2 Samuel 12

1. And the LORD sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor.

2The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: 

3 But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.

Wow a carnivourous lamb, for a book that apparently denies evolution it sure does list alot of evolutionary failures(four legged birds and insects, talking snakes and now a meat eating ruminant)

I also worry about him treating it as his daughter, with the incestuous history of some patriarchs I wonder whether David is actually Daffydd?

 

4 And there came a traveler unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him.

5 And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the LORD liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die:

6 And he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.

Fuck me! Some one actually using the laws of moses to punish a crime. Exodus 22:1 " If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep."

Here endeth the irrelevent filler.
And resume the story.
 

7 And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul; 

8 And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things. 

9 Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the LORD, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon.

What a suprise, delard didn't see it coming, and did nothing to prevent it. It's almost as though he wasn't really there.
 

10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. 

11 Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

12 For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun. 

13 And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. 

14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die. 

15 And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.

So for Davids crime. The widow of Uriah, now married to David suffers a sickly, no doubt soon to be dead child. So who is the one getting punished here?
 

16 David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.

17 And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.
Because that will really make up for breaking how many of delards big 10 commandments ?

18 And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?

19 But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. 

20 Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.

21 Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. 

22 And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?

23 But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. 

24 And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the LORD loved him.

"comforted"? by giveing her a good fucking. That somehow seems wrong, but what do I know?
 

25 And he sent by the hand of Nathan the prophet; and he called his name Jedidiah, because of the LORD. 

26 And Joab fought against Rabbah of the children of Ammon, and took the royal city. 

27 And Joab sent messengers to David, and said, I have fought against Rabbah, and have taken the city of waters. 

28 Now therefore gather the rest of the people together, and encamp against the city, and take it: lest I take the city, and it be called after my name. 

29 And David gathered all the people together, and went to Rabbah, and fought against it, and took it.
 30 And he took their king's crown from off his head, the weight whereof was a talent of gold with the precious stones: and it was set on David's head. And he brought forth the spoil of the city in great abundance.

Religion what's it all about?

31 And he brought forth the people that were therein, and put them under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brick-kiln: and thus did he unto all the cities of the children of Ammon. So David and all the people returned unto Jerusalem.

This last verse, wow can you feel the love. Or does the the pain of being butchered and burned obscure it?
Do you think delard enjoyed the smell of burning flesh? Perhaps that's why he has a downer on pork. one sniff of bacon and instant priapus. 

1 Samuel Recap

 I actually enjoyed reading this book, although you wouldn't think so seeings how long it took.

So we start this book with the familiar tale of a barren woman,married to an old man. We know she is the infertile one in the relationship as there is another wife with children. There is no mention whether these children look more like “uncle Abu Ben Fucker” or their “father”

After “visiting” the local priest and his sons, the barren wife is found unconscious as if drunken and then the following day miraculously conceives as she does after every following annual visit.

The legitimate sons of Eli the priest are greedy and known for taking whatever they fancy.

Eli takes her first-born under his wing and teaches him the priestly duties as he did with his own sons.

As the years go by young Sam hears de lard whispering sweet nothings as he spends nights staying with his grandad mentor.

We then get into a war with the Philistines with a smattering of prophesy and fables thrown in to blame the pasting the Israelites get on Eli and his sons that are all dead after the battle. Eli died after falling off his chair.

During this battle the Philistines capture the fabled ark the Israelites are apparently more upset about losing their magic box than they are about losing their friends and relatives.

The Philistines are struck with piles, supposedly as a punishment from de lard. Strange how after proving himself by being a pain in their collective arses they do not bow down and worship him. The result of this, is for the Philistines utilising the foremost science and medicine of the time. Throw the ark, accompanied by some mice and haemorrhoids made of gold into a cart drawn by some ex heifer's, then release them. I wonder whether that's where the phrase “Having piles of gold come from.”

The cows take the Ark to the Levites who upon receipt of de lards box are rewarded by de lards gratitude with 50,000 dead.(20,000)more than those that died when they lost the Ark). We must however remember maths are not the scribes strong point.

