Joshua 21

¹Then came near the heads of the fathers of the Levites unto Eleazar the priest, and unto Joshua the son of Nun, and unto the heads of the fathers of the tribes of the children of Israel;

So thats a lot of head.... things must be looking up!!!

²And they spake unto them at Shiloh in the land of Canaan, saying, The LORD commanded by the hand of Moses to give us cities to dwell in, with the suburbs thereof for our cattle.

³And the children of Israel gave unto the Levites out of their inheritance, at the commandment of the LORD, these cities and their suburbs.

I must admit I am still struggling with the fact that they only have these cities to give because the broke at least three of the ten commandments.

And here we go again with the inevitable accountants list.

⁴And the lot came out for the families of the Kohathites: and the children of Aaron the priest, which were of the Levites, had by lot out of the tribe of Judah, and out of the tribe of Simeon, and out of the tribe of Benjamin, thirteen cities.

⁵And the rest of the children of Kohath had by lot out of the families of the tribe of Ephraim, and out of the tribe of Dan, and out of the half tribe of Manasseh, ten cities.

There's that stupid number again.."half a tribe"...surely thats like saying half infinity ?

⁶And the children of Gershon had by lot out of the families of the tribe of Issachar, and out of the tribe of Asher, and out of the tribe of Naphtali, and out of the half tribe of Manasseh in Bashan, thirteen cities.

⁷The children of Merari by their families had out of the tribe of Reuben, and out of the tribe of Gad, and out of the tribe of Zebulun, twelve cities.

⁸And the children of Israel gave by lot unto the Levites these cities with their suburbs, as the LORD commanded by the hand of Moses.

⁹And they gave out of the tribe of the children of Judah, and out of the tribe of the children of Simeon, these cities which are here mentioned by name.

¹⁰Which the children of Aaron, being of the families of the Kohathites, who were of the children of Levi, had: for theirs was the first lot.

¹¹And they gave them the city of Arba the father of Anak, which city is Hebron, in the hill country of Judah, with the suburbs thereof round about it.

¹²But the fields of the city, and the villages thereof, gave they to Caleb the son of Jephunneh for his possession.

¹³Thus they gave to the children of Aaron the priest Hebron with her suburbs, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Libnah with her suburbs,

¹⁴And Jattir with her suburbs, and Eshtemoa with her suburbs,

¹⁵And Holon with her suburbs, and Debir with her suburbs,

¹⁶And Ain with her suburbs, and Juttah with her suburbs, and Bethshemesh with her suburbs; nine cities out of those two tribes.

¹⁷And out of the tribe of Benjamin, Gibeon with her suburbs, Geba with her suburbs,

¹⁸Anathoth with her suburbs, and Almon with her suburbs; four cities.

¹⁹All the cities of the children of Aaron, the priests, were thirteen cities with their suburbs.

²⁰And the families of the children of Kohath, the Levites which remained of the children of Kohath, even they had the cities of their lot out of the tribe of Ephraim.

²¹For they gave them Shechem with her suburbs in mount Ephraim, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Gezer with her suburbs,

²²And Kibzaim with her suburbs, and Bethhoron with her suburbs; four cities.

²³And out of the tribe of Dan, Eltekeh with her suburbs, Gibbethon with her suburbs,

²⁴Aijalon with her suburbs, Gathrimmon with her suburbs; four cities.

²⁵And out of the half tribe of Manasseh, Tanach with her suburbs, and Gathrimmon with her suburbs; two cities.

²⁶All the cities were ten with their suburbs for the families of the children of Kohath that remained.

²⁷And unto the children of Gershon, of the families of the Levites, out of the other half tribe of Manasseh they gave Golan in Bashan with her suburbs, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Beeshterah with her suburbs; two cities.

²⁸And out of the tribe of Issachar, Kishon with her suburbs, Dabareh with her suburbs,

²⁹Jarmuth with her suburbs, Engannim with her suburbs; four cities.

³⁰And out of the tribe of Asher, Mishal with her suburbs, Abdon with her suburbs,

³¹Helkath with her suburbs, and Rehob with her suburbs; four cities.

³²And out of the tribe of Naphtali, Kedesh in Galilee with her suburbs, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Hammothdor with her suburbs, and Kartan with her suburbs; three cities.

³³All the cities of the Gershonites according to their families were thirteen cities with their suburbs.

³⁴And unto the families of the children of Merari, the rest of the Levites, out of the tribe of Zebulun, Jokneam with her suburbs, and Kartah with her suburbs,

³⁵Dimnah with her suburbs, Nahalal with her suburbs; four cities.

³⁶And out of the tribe of Reuben, Bezer with her suburbs, and Jahazah with her suburbs,

³⁷Kedemoth with her suburbs, and Mephaath with her suburbs; four cities.

³⁸And out of the tribe of Gad, Ramoth in Gilead with her suburbs, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Mahanaim with her suburbs,

³⁹Heshbon with her suburbs, Jazer with her suburbs; four cities in all.

⁴⁰So all the cities for the children of Merari by their families, which were remaining of the families of the Levites, were by their lot twelve cities.

⁴¹All the cities of the Levites within the possession of the children of Israel were forty and eight cities with their suburbs.

⁴²These cities were every one with their suburbs round about them: thus were all these cities.

⁴³And the LORD gave unto Israel all the land which he sware to give unto their fathers; and they possessed it, and dwelt therein.

⁴⁴And the LORD gave them rest round about, according to all that he sware unto their fathers: and there stood not a man of all their enemies before them; the LORD delivered all their enemies into their hand.

⁴⁵There failed not ought of any good thing which the LORD had spoken unto the house of Israel; all came to pass.

Does anybody know where this great division of the land is recorded outside the oral tradition of the Jews ?
Call me suspicious or even cynical, but this is a major event in world history. Happening mid point between two highly literate civilizations, and yet nobody seems to have mentioned,even slightly in passing. That a bunch of dirty nomads have suddenly, almost overnight become a dominant power, encompassing a large empire.

Joshua 19

¹And the second lot came forth to Simeon, even for the tribe of the children of Simeon according to their families: and their inheritance was within the inheritance of the children of Judah.

