Genesis 36

Genesis 36

¹Now these are the generations of Esau, who is Edom.

Not another list of non-entities we have enough trouble verifying the main characters in any historical context I see these other people as inconsequential fillers.

²Esau took his wives of the daughters of Canaan; Adah the daughter of Elon the Hittite, and Aholibamah the daughter of Anah the daughter of Zibeon the Hivite;

³And Bashemath Ishmael's daughter, sister of Nebajoth.

⁴And Adah bare to Esau Eliphaz; and Bashemath bare Reuel;

⁵And Aholibamah bare Jeush, and Jaalam, and Korah: these are the sons of Esau, which were born unto him in the land of Canaan.
⁶And Esau took his wives, and his sons, and his daughters, and all the persons of his house, and his cattle, and all his beasts, and all his substance, which he had got in the land of Canaan; and went into the country from the face of his brother Jacob.

There has to be more going on here. Esau moves out from his father's land, where he has been settled for the last 20 years. I can understand him not wanting to live around Jacob and I understand the too many cattle for the land, but Esau has so many reasons for wanting to fuck his brother over and yet he ups and leaves without so much as a few choice words ?

⁷For their riches were more than that they might dwell together; and the land wherein they were strangers could not bear them because of their cattle.
⁸Thus dwelt Esau in mount Seir: Esau is Edom.
⁹And these are the generations of Esau the father of the Edomites in mount Seir:
¹⁰These are the names of Esau's sons; Eliphaz the son of Adah the wife of Esau, Reuel the son of Bashemath the wife of Esau.
¹¹And the sons of Eliphaz were Teman, Omar, Zepho, and Gatam, and Kenaz.
¹²And Timna was concubine to Eliphaz Esau's son; and she bare to Eliphaz Amalek: these were the sons of Adah Esau's wife.
¹³And these are the sons of Reuel; Nahath, and Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah: these were the sons of Bashemath Esau's wife.
¹⁴And these were the sons of Aholibamah, the daughter of Anah the daughter of Zibeon, Esau's wife: and she bare to Esau Jeush, and Jaalam, and Korah.
¹⁵These were dukes of the sons of Esau: the sons of Eliphaz the firstborn son of Esau; duke Teman, duke Omar, duke Zepho, duke Kenaz,
¹⁶Duke Korah, duke Gatam, and duke Amalek: these are the dukes that came of Eliphaz in the land of Edom; these were the sons of Adah.
¹⁷And these are the sons of Reuel Esau's son; duke Nahath, duke Zerah, duke Shammah, duke Mizzah: these are the dukes that came of Reuel in the land of Edom; these are the sons of Bashemath Esau's wife.
¹⁸And these are the sons of Aholibamah Esau's wife; duke Jeush, duke Jaalam, duke Korah: these were the dukes that came of Aholibamah the daughter of Anah, Esau's wife.
¹⁹These are the sons of Esau, who is Edom, and these are their dukes.
²⁰These are the sons of Seir the Horite, who inhabited the land; Lotan, and Shobal, and Zibeon, and Anah,
²¹And Dishon, and Ezer, and Dishan: these are the dukes of the Horites, the children of Seir in the land of Edom.
²²And the children of Lotan were Hori and Hemam; and Lotan's sister was Timna.
²³And the children of Shobal were these; Alvan, and Manahath, and Ebal, Shepho, and Onam.
²⁴And these are the children of Zibeon; both Ajah, and Anah: this was that Anah that found the mules in the wilderness, as he fed the asses of Zibeon his father.
²⁵And the children of Anah were these; Dishon, and Aholibamah the daughter of Anah.
²⁶And these are the children of Dishon; Hemdan, and Eshban, and Ithran, and Cheran.
²⁷The children of Ezer are these; Bilhan, and Zaavan, and Akan.
²⁸The children of Dishan are these; Uz, and Aran.