Twenty years down the line Sam still has his invisible friend and decides the Israelites must stop worshipping Baalim(gods) and Ashteroth(Mrs de lard) To do this he calls all the Israelites together. The Philistines would have seized this opportunity to finish them off but Sam called up the power of de lard by butchering a lamb so de lard would scare them with a thunderstorm.

Sam is promoted to seer and sees himself as king, something the people do not want, strangely enough, de lard agrees with them.

Enter Saul from stage left. Saul is taken under Sam’s wing and chosen to be king. The relationship between Sam and Saul seems to be more than just friends. Even so Saul manages to father Johnathan.

Saul settles into his kingly role and starts to antagonize the Philistines the narrative seems to lose the plot and any grasp of mathematics when reporting skirmishes.

We then get into a couple of incidents that involve de omniscient one admitting to lack of fore sight and mistakes so repenting and changing his mind. Sam dies and Saul, either through grief or just being inept, becomes the crappiest crappy king in crapland.

We then have the David and Goliath tale quickly followed by Jonny and David getting friendly, very friendly. A relationship that Saul disapproves of so much he “gives” him his daughter as a wife. Yet demanding 100 Philistine foreskins as a payment. David killed 200 men to get these???

Saul was not happy with David’s success and wanted to kill him, Johnny made him promise that he would not. A promise as good as de lards, as he tried but David escaped.

He assembles a small band of men and roams Saul follows in two or one encounters David could have killed Saul and didn't. They then have two or one pow wows which ends with Saul admitting he was wrong and allowing David and his merry men to go on their way. They go to the land of the Philistines and get less shit of their”enemies” than they got from their kinsmen. In return he and his men became mercenaries for the philistines but without the philistines softer side.

Saul battles with the Philistines and johnny is killed.

Saul shows his cowardice bravery and lack of dignity by topping himself

To,sum it all up Power, Gay sex Power more gay sex with a shit load of death thrown in.

Deuteronomy 3

¹Then we turned, and went up the way to Bashan: and Og the king of Bashan came out against us, he and all his people, to battle at Edrei.

²And the LORD said unto me, Fear him not: for I will deliver him, and all his people, and his land, into thy hand; and thou shalt do unto him as thou didst unto Sihon king of the Amorites, which dwelt at Heshbon.

So there you have it in de words of de lard !

³So the LORD our God delivered into our hands Og also, the king of Bashan, and all his people: and we smote him until none was left to him remaining.

⁴And we took all his cities at that time, there was not a city which we took not from them, threescore cities, all the region of Argob, the kingdom of Og in Bashan.

⁵All these cities were fenced with high walls, gates, and bars; beside unwalled towns a great many.

Walled cities were hard to lay siege to unless you knew what you were doing. This implies skills you would not develop living in tents in the desert.e.g. building siege ramps and siege towers.

⁶And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city.

Again I can't help but wonder why ? How much land do these people need ?

I really do suspect that a small community has got caught up in the invasion that is recorded in the armana letters and if that's the case it is the leader of the sea peoples that is now called god,as I said earlier, I wonder whether it is the same Moses.

⁷But all the cattle, and the spoil of the cities, we took for a prey to ourselves.

⁸And we took at that time out of the hand of the two kings of the Amorites the land that was on this side Jordan, from the river of Arnon unto mount Hermon;

⁹(Which Hermon the Sidonians call Sirion; and the Amorites call it Shenir;)

¹⁰All the cities of the plain, and all Gilead, and all Bashan, unto Salchah and Edrei, cities of the kingdom of Og in Bashan.

¹¹For only Og king of Bashan remained of the remnant of giants; behold his bedstead was a bedstead of iron; is it not in Rabbath of the children of Ammon? nine cubits was the length thereof, and four cubits the breadth of it, after the cubit of a man.

