2 Samuel 12

1. And the LORD sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor.

2The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: 

3 But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.

Wow a carnivourous lamb, for a book that apparently denies evolution it sure does list alot of evolutionary failures(four legged birds and insects, talking snakes and now a meat eating ruminant)

I also worry about him treating it as his daughter, with the incestuous history of some patriarchs I wonder whether David is actually Daffydd?

 

4 And there came a traveler unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him.

5 And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the LORD liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die:

6 And he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.

Fuck me! Some one actually using the laws of moses to punish a crime. Exodus 22:1 " If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep."

Here endeth the irrelevent filler.
And resume the story.
 

7 And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul; 

8 And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things. 

9 Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the LORD, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon.

What a suprise, delard didn't see it coming, and did nothing to prevent it. It's almost as though he wasn't really there.
 

10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. 

11 Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

12 For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun. 

13 And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. 

14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die. 

15 And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.

So for Davids crime. The widow of Uriah, now married to David suffers a sickly, no doubt soon to be dead child. So who is the one getting punished here?
 

16 David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.

17 And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.
Because that will really make up for breaking how many of delards big 10 commandments ?

18 And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?

19 But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. 

20 Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.

21 Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. 

22 And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?

23 But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. 

24 And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the LORD loved him.

"comforted"? by giveing her a good fucking. That somehow seems wrong, but what do I know?
 

25 And he sent by the hand of Nathan the prophet; and he called his name Jedidiah, because of the LORD. 

26 And Joab fought against Rabbah of the children of Ammon, and took the royal city. 

27 And Joab sent messengers to David, and said, I have fought against Rabbah, and have taken the city of waters. 

28 Now therefore gather the rest of the people together, and encamp against the city, and take it: lest I take the city, and it be called after my name. 

29 And David gathered all the people together, and went to Rabbah, and fought against it, and took it.
 30 And he took their king's crown from off his head, the weight whereof was a talent of gold with the precious stones: and it was set on David's head. And he brought forth the spoil of the city in great abundance.

Religion what's it all about?

31 And he brought forth the people that were therein, and put them under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brick-kiln: and thus did he unto all the cities of the children of Ammon. So David and all the people returned unto Jerusalem.

This last verse, wow can you feel the love. Or does the the pain of being butchered and burned obscure it?
Do you think delard enjoyed the smell of burning flesh? Perhaps that's why he has a downer on pork. one sniff of bacon and instant priapus. 

Joshua 14

¹And these are the countries which the children of Israel inherited in the land of Canaan, which Eleazar the priest, and Joshua the son of Nun, and the heads of the fathers of the tribes of the children of Israel, distributed for inheritance to them.

Umm, can I just get you to look again at the penultimate verse of the last chapter

Joshua 13: ³² These are the countries which Moses did distribute for inheritance in the plains of Moab, on the other side Jordan, by Jericho, eastward.

²By lot was their inheritance, as the LORD commanded by the hand of Moses, for the nine tribes, and for the half tribe.

³For Moses had given the inheritance of two tribes and an half tribe on the other side Jordan: but unto the Levites he gave none inheritance among them.

Did I miss the bit where Moses came back from the dead ?

⁴For the children of Joseph were two tribes, Manasseh and Ephraim: therefore they gave no part unto the Levites in the land, save cities to dwell in, with their suburbs for their cattle and for their substance.

⁵As the LORD commanded Moses, so the children of Israel did, and they divided the land.

⁶Then the children of Judah came unto Joshua in Gilgal: and Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite said unto him, Thou knowest the thing that the LORD said unto Moses the man of God concerning me and thee in Kadeshbarnea.

⁷Forty years old was I when Moses the servant of the LORD sent me from Kadeshbarnea to espy out the land; and I brought him word again as it was in mine heart.

⁸Nevertheless my brethren that went up with me made the heart of the people melt: but I wholly followed the LORD my God.

⁹And Moses sware on that day, saying, Surely the land whereon thy feet have trodden shall be thine inheritance, and thy children's for ever, because thou hast wholly followed the LORD my God.

¹⁰And now, behold, the LORD hath kept me alive, as he said, these forty and five years, even since the LORD spake this word unto Moses, while the children of Israel wandered in the wilderness: and now, lo, I am this day fourscore and five years old.

¹¹As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in.

Now although this is not totally out of the realms of possibility it is highly doubtful I suspect they are still using the two years per year system.

¹²Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the LORD spake in that day; for thou heardest in that day how the Anakims were there, and that the cities were great and fenced: if so be the LORD will be with me, then I shall be able to drive them out, as the LORD said.

¹³And Joshua blessed him, and gave unto Caleb the son of Jephunneh Hebron for an inheritance.

¹⁴Hebron therefore became the inheritance of Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite unto this day, because that he wholly followed the LORD God of Israel.

¹⁵And the name of Hebron before was Kirjatharba; which Arba was a great man among the Anakims. And the land had rest from war.

When you read this ,you can see it sort of romanticises the conquests. I can't help but wonder. If it contained graphic descriptions of the killings,tortures and rapes.Would it be so highly thought of ?

Joshua 13

¹Now Joshua was old and stricken in years; and the LORD said unto him, Thou art old and stricken in years, and there remaineth yet very much land to be possessed.

So de lard is able to state the blindingly obvious but apparently powerless to prevent Joshua from ageing before he has done the work of de lard or for that matter to help him hurry up a bit.

²This is the land that yet remaineth: all the borders of the Philistines, and all Geshuri,

Fuck I thought I was going to be able to take the piss but although it started well has deteriorated into yet another list

³From Sihor, which is before Egypt, even unto the borders of Ekron northward, which is counted to the Canaanite: five lords of the Philistines; the Gazathites, and the Ashdothites, the Eshkalonites, the Gittites, and the Ekronites; also the Avites:

⁴From the south, all the land of the Canaanites, and Mearah that is beside the Sidonians unto Aphek, to the borders of the Amorites:

⁵And the land of the Giblites, and all Lebanon, toward the sunrising, from Baalgad under mount Hermon unto the entering into Hamath.

