Leviticus 20

¹And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²Again, thou shalt say to the children of Israel, Whosoever he be of the children of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn in Israel, that giveth any of his seed unto Molech; he shall surely be put to death: the people of the land shall stone him with stones.

Molech has been portrayed as an old horned man,a bull and an owl.

³And I will set my face against that man, and will cut him off from among his people; because he hath given of his seed unto Molech, to defile my sanctuary, and to profane my holy name.

⁴And if the people of the land do any ways hide their eyes from the man, when he giveth of his seed unto Molech, and kill him not:

this informative but paranoid video.

The link will also offer more even paranoid videos on the subject

⁵Then I will set my face against that man, and against his family, and will cut him off, and all that go a whoring after him, to commit whoredom with Molech, from among their people.

I am struck with the similarities between the names Molech and Melek. For any of you who have not been reading from the beginning Melek Ta'us is the Peacock Angel.

⁶And the soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people.

⁷Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy: for I am the LORD your God.

I have some socks that are holy are they sanctified ?

⁸And ye shall keep my statutes, and do them: I am the LORD which sanctify you.

⁹For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.

This one always makes me laugh, I would have thought it's an impossibillity for anyone to make it through their teenage years without cursing their parents.

¹⁰And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

¹¹And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

These two seem to be from someone who feels totally sexually inadequate.

¹²And if a man lie with his daughter in law, both of them shall surely be put to death: they have wrought confusion; their blood shall be upon them.

¹³If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Again consult dear old Bruce for more on this

¹⁴And if a man take a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burnt with fire, both he and they; that there be no wickedness among you.

¹⁵And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast.

As previously stated this now means Moses has taken over the role of god from Jethro. As we saw in Lev 16 Jethro in his role of god fucked a goat.

¹⁶And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

From the way women are treated I doubt many of them actually enjoyed sexual congress with their husbands or anyone else for that matter. I sincerely doubt any of them would go out of their way to dabble with a donkey, this is another law I think comes from feelings of sexual inadequacy. Yes I know it happens now, but I really don't think many if any do it from their own volition.

¹⁷And if a man shall take his sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it is a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister's nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.

¹⁸And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

¹⁹And thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister, nor of thy father's sister: for he uncovereth his near kin: they shall bear their iniquity.

²⁰And if a man shall lie with his uncle's wife, he hath uncovered his uncle's nakedness: they shall bear their sin; they shall die childless.

²¹And if a man shall take his brother's wife, it is an unclean thing: he hath uncovered his brother's nakedness; they shall be childless.

Was Onan not made to marry and lay with his brothers wife ?......Gen 38:⁸And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.Not to mention Abraham sending his boys to get wives from thier uncle.

²²Ye shall therefore keep all my statutes, and all my judgments, and do them: that the land, whither I bring you to dwell therein, spue you not out.

²³And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them.

²⁴But I have said unto you, Ye shall inherit their land, and I will give it unto you to possess it, a land that floweth with milk and honey: I am the LORD your God, which have separated you from other people.

This verse alone shows how ineffectual and impotent thier god is. Here we are over 3,ooo years later and the israelites are still fighting to get thier claim to this land accepted by the people they have been trying to take it from for all those years. Until it ceases to be fought over, it will never really be theirs.

²⁵Ye shall therefore put difference between clean beasts and unclean, and between unclean fowls and clean: and ye shall not make your souls abominable by beast, or by fowl, or by any manner of living thing that creepeth on the ground, which I have separated from you as unclean.

²⁶And ye shall be holy unto me: for I the LORD am holy, and have severed you from other people, that ye should be mine.

²⁷A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them.

Is it me or does that last verse seem tacked on ?

Genesis 28

Genesis 28

¹And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, -
Blessed him! Blessed him ? After the con job he's just done on his father and brother.
- , Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.
²Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughers of Laban thy mother's brother.
I dunno they must be falling a bit far from the tree now or are Canaanite women just downright ugly or perhaps as is more like, the Canaanites are a bit more picky on who they will marry. Given the reputation of Abraham's family I wouldn't want my daughters anywhere near them.
Is Padanaram ancient Hebrew for Royston Vasey ?
³And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people;
You can cut off the extra toes as necessary, try and ignore the gills, and the tendancy for the red colour on their necks.
⁴And give thee the blessing of Abraham, to thee, and to thy seed with thee; that thou mayest inherit the land wherein thou art a stranger, which God gave unto Abraham.
⁵And Isaac sent away Jacob: and he went to Padanaram unto Laban, son of Bethuel the Syrian, the brother of Rebekah, Jacob's and Esau's mother.
⁶When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob, and sent him away to Padanaram, to take him a wife from thence; and that as he blessed him he gave him a charge, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan;
⁷And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Padanaram;
⁸And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father;
⁹Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.