Perhaps that is the point.When the scribes were first putting these tales down on clay tablets/papyrus or whatever even they realised that they had left the realms of probability so only an inbred goat molester would believe it and then only if he had gone several decades with no human contact, so the scribes decided to bore you into submission. A kind of literary hypnosis.
²⁹These are the dukes that came of the Horites; duke Lotan, duke Shobal, duke Zibeon, duke Anah,
³⁰Duke Dishon, duke Ezer, duke Dishan: these are the dukes that came of Hori, among their dukes in the land of Seir.
³¹And these are the kings that reigned in the land of Edom, before there reigned any king over the children of Israel.
³²And Bela the son of Beor reigned in Edom: and the name of his city was Dinhabah.
³³And Bela died, and Jobab the son of Zerah of Bozrah reigned in his stead.
³⁴And Jobab died, and Husham of the land of Temani reigned in his stead.
³⁵And Husham died, and Hadad the son of Bedad, who smote Midian in the field of Moab, reigned in his stead: and the name of his city was Avith.
³⁶And Hadad died, and Samlah of Masrekah reigned in his stead.
³⁷And Samlah died, and Saul of Rehoboth by the river reigned in his stead.
³⁸And Saul died, and Baalhanan the son of Achbor reigned in his stead.
³⁹And Baalhanan the son of Achbor died, and Hadar reigned in his stead: and the name of his city was Pau; and his wife's name was Mehetabel, the daughter of Matred, the daughter of Mezahab.
⁴⁰And these are the names of the dukes that came of Esau, according to their families, after their places, by their names; duke Timnah, duke Alvah, duke Jetheth,
⁴¹Duke Aholibamah, duke Elah, duke Pinon,
⁴²Duke Kenaz, duke Teman, duke Mibzar,
⁴³Duke Magdiel, duke Iram: these be the dukes of Edom, according to their habitations in the land of their possession: he is Esau the father of the Edomites.
All those Dukes and no mention of Uncle Jesse, Bo, Luke and how could anyone not mention Daisy.

Genesis 33

Genesis 33

¹And Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, Esau came, and with him four hundred men. And he divided the children unto Leah, and unto Rachel, and unto the two handmaids.
²And he put the handmaids and their children foremost, and Leah and her children after, and Rachel and Joseph hindermost.
With bravery like this you'd have thought he was french.
³And he passed over before them, and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.
Duck and cover ?
⁴And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept.
Kiss and make up girls, just watch out for that knife coming at your backs.
Has he washed or is he snogging his brother with dried god cum in his beard ?
⁵And he lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children; and said, Who are those with thee? And he said, The children which God hath graciously given thy servant.
⁶Then the handmaidens came near, they and their children, and they bowed themselves.
⁷And Leah also with her children came near, and bowed themselves: and after came Joseph near and Rachel, and they bowed themselves.
⁸And he said, What meanest thou by all this drove which I met? And he said, These are to find grace in the sight of my lord.
⁹And Esau said, I have enough, my brother; keep that thou hast unto thyself.
Whose son is he ? He's not come from Abrams line for sure.
¹⁰And Jacob said, Nay, I pray thee, if now I have found grace in thy sight, then receive my present at my hand: for therefore I have seen thy face, as though I had seen the face of God, and thou wast pleased with me.
¹¹Take, I pray thee, my blessing that is brought to thee; because God hath dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough. And he urged him, and he took it.
All night long......cue Rainbow.
¹²And he said, Let us take our journey, and let us go, and I will go before thee.
¹³And he said unto him, My lord knoweth that the children are tender, and the flocks and herds with young are with me: and if men should overdrive them one day, all the flock will die.
Are we getting into cannibalism now?
¹⁴Let my lord, I pray thee, pass over before his servant: and I will lead on softly, according as the cattle that goeth before me and the children be able to endure, until I come unto my lord unto Seir.
¹⁵And Esau said, Let me now leave with thee some of the folk that are with me. And he said, What needeth it? let me find grace in the sight of my lord.
I thought Noah got that damn dog out of gods eye?
¹⁶So Esau returned that day on his way unto Seir.
And Jacob showing trust in his brother fucks off to a different place. Going against god,s orders, perhaps the sex wasn't that good after all.
¹⁷And Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built him an house, and made booths for his cattle: therefore the name of the place is called Succoth.
¹⁸And Jacob came to Shalem, a city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, when he came from Padanaram; and pitched his tent before the city.
Only a true grandson of Abram would do that, build himself a house then go and live in a tent outside a city.
¹⁹And he bought a parcel of a field, where he had spread his tent, at the hand of the children of Hamor, Shechem's father, for an hundred pieces of money.
²⁰And he erected there an altar, and called it EleloheIsrael.
Erected yet another Lingam

Genesis 32

Genesis 32

¹And Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him.
²And when Jacob saw them, he said, This is God's host: and he called the name of that place Mahanaim.
³And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother unto the land of Seir, the country of Edom.