⁶All the inhabitants of the hill country from Lebanon unto Misrephothmaim, and all the Sidonians, them will I drive out from before the children of Israel: only divide thou it by lot unto the Israelites for an inheritance, as I have commanded thee.

⁷Now therefore divide this land for an inheritance unto the nine tribes, and the half tribe of Manasseh,

What ? How the fuck can you have half a tribe, sure you can divide a tribe in half but once one half is gone then the half becomes the whole

⁸With whom the Reubenites and the Gadites have received their inheritance, which Moses gave them, beyond Jordan eastward, even as Moses the servant of the LORD gave them;

⁹From Aroer, that is upon the bank of the river Arnon, and the city that is in the midst of the river, and all the plain of Medeba unto Dibon;

¹⁰And all the cities of Sihon king of the Amorites, which reigned in Heshbon, unto the border of the children of Ammon;

¹¹And Gilead, and the border of the Geshurites and Maachathites, and all mount Hermon, and all Bashan unto Salcah;

¹²All the kingdom of Og in Bashan, which reigned in Ashtaroth and in Edrei, who remained of the remnant of the giants: for these did Moses smite, and cast them out.

¹³Nevertheless the children of Israel expelled not the Geshurites, nor the Maachathites: but the Geshurites and the Maachathites dwell among the Israelites until this day.

¹⁴Only unto the tribes of Levi he gave none inheritance; the sacrifices of the LORD God of Israel made by fire are their inheritance, as he said unto them.

¹⁵And Moses gave unto the tribe of the children of Reuben inheritance according to their families.

¹⁶And their coast was from Aroer, that is on the bank of the river Arnon, and the city that is in the midst of the river, and all the plain by Medeba;

¹⁷Heshbon, and all her cities that are in the plain; Dibon, and Bamothbaal, and Bethbaalmeon,

¹⁸And Jahaza, and Kedemoth, and Mephaath,

¹⁹And Kirjathaim, and Sibmah, and Zarethshahar in the mount of the valley,

²⁰And Bethpeor, and Ashdothpisgah, and Bethjeshimoth,

²¹And all the cities of the plain, and all the kingdom of Sihon king of the Amorites, which reigned in Heshbon, whom Moses smote with the princes of Midian, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, which were dukes of Sihon, dwelling in the country.

²²Balaam also the son of Beor, the soothsayer, did the children of Israel slay with the sword among them that were slain by them.

²³And the border of the children of Reuben was Jordan, and the border thereof. This was the inheritance of the children of Reuben after their families, the cities and the villages thereof.

²⁴And Moses gave inheritance unto the tribe of Gad, even unto the children of Gad according to their families.

²⁵And their coast was Jazer, and all the cities of Gilead, and half the land of the children of Ammon, unto Aroer that is before Rabbah;

²⁶And from Heshbon unto Ramathmizpeh, and Betonim; and from Mahanaim unto the border of Debir;

²⁷And in the valley, Betharam, and Bethnimrah, and Succoth, and Zaphon, the rest of the kingdom of Sihon king of Heshbon, Jordan and his border, even unto the edge of the sea of Chinnereth on the other side Jordan eastward.

²⁸This is the inheritance of the children of Gad after their families, the cities, and their villages.

²⁹And Moses gave inheritance unto the half tribe of Manasseh: and this was the possession of the half tribe of the children of Manasseh by their families.

³⁰And their coast was from Mahanaim, all Bashan, all the kingdom of Og king of Bashan, and all the towns of Jair, which are in Bashan, threescore cities:

³¹And half Gilead, and Ashtaroth, and Edrei, cities of the kingdom of Og in Bashan, were pertaining unto the children of Machir the son of Manasseh, even to the one half of the children of Machir by their families.

³²These are the countries which Moses did distribute for inheritance in the plains of Moab, on the other side Jordan, by Jericho, eastward.

³³But unto the tribe of Levi Moses gave not any inheritance: the LORD God of Israel was their inheritance, as he said unto them.

Wait a minute Moses gave this and Moses gave that. Fuck me! He is awfully generous considering he is dead and buried. Or is it as I suggested earlier Moses was not a name but a title.........Or is it just that one senile old megalomaniac looks the same as another

Deuteronomy Recap

Well ! That's the last so called book of Moses out of the way. Deuteronomy is often quoted to support bigotry but when you read it thoroughly it does have one or two gems that, to be honest am surprised made it through the original censors. Things like 32:8 which lets slip Adam may not be the father of ALL Mankind. Or 20:16 that states, "you must not allow a single living thing to survive". But what did surprise me was not only does this book reiterate that Moses is a control freak and a misogynist but underlines the facts not only is he a mass murdering slaver, he seems to encourage and channel, most, if not all of the elements of human behaviour that civilization tries to stem. Why people look up to this despicable character from over three thousand years ago is beyond me. If recognised by history at all he should be held aloft as an example of everything we should be striving against. The only people using him as an example should be those taking the idea of war crimes through to their extreme of total atrocities. I am glad to leave these books behind. I just hope that the day is near that the rest of mankind can do the same.
All in all aside from relying on the odd mis-translation the various branches of christianity rely heavily on the followers of whichever doctrine being ignorent of what is actually written. So regardless of their incessant ........"Read your bible", this is the last thing they want, aside from carefully picked excerpts. This "quote mining" is certainly endemic throughout all of the christian faiths with choice quotes used to get thier points across.
I encourage anyone believer or unbeliever read your bible or for that matter koran thouroughly but think about what is written. Remember that all though Man's questions (who we are, where did we come from etc.) Remain the same we now have a great more information about the world and universe around us. The answers change because we understand the questions in a more refined and deeper way. When we finally think we have all the answers as the religions will have us believe, the human race will, and can only stagnate.

Deuteronomy 34

This last chapter of the pentateuch is an obvious tagged on end to the tale.