I think here what we have isn't a giants bed but a giant bed... four cubits long and nine cubits wide. A bed made not for a giant to sleep on, but a bed to have orgies on. Og was not a giant ,he was however a stallion.

¹²And this land, which we possessed at that time, from Aroer, which is by the river Arnon, and half mount Gilead, and the cities thereof, gave I unto the Reubenites and to the Gadites.

¹³And the rest of Gilead, and all Bashan, being the kingdom of Og, gave I unto the half tribe of Manasseh; all the region of Argob, with all Bashan, which was called the land of giants.

¹⁴Jair the son of Manasseh took all the country of Argob unto the coasts of Geshuri and Maachathi; and called them after his own name, Bashanhavothjair, unto this day.

¹⁵And I gave Gilead unto Machir.

¹⁶And unto the Reubenites and unto the Gadites I gave from Gilead even unto the river Arnon half the valley, and the border even unto the river Jabbok, which is the border of the children of Ammon;

¹⁷The plain also, and Jordan, and the coast thereof, from Chinnereth even unto the sea of the plain, even the salt sea, under Ashdothpisgah eastward.

¹⁸And I commanded you at that time, saying, The LORD your God hath given you this land to possess it: ye shall pass over armed before your brethren the children of Israel, all that are meet for the war.

¹⁹But your wives, and your little ones, and your cattle, (for I know that ye have much cattle,) shall abide in your cities which I have given you;

Typical ! Leave the women to tidy up the mess,look after the kids and feed the animals.

²⁰Until the LORD have given rest unto your brethren, as well as unto you, and until they also possess the land which the LORD your God hath given them beyond Jordan: and then shall ye return every man unto his possession, which I have given you.

²¹And I commanded Joshua at that time, saying, Thine eyes have seen all that the LORD your God hath done unto these two kings: so shall the LORD do unto all the kingdoms whither thou passest.

²²Ye shall not fear them: for the LORD your God he shall fight for you.

²³And I besought the LORD at that time, saying,

²⁴O Lord GOD, thou hast begun to shew thy servant thy greatness, and thy mighty hand: for what God is there in heaven or in earth, that can do according to thy works, and according to thy might?

²⁵I pray thee, let me go over, and see the good land that is beyond Jordan, that goodly mountain, and Lebanon.

So they have got enough space to live. Its just old Moses wants world domination.

Of course there is another option....all this happened in the mind of moses and some scribes wrote his utterances before he died.

²⁶But the LORD was wroth with me for your sakes, and would not hear me: and the LORD said unto me, Let it suffice thee; speak no more unto me of this matter.

This last verse suggests to me this god is a man, a general or king either with a pre set agenda or he didn't go that way because that was his home turf.

²⁷Get thee up into the top of Pisgah, and lift up thine eyes westward, and northward, and southward, and eastward, and behold it with thine eyes: for thou shalt not go over this Jordan.

²⁸But charge Joshua, and encourage him, and strengthen him: for he shall go over before this people, and he shall cause them to inherit the land which thou shalt see.

²⁹So we abode in the valley over against Bethpeor.

Deuteronomy 2

¹Then we turned, and took our journey into the wilderness by the way of the Red sea, as the LORD spake unto me: and we compassed mount Seir many days.

²And the LORD spake unto me, saying,

³Ye have compassed this mountain long enough: turn you northward.

⁴And command thou the people, saying, Ye are to pass through the coast of your brethren the children of Esau, which dwell in Seir; and they shall be afraid of you: take ye good heed unto yourselves therefore.

⁵Meddle not with them; for I will not give you of their land, no, not so much as a foot breadth; because I have given mount Seir unto Esau for a possession.

I think this is another of gods promises that time will show isn't worth a wank. In fact I don't get the impression any of de lards promises work with the test of time, quite often shown to be bullshit within a year or so.

⁶Ye shall buy meat of them for money, that ye may eat; and ye shall also buy water of them for money, that ye may drink.

⁷For the LORD thy God hath blessed thee in all the works of thy hand: he knoweth thy walking through this great wilderness: these forty years the LORD thy God hath been with thee; thou hast lacked nothing.