⁴And he commanded them, saying, Thus shall ye speak unto my lord Esau; Thy servant Jacob saith thus, I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed there until now:
Are these "messengers/angels of god the winged ones fluttering down from heaven with divine campness or are they messengers from the king or Esau ?
⁵And I have oxen, and asses, flocks, and menservants, and womenservants: and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find grace in thy sight.
⁶And the messengers returned to Jacob, saying, We came to thy brother Esau, and also he cometh to meet thee, and four hundred men with him.
⁷Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed: and he divided the people that was with him, and the flocks, and herds, and the camels, into two bands;
That's showing faith in the almighty , the one that is all knowing all seeing all powerful that has gone on record as having a covenant to guarantee a good life etc.
One thing I have noticed the god here doesn't promise this mythical afterlife we get told about as the collection plate is getting handed round today. Has god changed his mind or is somebody taxing the gullible ?
⁸And said, If Esau come to the one company, and smite it, then the other company which is left shall escape.
⁹And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, the LORD which saidst unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will deal well with thee:
¹⁰I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant; for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands.
Deep Purple and Whitesnake.
¹¹Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he will come and smite me, and the mother with the children.
Again he seem's to be more afraid of Esau than the fear demanding deity.
¹²And thou saidst, I will surely do thee good, and make thy seed as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.
Yup ! He's shitting a brick.
¹³And he lodged there that same night; and took of that which came to his hand a present for Esau his brother;
¹⁴Two hundred she goats, and twenty he goats, two hundred ewes, and twenty rams,
¹⁵Thirty milch camels with their colts, forty kine, and ten bulls, twenty she asses, and ten foals.
I don't get how this works.
Jacob is gonna give Easau some of his shit hoping Esau won't kill him and take all of his shit. Knowing full well that Esau probably has not only not forgiven him for stealing his father's blessing but stewed about it for the last twenty years. So even if they do kiss and make up.......
¹⁶And he delivered them into the hand of his servants, every drove by themselves; and said unto his servants, Pass over before me, and put a space betwixt drove and drove.
¹⁷And he commanded the foremost, saying, When Esau my brother meeteth thee, and asketh thee, saying, Whose art thou? and whither goest thou? and whose are these before thee?
¹⁸Then thou shalt say, They be thy servant Jacob's; it is a present sent unto my lord Esau: and, behold, also he is behind us.
Where else would you expect a double dealing coward to be ?
¹⁹And so commanded he the second, and the third, and all that followed the droves, saying, On this manner shall ye speak unto Esau, when ye find him.
²⁰And say ye moreover, Behold, thy servant Jacob is behind us. For he said, I will appease him with the present that goeth before me, and afterward I will see his face; peradventure he will accept of me.
²¹So went the present over before him: and himself lodged that night in the company.
²²And he rose up that night, and took his two wives, and his two womenservants, and his eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok.
ford Jabbok is that some kind of camel powered coupe.
²³And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over that he had.
²⁴And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
²⁵And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.
That's gotta be some real rough sex.
²⁶And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.

So the all knowing almighty arsehole asks

²⁷And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob.
So tell me again what is wrong with same sex relationships, because theres only one reason that two guys are going to wrestle all night, and it aint for the love of god.Unless god is well oiled and has a hard on the size of Massachusetts. (Will the Bee Gees ever sound the same?)
²⁸And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.

Which I have on good authority means ..........

.........swings both ways.

²⁹And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there.
³⁰And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.
³¹And as he passed over Peniel the sun rose upon him, and he halted upon his thigh.
Peniel ?
³²Therefore the children of Israel eat not of the sinew which shrank, which is upon the hollow of the thigh, unto this day: because he touched the hollow of Jacob's thigh in the sinew that shrank.
Peniel ? Certainly that's the only "sinew" I know of that shrinks after use.
Yup, No gay sex, not now not ever.........
So why do I see it actively encouraged ?

Genesis 27

Genesis 27

¹And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I.
²And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death:
Like it's gonna be on a post it stuck to the fridge.
³Now therefore take, I pray thee, thy weapons, thy quiver and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison;
⁴And make me savoury meat, such as I love, and bring it to me, that I may eat; that my soul may bless thee before I die.
How typical of that family can't do anything nice without expecting some thing in return.
⁵And Rebekah heard when Isaac spake to Esau his son. And Esau went to the field to hunt for venison, and to bring it.
⁶And Rebekah spake unto Jacob her son, saying, Behold, I heard thy father speak unto Esau thy brother, saying,
Showing their relationship is closer than master /slave husand /wife almost like they were cousins, oh wait they are.
⁷Bring me venison, and make me savoury meat, that I may eat, and bless thee before the LORD before my death.
⁸Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command thee.
⁹Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth:
If I ever get old enough not to be able to tell venison from goat please somebody anybody FUCKIN' SHOOT ME!
¹⁰And thou shalt bring it to thy father, that he may eat, and that he may bless thee before his death.
¹¹And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man:
¹²My father peradventure will feel me, and I shall seem to him as a deceiver; and I shall bring a curse upon me, and not a blessing.
¹³And his mother said unto him, Upon me be thy curse, my son: only obey my voice, and go fetch me them.
¹⁴And he went, and fetched, and brought them to his mother: and his mother made savoury meat, such as his father loved.
¹⁵And Rebekah took goodly raiment of her eldest son Esau, which were with her in the house, and put them upon Jacob her younger son:
¹⁶And she put the skins of the kids of the goats upon his hands, and upon the smooth of his neck:
I know plenty of "hairy men" I have known a couple of people who are blind I have never known anyone who couldn't tell the difference between live people and dead goat, Then again I don't know anyone who couldn't tell goat from venison. Perhaps it's all that inbreeding.( Is "blind faith aggravated by Inbreeding it sure would explain alot.)
¹⁷And she gave the savoury meat and the bread, which she had prepared, into the hand of her son Jacob.
¹⁸And he came unto his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I; who art thou, my son?