¹And Moses went up from the plains of Moab unto the mountain of Nebo, to the top of Pisgah, that is over against Jericho. And the LORD shewed him all the land of Gilead, unto Dan,

²And all Naphtali, and the land of Ephraim, and Manasseh, and all the land of Judah, unto the utmost sea,

³And the south, and the plain of the valley of Jericho, the city of palm trees, unto Zoar.

⁴And the LORD said unto him, This is the land which I sware unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, saying, I will give it unto thy seed: I have caused thee to see it with thine eyes, but thou shalt not go over thither.

⁵So Moses the servant of the LORD died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the LORD.

⁶And he buried him in a valley in the land of Moab, over against Bethpeor: but no man knoweth of his sepulchre unto this day.

⁷And Moses was an hundred and twenty years old when he died: his eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated.

I have to ask.....If he was so fuckin' healthy why did he die ?

⁸And the children of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days: so the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.

⁹And Joshua the son of Nun was full of the spirit of wisdom; for Moses had laid his hands upon him: and the children of Israel hearkened unto him, and did as the LORD commanded Moses.

¹⁰And there arose not a prophet since in Israel like unto Moses, whom the LORD knew face to face,

¹¹In all the signs and the wonders, which the LORD sent him to do in the land of Egypt to Pharaoh, and to all his servants, and to all his land,

¹²And in all that mighty hand, and in all the great terror which Moses shewed in the sight of all Israel.

Deuteronomy 33

¹And this is the blessing, wherewith Moses the man of God blessed the children of Israel before his death.

²And he said, The LORD came from Sinai, and rose up from Seir unto them; he shined forth from mount Paran, and he came with ten thousands of saints: from his right hand went a fiery law for them.

There was me thinking saints were a catholic invention.

³Yea, he loved the people; all his saints are in thy hand: and they sat down at thy feet; every one shall receive of thy words.

Need I say more ?

⁴Moses commanded us a law, even the inheritance of the congregation of Jacob.

What follows is possibly a list of the leaders of the tribes with various aspects described in quite an irrational and confusing manner. But I do wonder whether this could have been the beginnings of what could have been considered a new pantheon of Hebrew proto-gods

⁵And he was king in Jeshurun, when the heads of the people and the tribes of Israel were gathered together.

⁶Let Reuben live, and not die; and let not his men be few.

⁷And this is the blessing of Judah: and he said, Hear, LORD, the voice of Judah, and bring him unto his people: let his hands be sufficient for him; and be thou an help to him from his enemies.

⁸And of Levi he said, Let thy Thummim and thy Urim be with thy holy one, whom thou didst prove at Massah, and with whom thou didst strive at the waters of Meribah;

⁹Who said unto his father and to his mother, I have not seen him; neither did he acknowledge his brethren, nor knew his own children: for they have observed thy word, and kept thy covenant.

¹⁰They shall teach Jacob thy judgments, and Israel thy law: they shall put incense before thee, and whole burnt sacrifice upon thine altar.

¹¹Bless, LORD, his substance, and accept the work of his hands; smite through the loins of them that rise against him, and of them that hate him, that they rise not again.

¹²And of Benjamin he said, The beloved of the LORD shall dwell in safety by him; and the Lord shall cover him all the day long, and he shall dwell between his shoulders.

¹³And of Joseph he said, Blessed of the LORD be his land, for the precious things of heaven, for the dew, and for the deep that coucheth beneath,

¹⁴And for the precious fruits brought forth by the sun, and for the precious things put forth by the moon,

¹⁵And for the chief things of the ancient mountains, and for the precious things of the lasting hills,

¹⁶And for the precious things of the earth and fulness thereof, and for the good will of him that dwelt in the bush: let the blessing come upon the head of Joseph, and upon the top of the head of him that was separated from his brethren.

¹⁷His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns: with them he shall push the people together to the ends of the earth: and they are the ten thousands of Ephraim, and they are the thousands of Manasseh.

Joseph had horns ?......plural.......like the horns of a unicorn ...is this scribe seeing double?

¹⁸And of Zebulun he said, Rejoice, Zebulun, in thy going out; and, Issachar, in thy tents.

¹⁹They shall call the people unto the mountain; there they shall offer sacrifices of righteousness: for they shall suck of the abundance of the seas, and of treasures hid in the sand.

The only way I can think of "sacrificing righteousness" would be to do something severely unrighteous.

²⁰And of Gad he said, Blessed be he that enlargeth Gad: he dwelleth as a lion, and teareth the arm with the crown of the head.

Is this the earliest known reference to a vacuum developer ?

²¹And he provided the first part for himself, because there, in a portion of the lawgiver, was he seated; and he came with the heads of the people, he executed the justice of the LORD, and his judgments with Israel.

²²And of Dan he said, Dan is a lion's whelp: he shall leap from Bashan.

²³And of Naphtali he said, O Naphtali, satisfied with favour, and full with the blessing of the LORD: possess thou the west and the south.

²⁴And of Asher he said, Let Asher be blessed with children; let him be acceptable to his brethren, and let him dip his foot in oil.

²⁵Thy shoes shall be iron and brass; and as thy days, so shall thy strength be.

²⁶There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun, who rideth upon the heaven in thy help, and in his excellency on the sky.

²⁷The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them.

²⁸Israel then shall dwell in safety alone: the fountain of Jacob shall be upon a land of corn and wine; also his heavens shall drop down dew.

²⁹Happy art thou, O Israel: who is like unto thee, O people saved by the LORD, the shield of thy help, and who is the sword of thy excellency! and thine enemies shall be found liars unto thee; and thou shalt tread upon their high places.

Deuteronomy 32

¹Give ear, O ye heavens, and I will speak; and hear, O earth, the words of my mouth.

²My doctrine shall drop as the rain, my speech shall distil as the dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb, and as the showers upon the grass:

He was right there....Just like the rain, it is polluted with human detritus.

³Because I will publish the name of the LORD: ascribe ye greatness unto our God.

⁴He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he.

Has the meaning of these words changed or would a lawsuit be applicable under the current trading standards, citing false advertising ?