Is this another guy with a salty wife or is it gay sex rearing its ugly beautiful head again

²And they had in their inheritance Beersheba, and Sheba, and Moladah,

Not another fucking list

³And Hazarshual, and Balah, and Azem,

⁴And Eltolad, and Bethul, and Hormah,

⁵And Ziklag, and Bethmarcaboth, and Hazarsusah,

⁶And Bethlebaoth, and Sharuhen; thirteen cities and their villages:

⁷Ain, Remmon, and Ether, and Ashan; four cities and their villages:

⁸And all the villages that were round about these cities to Baalathbeer, Ramath of the south. This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Simeon according to their families.

⁹Out of the portion of the children of Judah was the inheritance of the children of Simeon: for the part of the children of Judah was too much for them: therefore the children of Simeon had their inheritance within the inheritance of them.

If the shit was portioned equally, how could Judah's kids shit be too much shit,that some of their shit had to become Simeons kids shit ?

¹⁰And the third lot came up for the children of Zebulun according to their families: and the border of their inheritance was unto Sarid:

Yet another man with a salty wife.....perhaps they should try washing a bit more carefully, although it must be difficult if they don't take their clothes off. Using water instead of sand is usually a bonus too.

¹¹And their border went up toward the sea, and Maralah, and reached to Dabbasheth, and reached to the river that is before Jokneam;

¹²And turned from Sarid eastward toward the sunrising unto the border of Chislothtabor, and then goeth out to Daberath, and goeth up to Japhia,

¹³And from thence passeth on along on the east to Gittahhepher, to Ittahkazin, and goeth out to Remmonmethoar to Neah;

¹⁴And the border compasseth it on the north side to Hannathon: and the outgoings thereof are in the valley of Jiphthahel:

¹⁵And Kattath, and Nahallal, and Shimron, and Idalah, and Bethlehem: twelve cities with their villages.

¹⁶This is the inheritance of the children of Zebulun according to their families, these cities with their villages.

¹⁷And the fourth lot came out to Issachar, for the children of Issachar according to their families.

¹⁸And their border was toward Jezreel, and Chesulloth, and Shunem,

¹⁹And Haphraim, and Shihon, and Anaharath,

²⁰And Rabbith, and Kishion, and Abez,

²¹And Remeth, and Engannim, and Enhaddah, and Bethpazzez;

²²And the coast reacheth to Tabor, and Shahazimah, and Bethshemesh; and the outgoings of their border were at Jordan: sixteen cities with their villages.

²³This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Issachar according to their families, the cities and their villages.

²⁴And the fifth lot came out for the tribe of the children of Asher according to their families.

²⁵And their border was Helkath, and Hali, and Beten, and Achshaph,

²⁶And Alammelech, and Amad, and Misheal; and reacheth to Carmel westward, and to Shihorlibnath;

²⁷And turneth toward the sunrising to Bethdagon, and reacheth to Zebulun, and to the valley of Jiphthahel toward the north side of Bethemek, and Neiel, and goeth out to Cabul on the left hand,

²⁸And Hebron, and Rehob, and Hammon, and Kanah, even unto great Zidon;

²⁹And then the coast turneth to Ramah, and to the strong city Tyre; and the coast turneth to Hosah; and the outgoings thereof are at the sea from the coast to Achzib:

³⁰Ummah also, and Aphek, and Rehob: twenty and two cities with their villages.

³¹This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Asher according to their families, these cities with their villages.

³²The sixth lot came out to the children of Naphtali, even for the children of Naphtali according to their families.

³³And their coast was from Heleph, from Allon to Zaanannim, and Adami, Nekeb, and Jabneel, unto Lakum; and the outgoings thereof were at Jordan:

³⁴And then the coast turneth westward to Aznothtabor, and goeth out from thence to Hukkok, and reacheth to Zebulun on the south side, and reacheth to Asher on the west side, and to Judah upon Jordan toward the sunrising.

³⁵And the fenced cities are Ziddim, Zer, and Hammath, Rakkath, and Chinnereth,

³⁶And Adamah, and Ramah, and Hazor,

³⁷And Kedesh, and Edrei, and Enhazor,

³⁸And Iron, and Migdalel, Horem, and Bethanath, and Bethshemesh; nineteen cities with their villages.

³⁹This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Naphtali according to their families, the cities and their villages.

⁴⁰And the seventh lot came out for the tribe of the children of Dan according to their families.

⁴¹And the coast of their inheritance was Zorah, and Eshtaol, and Irshemesh,

⁴²And Shaalabbin, and Ajalon, and Jethlah,

⁴³And Elon, and Thimnathah, and Ekron,

⁴⁴And Eltekeh, and Gibbethon, and Baalath,

⁴⁵And Jehud, and Beneberak, and Gathrimmon,

⁴⁶And Mejarkon, and Rakkon, with the border before Japho.

⁴⁷And the coast of the children of Dan went out too little for them: therefore the children of Dan went up to fight against Leshem, and took it, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and possessed it, and dwelt therein, and called Leshem, Dan, after the name of Dan their father.

⁴⁸This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Dan according to their families, these cities with their villages.

⁴⁹When they had made an end of dividing the land for inheritance by their coasts, the children of Israel gave an inheritance to Joshua the son of Nun among them:

⁵⁰According to the word of the LORD they gave him the city which he asked, even Timnathserah in mount Ephraim: and he built the city, and dwelt therein.

So there we have it a few lists of a lot of lots.

⁵¹These are the inheritances, which Eleazar the priest, and Joshua the son of Nun, and the heads of the fathers of the tribes of the children of Israel, divided for an inheritance by lot in Shiloh before the LORD, at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. So they made an end of dividing the country.

Joshua 4

¹And it came to pass, when all the people were clean passed over Jordan, that the LORD spake unto Joshua, saying,

²Take you twelve men out of the people, out of every tribe a man,

³And command ye them, saying, Take you hence out of the midst of Jordan, out of the place where the priests' feet stood firm, twelve stones, and ye shall carry them over with you, and leave them in the lodging place, where ye shall lodge this night.

Also in complete contradiction to the law in Lev:26:1

Would man not make so many mistakes if de lard didn't keep changing his mind like a teenage girl in a boutique ?

⁴Then Joshua called the twelve men, whom he had prepared of the children of Israel, out of every tribe a man:

⁵And Joshua said unto them, Pass over before the ark of the LORD your God into the midst of Jordan, and take you up every man of you a stone upon his shoulder, according unto the number of the tribes of the children of Israel:

⁶That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean ye by these stones?

