Joshua Recap

I must confess to being a little confused by Joshua, although familiar with the myth,these massive conquests and genocides seem to have escaped history unnoticed, save by the perpetrators.
I find myself perturbed by the lack of detail. With such big events we should expect not only more from the winners but from outside sources. Sadly to mention again these events are unrecorded anywhere else.
This suggests either they are complete fabication or bible scholar's have their sums and dates wrong. It seems to me, admittedly with no evidence, that Joshua's conquest was part of the "Sea peoples" invasion that are recorded at least in part in some of the Armarna letters.

To be honest I see most of Joshua as pure bullshit.

Walls falling down with trumpets, the sun standing still and a bunch of nomads achieving world domination. This strikes me as having more to do with long nights and strong wine than any facts.

Joshua 24

¹And Joshua gathered all the tribes of Israel to Shechem, and called for the elders of Israel, and for their heads, and for their judges, and for their officers; and they presented themselves before God.

²And Joshua said unto all the people, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Your fathers dwelt on the other side of the flood in old time, even Terah, the father of Abraham, and the father of Nachor: and they served other gods.

Have I got to point out these other gods were before YHWH ?

³And I took your father Abraham from the other side of the flood, and led him throughout all the land of Canaan, and multiplied his seed, and gave him Isaac.

Surely that would imply that the flood was not a worldwide flood as previously mentioned. Also Abraham was a foreigner. Perhaps de lard is Shiva after all ?

Either way it shows yet again de lard is or has lied to his subjects.

"gave him Isaac" did de lard father Isaac ...Is this yet another "only begotten son"

What follows now is a list of boasts

⁴And I gave unto Isaac Jacob and Esau: and I gave unto Esau mount Seir, to possess it; but Jacob and his children went down into Egypt.

⁵I sent Moses also and Aaron, and I plagued Egypt, according to that which I did among them: and afterward I brought you out.

⁶And I brought your fathers out of Egypt: and ye came unto the sea; and the Egyptians pursued after your fathers with chariots and horsemen unto the Red sea.

⁷And when they cried unto the LORD, he put darkness between you and the Egyptians, and brought the sea upon them, and covered them; and your eyes have seen what I have done in Egypt: and ye dwelt in the wilderness a long season.

⁸And I brought you into the land of the Amorites, which dwelt on the other side Jordan; and they fought with you: and I gave them into your hand, that ye might possess their land; and I destroyed them from before you.

⁹Then Balak the son of Zippor, king of Moab, arose and warred against Israel, and sent and called Balaam the son of Beor to curse you:

¹⁰But I would not hearken unto Balaam; therefore he blessed you still: so I delivered you out of his hand.

¹¹And you went over Jordan, and came unto Jericho: and the men of Jericho fought against you, the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Girgashites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; and I delivered them into your hand.

¹²And I sent the hornet before you, which drave them out from before you, even the two kings of the Amorites; but not with thy sword, nor with thy bow.

¹³And I have given you a land for which ye did not labour, and cities which ye built not, and ye dwell in them; of the vineyards and oliveyards which ye planted not do ye eat.

So de lard has to spout his own importance. Why does this supposed omnipotent being need to keep readdressing his own importance ?

In my experience, most people I have met over the years tell tales of what they have done either to entertain or because they come up in conversation. Other's speak of things for no other reason than to underline their own importance, reading this rhetoric I can only go with my much earlier comments of de lard having serious confidence issues no doubt brought on by an incredibly small penis.

¹⁴Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.

Cos ' de lard leads by example........Lying cunt!

¹⁵And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

¹⁶And the people answered and said, God forbid that we should forsake the LORD, to serve other gods;

That about sums it up doesn't it ? The sort of comment you get off spoilt children.....I wont like you if you dont play with me.....In fact that in essence is the whole "you can't go to heaven unless you are saved" If you won't play with me you can't come to my birthday party!!

¹⁷For the LORD our God, he it is that brought us up and our fathers out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage, and which did those great signs in our sight, and preserved us in all the way wherein we went, and among all the people through whom we passed:

Yes he preserved them all from harm............Apart from the thousands that died of course

¹⁸And the LORD drave out from before us all the people, even the Amorites which dwelt in the land: therefore will we also serve the LORD; for he is our God.

¹⁹And Joshua said unto the people, Ye cannot serve the LORD: for he is an holy God; he is a jealous God; Ye cannot serve the LORD: for he is an holy God; he is a jealous God; he will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins.

²⁰If ye forsake the LORD, and serve strange gods, then he will turn and do you hurt, and consume you, after that he hath done you good.

Alzheimer's kicking in ?

²⁰If ye forsake the LORD, and serve strange gods, then he will turn and do you hurt, and consume you, after that he hath done you good.

²¹And the people said unto Joshua, Nay; but we will serve the LORD.

²²And Joshua said unto the people, Ye are witnesses against yourselves that ye have chosen you the LORD, to serve him. And they said, We are witnesses.

²³Now therefore put away, said he, the strange gods which are among you, and incline your heart unto the LORD God of Israel.

²⁴And the people said unto Joshua, The LORD our God will we serve, and his voice will we obey.

Maybe they are not that stupid ?

²⁵So Joshua made a covenant with the people that day, and set them a statute and an ordinance in Shechem.

²⁶And Joshua wrote these words in the book of the law of God, and took a great stone, and set it up there under an oak, that was by the sanctuary of the LORD.

²⁷And Joshua said unto all the people, Behold, this stone shall be a witness unto us; for it hath heard all the words of the LORD which he spake unto us: it shall be therefore a witness unto you, lest ye deny your God.

So Josh tells them they are all witnesses to each others promise to suck up to de lard(whenever they hear him speak of course), and to make sure they keep thier promise he raises stone. Contrary to what it says in Leviticus 26

²⁸So Joshua let the people depart, every man unto his inheritance.

²⁹And it came to pass after these things, that Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died, being an hundred and ten years old.

³⁰And they buried him in the border of his inheritance in Timnathserah, which is in mount Ephraim, on the north side of the hill of Gaash.

³¹And Israel served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders that overlived Joshua, and which had known all the works of the LORD, that he had done for Israel.

³²And the bones of Joseph, which the children of Israel brought up out of Egypt, buried they in Shechem, in a parcel of ground which Jacob bought of the sons of Hamor the father of Shechem for an hundred pieces of silver: and it became the inheritance of the children of Joseph.

³³And Eleazar the son of Aaron died; and they buried him in a hill that pertained to Phinehas his son, which was given him in mount Ephraim.

Joshua 23

¹And it came to pass a long time after that the LORD had given rest unto Israel from all their enemies round about, that Joshua waxed old and stricken in age.

Is this the Readers Digest version ?