¹⁰And Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward Haran.
¹¹And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep.
¹²And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it.

So much has been made of this dream, but that's all it was . A dream.

Picture this, A young boy asking questions about the "big city" .It being described to the boy and he is told about a big tower with steps reaching up to heaven, which "angels" use. Some years later that same boy is headed toward the city and in his slumber his dreams build a distorted but glorious "vision" of that scene. Who has not done a similar thing when excited about a forthcoming event ?
Especially when you know you are going to get laid at the end of it.....
......With something other than a goat.

¹³And, behold, the LORD stood above it, and said, I am the LORD God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac: the land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed;
¹⁴And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed.
¹⁵And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.
¹⁶And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not.

This family sure does have a problem separating fantasy and fact.

¹⁷And he was afraid, and said, How dreadful is this place! this is none other but the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.
¹⁸And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.

Umm ?

¹⁹And he called the name of that place Bethel: but the name of that city was called Luz at the first.

Was it not called Bethel when Abram left for Egypt the first time ?

²⁰And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on,
²¹So that I come again to my father's house in peace; then shall the LORD be my God:
²²And this stone, which I have set for a pillar, shall be God's house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee.

How do you think Jacob would do here ?

Genesis 17

Genesis 17

¹And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect.

Gods still not got the idea of omniprescience yet has he ?

²And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly.

³And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying,

Uneven ground plus 99 year old man = Old man flat on his face. I could see it coming why couldn't god ?

⁴As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations.

⁵Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee.

⁶And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee.

Is it just me but surely poor old Abram could have done with this when he was a tad younger ? About 80 years younger

⁷And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.

Ah! Now I see he waited till Abram was good and senile so he would just do as he was told and forget about it afterwards. Is "Abraham ancient Hebrew" for Alzheimers by any chance.

⁸And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.

Or else he will get biblical on their arses.

⁹And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.

Repeat threat.

¹⁰This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.

And all it will cost you is the tip of your willie, oh and your dignity.

¹¹And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.

¹²And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.

Slavery eh ! A token of a kind and loving god who sees equality in all his children.

¹³He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.

¹⁴And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.

Whether or not he was on speaking terms with anyone from Abraham's family or household.

¹⁵And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.

¹⁶And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.

Just what a 90 year old woman would want. Besides wouldn't a birthing child be in danger of contracting a lung disease? All that dust and cobwebs.

¹⁷Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?

¹⁸And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee!

¹⁹And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.

²⁰And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation.

²¹But my covenant will I establish with Isaac, which Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year.

²²And he left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham.

Or on the other hand the poor old sod regained conciousness

²³And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham's house; and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him.

And no one managed to say what?

²⁴And Abraham was ninety years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.

His just snapped off.

²⁵And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.

²⁶In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son.

²⁷And all the men of his house, born in the house, and bought with money of the stranger, were circumcised with him.
I am confused was not Ham cursed for seeing his daddies winkie ? So therefore were the circumcisions done blindfolded ?
Couple of questions or maybe just a ramble.
Hagar, Ishmaels mother was Egyptian, The oldest documented evidence for circumcision is from Egypts 6th dynasty(B.C.E2345 - 2181) Was Abram just following the wishes of "his" childs mother ?

Genesis16

¹Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
²And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
So Sarai is now a madame.
³And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.
Hang on hang on ! Stop right there ! Ten years ? He was 75 when they left Ur.Time spent in Egypt, going to Canaan,Building a house,managing to acquire at least 160 prostitutes who then give birth to at least 318 boys,raising them to manhood and training them to a higher standard of fighting than the average soldier. I smell bullshit !
⁴And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.
Because Sarai knew it wouldn't have been Abram's limp dick that did it.
⁵And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.
⁶But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thine hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.
What a lovely couple.
⁷And the angel of the LORD found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.
⁸And he said, Hagar, Sarai's maid, whence camest thou? and whither wilt thou go? And she said, I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai.
⁹And the angel of the LORD said unto her, Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands.
There's the voice of a loving God again.
¹⁰And the angel of the LORD said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.
¹¹And the angel of the LORD said unto her, Behold, thou art with child and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the LORD hath heard thy affliction.
¹²And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.
¹³And she called the name of the LORD that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?
His eyesight must be improving, I wonder if he still needs to shave his palms ? ¹⁴Wherefore the well was called Beerlahairoi; behold, it is between Kadesh and Bered.
¹⁵And Hagar bare Abram a son: and Abram called his son's name, which Hagar bare, Ishmael. ¹⁶And Abram was fourscore and six years old, when Hagar bare Ishmael to Abram.