Thou hast lacked nothing....Fucking excuse me...I thought they lacked food and water at least once if not twice depending how you want to interpret the two accounts and how many deaths happened because the starving masses were eating the already forbidden carrion ?

Not to mention other things they would have taken for granted in Egypt. Such as stability,comfort,the ability to wash, to name but a few.

⁸And when we passed by from our brethren the children of Esau, which dwelt in Seir, through the way of the plain from Elath, and from Eziongaber, we turned and passed by the way of the wilderness of Moab.

⁹And the LORD said unto me, Distress not the Moabites, neither contend with them in battle: for I will not give thee of their land for a possession; because I have given Ar unto the children of Lot for a possession.

I think that the sudden need to leave these people alone comes more from the fact that they got their arses kicked, rather than god showing mercy or even morals.

In fact I find it interesting to note,at the present spokesmen of many of the world religions and the odd crackpot politician are drumming out the old tirade that without religion man is immoral, regardless of the ever growing list on my sidebar.Here we have the focal point of christianity and judaeism shown time and time again to be one of the least moral in recorded history with the added immorality of cowardice to the list of attrocities only (as far as I know equalled by Hitler, Genghis khan and the Emporor Wu

I feel it is also noteworthy that at least two of those are judged to have struggled with their sanity before their deaths.

¹⁰The Emims dwelt therein in times past, a people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims;

¹¹Which also were accounted giants, as the Anakims; but the Moabites called them Emims.

Would it be possible the Anakim are the same race of people as the Ananuki ? Seems someone agrees with me

¹²The Horims also dwelt in Seir beforetime; but the children of Esau succeeded them, when they had destroyed them from before them, and dwelt in their stead; as Israel did unto the land of his possession, which the LORD gave unto them.

¹³Now rise up, said I, and get you over the brook Zered. And we went over the brook Zered.

¹⁴And the space in which we came from Kadeshbarnea, until we were come over the brook Zered, was thirty and eight years; until all the generation of the men of war were wasted out from among the host, as the LORD sware unto them.

¹⁵For indeed the hand of the LORD was against them, to destroy them from among the host, until they were consumed.

¹⁶So it came to pass, when all the men of war were consumed and dead from among the people,

¹⁷That the LORD spake unto me, saying,

¹⁸Thou art to pass over through Ar, the coast of Moab, this day:

¹⁹And when thou comest nigh over against the children of Ammon, distress them not, nor meddle with them: for I will not give thee of the land of the children of Ammon any possession; because I have given it unto the children of Lot for a possession.

Here again we see de lard supporting immorality this time the decendants of an incestuous relationship.

²⁰(That also was accounted a land of giants: giants dwelt therein in old time; and the Ammonites call them Zamzummims;

²¹A people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims; but the LORD destroyed them before them; and they succeeded them, and dwelt in their stead:

Does "giants" mean something other than very big. The spies that brought back the news of the giant Anakim, were chastised for reporting bullshit ,now every fucker is a giant, or perhaps the Israelites were particularly short

²²As he did to the children of Esau, which dwelt in Seir, when he destroyed the Horims from before them; and they succeeded them, and dwelt in their stead even unto this day:

²³And the Avims which dwelt in Hazerim, even unto Azzah, the Caphtorims, which came forth out of Caphtor, destroyed them, and dwelt in their stead.)

²⁴Rise ye up, take your journey, and pass over the river Arnon: behold, I have given into thine hand Sihon the Amorite, king of Heshbon, and his land: begin to possess it, and contend with him in battle.

²⁵This day will I begin to put the dread of thee and the fear of thee upon the nations that are under the whole heaven, who shall hear report of thee, and shall tremble, and be in anguish because of thee.

Does this mean anti-semitism is decreed by de lard ?

²⁶And I sent messengers out of the wilderness of Kedemoth unto Sihon king of Heshbon with words of peace, saying,

²⁷Let me pass through thy land: I will go along by the high way, I will neither turn unto the right hand nor to the left.