Twelve stones each carried there on the shoulder of one man ! Should anyone be impressed ? Not exactly megaliths are they ?

⁷Then ye shall answer them, That the waters of Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD; when it passed over Jordan, the waters of Jordan were cut off: and these stones shall be for a memorial unto the children of Israel for ever.

⁸And the children of Israel did so as Joshua commanded, and took up twelve stones out of the midst of Jordan, as the LORD spake unto Joshua, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, and carried them over with them unto the place where they lodged, and laid them down there.

⁹And Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of Jordan, in the place where the feet of the priests which bare the ark of the covenant stood: and they are there unto this day.

As "foretold" in Duet :27 .Isn't prophecy amazing when it's written down after the fact.

It seems the followers of the laws of de lard chose which laws they were going to follow.

¹⁰For the priests which bare the ark stood in the midst of Jordan, until everything was finished that the LORD commanded Joshua to speak unto the people, according to all that Moses commanded Joshua: and the people hasted and passed over.

¹¹And it came to pass, when all the people were clean passed over, that the ark of the LORD passed over, and the priests, in the presence of the people.

¹²And the children of Reuben, and the children of Gad, and half the tribe of Manasseh, passed over armed before the children of Israel, as Moses spake unto them:

¹³About forty thousand prepared for war passed over before the LORD unto battle, to the plains of Jericho.

¹⁴On that day the LORD magnified Joshua in the sight of all Israel; and they feared him, as they feared Moses, all the days of his life.

What ? They feared Moses ALL HIS LIFE I don't remember reading that. I thought he was followed because the hebrews thought he was right.

¹⁵And the LORD spake unto Joshua, saying,

¹⁶Command the priests that bear the ark of the testimony, that they come up out of Jordan.

¹⁷Joshua therefore commanded the priests, saying, Come ye up out of Jordan.

¹⁸And it came to pass, when the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD were come up out of the midst of Jordan, and the soles of the priests' feet were lifted up unto the dry land, that the waters of Jordan returned unto their place, and flowed over all his banks, as they did before.

¹⁹And the people came up out of Jordan on the tenth day of the first month, and encamped in Gilgal, in the east border of Jericho.

²⁰And those twelve stones, which they took out of Jordan, did Joshua pitch in Gilgal.

I would have expected more from the people that allegedly were the stonemasons and builders of Egypt. If this event was truly as remarkable as the description implies why did they not mark the spot with something that would really stand out, rather than twelve small boulders.

²¹And he spake unto the children of Israel, saying, When your children shall ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean these stones?

²²Then ye shall let your children know, saying, Israel came over this Jordan on dry land.

²³For the LORD your God dried up the waters of Jordan from before you, until ye were passed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red sea, which he dried up from before us, until we were gone over:

Oh dear old Josh is starting to repeat himself. Is he going the same way as Moses, did he catch syphilis from him ?

²⁴That all the people of the earth might know the hand of the LORD, that it is mighty: that ye might fear the LORD your God for ever.

Well that hasn't worked very well.It also something I continually fail to understand. Why does the supposed creator of everything need this fear ? Is it a drug to him ? Is de lard jacking up ? With all the temper tantrums and meanness He must either be a meth head or a teenage girl.

Joshua 3

¹And Joshua rose early in the morning; and they removed from Shittim, and came to Jordan, he and all the children of Israel, and lodged there before they passed over.

²And it came to pass after three days, that the officers went through the host;

We know from the previous chapter that word of the Israelites escapades has reached the inhabitants of Jericho, and I think it would be fair to assume the ruling administration would have even more knowledge. So as I asked earlier why are they not preparing for an invasion, questioning the odd stray donkey.

³And they commanded the people, saying, When ye see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests the Levites bearing it, then ye shall remove from your place, and go after it.

⁴Yet there shall be a space between you and it, about two thousand cubits by measure: come not near unto it, that ye may know the way by which ye must go: for ye have not passed this way heretofore.

Considering Noah's ark was only 300(450-500ft) cubits long that is a great distance(almost half a mile)It certainly makes me wonder.....Why ?

⁵And Joshua said unto the people, Sanctify yourselves: for to morrow the LORD will do wonders among you.

⁶And Joshua spake unto the priests, saying, Take up the ark of the covenant, and pass over before the people. And they took up the ark of the covenant, and went before the people.

⁷And the LORD said unto Joshua, This day will I begin to magnify thee in the sight of all Israel, that they may know that, as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee.

⁸And thou shalt command the priests that bear the ark of the covenant, saying, When ye are come to the brink of the water of Jordan, ye shall stand still in Jordan.

⁹And Joshua said unto the children of Israel, Come hither, and hear the words of the LORD your God.

¹⁰And Joshua said, Hereby ye shall know that the living God is among you, and that he will without fail drive out from before you the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Hivites, and the Perizzites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Jebusites.

¹¹Behold, the ark of the covenant of the LORD of all the earth passeth over before you into Jordan.

¹²Now therefore take you twelve men out of the tribes of Israel, out of every tribe a man.

¹³And it shall come to pass, as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of the LORD, the LORD of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of Jordan, that the waters of Jordan shall be cut off from the waters that come down from above; and they shall stand upon an heap.

On first reading I thought the 12 men were the priests, but are they ?

If they are not the priests, is it not conceivable that they were selected for another mission ? A mission so secret it was not recorded, perhaps not even told to any others, a mission that would just about explain why there was such a distance between what was thought to be the ark and the rest of the army.

Intrigued ?

Remember the death of Aarons sons

I said at the time it sounded like an early gunpowder or fire flash.

With me now ?

Perhaps they got the quantities wrong and had inadvertently discovered an explosive. If this was the case, would it have been that difficult to go dam the Jordan, at least temporarily.

I am not suggesting how or where they did it or whether or not there was any preparation, what I am suggesting it is more convincing than godidit, or a coincidental earthquake that amounts to the same thing.

¹⁴And it came to pass, when the people removed from their tents, to pass over Jordan, and the priests bearing the ark of the covenant before the people;

¹⁵And as they that bare the ark were come unto Jordan, and the feet of the priests that bare the ark were dipped in the brim of the water, (for Jordan overfloweth all his banks all the time of harvest,)

¹⁶That the waters which came down from above stood and rose up upon an heap very far from the city Adam, that is beside Zaretan: and those that came down toward the sea of the plain, even the salt sea, failed, and were cut off: and the people passed over right against Jericho.