²And Joshua called for all Israel, and for their elders, and for their heads, and for their judges, and for their officers, and said unto them, I am old and stricken in age:

Ah! Senility rules. But at least he remembered the last verse.

³And ye have seen all that the LORD your God hath done unto all these nations because of you; for the LORD your God is he that hath fought for you.

⁴Behold, I have divided unto you by lot these nations that remain, to be an inheritance for your tribes, from Jordan, with all the nations that I have cut off, even unto the great sea westward.

Yes that has to be alzheimer's !!

⁵And the LORD your God, he shall expel them from before you, and drive them from out of your sight; and ye shall possess their land, as the LORD your God hath promised unto you.

There he goes advertising de lards ineffectiveness.

⁶Be ye therefore very courageous to keep and to do all that is written in the book of the law of Moses, that ye turn not aside therefrom to the right hand or to the left;

⁷That ye come not among these nations, these that remain among you; neither make mention of the name of their gods, nor cause to swear by them, neither serve them, nor bow yourselves unto them:

So no Jewish astronomers then ?

⁸But cleave unto the LORD your God, as ye have done unto this day.

So Josh says Jews are gods cleavage ......What a tit.

⁹For the LORD hath driven out from before you great nations and strong: but as for you, no man hath been able to stand before you unto this day.

¹⁰One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the LORD your God, he it is that fighteth for you, as he hath promised you.

Slut!

¹¹Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the LORD your God.

Cos de lard loves the man love.

¹²Else if ye do in any wise go back, and cleave unto the remnant of these nations, even these that remain among you, and shall make marriages with them, and go in unto them, and they to you:

¹³Know for a certainty that the LORD your God will no more drive out any of these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes, until ye perish from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you.

So de lard didn't break his promise to Moses in1939 it was because some one, way back when, polluted his bloodstream.

Again conspicuous by it's absence. De lards renowned omni-prescience failing to make itself known.

¹⁴And, behold, this day I am going the way of all the earth: and ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls, that not one thing hath failed of all the good things which the LORD your God spake concerning you; all are come to pass unto you, and not one thing hath failed thereof.

¹⁵Therefore it shall come to pass, that as all good things are come upon you, which the LORD your God promised you; so shall the LORD bring upon you all evil things, until he have destroyed you from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you.

At least not shifting the blame for a change.

¹⁶When ye have transgressed the covenant of the LORD your God, which he commanded you, and have gone and served other gods, and bowed yourselves to them; then shall the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and ye shall perish quickly from off the good land which he hath given unto you.

Again de lard failing to see global warming etc.

Joshua 22

¹Then Joshua called the Reubenites, and the Gadites, and the half tribe of Manasseh,

Perhaps it's only half a pile of bullshit ?

²And said unto them, Ye have kept all that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, and have obeyed my voice in all that I commanded you:

³Ye have not left your brethren these many days unto this day, but have kept the charge of the commandment of the LORD your God.

Thatof course, is the lesser knon commandments of de lard, the commandments that say, Thou SHALT kill,maim,rape,destroy,covet,steal etc. Not the more well publicised ones that said Thou shalt NOT kill, covert,steal etc.

⁴And now the LORD your God hath given rest unto your brethren, as he promised them: therefore now return ye, and get you unto your tents, and unto the land of your possession, which Moses the servant of the LORD gave you on the other side Jordan.

Because de lard in his infinite wisdom and all powerfulness couldn't just have created extra land with ready built cities. He emphasised his love of mankind by making you steal it from the previous owners, incidentally relieving them of their lives and freedom as well as their possessions.

⁵But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law, which Moses the servant of the LORD charged you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Correct me if I am wrong. But, wasn't the last reported sighting of de lard with Moses on the mount ? So why are not all priest's not walking around with their arse hanging out ?After all many seem to live up to some of his other attributes....selfish,stubborn,stupid and perverse to name but a few.

⁶So Joshua blessed them, and sent them away: and they went unto their tents.

⁷Now to the one half of the tribe of Manasseh Moses had given possession in Bashan: but unto the other half thereof gave Joshua among their brethren on this side Jordan westward. And when Joshua sent them away also unto their tents, then he blessed them,

What ?

Now, this half of the tribe of Manasseh is this the whole half or half of the half ?Now after reading the next sentance it is half of the half tribe does this not make it a quarter ?

⁸And he spake unto them, saying, Return with much riches unto your tents, and with very much cattle, with silver, and with gold, and with brass, and with iron, and with very much raiment: divide the spoil of your enemies with your brethren.

⁹And the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh returned, and departed from the children of Israel out of Shiloh, which is in the land of Canaan, to go unto the country of Gilead, to the land of their possession, whereof they were possessed, according to the word of the LORD by the hand of Moses.

¹⁰And when they came unto the borders of Jordan, that are in the land of Canaan, the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh built there an altar by Jordan, a great altar to see to.

So this great alter Josh had built it is a major tourist attraction......?

Oh no .. that's right, one of de lards lesser known miracles Josh built it out of

Snow

¹¹And the children of Israel heard say, Behold, the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh have built an altar over against the land of Canaan, in the borders of Jordan, at the passage of the children of Israel.

¹²And when the children of Israel heard of it, the whole congregation of the children of Israel gathered themselves together at Shiloh, to go up to war against them.

Have I missed something ?

Surely someone,somewhere has fucked this tale up.

Let me get this straight.

The tribes of Gad,Rueben and Manassah are heading home and decide to erect an altar. Something that seems to be a cultural thing from at least the time of Abraham. Yet the other tribes have got their knickers in a knot over it.

I think these cunts just like killing now they have massacred all the natives they just want to pick a fight with anyone.

¹³And the children of Israel sent unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the half tribe of Manasseh, into the land of Gilead, Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest,

¹⁴And with him ten princes, of each chief house a prince throughout all the tribes of Israel; and each one was an head of the house of their fathers among the thousands of Israel.

¹⁵And they came unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the half tribe of Manasseh, unto the land of Gilead, and they spake with them, saying,

¹⁶Thus saith the whole congregation of the LORD, What trespass is this that ye have committed against the God of Israel, to turn away this day from following the LORD, in that ye have builded you an altar, that ye might rebel this day against the LORD?

¹⁷Is the iniquity of Peor too little for us, from which we are not cleansed until this day, although there was a plague in the congregation of the LORD,

¹⁸But that ye must turn away this day from following the LORD? and it will be, seeing ye rebel to day against the LORD, that to morrow he will be wroth with the whole congregation of Israel.

¹⁹Notwithstanding, if the land of your possession be unclean, then pass ye over unto the land of the possession of the LORD, wherein the LORD's tabernacle dwelleth, and take possession among us: but rebel not against the LORD, nor rebel against us, in building you an altar beside the altar of the LORD our God.