⁵They have corrupted themselves, their spot is not the spot of his children: they are a perverse and crooked generation.

Is this just what we now call the generation gap ? Part of the natural child/parent rejection process. Any good parents will watch their offspring make mistakes they advised against,ready to help pick up the pieces when they go tits up,or congratulate them when they succeed. Only poor parents will disown their children for going against their wishes.

⁶Do ye thus requite the LORD, O foolish people and unwise? is not he thy father that hath bought thee? hath he not made thee, and established thee?

An interesting choice of word here........RE-QUITE

–verb (used with object), -quit⋅ed, -quit⋅ing. 1. to make repayment or return for (service, benefits, etc.). 2. to make retaliation for (a wrong, injury, etc.); avenge. 3. to make return to (a person, group, etc.) for service, benefits, etc. 4. to retaliate on (a person, group, etc.) for a wrong, injury, etc. 5. to give or do in return.

So is it revenge or repay ?

7Remember the days of old, consider the years of many generations: ask thy father, and he will shew thee; thy elders, and they will tell thee.

⁸When the Most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when he separated the sons of Adam, he set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel.

So, what does that actually mean ? Separated which sons of Adam from what ?

Could it possibly mean, separated from the rest of humanity ? Seems I was right when I pointed out that gen:1:27 states god created man AND women in one foul swoop and later in gen:2:7 created Adam. He got him to name all living things, which must have taken years.Then made a clone of Adam(Steve) gen2:21 then gave Steve a sex change.

⁹For the LORD's portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance.

¹⁰He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.

¹¹As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh them, beareth them on her wings:

¹²So the LORD alone did lead him, and there was no strange god with him.

Verse 4 stated "god of truth" and yet there is no mention of Jacob being lost. There are however hints of delirium.

¹³He made him ride on the high places of the earth, that he might eat the increase of the fields; and he made him to suck honey out of the rock, and oil out of the flinty rock;

I would like to see a geological explanation of that........Anybody ?

¹⁴Butter of kine, and milk of sheep, with fat of lambs, and rams of the breed of Bashan, and goats, with the fat of kidneys of wheat; and thou didst drink the pure blood of the grape.

delard is really crap at biology

¹⁵But Jeshurun waxed fat, and kicked: thou art waxen fat, thou art grown thick, thou art covered with fatness; then he forsook God which made him, and lightly esteemed the Rock of his salvation.

¹⁶They provoked him to jealousy with strange gods, with abominations provoked they him to anger.

Most humans recognise jealousy as a destructive emotion that stems from feelings of inadequacy, an emotion that needs to be controlled. Why does a being who is allegedly so powerful suffer from it so much ?

¹⁷They sacrificed unto devils, not to God; to gods whom they knew not, to new gods that came newly up, whom your fathers feared not.

¹⁸Of the Rock that begat thee thou art unmindful, and hast forgotten God that formed thee.

¹⁹And when the LORD saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons, and of his daughters.

²⁰And he said, I will hide my face from them, I will see what their end shall be: for they are a very froward generation, children in whom is no faith.

²¹They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger with their vanities: and I will move them to jealousy with those which are not a people; I will provoke them to anger with a foolish nation.

²²For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains.

²³I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon them.

²⁴They shall be burnt with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with bitter destruction: I will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the poison of serpents of the dust.

²⁵The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs.

²⁶I said, I would scatter them into corners, I would make the remembrance of them to cease from among men:

²⁷Were it not that I feared the wrath of the enemy, lest their adversaries should behave themselves strangely, and lest they should say, Our hand is high, and the LORD hath not done all this.

²⁸For they are a nation void of counsel, neither is there any understanding in them.

²⁹O that they were wise, that they understood this, that they would consider their latter end!

³⁰How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight, except their Rock had sold them, and the LORD had shut them up?

³¹For their rock is not as our Rock, even our enemies themselves being judges.

³²For their vine is of the vine of Sodom, and of the fields of Gomorrah: their grapes are grapes of gall, their clusters are bitter:

³³Their wine is the poison of dragons, and the cruel venom of asps.

³⁴Is not this laid up in store with me, and sealed up among my treasures?

³⁵To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.

³⁶For the LORD shall judge his people, and repent himself for his servants, when he seeth that their power is gone, and there is none shut up, or left.

³⁷And he shall say, Where are their gods, their rock in whom they trusted,

³⁸Which did eat the fat of their sacrifices, and drank the wine of their drink offerings? let them rise up and help you, and be your protection.

³⁹See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.

⁴⁰For I lift up my hand to heaven, and say, I live for ever.

⁴¹If I whet my glittering sword, and mine hand take hold on judgment; I will render vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward them that hate me.

⁴²I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh; and that with the blood of the slain and of the captives, from the beginning of revenges upon the enemy.

⁴³Rejoice, O ye nations, with his people: for he will avenge the blood of his servants, and will render vengeance to his adversaries, and will be merciful unto his land, and to his people.

⁴⁴And Moses came and spake all the words of this song in the ears of the people, he, and Hoshea the son of Nun.

⁴⁵And Moses made an end of speaking all these words to all Israel:

⁴⁶And he said unto them, Set your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day, which ye shall command your children to observe to do, all the words of this law.

⁴⁷For it is not a vain thing for you; because it is your life: and through this thing ye shall prolong your days in the land, whither ye go over Jordan to possess it.

⁴⁸And the LORD spake unto Moses that selfsame day, saying,

⁴⁹Get thee up into this mountain Abarim, unto mount Nebo, which is in the land of Moab, that is over against Jericho; and behold the land of Canaan, which I give unto the children of Israel for a possession:

⁵⁰And die in the mount whither thou goest up, and be gathered unto thy people; as Aaron thy brother died in mount Hor, and was gathered unto his people:

⁵¹Because ye trespassed against me among the children of Israel at the waters of MeribahKadesh, in the wilderness of Zin; because ye sanctified me not in the midst of the children of Israel.