I think it is highly feasible that they had seen or knew of a weak overhang or an avalanche waiting to happen at some point.

¹⁷And the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan, and all the Israelites passed over on dry ground, until all the people were passed clean over Jordan.

Numbers 29

¹And in the seventh month, on the first day of the month, ye shall have an holy convocation; ye shall do no servile work: it is a day of blowing the trumpets unto you.

No servile work....... but you will spend the day blowing trumpets.....

²And ye shall offer a burnt offering for a sweet savour unto the LORD; one young bullock, one ram, and seven lambs of the first year without blemish:

...........and offering sacrifices

³And their meat offering shall be of flour mingled with oil, three tenth deals for a bullock, and two tenth deals for a ram,

⁴And one tenth deal for one lamb, throughout the seven lambs:

⁵And one kid of the goats for a sin offering, to make an atonement for you:

⁶Beside the burnt offering of the month, and his meat offering, and the daily burnt offering, and his meat offering, and their drink offerings, according unto their manner, for a sweet savour, a sacrifice made by fire unto the LORD.

⁷And ye shall have on the tenth day of this seventh month an holy convocation; and ye shall afflict your souls: ye shall not do any work therein:

⁸But ye shall offer a burnt offering unto the LORD for a sweet savour; one young bullock, one ram, and seven lambs of the first year; they shall be unto you without blemish:

⁹And their meat offering shall be of flour mingled with oil, three tenth deals to a bullock, and two tenth deals to one ram,

¹⁰A several tenth deal for one lamb, throughout the seven lambs:

¹¹One kid of the goats for a sin offering; beside the sin offering of atonement, and the continual burnt offering, and the meat offering of it, and their drink offerings.

¹²And on the fifteenth day of the seventh month ye shall have an holy convocation; ye shall do no servile work, and ye shall keep a feast unto the LORD seven days:

¹³And ye shall offer a burnt offering, a sacrifice made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD; thirteen young bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year; they shall be without blemish:

¹⁴And their meat offering shall be of flour mingled with oil, three tenth deals unto every bullock of the thirteen bullocks, two tenth deals to each ram of the two rams,

¹⁵And a several tenth deal to each lamb of the fourteen lambs:

¹⁶And one kid of the goats for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, his meat offering, and his drink offering.

¹⁷And on the second day ye shall offer twelve young bullocks, two rams, fourteen lambs of the first year without spot:

¹⁸And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

¹⁹And one kid of the goats for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, and the meat offering thereof, and their drink offerings.

²⁰And on the third day eleven bullocks, two rams, fourteen lambs of the first year without blemish;

What ! No mention of a partridge in a pear tree ?

²¹And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

²²And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, and his meat offering, and his drink offering.

²³And on the fourth day ten bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year without blemish:

²⁴Their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

²⁵And one kid of the goats for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, his meat offering, and his drink offering.

²⁶And on the fifth day nine bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year without spot:

²⁷And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

²⁸And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, and his meat offering, and his drink offering.

²⁹And on the sixth day eight bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year without blemish:

³⁰And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

³¹And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, his meat offering, and his drink offering.

³²And on the seventh day seven bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year without blemish:

³³And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

³⁴And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, his meat offering, and his drink offering.

³⁵On the eighth day ye shall have a solemn assembly: ye shall do no servile work therein:

³⁶But ye shall offer a burnt offering, a sacrifice made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD: one bullock, one ram, seven lambs of the first year without blemish:

³⁷Their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullock, for the ram, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

³⁸And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, and his meat offering, and his drink offering.

³⁹These things ye shall do unto the LORD in your set feasts, beside your vows, and your freewill offerings, for your burnt offerings, and for your meat offerings, and for your drink offerings, and for your peace offerings.

So we are still going with the theme of the lard thy gawd and his priesthood demanding a slice of your hard earned for no reason than he and they can.

⁴⁰And Moses told the children of Israel according to all that the LORD commanded Moses.

Exodus 24

Exodus 24

¹And he said unto Moses, Come up unto the LORD, thou, and Aaron, Nadab, and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel; and worship ye afar off.

Which is to say fuck off peasants, we have some scheming to do.

²And Moses alone shall come near the LORD: but they shall not come nigh; neither shall the people go up with him.

³And Moses came and told the people all the words of the LORD, and all the judgments: and all the people answered with one voice, and said, All the words which the LORD hath said will we do.

⁴And Moses wrote all the words of the LORD, and rose up early in the morning, and builded an altar under the hill, and twelve pillars, according to the twelve tribes of Israel.

Still with the erections.

Seriously tho' are we sure yhvh is pronounced jehova or yar wey could it not just as easily been Shiva

⁵And he sent young men of the children of Israel, which offered burnt offerings, and sacrificed peace offerings of oxen unto the LORD.

Oh pity the starving millions.

⁶And Moses took half of the blood, and put it in basons; and half of the blood he sprinkled on the altar.

Is he going to make some black pudding ?

⁷And he took the book of the covenant, and read in the audience of the people: and they said, All that the LORD hath said will we do, and be obedient.

⁸And Moses took the blood, and sprinkled it on the people, and said, Behold the blood of the covenant, which the LORD hath made with you concerning all these words.

I thought that was supposed to be a satanic ritual. Have them christians been lying ? Oh no, we haven't been introduced to Satan yet the serpent in Eden was just a serpent.

⁹Then went up Moses, and Aaron, Nadab, and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel:

¹⁰And they saw the God of Israel: and there was under his feet as it were a paved work of a sapphire stone, and as it were the body of heaven in his clearness.

Some strong hallucinogenic there or a slight stretching of the truth.

¹¹And upon the nobles of the children of Israel he laid not his hand: also they saw God, and did eat and drink.

Yay space cake and shrooms washed down with a nice chianti

¹²And the LORD said unto Moses, Come up to me into the mount, and be there: and I will give thee tables of stone, and a law, and commandments which I have written; that thou mayest teach them.

¹³And Moses rose up, and his minister Joshua: and Moses went up into the mount of God.