I am confused, There is nothing saying the new altar is dedicated to any god other than de lard. Yet the other Israelites are seriously pissed. Why is this new altar bigger.more beautifully cared ? Is it aligned incorrectly ? I think I shall stick with blood-lust and madness as reasons.

²⁰Did not Achan the son of Zerah commit a trespass in the accursed thing, and wrath fell on all the congregation of Israel? and that man perished not alone in his iniquity.

²¹Then the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh answered, and said unto the heads of the thousands of Israel,

²²The LORD God of gods, the LORD God of gods, he knoweth, and Israel he shall know; if it be in rebellion, or if in transgression against the LORD, (save us not this day,)

Yet another admission there are other gods, but when did that poxy weasel of a god get promoted to god of gods ?

²³That we have built us an altar to turn from following the LORD, or if to offer thereon burnt offering or meat offering, or if to offer peace offerings thereon, let the LORD himself require it;

²⁴And if we have not rather done it for fear of this thing, saying, In time to come your children might speak unto our children, saying, What have ye to do with the LORD God of Israel?

²⁵For the LORD hath made Jordan a border between us and you, ye children of Reuben and children of Gad; ye have no part in the LORD: so shall your children make our children cease from fearing the LORD.

²⁶Therefore we said, Let us now prepare to build us an altar, not for burnt offering, nor for sacrifice:

²⁷But that it may be a witness between us, and you, and our generations after us, that we might do the service of the LORD before him with our burnt offerings, and with our sacrifices, and with our peace offerings; that your children may not say to our children in time to come, Ye have no part in the LORD.

Because nothing seals a deal like the ritual slaughter of innocent flesh.

²⁸Therefore said we, that it shall be, when they should so say to us or to our generations in time to come, that we may say again, Behold the pattern of the altar of the LORD, which our fathers made, not for burnt offerings, nor for sacrifices; but it is a witness between us and you.

²⁹God forbid that we should rebel against the LORD, and turn this day from following the LORD, to build an altar for burnt offerings, for meat offerings, or for sacrifices, beside the altar of the LORD our God that is before his tabernacle.

³⁰And when Phinehas the priest, and the princes of the congregation and heads of the thousands of Israel which were with him, heard the words that the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the children of Manasseh spake, it pleased them.

³¹And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the children of Manasseh, This day we perceive that the LORD is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the LORD: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the LORD.

³²And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, and the princes, returned from the children of Reuben, and from the children of Gad, out of the land of Gilead, unto the land of Canaan, to the children of Israel, and brought them word again.

³³And the thing pleased the children of Israel; and the children of Israel blessed God, and did not intend to go up against them in battle, to destroy the land wherein the children of Reuben and Gad dwelt.

³⁴And the children of Reuben and the children of Gad called the altar Ed: for it shall be a witness between us that the LORD is God.

Joshua 21

¹Then came near the heads of the fathers of the Levites unto Eleazar the priest, and unto Joshua the son of Nun, and unto the heads of the fathers of the tribes of the children of Israel;

So thats a lot of head.... things must be looking up!!!

²And they spake unto them at Shiloh in the land of Canaan, saying, The LORD commanded by the hand of Moses to give us cities to dwell in, with the suburbs thereof for our cattle.

³And the children of Israel gave unto the Levites out of their inheritance, at the commandment of the LORD, these cities and their suburbs.

I must admit I am still struggling with the fact that they only have these cities to give because the broke at least three of the ten commandments.

And here we go again with the inevitable accountants list.

⁴And the lot came out for the families of the Kohathites: and the children of Aaron the priest, which were of the Levites, had by lot out of the tribe of Judah, and out of the tribe of Simeon, and out of the tribe of Benjamin, thirteen cities.

⁵And the rest of the children of Kohath had by lot out of the families of the tribe of Ephraim, and out of the tribe of Dan, and out of the half tribe of Manasseh, ten cities.

There's that stupid number again.."half a tribe"...surely thats like saying half infinity ?

⁶And the children of Gershon had by lot out of the families of the tribe of Issachar, and out of the tribe of Asher, and out of the tribe of Naphtali, and out of the half tribe of Manasseh in Bashan, thirteen cities.

⁷The children of Merari by their families had out of the tribe of Reuben, and out of the tribe of Gad, and out of the tribe of Zebulun, twelve cities.

⁸And the children of Israel gave by lot unto the Levites these cities with their suburbs, as the LORD commanded by the hand of Moses.

⁹And they gave out of the tribe of the children of Judah, and out of the tribe of the children of Simeon, these cities which are here mentioned by name.

¹⁰Which the children of Aaron, being of the families of the Kohathites, who were of the children of Levi, had: for theirs was the first lot.

¹¹And they gave them the city of Arba the father of Anak, which city is Hebron, in the hill country of Judah, with the suburbs thereof round about it.

¹²But the fields of the city, and the villages thereof, gave they to Caleb the son of Jephunneh for his possession.

¹³Thus they gave to the children of Aaron the priest Hebron with her suburbs, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Libnah with her suburbs,

¹⁴And Jattir with her suburbs, and Eshtemoa with her suburbs,

¹⁵And Holon with her suburbs, and Debir with her suburbs,

¹⁶And Ain with her suburbs, and Juttah with her suburbs, and Bethshemesh with her suburbs; nine cities out of those two tribes.

¹⁷And out of the tribe of Benjamin, Gibeon with her suburbs, Geba with her suburbs,

¹⁸Anathoth with her suburbs, and Almon with her suburbs; four cities.

¹⁹All the cities of the children of Aaron, the priests, were thirteen cities with their suburbs.

²⁰And the families of the children of Kohath, the Levites which remained of the children of Kohath, even they had the cities of their lot out of the tribe of Ephraim.

²¹For they gave them Shechem with her suburbs in mount Ephraim, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Gezer with her suburbs,

²²And Kibzaim with her suburbs, and Bethhoron with her suburbs; four cities.

²³And out of the tribe of Dan, Eltekeh with her suburbs, Gibbethon with her suburbs,

²⁴Aijalon with her suburbs, Gathrimmon with her suburbs; four cities.

²⁵And out of the half tribe of Manasseh, Tanach with her suburbs, and Gathrimmon with her suburbs; two cities.

²⁶All the cities were ten with their suburbs for the families of the children of Kohath that remained.

²⁷And unto the children of Gershon, of the families of the Levites, out of the other half tribe of Manasseh they gave Golan in Bashan with her suburbs, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Beeshterah with her suburbs; two cities.

²⁸And out of the tribe of Issachar, Kishon with her suburbs, Dabareh with her suburbs,

²⁹Jarmuth with her suburbs, Engannim with her suburbs; four cities.

