's house, I will go up, and shew Pharaoh, and say unto him, My brethren, and my father's house, which were in the land of Canaan, are come unto me;
32And the men are shepherds, for their trade hath been to feed cattle; and they have brought their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have.
33And it shall come to pass, when Pharaoh shall call you, and shall say, What is your occupation?
If they were honest they would answer....
...con artists, thieves, liars and parasites.