⁵²Yet thou shalt see the land before thee; but thou shalt not go thither unto the land which I give the children of Israel.

I wonder whether this chapter is actually the "Song of Moses" mentioned in the last chapter.

Deuteronomy 31

So this chapter starts with an outright lie.

¹And Moses went and spake these words unto all Israel.

How do I know it's a lie ?

Simple it says so in the bible.

I hear the cry ," No it Doesn't !"

But it does, It tells us that Israel is spread over a large area, at least three cities.

So unless Moses was able to somehow broadcast his voice, the opening line was untrue.

²And he said unto them, I am an hundred and twenty years old this day; I can no more go out and come in: also the LORD hath said unto me, Thou shalt not go over this Jordan.

³The LORD thy God, he will go over before thee, and he will destroy these nations from before thee, and thou shalt possess them: and Joshua, he shall go over before thee, as the LORD hath said.

⁴And the LORD shall do unto them as he did to Sihon and to Og, kings of the Amorites, and unto the land of them, whom he destroyed.

⁵And the LORD shall give them up before your face, that ye may do unto them according unto all the commandments which I have commanded you.

For anyone just joining, that is enslavement for young virgins of faraway cities death to all others

⁶Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

⁷And Moses called unto Joshua, and said unto him in the sight of all Israel, Be strong and of a good courage: for thou must go with this people unto the land which the LORD hath sworn unto their fathers to give them; and thou shalt cause them to inherit it.

⁸And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.

⁹And Moses wrote this law, and delivered it unto the priests the sons of Levi, which bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD, and unto all the elders of Israel.

¹⁰And Moses commanded them, saying, At the end of every seven years, in the solemnity of the year of release, in the feast of tabernacles,

¹¹When all Israel is come to appear before the LORD thy God in the place which he shall choose, thou shalt read this law before all Israel in their hearing.

¹²Gather the people together, men and women, and children, and thy stranger that is within thy gates, that they may hear, and that they may learn, and fear the LORD your God, and observe to do all the words of this law:

¹³And that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the LORD your God, as long as ye live in the land whither ye go over Jordan to possess it.

¹⁴And the LORD said unto Moses, Behold, thy days approach that thou must die: call Joshua, and present yourselves in the tabernacle of the congregation, that I may give him a charge. And Moses and Joshua went, and presented themselves in the tabernacle of the congregation.

¹⁵And the LORD appeared in the tabernacle in a pillar of a cloud: and the pillar of the cloud stood over the door of the tabernacle.

¹⁶And the LORD said unto Moses, Behold, thou shalt sleep with thy fathers; and this people will rise up, and go a whoring after the gods of the strangers of the land, whither they go to be among them, and will forsake me, and break my covenant which I have made with them.

Honest ! that is a Euphemism for death. Nothing to do with incest or gay sex.

¹⁷Then my anger shall be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide my face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall befall them; so that they will say in that day, Are not these evils come upon us, because our God is not among us?

For an entity that is supposedly older than time, why the consistent unrelenting threats to the effect if he doesn't get his own way he will throw a tantrum like a spoilt teenage girl ?

¹⁸And I will surely hide my face in that day for all the evils which they shall have wrought, in that they are turned unto other gods.

¹⁹Now therefore write ye this song for you, and teach it the children of Israel: put it in their mouths, that this song may be a witness for me against the children of Israel.

Huh!

²⁰For when I shall have brought them into the land which I sware unto their fathers, that floweth with milk and honey; and they shall have eaten and filled themselves, and waxen fat; then will they turn unto other gods, and serve them, and provoke me, and break my covenant.

²¹And it shall come to pass, when many evils and troubles are befallen them, that this song shall testify against them as a witness; for it shall not be forgotten out of the mouths of their seed: for I know their imagination which they go about, even now, before I have brought them into the land which I sware.

²²Moses therefore wrote this song the same day, and taught it the children of Israel.

I'll bet it wasn't this song.

²³And he gave Joshua the son of Nun a charge, and said, Be strong and of a good courage: for thou shalt bring the children of Israel into the land which I sware unto them: and I will be with thee.

²⁴And it came to pass, when Moses had made an end of writing the words of this law in a book, until they were finished,

²⁵That Moses commanded the Levites, which bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD, saying,

²⁶Take this book of the law, and put it in the side of the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, that it may be there for a witness against thee.

²⁷For I know thy rebellion, and thy stiff neck: behold, while I am yet alive with you this day, ye have been rebellious against the LORD; and how much more after my death?

²⁸Gather unto me all the elders of your tribes, and your officers, that I may speak these words in their ears, and call heaven and earth to record against them.

²⁹For I know that after my death ye will utterly corrupt yourselves, and turn aside from the way which I have commanded you; and evil will befall you in the latter days; because ye will do evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger through the work of your hands.

Probably wasn't this one either

³⁰And Moses spake in the ears of all the congregation of Israel the words of this song, until they were ended.

Deuteronomy 10

¹At that time the LORD said unto me, Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first, and come up unto me into the mount, and make thee an ark of wood.

²And I will write on the tables the words that were in the first tables which thou brakest, and thou shalt put them in the ark.

³And I made an ark of shittim wood, and hewed two tables of stone like unto the first, and went up into the mount, having the two tables in mine hand.

This sequence of events has always been put to me as evidence of gods power. Why ?

He has failed to convince the Israelites either of his existence or his power,else they would stop being fickle about who or what they are following.

He was unable to foresee and prevent the events leading up to the breaking if the tablets. Or reach out to catch them.

He was unable to foresee and prevent the Israelites from worshipping the golen calf leading to the murders of about three thousand men (Exodus 32:28) which is conveniently missed from this reiteration.

⁴And he wrote on the tables, according to the first writing, the ten commandments, which the LORD spake unto you in the mount out of the midst of the fire in the day of the assembly: and the LORD gave them unto me.

⁵And I turned myself and came down from the mount, and put the tables in the ark which I had made; and there they be, as the LORD commanded me.