³⁰And out of the tribe of Asher, Mishal with her suburbs, Abdon with her suburbs,

³¹Helkath with her suburbs, and Rehob with her suburbs; four cities.

³²And out of the tribe of Naphtali, Kedesh in Galilee with her suburbs, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Hammothdor with her suburbs, and Kartan with her suburbs; three cities.

³³All the cities of the Gershonites according to their families were thirteen cities with their suburbs.

³⁴And unto the families of the children of Merari, the rest of the Levites, out of the tribe of Zebulun, Jokneam with her suburbs, and Kartah with her suburbs,

³⁵Dimnah with her suburbs, Nahalal with her suburbs; four cities.

³⁶And out of the tribe of Reuben, Bezer with her suburbs, and Jahazah with her suburbs,

³⁷Kedemoth with her suburbs, and Mephaath with her suburbs; four cities.

³⁸And out of the tribe of Gad, Ramoth in Gilead with her suburbs, to be a city of refuge for the slayer; and Mahanaim with her suburbs,

³⁹Heshbon with her suburbs, Jazer with her suburbs; four cities in all.

⁴⁰So all the cities for the children of Merari by their families, which were remaining of the families of the Levites, were by their lot twelve cities.

⁴¹All the cities of the Levites within the possession of the children of Israel were forty and eight cities with their suburbs.

⁴²These cities were every one with their suburbs round about them: thus were all these cities.

⁴³And the LORD gave unto Israel all the land which he sware to give unto their fathers; and they possessed it, and dwelt therein.

⁴⁴And the LORD gave them rest round about, according to all that he sware unto their fathers: and there stood not a man of all their enemies before them; the LORD delivered all their enemies into their hand.

⁴⁵There failed not ought of any good thing which the LORD had spoken unto the house of Israel; all came to pass.

Does anybody know where this great division of the land is recorded outside the oral tradition of the Jews ?
Call me suspicious or even cynical, but this is a major event in world history. Happening mid point between two highly literate civilizations, and yet nobody seems to have mentioned,even slightly in passing. That a bunch of dirty nomads have suddenly, almost overnight become a dominant power, encompassing a large empire.

Joshua 20

Well I am back.

Sorry if you have missed me but I have been working my arse off until I went on holiday a week or so ago. So hopefully refreshed, we begin again

So there was me looking forwards to something I could get my teeth into and what have i found, A slight expansion of Moses idea, offering a theoretical "sanctuary" from vengeance in the event of accidental deaths.

¹The LORD also spake unto Joshua, saying,

²Speak to the children of Israel, saying, Appoint out for you cities of refuge, whereof I spake unto you by the hand of Moses:

³That the slayer that killeth any person unawares and unwittingly may flee thither: and they shall be your refuge from the avenger of blood.

I got to ask.....At that time how do you unwittingly kill someone and be unaware of it ?

"I was cleaning my spear and it went off "????

Ok times haven't changed that much I suppose a brawl where one party suffers a serious injury and later dies

⁴And when he that doth flee unto one of those cities shall stand at the entering of the gate of the city, and shall declare his cause in the ears of the elders of that city, they shall take him into the city unto them, and give him a place, that he may dwell among them.

⁵And if the avenger of blood pursue after him, then they shall not deliver the slayer up into his hand; because he smote his neighbour unwittingly, and hated him not beforetime.

⁶And he shall dwell in that city, until he stand before the congregation for judgment, and until the death of the high priest that shall be in those days: then shall the slayer return, and come unto his own city, and unto his own house, unto the city from whence he fled.

So if you do accidentally kill someone try and flee to a city where the high preist is young and healthy or your sanctury may be short lived.

⁷And they appointed Kedesh in Galilee in mount Naphtali, and Shechem in mount Ephraim, and Kirjatharba, which is Hebron, in the mountain of Judah.

⁸And on the other side Jordan by Jericho eastward, they assigned Bezer in the wilderness upon the plain out of the tribe of Reuben, and Ramoth in Gilead out of the tribe of Gad, and Golan in Bashan out of the tribe of Manasseh.

⁹These were the cities appointed for all the children of Israel, and for the stranger that sojourneth among them, that whosoever killeth any person at unawares might flee thither, and not die by the hand of the avenger of blood, until he stood before the congregation.

Joshua 19

¹And the second lot came forth to Simeon, even for the tribe of the children of Simeon according to their families: and their inheritance was within the inheritance of the children of Judah.

Is this another guy with a salty wife or is it gay sex rearing its ugly beautiful head again

²And they had in their inheritance Beersheba, and Sheba, and Moladah,

Not another fucking list

³And Hazarshual, and Balah, and Azem,

⁴And Eltolad, and Bethul, and Hormah,

⁵And Ziklag, and Bethmarcaboth, and Hazarsusah,

⁶And Bethlebaoth, and Sharuhen; thirteen cities and their villages:

⁷Ain, Remmon, and Ether, and Ashan; four cities and their villages:

⁸And all the villages that were round about these cities to Baalathbeer, Ramath of the south. This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Simeon according to their families.

⁹Out of the portion of the children of Judah was the inheritance of the children of Simeon: for the part of the children of Judah was too much for them: therefore the children of Simeon had their inheritance within the inheritance of them.

If the shit was portioned equally, how could Judah's kids shit be too much shit,that some of their shit had to become Simeons kids shit ?

¹⁰And the third lot came up for the children of Zebulun according to their families: and the border of their inheritance was unto Sarid:

Yet another man with a salty wife.....perhaps they should try washing a bit more carefully, although it must be difficult if they don't take their clothes off. Using water instead of sand is usually a bonus too.

¹¹And their border went up toward the sea, and Maralah, and reached to Dabbasheth, and reached to the river that is before Jokneam;

¹²And turned from Sarid eastward toward the sunrising unto the border of Chislothtabor, and then goeth out to Daberath, and goeth up to Japhia,

¹³And from thence passeth on along on the east to Gittahhepher, to Ittahkazin, and goeth out to Remmonmethoar to Neah;

¹⁴And the border compasseth it on the north side to Hannathon: and the outgoings thereof are in the valley of Jiphthahel:

¹⁵And Kattath, and Nahallal, and Shimron, and Idalah, and Bethlehem: twelve cities with their villages.

¹⁶This is the inheritance of the children of Zebulun according to their families, these cities with their villages.

¹⁷And the fourth lot came out to Issachar, for the children of Issachar according to their families.