²⁸Thou shalt sell me meat for money, that I may eat; and give me water for money, that I may drink: only I will pass through on my feet;

²⁹(As the children of Esau which dwell in Seir, and the Moabites which dwell in Ar, did unto me;) until I shall pass over Jordan into the land which the LORD our God giveth us.

³⁰But Sihon king of Heshbon would not let us pass by him: for the LORD thy God hardened his spirit, and made his heart obstinate, that he might deliver him into thy hand, as appeareth this day.

So de lard, god of peace is shit stirring again ? What happened to this so called freewill we are supposed to have ?

³¹And the LORD said unto me, Behold, I have begun to give Sihon and his land before thee: begin to possess, that thou mayest inherit his land.

³²Then Sihon came out against us, he and all his people, to fight at Jahaz.

³³And the LORD our God delivered him before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people.

³⁴And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain:

Can you feel the morality ?

Then again the fact that they slaughtered everyone means they were moral in the fact they didn't take slaves and moral as they didn't commit human sacrifice this time.

³⁵Only the cattle we took for a prey unto ourselves, and the spoil of the cities which we took.

³⁶From Aroer, which is by the brink of the river of Arnon, and from the city that is by the river, even unto Gilead, there was not one city too strong for us: the LORD our God delivered all unto us:

³⁷Only unto the land of the children of Ammon thou camest not, nor unto any place of the river Jabbok, nor unto the cities in the mountains, nor unto whatsoever the LORD our God

Numbers 35

Fuck this is annoying, normally I read through and just record what I think, as I am reading it. But this chapter, aside from the genocidal inference, Moses is seen here making plans, and serving the distinction between murder and manslaughter. I suppose even the most insane must have periods of lucidity.

¹And the LORD spake unto Moses in the plains of Moab by Jordan near Jericho, saying,

²Command the children of Israel, that they give unto the Levites of the inheritance of their possession cities to dwell in; and ye shall give also unto the Levites suburbs for the cities round about them.

³And the cities shall they have to dwell in; and the suburbs of them shall be for their cattle, and for their goods, and for all their beasts.

⁴And the suburbs of the cities, which ye shall give unto the Levites, shall reach from the wall of the city and outward a thousand cubits round about.

⁵And ye shall measure from without the city on the east side two thousand cubits, and on the south side two thousand cubits, and on the west side two thousand cubits, and on the north side two thousand cubits; and the city shall be in the midst: this shall be to them the suburbs of the cities.

⁶And among the cities which ye shall give unto the Levites there shall be six cities for refuge, which ye shall appoint for the manslayer, that he may flee thither: and to them ye shall add forty and two cities.

⁷So all the cities which ye shall give to the Levites shall be forty and eight cities: them shall ye give with their suburbs.

⁸And the cities which ye shall give shall be of the possession of the children of Israel: from them that have many ye shall give many; but from them that have few ye shall give few: every one shall give of his cities unto the Levites according to his inheritance which he inheriteth.

⁹And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

¹⁰Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When ye be come over Jordan into the land of Canaan;

¹¹Then ye shall appoint you cities to be cities of refuge for you; that the slayer may flee thither, which killeth any person at unawares.

¹²And they shall be unto you cities for refuge from the avenger; that the manslayer die not, until he stand before the congregation in judgment.

¹³And of these cities which ye shall give six cities shall ye have for refuge.

¹⁴Ye shall give three cities on this side Jordan, and three cities shall ye give in the land of Canaan, which shall be cities of refuge.

¹⁵These six cities shall be a refuge, both for the children of Israel, and for the stranger, and for the sojourner among them: that every one that killeth any person unawares may flee thither.

¹⁶And if he smite him with an instrument of iron, so that he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.

¹⁷And if he smite him with throwing a stone, wherewith he may die, and he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.

¹⁸Or if he smite him with an hand weapon of wood, wherewith he may die, and he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.

¹⁹The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.