⁶And the children of Israel took their journey from Beeroth of the children of Jaakan to Mosera: there Aaron died, and there he was buried; and Eleazar his son ministered in the priest's office in his stead.

⁷From thence they journeyed unto Gudgodah; and from Gudgodah to Jotbath, a land of rivers of waters.

⁸At that time the LORD separated the tribe of Levi, to bear the ark of the covenant of the LORD, to stand before the LORD to minister unto him, and to bless in his name, unto this day.

⁹Wherefore Levi hath no part nor inheritance with his brethren; the LORD is his inheritance, according as the LORD thy God promised him.

¹⁰And I stayed in the mount, according to the first time, forty days and forty nights; and the LORD hearkened unto me at that time also, and the LORD would not destroy thee.

¹¹And the LORD said unto me, Arise, take thy journey before the people, that they may go in and possess the land, which I sware unto their fathers to give unto them.

¹²And now, Israel, what doth the LORD thy God require of thee, but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul,

To walk in all his ways what does that mean ?

Except perhaps, behave like a hateful spoilt brat that smashes up his toys when he doesn't get his own way.

¹³To keep the commandments of the LORD, and his statutes, which I command thee this day for thy good?

Which commandments the do not kill and steal or the go steal land and kill the occupants ?

¹⁴Behold, the heaven and the heaven of heavens is the LORD's thy God, the earth also, with all that therein is.

¹⁵Only the LORD had a delight in thy fathers to love them, and he chose their seed after them, even you above all people, as it is this day.

¹⁶Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no more stiffnecked.

WTF. A stiff neck can be cured by having your heart circumcised. Well fuck me I never knew your foreskin was there. I need to see a doctor, mines on the end of my cock.

¹⁷For the LORD your God is God of gods, and Lord of lords, a great God, a mighty, and a terrible, which regardeth not persons, nor taketh reward:

¹⁸He doth execute the judgment of the fatherless and widow, and loveth the stranger, in giving him food and raiment.

¹⁹Love ye therefore the stranger: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.

Except of course when you go steal their land and are killing the occupants ?

²⁰Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God; him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name.

²¹He is thy praise, and he is thy God, that hath done for thee these great and terrible things, which thine eyes have seen.

²²Thy fathers went down into Egypt with threescore and ten persons; and now the LORD thy God hath made thee as the stars of heaven for multitude.

Did de lard tell him that ? Or did Moses make it up either way it couldn't possibly be true.

Deuteronomy 9

¹Hear, O Israel: Thou art to pass over Jordan this day, to go in to possess nations greater and mightier than thyself, cities great and fenced up to heaven,

²A people great and tall, the children of the Anakims, whom thou knowest, and of whom thou hast heard say, Who can stand before the children of Anak!

³Understand therefore this day, that the LORD thy God is he which goeth over before thee; as a consuming fire he shall destroy them, and he shall bring them down before thy face: so shalt thou drive them out, and destroy them quickly, as the LORD hath said unto thee.

⁴Speak not thou in thine heart, after that the LORD thy God hath cast them out from before thee, saying, For my righteousness the LORD hath brought me in to possess this land: but for the wickedness of these nations the LORD doth drive them out from before thee.

wick·ed
adj. wick·ed·er, wick·ed·est 1. Evil by nature and in practice: "this wicked man Hitler, the repository and embodiment of many forms of soul-destroying hatred" (Winston S. Churchill). 2. Playfully malicious or mischievous: a wicked prank; a critic's wicked wit. 3. Severe and distressing: a wicked cough; a wicked gash; wicked driving conditions. 4. Highly offensive; obnoxious: a wicked stench. 5. Slang Strikingly good, effective, or skillful: a wicked curve ball; a wicked imitation. [Middle English, alteration of wicke, ultimately from Old English wicca, sorcerer; see witch.] wick'ed·ly adv., wick'ed·ness n. ess n.

⁵Not for thy righteousness, or for the uprightness of thine heart, dost thou go to possess their land: but for the wickedness of these nations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee, and that he may perform the word which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

right·eous adj. 1. Morally upright; without guilt or sin: a righteous parishioner. 2. In accordance with virtue or morality: a righteous judgment. 3. Morally justifiable: righteous anger. See Synonyms at moral. n. Righteous people considered as a group. [Middle English ryghtuous, alteration of rihtwise, from Old English rihtwīs : riht, right; see right + -wīse, -wise.] right'eous·ly adv., right'eous·ness n.

⁶Understand therefore, that the LORD thy God giveth thee not this good land to possess it for thy righteousness; for thou art a stiffnecked people.

Has the scribe confused those two words. It seems to me truly wicked to storm someone's city and kill all the occupants. Especially on orders from an entity claiming that these people are your brothers.

Lets take this a bit further, throw our rationale out of the window and briefly accept this bollocks as the truth. According to the texts we have read all mankind is descended from Noah and his family.The great flood happened at least 1,000 years earlier. So somewhere between then and the time of Moses some people have not mentioned what a wonderful god the great JHVH is. Because of this , the almighty(his words not mine) thinks the only way forwards is for these unruly immigrants to murder every last motherfucking one of them.

Now what was that again about de lards wisdom, understanding and love ?

⁷Remember, and forget not, how thou provokedst the LORD thy God to wrath in the wilderness: from the day that thou didst depart out of the land of Egypt, until ye came unto this place, ye have been rebellious against the LORD.

Because the simple question "Why" is a major sin.

⁸Also in Horeb ye provoked the LORD to wrath, so that the LORD was angry with you to have destroyed you.

⁹When I was gone up into the mount to receive the tables of stone, even the tables of the covenant which the LORD made with you, then I abode in the mount forty days and forty nights, I neither did eat bread nor drink water:

Just spacecake, magic mushrooms and wine.

¹⁰And the LORD delivered unto me two tables of stone written with the finger of God; and on them was written according to all the words, which the LORD spake with you in the mount out of the midst of the fire in the day of the assembly.

¹¹And it came to pass at the end of forty days and forty nights, that the LORD gave me the two tables of stone, even the tables of the covenant.