¹⁸And their border was toward Jezreel, and Chesulloth, and Shunem,

¹⁹And Haphraim, and Shihon, and Anaharath,

²⁰And Rabbith, and Kishion, and Abez,

²¹And Remeth, and Engannim, and Enhaddah, and Bethpazzez;

²²And the coast reacheth to Tabor, and Shahazimah, and Bethshemesh; and the outgoings of their border were at Jordan: sixteen cities with their villages.

²³This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Issachar according to their families, the cities and their villages.

²⁴And the fifth lot came out for the tribe of the children of Asher according to their families.

²⁵And their border was Helkath, and Hali, and Beten, and Achshaph,

²⁶And Alammelech, and Amad, and Misheal; and reacheth to Carmel westward, and to Shihorlibnath;

²⁷And turneth toward the sunrising to Bethdagon, and reacheth to Zebulun, and to the valley of Jiphthahel toward the north side of Bethemek, and Neiel, and goeth out to Cabul on the left hand,

²⁸And Hebron, and Rehob, and Hammon, and Kanah, even unto great Zidon;

²⁹And then the coast turneth to Ramah, and to the strong city Tyre; and the coast turneth to Hosah; and the outgoings thereof are at the sea from the coast to Achzib:

³⁰Ummah also, and Aphek, and Rehob: twenty and two cities with their villages.

³¹This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Asher according to their families, these cities with their villages.

³²The sixth lot came out to the children of Naphtali, even for the children of Naphtali according to their families.

³³And their coast was from Heleph, from Allon to Zaanannim, and Adami, Nekeb, and Jabneel, unto Lakum; and the outgoings thereof were at Jordan:

³⁴And then the coast turneth westward to Aznothtabor, and goeth out from thence to Hukkok, and reacheth to Zebulun on the south side, and reacheth to Asher on the west side, and to Judah upon Jordan toward the sunrising.

³⁵And the fenced cities are Ziddim, Zer, and Hammath, Rakkath, and Chinnereth,

³⁶And Adamah, and Ramah, and Hazor,

³⁷And Kedesh, and Edrei, and Enhazor,

³⁸And Iron, and Migdalel, Horem, and Bethanath, and Bethshemesh; nineteen cities with their villages.

³⁹This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Naphtali according to their families, the cities and their villages.

⁴⁰And the seventh lot came out for the tribe of the children of Dan according to their families.

⁴¹And the coast of their inheritance was Zorah, and Eshtaol, and Irshemesh,

⁴²And Shaalabbin, and Ajalon, and Jethlah,

⁴³And Elon, and Thimnathah, and Ekron,

⁴⁴And Eltekeh, and Gibbethon, and Baalath,

⁴⁵And Jehud, and Beneberak, and Gathrimmon,

⁴⁶And Mejarkon, and Rakkon, with the border before Japho.

⁴⁷And the coast of the children of Dan went out too little for them: therefore the children of Dan went up to fight against Leshem, and took it, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and possessed it, and dwelt therein, and called Leshem, Dan, after the name of Dan their father.

⁴⁸This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Dan according to their families, these cities with their villages.

⁴⁹When they had made an end of dividing the land for inheritance by their coasts, the children of Israel gave an inheritance to Joshua the son of Nun among them:

⁵⁰According to the word of the LORD they gave him the city which he asked, even Timnathserah in mount Ephraim: and he built the city, and dwelt therein.

So there we have it a few lists of a lot of lots.

⁵¹These are the inheritances, which Eleazar the priest, and Joshua the son of Nun, and the heads of the fathers of the tribes of the children of Israel, divided for an inheritance by lot in Shiloh before the LORD, at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. So they made an end of dividing the country.

Joshua 18

What can I say ?

Here we are meandering through conquest after conquest by some of the most barbaric and spiteful peoples that have ever lived. Conquests of numerous city states, great battles no doubt followed by some sordid and reprehensible behaviour sanctioned by Josh and de lard.
These great world changing, historical events are recorded by eyewitness scribes.


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¹And the whole congregation of the children of Israel assembled together at Shiloh, and set up the tabernacle of the congregation there. And the land was subdued before them.

²And there remained among the children of Israel seven tribes, which had not yet received their inheritance.

³And Joshua said unto the children of Israel, How long are ye slack to go to possess the land, which the LORD God of your fathers hath given you?

Does this mean they are not murdering fast enough ? It does make me question the validity of Karma

⁴Give out from among you three men for each tribe: and I will send them, and they shall rise, and go through the land, and describe it according to the inheritance of them; and they shall come again to me.

⁵And they shall divide it into seven parts: Judah shall abide in their coast on the south, and the house of Joseph shall abide in their coasts on the north.

⁶Ye shall therefore describe the land into seven parts, and bring the description hither to me, that I may cast lots for you here before the LORD our God.

⁷But the Levites have no part among you; for the priesthood of the LORD is their inheritance: and Gad, and Reuben, and half the tribe of Manasseh, have received their inheritance beyond Jordan on the east, which Moses the servant of the LORD gave them.

Cos' they get 10% of everything else without having to do any work anyway !

⁸And the men arose, and went away: and Joshua charged them that went to describe the land, saying, Go and walk through the land, and describe it, and come again to me, that I may here cast lots for you before the LORD in Shiloh.

⁹And the men went and passed through the land, and described it by cities into seven parts in a book, and came again to Joshua to the host at Shiloh.

¹⁰And Joshua cast lots for them in Shiloh before the LORD: and there Joshua divided the land unto the children of Israel according to their divisions.

¹¹And the lot of the tribe of the children of Benjamin came up according to their families: and the coast of their lot came forth between the children of Judah and the children of Joseph.

¹²And their border on the north side was from Jordan; and the border went up to the side of Jericho on the north side, and went up through the mountains westward; and the goings out thereof were at the wilderness of Bethaven.

¹³And the border went over from thence toward Luz, to the side of Luz, which is Bethel, southward; and the border descended to Atarothadar, near the hill that lieth on the south side of the nether Bethhoron.

¹⁴And the border was drawn thence, and compassed the corner of the sea southward, from the hill that lieth before Bethhoron southward; and the goings out thereof were at Kirjathbaal, which is Kirjathjearim, a city of the children of Judah: this was the west quarter.

¹⁵And the south quarter was from the end of Kirjathjearim, and the border went out on the west, and went out to the well of waters of Nephtoah:

¹⁶And the border came down to the end of the mountain that lieth before the valley of the son of Hinnom, and which is in the valley of the giants on the north, and descended to the valley of Hinnom, to the side of Jebusi on the south, and descended to Enrogel,

¹⁷And was drawn from the north, and went forth to Enshemesh, and went forth toward Geliloth, which is over against the going up of Adummim, and descended to the stone of Bohan the son of Reuben,

¹⁸And passed along toward the side over against Arabah northward, and went down unto Arabah:

¹⁹And the border passed along to the side of Bethhoglah northward: and the outgoings of the border were at the north bay of the salt sea at the south end of Jordan: this was the south coast.