²⁰But if he thrust him of hatred, or hurl at him by laying of wait, that he die;

²¹Or in enmity smite him with his hand, that he die: he that smote him shall surely be put to death; for he is a murderer: the revenger of blood shall slay the murderer, when he meeteth him.

²²But if he thrust him suddenly without enmity, or have cast upon him any thing without laying of wait,

²³Or with any stone, wherewith a man may die, seeing him not, and cast it upon him, that he die, and was not his enemy, neither sought his harm:

²⁴Then the congregation shall judge between the slayer and the revenger of blood according to these judgments:

²⁵And the congregation shall deliver the slayer out of the hand of the revenger of blood, and the congregation shall restore him to the city of his refuge, whither he was fled: and he shall abide in it unto the death of the high priest, which was anointed with the holy oil.

²⁶But if the slayer shall at any time come without the border of the city of his refuge, whither he was fled;

²⁷And the revenger of blood find him without the borders of the city of his refuge, and the revenger of blood kill the slayer; he shall not be guilty of blood:

²⁸Because he should have remained in the city of his refuge until the death of the high priest: but after the death of the high priest the slayer shall return into the land of his possession.

²⁹So these things shall be for a statute of judgment unto you throughout your generations in all your dwellings.

³⁰Whoso killeth any person, the murderer shall be put to death by the mouth of witnesses: but one witness shall not testify against any person to cause him to die.

³¹Moreover ye shall take no satisfaction for the life of a murderer, which is guilty of death: but he shall be surely put to death.

³²And ye shall take no satisfaction for him that is fled to the city of his refuge, that he should come again to dwell in the land, until the death of the priest.

³³So ye shall not pollute the land wherein ye are: for blood it defileth the land: and the land cannot be cleansed of the blood that is shed therein, but by the blood of him that shed it.

³⁴Defile not therefore the land which ye shall inhabit, wherein I dwell: for I the LORD dwell among the children of Israel.

Numbers 31

¹And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²Avenge the children of Israel of the Midianites: afterward shalt thou be gathered unto thy people.

Avenge the children of Israel of the Midianites.... I know many of us don't always see eye to eye with our in-laws but really.

³And Moses spake unto the people, saying, Arm some of yourselves unto the war, and let them go against the Midianites, and avenge the LORD of Midian.

Now I understand de lards promise of peace....They get it when they have killed every one else.

⁴Of every tribe a thousand, throughout all the tribes of Israel, shall ye send to the war.

⁵So there were delivered out of the thousands of Israel, a thousand of every tribe, twelve thousand armed for war.

⁶And Moses sent them to the war, a thousand of every tribe, them and Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, to the war, with the holy instruments, and the trumpets to blow in his hand.

⁷And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males.

⁸And they slew the kings of Midian, beside the rest of them that were slain; namely, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, five kings of Midian: Balaam also the son of Beor they slew with the sword.

Perhaps if he hadn't hit his head and turned coward and traitor he may have lived.

⁹And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods.

¹⁰And they burnt all their cities wherein they dwelt, and all their goodly castles, with fire.

¹¹And they took all the spoil, and all the prey, both of men and of beasts.

¹²And they brought the captives, and the prey, and the spoil, unto Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and unto the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the camp at the plains of Moab, which are by Jordan near Jericho.

¹³And Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and all the princes of the congregation, went forth to meet them without the camp.

¹⁴And Moses was wroth with the officers of the host, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle.

¹⁵And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive?

¹⁶Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the LORD in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD.

¹⁷Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.

Can you feel the love....

¹⁸But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

So all the women they probably raped were killed, and the ones they didn't the could rape another day.

¹⁹And do ye abide without the camp seven days: whosoever hath killed any person, and whosoever hath touched any slain, purify both yourselves and your captives on the third day, and on the seventh day.

²⁰And purify all your raiment, and all that is made of skins, and all work of goats' hair, and all things made of wood.