Genesis 15

Genesis 15

¹After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.
Another word for vision is hallucination. Out in the sun too long ?
²And Abram said, LORD God, what wilt thou give me, seeing I go childless, and the steward of my house is this Eliezer of Damascus?
³And Abram said, Behold, to me thou hast given no seed: and, lo, one born in my house is mine heir.
Still worrying about his impotence.
⁴And, behold, the word of the LORD came unto him, saying, This shall not be thine heir; but he that shall come forth out of thine own bowels shall be thine heir.
Not sure how to read that does it mean...

• A gay lover will be his heir ?
• Abram will give birth ?
• His heir will be shit ?
  

⁵And he brought him forth abroad, and said, Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So shall thy seed be.
⁶And he believed in the LORD; and he counted it to him for righteousness.
⁷And he said unto him, I am the LORD that brought thee out of Ur of the Chaldees, to give thee this land to inherit it.
⁸And he said, LORD God, whereby shall I know that I shall inherit it?
⁹And he said unto him, Take me an heifer of three years old, and a she goat of three years old, and a ram of three years old, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon.
¹⁰And he took unto him all these, and divided them in the midst, and laid each piece one against another: but the birds divided he not.
¹¹And when the fowls came down upon the carcases, Abram drove them away.
¹²And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him.
Yup, sunstroke.
¹³And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years;
So Abram's hallucination thinks his imaginary descendants are gonna get fucked over. Can you call it a prophecy if it's not recorded till after a coincidental event ?
¹⁴And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance.
¹⁵And thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old age.
That could have meant any time soon he was already a good age.
¹⁶But in the fourth generation they shall come hither again: for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet full.
¹⁷And it came to pass, that, when the sun went down, and it was dark, behold a smoking furnace, and a burning lamp that passed between those pieces.
Hallucinating well. Do magic mushrooms grow in Canaan ?
¹⁸In the same day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, Unto thy seed have I given this land, from the river of Egypt unto the great river, the river Euphrates:
In his dreams. Literally!
¹⁹The Kenites, and the Kenizzites, and the Kadmonites,
²⁰And the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Rephaims,
²¹And the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Girgashites, and the Jebusites.

Genesis 14

Genesis 14

¹And it came to pass in the days of Amraphel king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of nations;
²That these made war with Bera king of Sodom, and with Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, and Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, which is Zoar.
So here we have the first instance of probable real history that has a possibility of verification. I say possibity because at this point in time no corroborative texts have been translated. The identity of these cities is also not confirmed but there are some likely candidates.and here
³All these were joined together in the vale of Siddim, which is the salt sea.
⁴Twelve years they served Chedorlaomer, and in the thirteenth year they rebelled.
⁵And in the fourteenth year came Chedorlaomer, and the kings that were with him, and smote the Rephaims in Ashteroth Karnaim, and the Zuzims in Ham, and the Emins in Shaveh Kiriathaim,
⁶And the Horites in their mount Seir, unto Elparan, which is by the wilderness.
⁷And they returned, and came to Enmishpat, which is Kadesh, and smote all the country of the Amalekites, and also the Amorites, that dwelt in Hazezontamar.
We also don't have a time frame for this, apart from the bible suggests it is around 1,000-1,200 years after the flood. To me this implies an awful lot of people in a relatively short time, especially as we know that whatever period in history this happened people were living in most places they live today.
⁸And there went out the king of Sodom, and the king of Gomorrah, and the king of Admah, and the king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela (the same is Zoar;) and they joined battle with them in the vale of Siddim;
⁹With Chedorlaomer the king of Elam, and with Tidal king of nations, and Amraphel king of Shinar, and Arioch king of Ellasar; four kings with five.
¹⁰And the vale of Siddim was full of slimepits; and the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, and fell there; and they that remained fled to the mountain.
Slimepits.... Says alot when you realise this is the first thing in the bible that can be 100% verified. Slimepits are a source of bitumen utilised as morter for building and waterproofing for roofs and boats.
¹¹And they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah, and all their victuals, and went their way.
¹²And they took Lot, Abram's brother's son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed.
¹³And there came one that had escaped, and told Abram the Hebrew; for he dwelt in the plain of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol, and brother of Aner: and these were confederate with Abram.
¹⁴And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued them unto Dan.
Nitpicking I know but if the narrative can't get these small facts right how can we have faith in the whole picture ?
Where did this huge house come from ? The last time accommodation was mentioned he was living in a tent. 318 trained servants he must have done some serious pimping, OK if he had at least 160 Ho's and they all gave birth to male twins he could have 318 trained servants and still be under a hundred years old..If my imagination has to stretch much further to fit it all into this mans life my mind will have a hernia.
¹⁵And he divided himself against them, he and his servants, by night, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is on the left hand of Damascus.
Now he's a ninja.
¹⁶And he brought back all the goods, and also brought again his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also, and the people.
Note how its Lot,and his goods and oh nearly forgot the women also and the people.As long as lots goods were safe hey.
¹⁷And the king of Sodom went out to meet him after his return from the slaughter of Chedorlaomer, and of the kings that were with him, at the valley of Shaveh, which is the king's dale.
¹⁸And Melchizedek king of Salem brought forth bread and wine: and he was the priest of the most high God.
¹⁹And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth:
²⁰And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand. And he gave him tithes of all.
²¹And the king of Sodom said unto Abram, Give me the persons, and take the goods to thyself.
²²And Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have lift up mine hand unto the LORD, the most high God, the possessor of heaven and earth,
²³That I will not take from a thread even to a shoelatchet, and that I will not take any thing that is thine, lest thou shouldest say, I have made Abram rich:
²⁴Save only that which the young men have eaten, and the portion of the men which went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre; let them take their portion.
So let me get this right Lot and others get taken prisoner his Uncle now brother a herdsman and pimp. Given the information here must have been fast approaching 100 years of age, with a few friends and a previously unmentioned private army is able to succeed in overcome a hostile force and secure the release of aforesaid prisoners where the amassed armies of five cities were unable to do so. He then refuses a just and earned reward . Right that's it I am off to get a truss for my head.