²⁰And Jordan was the border of it on the east side. This was the inheritance of the children of Benjamin, by the coasts thereof round about, according to their families.

²¹Now the cities of the tribe of the children of Benjamin according to their families were Jericho, and Bethhoglah, and the valley of Keziz,

²²And Betharabah, and Zemaraim, and Bethel,

²³And Avim, and Pharah, and Ophrah,

²⁴And Chepharhaammonai, and Ophni, and Gaba; twelve cities with their villages:

²⁵Gibeon, and Ramah, and Beeroth,

²⁶And Mizpeh, and Chephirah, and Mozah,

²⁷And Rekem, and Irpeel, and Taralah,

²⁸And Zelah, Eleph, and Jebusi, which is Jerusalem, Gibeath, and Kirjath; fourteen cities with their villages. This is the inheritance of the children of Benjamin according to their families.

Joshua 17

¹There was also a lot for the tribe of Manasseh; for he was the firstborn of Joseph; to wit, for Machir the firstborn of Manasseh, the father of Gilead: because he was a man of war, therefore he had Gilead and Bashan.

²There was also a lot for the rest of the children of Manasseh by their families; for the children of Abiezer, and for the children of Helek, and for the children of Asriel, and for the children of Shechem, and for the children of Hepher, and for the children of Shemida: these were the male children of Manasseh the son of Joseph by their families.

³But Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, had no sons, but daughters: and these are the names of his daughters, Mahlah, and Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.

I have mentioned a few times especially in genesis similar things between the proto-Jewish religion and Hinduism, with names like Hepher and Milcah cropping up are you surprised ?

⁴And they came near before Eleazar the priest, and before Joshua the son of Nun, and before the princes, saying, The LORD commanded Moses to give us an inheritance among our brethren. Therefore according to the commandment of the LORD he gave them an inheritance among the brethren of their father.

⁵And there fell ten portions to Manasseh, beside the land of Gilead and Bashan, which were on the other side Jordan;

⁶Because the daughters of Manasseh had an inheritance among his sons: and the rest of Manasseh's sons had the land of Gilead.

⁷And the coast of Manasseh was from Asher to Michmethah, that lieth before Shechem; and the border went along on the right hand unto the inhabitants of Entappuah.

⁸Now Manasseh had the land of Tappuah: but Tappuah on the border of Manasseh belonged to the children of Ephraim;

⁹And the coast descended unto the river Kanah, southward of the river: these cities of Ephraim are among the cities of Manasseh: the coast of Manasseh also was on the north side of the river, and the outgoings of it were at the sea:

¹⁰Southward it was Ephraim's, and northward it was Manasseh's, and the sea is his border; and they met together in Asher on the north, and in Issachar on the east.

¹¹And Manasseh had in Issachar and in Asher Bethshean and her towns, and Ibleam and her towns, and the inhabitants of Dor and her towns, and the inhabitants of Endor and her towns, and the inhabitants of Taanach and her towns, and the inhabitants of Megiddo and her towns, even three countries.

Is that the same Megiddo that the romans were to lay seige to a thousand or so years later ?

¹²Yet the children of Manasseh could not drive out the inhabitants of those cities; but the Canaanites would dwell in that land.

¹³Yet it came to pass, when the children of Israel were waxen strong, that they put the Canaanites to tribute, but did not utterly drive them out.

¹⁴And the children of Joseph spake unto Joshua, saying, Why hast thou given me but one lot and one portion to inherit, seeing I am a great people, forasmuch as the LORD hath blessed me hitherto?

¹⁵And Joshua answered them, If thou be a great people, then get thee up to the wood country, and cut down for thyself there in the land of the Perizzites and of the giants, if mount Ephraim be too narrow for thee.

¹⁶And the children of Joseph said, The hill is not enough for us: and all the Canaanites that dwell in the land of the valley have chariots of iron, both they who are of Bethshean and her towns, and they who are of the valley of Jezreel.

¹⁷And Joshua spake unto the house of Joseph, even to Ephraim and to Manasseh, saying, Thou art a great people, and hast great power: thou shalt not have one lot only:

¹⁸But the mountain shall be thine; for it is a wood, and thou shalt cut it down: and the outgoings of it shall be thine: for thou shalt drive out the Canaanites, though they have iron chariots, and though they be strong.

Need I point out that the last verse of the last chapter states the Canaanites were not expelled and lived there at least the time of writing

Joshua 16

This is a very short chapter listing some of the dividing up of Canaan. Note that de lard is not mentioned and that the Canaanite were not totally massacred.

¹And the lot of the children of Joseph fell from Jordan by Jericho, unto the water of Jericho on the east, to the wilderness that goeth up from Jericho throughout mount Bethel,

²And goeth out from Bethel to Luz, and passeth along unto the borders of Archi to Ataroth,

³And goeth down westward to the coast of Japhleti, unto the coast of Bethhoron the nether, and to Gezer; and the goings out thereof are at the sea.

⁴So the children of Joseph, Manasseh and Ephraim, took their inheritance.

⁵And the border of the children of Ephraim according to their families was thus: even the border of their inheritance on the east side was Atarothaddar, unto Bethhoron the upper;

⁶And the border went out toward the sea to Michmethah on the north side; and the border went about eastward unto Taanathshiloh, and passed by it on the east to Janohah;

⁷And it went down from Janohah to Ataroth, and to Naarath, and came to Jericho, and went out at Jordan.

⁸The border went out from Tappuah westward unto the river Kanah; and the goings out thereof were at the sea. This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Ephraim by their families.

⁹And the separate cities for the children of Ephraim were among the inheritance of the children of Manasseh, all the cities with their villages.

¹⁰And they drave not out the Canaanites that dwelt in Gezer: but the Canaanites dwell among the Ephraimites unto this day, and serve under tribute.

All in all. This is just a half arsed summary that appears to be thrown in as an afterthought.Where is the reverance and detail that you would expect from the brainwashed minions of de lard ?

Joshua 15

¹This then was the lot of the tribe of the children of Judah by their families; even to the border of Edom the wilderness of Zin southward was the uttermost part of the south coast.

²And their south border was from the shore of the salt sea, from the bay that looketh southward:

³And it went out to the south side to Maalehacrabbim, and passed along to Zin, and ascended up on the south side unto Kadeshbarnea, and passed along to Hezron, and went up to Adar, and fetched a compass to Karkaa:

⁴From thence it passed toward Azmon, and went out unto the river of Egypt; and the goings out of that coast were at the sea: this shall be your south coast.