¹⁴And he said unto the elders, Tarry ye here for us, until we come again unto you: and, behold, Aaron and Hur are with you: if any man have any matters to do, let him come unto them.

¹⁵And Moses went up into the mount, and a cloud covered the mount.

Hey man he's got some serious toking to do if he wants to see god.

¹⁶And the glory of the LORD abode upon mount Sinai, and the cloud covered it six days: and the seventh day he called unto Moses out of the midst of the cloud.

Honest guv ! Oh and Jethro's nowhere to be seen and again, Honest guv !

¹⁷And the sight of the glory of the LORD was like devouring fire on the top of the mount in the eyes of the children of Israel.

¹⁸And Moses went into the midst of the cloud, and gat him up into the mount: and Moses was in the mount forty days and forty nights.

Carving all those laws must have taken a while no wonder they didn't use vowels.

Exodus 15

Exodus 15

¹Then sang Moses and the children of Israel this song unto the LORD, and spake, saying, I will sing unto the LORD, for he hath triumphed gloriously: the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea.

Oh wow it's an answered prayer

Still said today by god botherer's when things go their way as to the more usually said "It is the will of god", or" god works in mysterious ways". when things don't go their way

²The LORD is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, and I will exalt him.

Still said today especially just before the collection plate goes round.

³The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.

Not a god of peace and love then

⁴Pharaoh's chariots and his host hath he cast into the sea: his chosen captains also are drowned in the Red sea.

Red sea ?

⁵The depths have covered them: they sank into the bottom as a stone.

⁶Thy right hand, O LORD, is become glorious in power: thy right hand, O LORD, hath dashed in pieces the enemy.

⁷And in the greatness of thine excellency thou hast overthrown them that rose up against thee: thou sentest forth thy wrath, which consumed them as stubble.

Did they not burn stubble ?

⁸And with the blast of thy nostrils the waters were gathered together, the floods stood upright as an heap, and the depths were congealed in the heart of the sea.

⁹The enemy said, I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; my lust shall be satisfied upon them; I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them.

¹⁰Thou didst blow with thy wind, the sea covered them: they sank as lead in the mighty waters.

¹¹Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods? who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?

Still not the only one then perhaps the other gods aren't demented sadistic cunts.

¹²Thou stretchedst out thy right hand, the earth swallowed them.

¹³Thou in thy mercy hast led forth the people which thou hast redeemed: thou hast guided them in thy strength unto thy holy habitation.

¹⁴The people shall hear, and be afraid: sorrow shall take hold on the inhabitants of Palestina.

¹⁵Then the dukes of Edom shall be amazed; the mighty men of Moab, trembling shall take hold upon them; all the inhabitants of Canaan shall melt away.

Poor old Moses it's all been a bit much for him. His already tentative grasp on reality has gone off for a well earned rest. He has completely gone off hiss rocker.

¹⁶Fear and dread shall fall upon them; by the greatness of thine arm they shall be as still as a stone; till thy people pass over, O LORD, till the people pass over, which thou hast purchased.

Ummm!

Was there a selling of slaves, or ransome paid where did they mention that ?

¹⁷Thou shalt bring them in, and plant them in the mountain of thine inheritance, in the place, O LORD, which thou hast made for thee to dwell in, in the Sanctuary, O LORD, which thy hands have established.

¹⁸The LORD shall reign for ever and ever.

Or until the human race grows up and comes to it's senses.

¹⁹For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen into the sea, and the LORD brought again the waters of the sea upon them; but the children of Israel went on dry land in the midst of the sea.

²⁰And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances.

²¹And Miriam answered them, Sing ye to the LORD, for he hath triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea.

²²So Moses brought Israel from the Red sea, and they went out into the wilderness of Shur; and they went three days in the wilderness, and found no water.

Well that lasted well didn't it? Is there no beginning to gods power ?

²³And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter: therefore the name of it was called Marah.

²⁴And the people murmured against Moses, saying, What shall we drink?

So they left the beer of egypt and rather than go to palastine directly they go the other way towards africa. They must have a deity that really knows what he wants.

²⁵And he cried unto the LORD; and the LORD shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them,

²⁶And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

Since that time no jew has suffered illness pain or injustice thus proving the existance of god ,his honesty and his love.......

²⁷And they came to Elim, where were twelve wells of water, and threescore and ten palm trees: and they encamped there by the waters.

Theres that twelve and seven-ty again

Genesis 49

Genesis 49

¹And Jacob called unto his sons, and said, Gather yourselves together, that I may tell you that which shall befall you in the last days.

Can you believe it the sahara still has puddles after the flood and they've started calling on the "end times". Dickheads today are still saying the same thing, how many thousand years later ?

²Gather yourselves together, and hear, ye sons of Jacob; and hearken unto Israel your father.
³Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power:
⁴Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father's bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch.

I'll bet that gets quoted by many catholic priests too.However some scholers believe the passage meant he bonked one of Jacobs wives.

⁵Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations.
⁶O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall.
⁷Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.

Other translations have "and hamstrung oxen as they pleased."
Bit more extreme than pulling the wings off flies. But god obviously doesn't mind because they are from Abrahams loins.

⁸Judah, thou art he whom thy brethren shall praise: thy hand shall be in the neck of thine enemies; thy father's children shall bow down before thee.

Another verse in the Priests quote mining catalogue.

⁹Judah is a lion's whelp: from the prey, my son, thou art gone up: he stooped down, he couched as a lion, and as an old lion; who shall rouse him up?
¹⁰The sceptre shall not depart from Judah, nor a lawgiver from between his feet, until Shiloh come; and unto him shall the gathering of the people be.

Shiloh being the time of tribute,possibly judgement day.

¹¹Binding his foal unto the vine, and his ass's colt unto the choice vine; he washed his garments in wine, and his clothes in the blood of grapes:
¹²His eyes shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk.
¹³Zebulun shall dwell at the haven of the sea; and he shall be for an haven of ships; and his border shall be unto Zidon.
¹⁴Issachar is a strong ass couching down between two burdens:

Catholic quote mine

¹⁵And he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant; and bowed his shoulder to bear, and became a servant unto tribute.
¹⁶Dan shall judge his people, as one of the tribes of Israel.
¹⁷Dan shall be a serpent by the way, an adder in the path, that biteth the horse heels, so that his rider shall fall backward.