¹²And the LORD said unto me, Arise, get thee down quickly from hence; for thy people which thou hast brought forth out of Egypt have corrupted themselves; they are quickly turned aside out of the way which I commanded them; they have made them a molten image.

Because the awesome spectacle, the incredible power of de lard has been so incredible that the simple people that escaped Egypt have,without the rantings of an insane leader with a pet magician to literally put the fear of god into them, forgotten about it in just over a month.

¹³Furthermore the LORD spake unto me, saying, I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiffnecked people:

¹⁴Let me alone, that I may destroy them, and blot out their name from under heaven: and I will make of thee a nation mightier and greater than they.

Hang on, as I understand to be born a Jew, your mother must have been a Jew. If de lard had carried out this threat how would he have built a nation from Moses and his wives one Midianite and one Ethiopian ?

¹⁵So I turned and came down from the mount, and the mount burned with fire: and the two tables of the covenant were in my two hands.

¹⁶And I looked, and, behold, ye had sinned against the LORD your God, and had made you a molten calf: ye had turned aside quickly out of the way which the LORD had commanded you.

¹⁷And I took the two tables, and cast them out of my two hands, and brake them before your eyes.

It took de lard six days to create the world but forty days to make two stone tablets, and god is not pissed off with Moses for breaking them. And yet Moses is able to rewrite them in a day, does this not seem strange to anyone but me ?

¹⁸And I fell down before the LORD, as at the first, forty days and forty nights: I did neither eat bread, nor drink water, because of all your sins which ye sinned, in doing wickedly in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.

¹⁹For I was afraid of the anger and hot displeasure, wherewith the LORD was wroth against you to destroy you. But the LORD hearkened unto me at that time also.

²⁰And the LORD was very angry with Aaron to have destroyed him: and I prayed for Aaron also the same time.

²¹And I took your sin, the calf which ye had made, and burnt it with fire, and stamped it, and ground it very small, even until it was as small as dust: and I cast the dust thereof into the brook that descended out of the mount.

Didn't the original tale tell us they were forced to drink the dust laden water?

²²And at Taberah, and at Massah, and at Kibrothhattaavah, ye provoked the LORD to wrath.

²³Likewise when the LORD sent you from Kadeshbarnea, saying, Go up and possess the land which I have given you; then ye rebelled against the commandment of the LORD your God, and ye believed him not, nor hearkened to his voice.

²⁴Ye have been rebellious against the LORD from the day that I knew you.

²⁵Thus I fell down before the LORD forty days and forty nights, as I fell down at the first; because the LORD had said he would destroy you.

²⁶I prayed therefore unto the LORD, and said, O Lord GOD, destroy not thy people and thine inheritance, which thou hast redeemed through thy greatness, which thou hast brought forth out of Egypt with a mighty hand.

Because the malevolent bastard is so easily swayed by a grovelling madman.

²⁷Remember thy servants, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; look not unto the stubbornness of this people, nor to their wickedness, nor to their sin:

²⁸Lest the land whence thou broughtest us out say, Because the LORD was not able to bring them into the land which he promised them, and because he hated them, he hath brought them out to slay them in the wilderness.

So at the end of the day it's all about spin. It was all to protect de lards reputation, otherwise the world would have seen his impotence much sooner.

²⁹Yet they are thy people and thine inheritance, which thou broughtest out by thy mighty power and by thy stretched out arm.

Deuteronomy 8

¹All the commandments which I command thee this day shall ye observe to do, that ye may live, and multiply, and go in and possess the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers.

Deuteronomy 5:3 says different.

²And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.

³And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live.

Deuteronomy 2:7 says "thou hast lacked nothing."

⁴Thy raiment waxed not old upon thee, neither did thy foot swell, these forty years.

⁵Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the LORD thy God chasteneth thee.

⁶Therefore thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to fear him.

Now c'mon if Moses can't get his facts right how can anyone else.

⁷For the LORD thy God bringeth thee into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills;

⁸A land of wheat, and barley, and vines, and fig trees, and pomegranates; a land of oil olive, and honey;

⁹A land wherein thou shalt eat bread without scarceness, thou shalt not lack any thing in it; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills thou mayest dig brass.

¹⁰When thou hast eaten and art full, then thou shalt bless the LORD thy God for the good land which he hath given thee.

¹¹Beware that thou forget not the LORD thy God, in not keeping his commandments, and his judgments, and his statutes, which I command thee this day:

¹²Lest when thou hast eaten and art full, and hast built goodly houses, and dwelt therein;

¹³And when thy herds and thy flocks multiply, and thy silver and thy gold is multiplied, and all that thou hast is multiplied;

¹⁴Then thine heart be lifted up, and thou forget the LORD thy God, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage;

¹⁵Who led thee through that great and terrible wilderness, wherein were fiery serpents, and scorpions, and drought, where there was no water; who brought thee forth water out of the rock of flint;

Is this the point to mention Deuteronomy 2:7 again ?

¹⁶Who fed thee in the wilderness with manna, which thy fathers knew not, that he might humble thee, and that he might prove thee, to do thee good at thy latter end;

¹⁷And thou say in thine heart, My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth.

Please correct me if I am wrong but I am sure "Thou shalt not steal" was mentioned in both renditions of the 10 commandments not to mention "thou shalt not kill", I also sure some where in the "lesser" commandments there was a mention of being nice to strangers.

¹⁸But thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, that he may establish his covenant which he sware unto thy fathers, as it is this day.

¹⁹And it shall be, if thou do at all forget the LORD thy God, and walk after other gods, and serve them, and worship them, I testify against you this day that ye shall surely perish.

Again more gods.

²⁰As the nations which the LORD destroyeth before your face, so shall ye perish; because ye would not be obedient unto the voice of the LORD your God.

Deuteronomy 7

¹When the LORD thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it, and hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than thou;

²And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them:

³Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

Hang on was not Mrs Moses no.1 a Midianite and Mrs Moses no.2 Ethiopian ?