⁵And the east border was the salt sea, even unto the end of Jordan. And their border in the north quarter was from the bay of the sea at the uttermost part of Jordan:

⁶And the border went up to Bethhogla, and passed along by the north of Betharabah; and the border went up to the stone of Bohan the son of Reuben:

⁷And the border went up toward Debir from the valley of Achor, and so northward, looking toward Gilgal, that is before the going up to Adummim, which is on the south side of the river: and the border passed toward the waters of Enshemesh, and the goings out thereof were at Enrogel:

⁸And the border went up by the valley of the son of Hinnom unto the south side of the Jebusite; the same is Jerusalem: and the border went up to the top of the mountain that lieth before the valley of Hinnom westward, which is at the end of the valley of the giants northward:

⁹And the border was drawn from the top of the hill unto the fountain of the water of Nephtoah, and went out to the cities of mount Ephron; and the border was drawn to Baalah, which is Kirjathjearim:

¹⁰And the border compassed from Baalah westward unto mount Seir, and passed along unto the side of mount Jearim, which is Chesalon, on the north side, and went down to Bethshemesh, and passed on to Timnah:

¹¹And the border went out unto the side of Ekron northward: and the border was drawn to Shicron, and passed along to mount Baalah, and went out unto Jabneel; and the goings out of the border were at the sea.

¹²And the west border was to the great sea, and the coast thereof. This is the coast of the children of Judah round about according to their families.

¹³And unto Caleb the son of Jephunneh he gave a part among the children of Judah, according to the commandment of the LORD to Joshua, even the city of Arba the father of Anak, which city is Hebron.

¹⁴And Caleb drove thence the three sons of Anak, Sheshai, and Ahiman, and Talmai, the children of Anak.

¹⁵And he went up thence to the inhabitants of Debir: and the name of Debir before was Kirjathsepher.

¹⁶And Caleb said, He that smiteth Kirjathsepher, and taketh it, to him will I give Achsah my daughter to wife.

It may be my imagination but are any of these names much more than an accents difference from some of these

¹⁷And Othniel the son of Kenaz, the brother of Caleb, took it: and he gave him Achsah his daughter to wife.

¹⁸And it came to pass, as she came unto him, that she moved him to ask of her father a field: and she lighted off her ass; and Caleb said unto her, What wouldest thou?

¹⁹Who answered, Give me a blessing; for thou hast given me a south land; give me also springs of water. And he gave her the upper springs, and the nether springs.

²⁰This is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Judah according to their families.

What follows is an impressive list of conquests as the overwhelming Israelite army moves across the land like bacteria in a petri dish. A list that proves beyond doubt the power of de lard............

²¹And the uttermost cities of the tribe of the children of Judah toward the coast of Edom southward were Kabzeel, and Eder, and Jagur,

²²And Kinah, and Dimonah, and Adadah,

²³And Kedesh, and Hazor, and Ithnan,

²⁴Ziph, and Telem, and Bealoth,

²⁵And Hazor, Hadattah, and Kerioth, and Hezron, which is Hazor,

²⁶Amam, and Shema, and Moladah,

²⁷And Hazargaddah, and Heshmon, and Bethpalet,

²⁸And Hazarshual, and Beersheba, and Bizjothjah,

²⁹Baalah, and Iim, and Azem,

³⁰And Eltolad, and Chesil, and Hormah,

³¹And Ziklag, and Madmannah, and Sansannah,

³²And Lebaoth, and Shilhim, and Ain, and Rimmon: all the cities are twenty and nine, with their villages:

³³And in the valley, Eshtaol, and Zoreah, and Ashnah,

³⁴And Zanoah, and Engannim, Tappuah, and Enam,

³⁵Jarmuth, and Adullam, Socoh, and Azekah,

³⁶And Sharaim, and Adithaim, and Gederah, and Gederothaim; fourteen cities with their villages:

³⁷Zenan, and Hadashah, and Migdalgad,

³⁸And Dilean, and Mizpeh, and Joktheel,

³⁹Lachish, and Bozkath, and Eglon,

⁴⁰And Cabbon, and Lahmam, and Kithlish,

⁴¹And Gederoth, Bethdagon, and Naamah, and Makkedah; sixteen cities with their villages:

⁴²Libnah, and Ether, and Ashan,

⁴³And Jiphtah, and Ashnah, and Nezib,

⁴⁴And Keilah, and Achzib, and Mareshah; nine cities with their villages:

⁴⁵Ekron, with her towns and her villages:

⁴⁶From Ekron even unto the sea, all that lay near Ashdod, with their villages:

⁴⁷Ashdod with her towns and her villages, Gaza with her towns and her villages, unto the river of Egypt, and the great sea, and the border thereof:

⁴⁸And in the mountains, Shamir, and Jattir, and Socoh,

⁴⁹And Dannah, and Kirjathsannah, which is Debir,

⁵⁰And Anab, and Eshtemoh, and Anim,

⁵¹And Goshen, and Holon, and Giloh; eleven cities with their villages:

⁵²Arab, and Dumah, and Eshean,

⁵³And Janum, and Bethtappuah, and Aphekah,

⁵⁴And Humtah, and Kirjatharba, which is Hebron, and Zior; nine cities with their villages:

⁵⁵Maon, Carmel, and Ziph, and Juttah,

⁵⁶And Jezreel, and Jokdeam, and Zanoah,

⁵⁷Cain, Gibeah, and Timnah; ten cities with their villages:

⁵⁸Halhul, Bethzur, and Gedor,

⁵⁹And Maarath, and Bethanoth, and Eltekon; six cities with their villages:

⁶⁰Kirjathbaal, which is Kirjathjearim, and Rabbah; two cities with their villages:

⁶¹In the wilderness, Betharabah, Middin, and Secacah,

⁶²And Nibshan, and the city of Salt, and Engedi; six cities with their villages.

..................Almost...........................

⁶³As for the Jebusites the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the children of Judah could not drive them out; but the Jebusites dwell with the children of Judah at Jerusalem unto this day.

What ? After all the so called miracles, and boasting of the power of de lard, the great god of the Israelites, the all powerful, all doing, all loving creator and destroyer is unable to honour his promise to his loyal servants and give them their capital city.
What happened did his mummy call him in for his supper and put him to bed ?

Joshua 14

¹And these are the countries which the children of Israel inherited in the land of Canaan, which Eleazar the priest, and Joshua the son of Nun, and the heads of the fathers of the tribes of the children of Israel, distributed for inheritance to them.

Umm, can I just get you to look again at the penultimate verse of the last chapter

Joshua 13: ³² These are the countries which Moses did distribute for inheritance in the plains of Moab, on the other side Jordan, by Jericho, eastward.