Remember the serpent in Eden this shows that a serpent at the time was not a snake but an educated and knowledgeable human being.

¹⁸I have waited for thy salvation, O LORD.
¹⁹Gad, a troop shall overcome him: but he shall overcome at the last.
²⁰Out of Asher his bread shall be fat, and he shall yield royal dainties.

After all those years of making sammiches for his dad.

²¹Naphtali is a hind let loose: he giveth goodly words.
²²Joseph is a fruitful bough, even a fruitful bough by a well; whose branches run over the wall:
²³The archers have sorely grieved him, and shot at him, and hated him:
²⁴But his bow abode in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob; (from thence is the shepherd, the stone of Israel:)

Why is there a smiley at the end of that sentence is it because it should be taken with a pinch of salt.

²⁵Even by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb:

Are they not the same ?

²⁶The blessings of thy father have prevailed above the blessings of my progenitors unto the utmost bound of the everlasting hills: they shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him that was separate from his brethren.
²⁷Benjamin shall ravin as a wolf: in the morning he shall devour the prey, and at night he shall divide the spoil.

And he seemed such a nice boy.

²⁸All these are the twelve tribes of Israel: and this is it that their father spake unto them, and blessed them; every one according to his blessing he blessed them.
²⁹And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite,
³⁰In the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre, in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephron the Hittite for a possession of a buryingplace.
³¹There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife; there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife; and there I buried Leah.
³²The purchase of the field and of the cave that is therein was from the children of Heth.jj³³And when Jacob had made an end of commanding his sons, he gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost, and was gathered unto his people.

So god told Jacob he would return home: Tis means either god is not omniscient or he is a lying cunt !

Genesis 46

Genesis 46

¹And Israel took his journey with all that he had, and came to Beersheba, and offered sacrifices unto the God of his father Isaac.

Children ? or just an oiled erection.

²And God spake unto Israel in the visions of the night, and said, Jacob, Jacob. And he said, Here am I.
³And he said, I am God, the God of thy father: fear not to go down into Egypt; for I will there make of thee a great nation:
⁴I will go down with thee into Egypt; and I will also surely bring thee up again: and Joseph shall put his hand upon thine eyes.

Dreams by any other name, or perhaps ergot was growing on the grain/bread

⁵And Jacob rose up from Beersheba: and the sons of Israel carried Jacob their father, and their little ones, and their wives, in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent to carry him.
⁶And they took their cattle, and their goods, which they had gotten in the land of Canaan, and came into Egypt, Jacob, and all his seed with him:
⁷His sons, and his sons' sons with him, his daughters, and his sons' daughters, and all his seed brought he with him into Egypt.
⁸And these are the names of the children of Israel, which came into Egypt, Jacob and his sons: Reuben, Jacob's firstborn.

Fuck here we go again. Yet another fucking list of mostly irrelevant names just to bore the tits off you.

⁹And the sons of Reuben; Hanoch, and Phallu, and Hezron, and Carmi.
¹⁰And the sons of Simeon; Jemuel, and Jamin, and Ohad, and Jachin, and Zohar, and Shaul the son of a Canaanitish woman.

I,m surprised she and her son got a mention you can't call them family.

¹¹And the sons of Levi; Gershon, Kohath, and Merari.
¹²And the sons of Judah; Er, and Onan, and Shelah, and Pharez, and Zarah: but Er and Onan died in the land of Canaan. And the sons of Pharez were Hezron and Hamul.
¹³And the sons of Issachar; Tola, and Phuvah, and Job, and Shimron.
¹⁴And the sons of Zebulun; Sered, and Elon, and Jahleel.
¹⁵These be the sons of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob in Padanaram, with his daughter Dinah: all the souls of his sons and his daughters were thirty and three.
¹⁶And the sons of Gad; Ziphion, and Haggi, Shuni, and Ezbon, Eri, and Arodi, and Areli.
¹⁷And the sons of Asher; Jimnah, and Ishuah, and Isui, and Beriah, and Serah their sister: and the sons of Beriah; Heber, and Malchiel.
¹⁸These are the sons of Zilpah, whom Laban gave to Leah his daughter, and these she bare unto Jacob, even sixteen souls.
¹⁹The sons of Rachel Jacob's wife; Joseph, and Benjamin.
²⁰And unto Joseph in the land of Egypt were born Manasseh and Ephraim, which Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On bare unto him.
²¹And the sons of Benjamin were Belah, and Becher, and Ashbel, Gera, and Naaman, Ehi, and Rosh, Muppim, and Huppim, and Ard.
²²These are the sons of Rachel, which were born to Jacob: all the souls were fourteen.
²³And the sons of Dan; Hushim.
²⁴And the sons of Naphtali; Jahzeel, and Guni, and Jezer, and Shillem.
²⁵These are the sons of Bilhah, which Laban gave unto Rachel his daughter, and she bare these unto Jacob: all the souls were seven.
²⁶All the souls that came with Jacob into Egypt, which came out of his loins, besides Jacob's sons' wives, all the souls were threescore and six;

Sixty six Hasn't got 600 servants with them too by any chance.

²⁷And the sons of Joseph, which were born him in Egypt, were two souls: all the souls of the house of Jacob, which came into Egypt, were threescore and ten.

So Jacob had TWELVE sons and the total of the whole herd was SEVEN...TY

²⁸And he sent Judah before him unto Joseph, to direct his face unto Goshen; and they came into the land of Goshen.
²⁹And Joseph made ready his chariot, and went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and presented himself unto him; and he fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while.

Something to me just isn't right about father and son necking.

³⁰And Israel said unto Joseph, Now let me die, since I have seen thy face, because thou art yet alive.
³¹And Joseph said unto his brethren, and unto his father's house, I will go up, and shew Pharaoh, and say unto him, My brethren, and my father's house, which were in the land of Canaan, are come unto me;
³²And the men are shepherds, for their trade hath been to feed cattle; and they have brought their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have.
³³And it shall come to pass, when Pharaoh shall call you, and shall say, What is your occupation?

If they were honest they would answer....

...con artists, thieves, liars and parasites.

But instead.

³⁴That ye shall say, Thy servants' trade hath been about cattle from our youth even until now, both we, and also our fathers: that ye may dwell in the land of Goshen; for every shepherd is an abomination unto the Egyptians.