²¹And Eleazar the priest said unto the men of war which went to the battle, This is the ordinance of the law which the LORD commanded Moses;

So the laws demanding purification after being around a dead body far more importent than that irritating "Thou shalt not kill"

²²Only the gold, and the silver, the brass, the iron, the tin, and the lead,

²³Every thing that may abide the fire, ye shall make it go through the fire, and it shall be clean: nevertheless it shall be purified with the water of separation: and all that abideth not the fire ye shall make go through the water.

²⁴And ye shall wash your clothes on the seventh day, and ye shall be clean, and afterward ye shall come into the camp.

And that other one "thou shalt not steal"

²⁵And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

Does it really matter what de lard said as the so gods chosen people have turned into a murdering hoard, ignoring god knows how many of de lards commandments in the process.

²⁶Take the sum of the prey that was taken, both of man and of beast, thou, and Eleazar the priest, and the chief fathers of the congregation:

²⁷And divide the prey into two parts; between them that took the war upon them, who went out to battle, and between all the congregation:

²⁸And levy a tribute unto the LORD of the men of war which went out to battle: one soul of five hundred, both of the persons, and of the beeves, and of the asses, and of the sheep:

²⁹Take it of their half, and give it unto Eleazar the priest, for an heave offering of the LORD.

³⁰And of the children of Israel's half, thou shalt take one portion of fifty, of the persons, of the beeves, of the asses, and of the flocks, of all manner of beasts, and give them unto the Levites, which keep the charge of the tabernacle of the LORD.

³¹And Moses and Eleazar the priest did as the LORD commanded Moses.

³²And the booty, being the rest of the prey which the men of war had caught, was six hundred thousand and seventy thousand and five thousand sheep,

³³And threescore and twelve thousand beeves,

³⁴And threescore and one thousand asses,

³⁵And thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him.

32,000 young women and girls, so how many married women were just murdered because they were married ?

³⁶And the half, which was the portion of them that went out to war, was in number three hundred thousand and seven and thirty thousand and five hundred sheep:

³⁷And the LORD'S tribute of the sheep was six hundred and threescore and fifteen.

³⁸And the beeves were thirty and six thousand; of which the LORD'S tribute was threescore and twelve.

³⁹And the asses were thirty thousand and five hundred; of which the LORD'S tribute was threescore and one.

⁴⁰And the persons were sixteen thousand; of which the LORD'S tribute was thirty and two persons.

Does this mean they were sacrificed to de lard ?

Or does it mean they were brought to the priesthood so they wouldn't miss out on the debauchery ?

⁴¹And Moses gave the tribute, which was the LORD'S heave offering, unto Eleazar the priest, as the LORD commanded Moses.

⁴²And of the children of Israel's half, which Moses divided from the men that warred,

⁴³(Now the half that pertained unto the congregation was three hundred thousand and thirty thousand and seven thousand and five hundred sheep,

⁴⁴And thirty and six thousand beeves,

⁴⁵And thirty thousand asses and five hundred,

⁴⁶And sixteen thousand persons;)

⁴⁷Even of the children of Israel's half, Moses took one portion of fifty, both of man and of beast, and gave them unto the Levites, which kept the charge of the tabernacle of the LORD; as the LORD commanded Moses.

⁴⁸And the officers which were over thousands of the host, the captains of thousands, and captains of hundreds, came near unto Moses:

⁴⁹And they said unto Moses, Thy servants have taken the sum of the men of war which are under our charge, and there lacketh not one man of us.

⁵⁰We have therefore brought an oblation for the LORD, what every man hath gotten, of jewels of gold, chains, and bracelets, rings, earrings, and tablets, to make an atonement for our souls before the LORD.

⁵¹And Moses and Eleazar the priest took the gold of them, even all wrought jewels.

⁵²And all the gold of the offering that they offered up to the LORD, of the captains of thousands, and of the captains of hundreds, was sixteen thousand seven hundred and fifty shekels.

⁵³(For the men of war had taken spoil, every man for himself.)