Genesis 13

Genesis 13

¹And Abram went up out of Egypt, he, and his wife, and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the south.
He must have taken the long way round Bethel is in the west bank as it is north east of Egypt.
²And Abram was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold.
Pimpin his ho to pharoah really paid well.
³And he went on his journeys from the south even to Bethel, unto the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Hai;
He must have his map the right way up now wonder how far he got heading south before he realised his mistake.
⁴Unto the place of the altar, which he had make there at the first: and there Abram called on the name of the LORD.
⁵And Lot also, which went with Abram, had flocks, and herds, and tents.
⁶And the land was not able to bear them, that they might dwell together: for their substance was great, so that they could not dwell together.
⁷And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land.
⁸And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren.
⁹Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.
¹⁰And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.
¹¹Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated themselves the one from the other.
¹²Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.
¹³But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.
I am of the opinion that people are people the world over I don't understand how a whole world or in this case a whole city can be branded as sinful. I also fail to understand how any of the early city states were much different than any of the others. They were all ruled either by their own king or an emporor/king of kings.
¹⁴And the LORD said unto Abram, after that Lot was separated from him, Lift up now thine eyes, and look from the place where thou art northward, and southward, and eastward, and westward:
¹⁵For all the land which thou seest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed for ever.
¹⁶And I will make thy seed as the dust of the earth: so that if a man can number the dust of the earth, then shall thy seed also be numbered.
¹⁷Arise, walk through the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it; for I will give it unto thee.
Yeah Lot will buy that I mean who wouldn't, after all Abram has never shown himself to be untrustworthy. ¹⁸Then Abram removed his tent, and came and dwelt in the plain of Mamre, which is in Hebron, and built there an altar unto the LORD.

Genesis 12

Genesis 12

¹Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee:
So the last person God spoke to in person was Noah since then (over 1,000 years) he waits until Abram has with his parents trekked across to Haran get settled and tells him to move again. Leave yet another City they have been involved in building. Its not as if they could just call Pickfords and shoot over to this other land.
²And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing:
³And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.
Now God seems to think he is a Cheerleader.
⁴So Abram departed, as the LORD had spoken unto him; and Lot went with him: and Abram was seventy and five years old when he departed out of Haran.
⁵And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had gotten in Haran; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan; and into the land of Canaan they came.
⁶And Abram passed through the land unto the place of Sichem, unto the plain of Moreh. And the Canaanite was then in the land.
⁷And the LORD appeared unto Abram, and said, Unto thy seed will I give this land: and there builded he an altar unto the LORD, who appeared unto him.
So this 75 year old man has been told to up roots trek over the complete length of modern Syria with a wife not much younger.
⁸And he removed from thence unto a mountain on the east of Bethel, and pitched his tent, having Bethel on the west, and Hai on the east: and there he builded an altar unto the LORD, and called upon the name of the LORD.
⁹And Abram journeyed, going on still toward the south.
¹⁰And there was a famine in the land: and Abram went down into Egypt to sojourn there; for the famine was grievous in the land.
Sureley if God told him where to go and he had been that impressed or frightened of De Lawd that he was willing to walk over 500 miles (cue the proclaimers)over hot arid terrain .