Genesis 42

Genesis 42

¹Now when Jacob saw that there was corn in Egypt, Jacob said unto his sons, Why do ye look one upon another?

Probably because they had seen god popping in for an "all night wrestling session" and were wondering whether they should try it.

²And he said, Behold, I have heard that there is corn in Egypt: get you down thither, and buy for us from thence; that we may live, and not die.

Cos' we all know god won't save 'em and man cannot live by semen alone.

Some one please correct me if I am wrong but Egypt is and was fed by the Nile. The Nile originates a long way south in Africa. Jacob unless they have moved from Bethel already mentioned using wells and was living much nearer the Jordan which has a source(s) to the north. So I would have thought that if something had occurred that affected the water levels in the Nile would not have affected Jacobs water source.

Surely any other reason that would have affected both locations[one a teaming city the other a farmstead/livestock operation] would have been big enough to have been mentioned somewhere.

Perhaps they were just crap farmers, maybe if that wanker god had shown a bit of foresight back in Eden and not shit on all Cains hard work ?

Jacob would have surely learned in all his time working for his father in law the practice of ditches for irrigation.

³And Joseph's ten brethren went down to buy corn in Egypt.
⁴But Benjamin, Joseph's brother, Jacob sent not with his brethren; for he said, Lest peradventure mischief befall him.

Who Benjamin or Jacob?

Or perhaps god was off somewhere else and Jacob needed someone else to "wrestle" with.

⁵And the sons of Israel came to buy corn among those that came: for the famine was in the land of Canaan.
⁶And Joseph was the governor over the land, and he it was that sold to all the people of the land:and Joseph's brethren came, and bowed down themselves before him with their faces to the earth.

Now theres another reason to associate Hebrews with India.
He's emmigrated and set up a corner shop.

⁷And Joseph saw his brethren, and he knew them, but made himself strange unto them, and spake roughly unto them; and he said unto them, Whence come ye? And they said, From the land of Canaan to buy food.

Thats another thing Egypt why? The city of Dan was closer and an easier journey.

⁸And Joseph knew his brethren, but they knew not him.

I assume this means recognise, not they had sex.

⁹And Joseph remembered the dreams which he dreamed of them, and said unto them, Ye are spies; to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.
¹⁰And they said unto him, Nay, my lord, but to buy food are thy servants come.
¹¹We are all one man's sons; we are true men, thy servants are no spies.
¹²And he said unto them, Nay, but to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.
¹³And they said, Thy servants are twelve brethren, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan; and, behold, the youngest is this day with our father, and one is not.
¹⁴And Joseph said unto them, That is it that I spake unto you, saying, Ye are spies:
¹⁵Hereby ye shall be proved: By the life of Pharaoh ye shall not go forth hence, except your youngest brother come hither.
¹⁶Send one of you, and let him fetch your brother, and ye shall be kept in prison, that your words may be proved, whether there be any truth in you: or else by the life of Pharaoh surely ye are spies.
¹⁷And he put them all together into ward three days.
¹⁸And Joseph said unto them the third day, This do, and live; for I fear God:

As shown by his total disregard for anyone else save himself.

¹⁹If ye be true men, let one of your brethren be bound in the house of your prison: go ye, carry corn for the famine of your houses:
²⁰But bring your youngest brother unto me; so shall your words be verified, and ye shall not die. And they did so.
²¹And they said one to another, We are verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us.

Is this guilt ?

²²And Reuben answered them, saying, Spake I not unto you, saying, Do not sin against the child; and ye would not hear? therefore, behold, also his blood is required.

Yes but only because they think they are being punished for selling their brother.

²³And they knew not that Joseph understood them; for he spake unto them by an interpreter.
²⁴And he turned himself about from them, and wept; and returned to them again, and communed with them, and took from them Simeon, and bound him before their eyes.
²⁵Then Joseph commanded to fill their sacks with corn, and to restore every man's money into his sack, and to give them provision for the way: and thus did he unto them.

On the face of it seems like a nice gesture but being Joseph no doubt there is some unhealthy twist to it.

²⁶And they laded their asses with the corn, and departed thence.
²⁷And as one of them opened his sack to give his ass provender in the inn, he espied his money; for, behold, it was in his sack's mouth.

So they have travelled to egypt to buy grain to feed their families, and at the inn where you would expect them to be able to buy fodder for thier asses and themselves they are wasting the grain on thier asses.

²⁸And he said unto his brethren, My money is restored; and, lo, it is even in my sack: and their heart failed them, and they were afraid, saying one to another, What is this that God hath done unto us?
²⁹And they came unto Jacob their father unto the land of Canaan, and told him all that befell unto them; saying,
³⁰The man, who is the lord of the land, spake roughly to us, and took us for spies of the country.
³¹And we said unto him, We are true men; we are no spies:
³²We be twelve brethren, sons of our father; one is not, and the youngest is this day with our father in the land of Canaan.
³³And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye are true men; leave one of your brethren here with me, and take food for the famine of your households, and be gone:
³⁴And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye are no spies, but that ye are true men: so will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffick in the land.
³⁵And it came to pass as they emptied their sacks, that, behold, every man's bundle of money was in his sack: and when both they and their father saw the bundles of money, they were afraid.
³⁶And Jacob their father said unto them, Me have ye bereaved of my children: Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin away: all these things are against me.
³⁷And Reuben spake unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again.

Oh! That'll be alright then.

³⁸And he said, My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he is left alone: if mischief befall him by the way in the which ye go, then shall ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.