⁵⁴And Moses and Eleazar the priest took the gold of the captains of thousands and of hundreds, and brought it into the tabernacle of the congregation, for a memorial for the children of Israel before the LORD.

I am in no way justifying the persecution of the jews that has happened in the last 2,000 -3,0000 or so years but it does make me wonder whether there is any truth in Karma.

Genesis34

Genesis 34

¹And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.
Or at least thats what she told her family.
²And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her.
But....But .... he can't do that !

I mean that their.........

..............their not family.

³And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.
Not sure but something suggests we are talking about consensual sex not rape.
⁴And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife.
⁵And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter: now his sons were with his cattle in the field: and Jacob held his peace until they were come.
I must be reading that wrong.
⁶And Hamor the father of Shechem went out unto Jacob to commune with him.
⁷And the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it: and the men were grieved, and they were very wroth, because he had wrought folly in Israel in lying with Jacob's daughter: which thing ought not to be done.
Unless they're cousins.
⁸And Hamor communed with them, saying, The soul of my son Shechem longeth for your daughter: I pray you give her him to wife.
⁹And make ye marriages with us, and give your daughters unto us, and take our daughters unto you.
¹⁰And ye shall dwell with us: and the land shall be before you; dwell and trade ye therein, and get you possessions therein.
¹¹And Shechem said unto her father and unto her brethren, Let me find grace in your eyes, and what ye shall say unto me I will give.
¹²Ask me never so much dowry and gift, and I will give according as ye shall say unto me: but give me the damsel to wife.
¹³And the sons of Jacob answered Shechem and Hamor his father deceitfully, and said, because he had defiled Dinah their sister:
And of course because it was their nature to be lying, cheating bastards.
¹⁴And they said unto them, We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one that is uncircumcised; for that were a reproach unto us:
¹⁵But in this will we consent unto you: If ye will be as we be, that every male of you be circumcised;
¹⁶Then will we give our daughters unto you, and we will take your daughters to us, and we will dwell with you, and we will become one people.
¹⁷But if ye will not hearken unto us, to be circumcised; then will we take our daughter, and we will be gone.
¹⁸And their words pleased Hamor, and Shechem Hamor's son.
¹⁹And the young man deferred not to do the thing, because he had delight in Jacob's daughter: and he was more honourable than all the house of his father.
He can be as honourable as he likes but you can bet Jacob has more than an elbow up his sleeve.
²⁰And Hamor and Shechem his son came unto the gate of their city, and communed with the men of their city, saying,
²¹These men are peaceable with us; therefore let them dwell in the land, and trade therein; for the land, behold, it is large enough for them; let us take their daughters to us for wives, and let us give them our daughters.
Knowing what the women of this family look like I gather the fashion for veils has taken off.
²²Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised.
Perhaps this is really what the phrase "leave a tip " really means.
²³Shall not their cattle and their substance and every beast of their's be our's? only let us consent unto them, and they will dwell with us.
²⁴And unto Hamor and unto Shechem his son hearkened all that went out of the gate of his city; and every male was circumcised, all that went out of the gate of his city.
²⁵And it came to pass on the third day, when they were sore, that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brethren, took each man his sword, and came upon the city boldly, and slew all the males.

²⁶And they slew Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem's house, and went out.
²⁷The sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and spoiled the city, because they had defiled their sister.
Dirty bastards. Snuff sex now and yet sadly no video. So no money to be made there.
²⁸They took their sheep, and their oxen, and their asses, and that which was in the city, and that which was in the field,
Aside from the looting and pillaging of course.
²⁹And all their wealth, and all their little ones, and their wives took they captive, and spoiled even all that was in the house.
And you think you have problem neighbours.
³⁰And Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, Ye have troubled me to make me to stink among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites: and I being few in number, they shall gather themselves together against me, and slay me; and I shall be destroyed, I and my house.
But has not two of this "few in number" just wiped out the adult male population of a whole city ?
³¹And they said, Should he deal with our sister as with an harlot?
Did anyone mention payment ?