And with all the honesty he has learned, guided by exemplary parenting .
¹⁹And Jacob said unto his father, I am Esau thy first born; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me.
²⁰And Isaac said unto his son, How is it that thou hast found it so quickly, my son? And he said, Because the LORD thy God brought it to me.
And with all the trust Isaac learned from his father and passed on to his sons.
²¹And Isaac said unto Jacob, Come near, I pray thee, that I may feel thee, my son, whether thou be my very son Esau or not.
²²And Jacob went near unto Isaac his father; and he felt him, and said, The voice is Jacob's voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.
²³And he discerned him not, because his hands were hairy, as his brother Esau's hands: so he blessed him.
²⁴And he said, Art thou my very son Esau? And he said, I am.
²⁵And he said, Bring it near to me, and I will eat of my son's venison, that my soul may bless thee. And he brought it near to him, and he did eat: and he brought him wine and he drank.
²⁶And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son.
No tongues!
²⁷And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed:
²⁸Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine:
²⁹Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother's sons bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee.
³⁰And it came to pass, as soon as Isaac had made an end of blessing Jacob, and Jacob was yet scarce gone out from the presence of Isaac his father, that Esau his brother came in from his hunting.
³¹And he also had made savoury meat, and brought it unto his father, and said unto his father, Let my father arise, and eat of his son's venison, that thy soul may bless me.
³²And Isaac his father said unto him, Who art thou? And he said, I am thy son, thy firstborn Esau.
³³And Isaac trembled very exceedingly, and said, Who? where is he that hath taken venison, and brought it me, and I have eaten of all before thou camest, and have blessed him? yea, and he shall be blessed.
³⁴And when Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry, and said unto his father, Bless me, even me also, O my father.
³⁵And he said, Thy brother came with subtilty, and hath taken away thy blessing.
And he said those immortal words reiterated by Mr. Creosote in Mony Python's Meaning of Life
Fuck off I'm Full!
³⁶And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. And he said, Hast thou not reserved a blessing for me?
³⁷And Isaac answered and said unto Esau, Behold, I have made him thy lord, and all his brethren have I given to him for servants; and with corn and wine have I sustained him: and what shall I do now unto thee, my son?
Well he could have called Jacob back and told him he was a thieving little shit and for pulling the wool over his father's eyes he would get fuck all, as it was for the elder brother,but Oh no !
³⁸And Esau said unto his father, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? bless me, even me also, O my father. And Esau lifted up his voice, and wept.
³⁹And Isaac his father answered and said unto him, Behold, thy dwelling shall be the fatness of the earth, and of the dew of heaven from above;
⁴⁰And by thy sword shalt thou live, and shalt serve thy brother; and it shall come to pass when thou shalt have the dominion, that thou shalt break his yoke from off thy neck.
Here again the standard of justice set by god in the garden of eden which ultimately caused the death of Able by his brothers hand.

⁴¹And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.
An understandable reaction given the circumstances, a bit extreme over a couple of words but people to this day believe political promises.
⁴²And these words of Esau her elder son were told to Rebekah: and she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said unto him, Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth comfort himself, purposing to kill thee.
That's showing more of an inclination toward omniscience than that dipshit diety of theirs.
⁴³Now therefore, my son, obey my voice; arise, flee thou to Laban my brother to Haran;
Another Python quote.
"Run Away....."
⁴⁴And tarry with him a few days, until thy brother's fury turn away;
⁴⁵Until thy brother's anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: then I will send, and fetch thee from thence: why should I be deprived also of you both in one day?

Do you think Esau is going to forget,here's a hint
Master/Servant
Servant/Master

⁴⁶And Rebekah said to Isaac, I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?
Should have thought of that before selling out Esau If he was the boss he could have fucked Jacob off back to the family to get a cousin or two to vent his lustful desires on.