3rd Recap

What have we got?
We may have at last got a vague time frame.Although the existence of Sodom and Gomorrah is still disputed by some, those that do accept them as fact, tend to agree they fell between 2500-2200 BCE.Is this not around the time given for the flood by the 6,000 year old earth theory pushed around by the religious wrong.
Which is it guy's and gal's can't have it both way's ? Even if the flood preceded this by a couple of hundred years we are still aware of many thriving cultures both locally and around the world at this time.
We are tracking one branch of a family tree that due to repetitive elements must have come from an oral tradition, quite possibly formalized as songs.
God appears often but these early narratives seems to be almost if not completely impotent on his own. Needing his agents, either angels or the family of Abraham to do things for him. With the obvious exception that he is given as the cause of natural disasters.
WE see here already some translation difficulties are beginning to be shown as in, was she turned to salt or did she disappear for a perfectly natural reason ?
Are these genuine mistakes or were they attempts by the early church to make the stories fit the myths ?
Raising of stones is something that occurs over much of the world, mostly if not always for astrological observations, but as far as we know the anointing of stones with oil seems to hold more connections with Hinduism from India.
This is not 100% of a surprise as the already recurring numeric details hint at an astrological base for these Abrahmic myths.
These early stories have it all. Excitement, Murder, Intrigue, Sex and Death the only thing missing is irrefutable facts. So far the only things100% factual are slime pits and the city of Ur.

Genesis 25

Genesis 25

¹Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah.
Why the hell would he want one, Seriously ?
²And she bare him Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah.
Good job he had menservants.
³And Jokshan begat Sheba, and Dedan. And the sons of Dedan were Asshurim, and Letushim, and Leummim.
⁴And the sons of Midian; Ephah, and Epher, and Hanoch, and Abidah, and Eldaah. All these were the children of Keturah.
⁵And Abraham gave all that he had unto Isaac.
Finally showing guilt for trying to kill him all those years ago.
⁶But unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son, while he yet lived, eastward, unto the east country.
⁷And these are the days of the years of Abraham's life which he lived, an hundred threescore and fifteen years.
⁸Then Abraham gave up the ghost, and died in a good old age, an old man, and full of years; and was gathered to his people.
Y'know I think this Abraham saga once was a song, Taken from an oral history.
That would explain the repetition.
⁹And his sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron the son of Zohar the Hittite, which is before Mamre;
¹⁰The field which Abraham purchased of the sons of Heth: there was Abraham buried, and Sarah his wife.
¹¹And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed his son Isaac; and Isaac dwelt by the well Lahairoi.
¹²Now these are the generations of Ishmael, Abraham's son, whom Hagar the Egyptian, Sarah's handmaid, bare unto Abraham:
¹³And these are the names of the sons of Ishmael, by their names, according to their generations: the firstborn of Ishmael, Nebajoth; and Kedar, and Adbeel, and Mibsam,
¹⁴And Mishma, and Dumah, and Massa,
¹⁵Hadar, and Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah:
¹⁶These are the sons of Ishmael, and these are their names, by their towns, and by their castles; twelve princes according to their nations.
¹⁷And these are the years of the life of Ishmael, an hundred and thirty and seven years: and he gave up the ghost and died; and was gathered unto his people.
¹⁸And they dwelt from Havilah unto Shur, that is before Egypt, as thou goest toward Assyria: and he died in the presence of all his brethren.
¹⁹And these are the generations of Isaac, Abraham's son: Abraham begat Isaac:
²⁰And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padanaram, the sister to Laban the Syrian.
²¹And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.
Isaac must have been Abraham's son.
Inherited Impotence.
How the fuck does that work?
²²And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the LORD.
Have we finally got a glimmer of the fabled omniscience ? Or is he just going by girth.
²³And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.
²⁴And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb.
²⁵And the first came out red, all over like an hairy garment; and they called his name Esau.
²⁶And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau's heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them.
²⁷And the boys grew: and Esau was a cunning hunter, a man of the field; and Jacob was a plain man, dwelling in tents.

My brother called me a cunning hunter , at least that's what I think he said.

²⁸And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison:but Rebekah loved Jacob.
²⁹And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint:
³⁰And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom.
³¹And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright.
³²And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?
³³And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.
³⁴Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.
This is just brother's being brother's, any brother will at any time for any reason fuck his brother over. It's the law.

Genesis 21

Genesis 21

¹And the LORD visited Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did unto Sarah as he had spoken.

Is this not yet another begotten son ? How many is that now ? So much for the late great JC as being "gods only begotten son" Or perhaps we are talking of some symbolic bollocks that has yet to be confirmed.
²For Sarah conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him.
Dec 25 by any chance ?

³And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bare to him, Isaac.
⁴And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac being eight days old, as God had commanded him.
⁵And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.
⁶And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.
No dear "at you"

⁷And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age.
So was born the Idea the Catholic Priesthood holds dearest.

⁸And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned.
⁹And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking.
Be fair, who in their right mind could do anything but mock.

¹⁰Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.
¹¹And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son.

Nothing to do with the fact that Hagar was still fit and could put on a good show for a stupid senile old man.

¹²And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.
Any thing for a quite life.

¹³And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.
God changed his plan again ?

¹⁴And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.
¹⁵And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.
¹⁶And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bow shot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept.
¹⁷And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.
¹⁸Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation.
¹⁹And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.
Is it just me or is this not a virtual retelling of the previously told story?

²⁰And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.
²¹And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran: and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.
²²And it came to pass at that time, that Abimelech and Phichol the chief captain of his host spake unto Abraham, saying, God is with thee in all that thou doest:
²³Now therefore swear unto me here by God that thou wilt not deal falsely with me, nor with my son, nor with my son's son: but according to the kindness that I have done unto thee, thou shalt do unto me, and to the land wherein thou hast sojourned.
I am still thinking we have the ramblings of an old man on his death bed.

²⁴And Abraham said, I will swear.
²⁵And Abraham reproved Abimelech because of a well of water, which Abimelech's servants had violently taken away.
²⁶And Abimelech said, I wot not who hath done this thing; neither didst thou tell me, neither yet heard I of it, but to day.
²⁷And Abraham took sheep and oxen, and gave them unto Abimelech; and both of them made a covenant.
²⁸And Abraham set seven ewe lambs of the flock by themselves.
²⁹And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What mean these seven ewe lambs which thou hast set by themselves?
³⁰And he said, For these seven ewe lambs shalt thou take of my hand, that they may be a witness unto me, that I have digged this well.
³¹Wherefore he called that place Beersheba; because there they sware both of them.
³²Thus they made a covenant at Beersheba: then Abimelech rose up, and Phichol the chief captain of his host, and they returned into the land of the Philistines.
³³And Abraham planted a grove in Beersheba, and called there on the name of the LORD, the everlasting God.
⁴And Abraham sojourned in the Philistines' land many days.
Has anyone else noticed how certain number's keep cropping up.
Seven
Twelve
Forty