1.On arrival Abram would have stayed put.

2.God would have wished him to be comfortable.

¹¹And it came to pass, when he was come near to enter into Egypt, that he said unto Sarai his wife, Behold now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon:
Are we now expected to believe Sarai is much younger than Abram I have always been taught she was in her sixties.
¹²Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife: and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive.
Ah! I see it's not Sarai that's barren, it's Abram that can't get it up because he has no balls.
¹³Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee.
¹⁴And it came to pass, that, when Abram was come into Egypt, the Egyptians beheld the woman that she was very fair.
¹⁵The princes also of Pharaoh saw her, and commended her before Pharaoh: and the woman was taken into Pharaoh's house.
¹⁶And he entreated Abram well for her sake: and he had sheep, and oxen, and he asses, and menservants, and maidservants, and she asses, and camels.
So Abram whored his wife out, after dragging her all that way. Nice man!
¹⁷And the LORD plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai Abram's wife.
Would it not have been easier and nicer to have ensured that the original destination was not in famine ?
¹⁸And Pharaoh called Abram and said, What is this that thou hast done unto me? why didst thou not tell me that she was thy wife?
Because he was a spineless turd and Pharoah was paying well for her services.
¹⁹Why saidst thou, She is my sister? so I might have taken her to me to wife: now therefore behold thy wife, take her, and go thy way.
²⁰And Pharaoh commanded his men concerning him: and they sent him away, and his wife, and all that he had.

Now correct me if I am wrong but I get the distinct impression that this God either coudn,t organise a piss up at a brewery or he is just a sadistic monster, and the great Abram father of the Jewish nation is just a weak willed, impotent abusive and sad little man.

genesis 11

So we skip back in time and rejoin Noah's offspring with extended ages
¹And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.²And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there
Shinar being the historic Sumer now northen Iraq.
³And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.
⁴And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.
These ancient people were incredible one family built a boat to contain specimens of all the earths animals for about six months. With the knowledge to adequately ventilate,feed and water said animals and manage the sewage output. Something we would struggle with today, and yet they are building a tower and expect to hit the roof of the world.
⁵And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.
⁶And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
⁷Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.
There's that US again.
⁸So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.
⁹Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.
This seems an odd thing to do if he didn't like it why not just wish it out of existence or just say c'mon peeps doin' that fucks me off, don't do it.
Shit if they was my kids I would just be proud.Wouldn't he have learnt by now man will just discover more to learn about his new enviroment. I suppose it's a bit too much to expect a figment of your imagination too learn by its mistakes?
¹⁰These are the generations of Shem: Shem was an hundred years old, and begat Arphaxad two years after the flood:¹¹And Shem lived after he begat Arphaxad five hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.¹²And Arphaxad lived five and thirty years, and begat Salah:¹³And Arphaxad lived after he begat Salah four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.¹⁴And Salah lived thirty years, and begat Eber:¹⁵And Salah lived after he begat Eber four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.¹⁶And Eber lived four and thirty years, and begat Peleg:¹⁷And Eber lived after he begat Peleg four hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters.¹⁸And Peleg lived thirty years, and begat Reu:¹⁹And Peleg lived after he begat Reu two hundred and nine years, and begat sons and daughters.²⁰And Reu lived two and thirty years, and begat Serug:²¹And Reu lived after he begat Serug two hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters.²²And Serug lived thirty years, and begat Nahor:²³And Serug lived after he begat Nahor two hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.²⁴And Nahor lived nine and twenty years, and begat Terah:²⁵And Nahor lived after he begat Terah an hundred and nineteen years, and begat sons and daughters.²⁶And Terah lived seventy years, and begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran.
Again with the long list of generations but amazingly now inclusive of women.
²⁷Now these are the generations of Terah: Terah begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran begat Lot.²⁸And Haran died before his father Terah in the land of his nativity, in Ur of the Chaldees.²⁹And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah.³⁰But Sarai was barren; she had no child.³¹And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran his son's son, and Sarai his daughter in law, his son Abram's wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there. ³²And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years: and Terah died in Haran.