Why is it Ok for Moses to fuck outside his ethnicity and no one else.

⁴For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.

Well as soon as Moses and his crew can get to you anyway.

⁵But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire.

⁶For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God: the LORD thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.

⁷The LORD did not set his love upon you, nor choose you, because ye were more in number than any people; for ye were the fewest of all people:

How very democratic of him.

You know the more I read about this so called god the less I believe he is worthy of worship. Invite him into my heart ......I wouldn't even want him in the same universe.

⁸But because the LORD loved you, and because he would keep the oath which he had sworn unto your fathers, hath the LORD brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you out of the house of bondmen, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.

⁹Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations;

Arn't we talking about the god who managed to almost drown the contents of the Ark because he forgot about Noah, the god who managed to forget his promise to Abaraham for 400 years,the god that has apparently chosen a small segment ofthe alleged descendants of Noah and his family and turned his back on the rest, the god that encourages behaviour that us mere mortals are trying to put behind us as we strive for true civilization.

¹⁰And repayeth them that hate him to their face, to destroy them: he will not be slack to him that hateth him, he will repay him to his face.

And he calls himself our Father ?

¹¹Thou shalt therefore keep the commandments, and the statutes, and the judgments, which I command thee this day, to do them.

Because obeying his laws is much better than being nice to your fellow man

¹²Wherefore it shall come to pass, if ye hearken to these judgments, and keep, and do them, that the LORD thy God shall keep unto thee the covenant and the mercy which he sware unto thy fathers:

1,000 generations he said , well modern Israel must have exceeded that so now thy are in the same boat as the rest of us. That means all these religious kooks are as fucked as the rest of us.

¹³And he will love thee, and bless thee, and multiply thee: he will also bless the fruit of thy womb, and the fruit of thy land, thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep, in the land which he sware unto thy fathers to give thee.

If this were true surely the Israelites and their descendant would be living peacefully and would own the world a sort of Jewtopia.

¹⁴Thou shalt be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you, or among your cattle.

No ! don't believe a word.

¹⁵And the LORD will take away from thee all sickness, and will put none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which thou knowest, upon thee; but will lay them upon all them that hate thee.

Take away all sickness. Fuck me these are some of the sickest bastards I have ever read about. and they encourage children to read this shit.

¹⁶And thou shalt consume all the people which the LORD thy God shall deliver thee; thine eye shall have no pity upon them: neither shalt thou serve their gods; for that will be a snare unto thee.

Yup ! That is definitely sick.

¹⁷If thou shalt say in thine heart, These nations are more than I; how can I dispossess them?

¹⁸Thou shalt not be afraid of them: but shalt well remember what the LORD thy God did unto Pharaoh, and unto all Egypt;

Take the credit for natural disasters.

¹⁹The great temptations which thine eyes saw, and the signs, and the wonders, and the mighty hand, and the stretched out arm, whereby the LORD thy God brought thee out: so shall the LORD thy God do unto all the people of whom thou art afraid.

²⁰Moreover the LORD thy God will send the hornet among them, until they that are left, and hide themselves from thee, be destroyed.

²¹Thou shalt not be affrighted at them: for the LORD thy God is among you, a mighty God and terrible.

He might be terrible but his only might is the ignorence and sheer bloody mindedness of his followers.

²²And the LORD thy God will put out those nations before thee by little and little: thou mayest not consume them at once, lest the beasts of the field increase upon thee.

²³But the LORD thy God shall deliver them unto thee, and shall destroy them with a mighty destruction, until they be destroyed.

²⁴And he shall deliver their kings into thine hand, and thou shalt destroy their name from under heaven: there shall no man be able to stand before thee, until thou have destroyed them.

²⁵The graven images of their gods shall ye burn with fire: thou shalt not desire the silver or gold that is on them, nor take it unto thee, lest thou be snared therin: for it is an abomination to the LORD thy God.

I'll bet this is another commandment that somehow gets adjusted.

²⁶Neither shalt thou bring an abomination into thine house, lest thou be a cursed thing like it: but thou shalt utterly detest it, and thou shalt utterly abhor it; for it is a cursed thing.

What is an abomination save the believe that you can commit evil acts to please your imaginary freind.

Deuteronomy 6

¹Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it:

²That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged.

As I said earlier Fear is not Love

³Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey.

⁴Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:

Again an implication there are other gods

⁵And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. .

⁶And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

⁷And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

⁸And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

⁹And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

¹⁰And it shall be, when the LORD thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not,

¹¹And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;

Do you think these religious leaders would be happy if they got home after spouting their shit about de love of de lard and found a herd of homeless jews squatting in their mansions proclaiming god had given it to them ?

¹²Then beware lest thou forget the LORD, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

Do they have a strap on night to remember this ?

¹³Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.

I'll do better than that I will swear at his name....jahweh, jehova, allah or whatever your fuckwit followers want to call you, I think you are a malevolent imaginary cunt and a total bastard on the side.

¹⁴Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round about you;

Definitely other gods then

¹⁵(For the LORD thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.

Worrying about his genitalia again

¹⁶Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.

No don't tempt him like that he don't like it he wants to be tempted with some nice firm youthful masculine buttocks

¹⁷Ye shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies, and his statutes, which he hath commanded thee.

¹⁸And thou shalt do that which is right and good in the sight of the LORD: that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest go in and possess the good land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers.

But what is wrong to any sensible,thoughtful caring person

¹⁹To cast out all thine enemies from before thee, as the LORD hath spoken.

They didn't really have any until Jethro put these daft Ideas into Moses head.

²⁰And when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD our God hath commanded you?

²¹Then thou shalt say unto thy son, We were Pharaoh's bondmen in Egypt; and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand:

²²And the LORD shewed signs and wonders, great and sore, upon Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his household, before our eyes:

Shit happened and Moses gave his imaginary friend the credit.

²³And he brought us out from thence, that he might bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers.

²⁴And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day.

²⁵And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the LORD our God, as he hath commanded us.