²By lot was their inheritance, as the LORD commanded by the hand of Moses, for the nine tribes, and for the half tribe.

³For Moses had given the inheritance of two tribes and an half tribe on the other side Jordan: but unto the Levites he gave none inheritance among them.

Did I miss the bit where Moses came back from the dead ?

⁴For the children of Joseph were two tribes, Manasseh and Ephraim: therefore they gave no part unto the Levites in the land, save cities to dwell in, with their suburbs for their cattle and for their substance.

⁵As the LORD commanded Moses, so the children of Israel did, and they divided the land.

⁶Then the children of Judah came unto Joshua in Gilgal: and Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite said unto him, Thou knowest the thing that the LORD said unto Moses the man of God concerning me and thee in Kadeshbarnea.

⁷Forty years old was I when Moses the servant of the LORD sent me from Kadeshbarnea to espy out the land; and I brought him word again as it was in mine heart.

⁸Nevertheless my brethren that went up with me made the heart of the people melt: but I wholly followed the LORD my God.

⁹And Moses sware on that day, saying, Surely the land whereon thy feet have trodden shall be thine inheritance, and thy children's for ever, because thou hast wholly followed the LORD my God.

¹⁰And now, behold, the LORD hath kept me alive, as he said, these forty and five years, even since the LORD spake this word unto Moses, while the children of Israel wandered in the wilderness: and now, lo, I am this day fourscore and five years old.

¹¹As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in.

Now although this is not totally out of the realms of possibility it is highly doubtful I suspect they are still using the two years per year system.

¹²Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the LORD spake in that day; for thou heardest in that day how the Anakims were there, and that the cities were great and fenced: if so be the LORD will be with me, then I shall be able to drive them out, as the LORD said.

¹³And Joshua blessed him, and gave unto Caleb the son of Jephunneh Hebron for an inheritance.

¹⁴Hebron therefore became the inheritance of Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite unto this day, because that he wholly followed the LORD God of Israel.

¹⁵And the name of Hebron before was Kirjatharba; which Arba was a great man among the Anakims. And the land had rest from war.

When you read this ,you can see it sort of romanticises the conquests. I can't help but wonder. If it contained graphic descriptions of the killings,tortures and rapes.Would it be so highly thought of ?

Joshua 13

¹Now Joshua was old and stricken in years; and the LORD said unto him, Thou art old and stricken in years, and there remaineth yet very much land to be possessed.

So de lard is able to state the blindingly obvious but apparently powerless to prevent Joshua from ageing before he has done the work of de lard or for that matter to help him hurry up a bit.

²This is the land that yet remaineth: all the borders of the Philistines, and all Geshuri,

Fuck I thought I was going to be able to take the piss but although it started well has deteriorated into yet another list

³From Sihor, which is before Egypt, even unto the borders of Ekron northward, which is counted to the Canaanite: five lords of the Philistines; the Gazathites, and the Ashdothites, the Eshkalonites, the Gittites, and the Ekronites; also the Avites:

⁴From the south, all the land of the Canaanites, and Mearah that is beside the Sidonians unto Aphek, to the borders of the Amorites:

⁵And the land of the Giblites, and all Lebanon, toward the sunrising, from Baalgad under mount Hermon unto the entering into Hamath.

⁶All the inhabitants of the hill country from Lebanon unto Misrephothmaim, and all the Sidonians, them will I drive out from before the children of Israel: only divide thou it by lot unto the Israelites for an inheritance, as I have commanded thee.

⁷Now therefore divide this land for an inheritance unto the nine tribes, and the half tribe of Manasseh,

What ? How the fuck can you have half a tribe, sure you can divide a tribe in half but once one half is gone then the half becomes the whole

⁸With whom the Reubenites and the Gadites have received their inheritance, which Moses gave them, beyond Jordan eastward, even as Moses the servant of the LORD gave them;

⁹From Aroer, that is upon the bank of the river Arnon, and the city that is in the midst of the river, and all the plain of Medeba unto Dibon;

¹⁰And all the cities of Sihon king of the Amorites, which reigned in Heshbon, unto the border of the children of Ammon;

¹¹And Gilead, and the border of the Geshurites and Maachathites, and all mount Hermon, and all Bashan unto Salcah;

¹²All the kingdom of Og in Bashan, which reigned in Ashtaroth and in Edrei, who remained of the remnant of the giants: for these did Moses smite, and cast them out.

¹³Nevertheless the children of Israel expelled not the Geshurites, nor the Maachathites: but the Geshurites and the Maachathites dwell among the Israelites until this day.

¹⁴Only unto the tribes of Levi he gave none inheritance; the sacrifices of the LORD God of Israel made by fire are their inheritance, as he said unto them.

¹⁵And Moses gave unto the tribe of the children of Reuben inheritance according to their families.

¹⁶And their coast was from Aroer, that is on the bank of the river Arnon, and the city that is in the midst of the river, and all the plain by Medeba;

¹⁷Heshbon, and all her cities that are in the plain; Dibon, and Bamothbaal, and Bethbaalmeon,

¹⁸And Jahaza, and Kedemoth, and Mephaath,

¹⁹And Kirjathaim, and Sibmah, and Zarethshahar in the mount of the valley,

²⁰And Bethpeor, and Ashdothpisgah, and Bethjeshimoth,

²¹And all the cities of the plain, and all the kingdom of Sihon king of the Amorites, which reigned in Heshbon, whom Moses smote with the princes of Midian, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, which were dukes of Sihon, dwelling in the country.

²²Balaam also the son of Beor, the soothsayer, did the children of Israel slay with the sword among them that were slain by them.

²³And the border of the children of Reuben was Jordan, and the border thereof. This was the inheritance of the children of Reuben after their families, the cities and the villages thereof.

²⁴And Moses gave inheritance unto the tribe of Gad, even unto the children of Gad according to their families.

²⁵And their coast was Jazer, and all the cities of Gilead, and half the land of the children of Ammon, unto Aroer that is before Rabbah;

²⁶And from Heshbon unto Ramathmizpeh, and Betonim; and from Mahanaim unto the border of Debir;

²⁷And in the valley, Betharam, and Bethnimrah, and Succoth, and Zaphon, the rest of the kingdom of Sihon king of Heshbon, Jordan and his border, even unto the edge of the sea of Chinnereth on the other side Jordan eastward.

²⁸This is the inheritance of the children of Gad after their families, the cities, and their villages.

²⁹And Moses gave inheritance unto the half tribe of Manasseh: and this was the possession of the half tribe of the children of Manasseh by their families.

³⁰And their coast was from Mahanaim, all Bashan, all the kingdom of Og king of Bashan, and all the towns of Jair, which are in Bashan, threescore cities:

³¹And half Gilead, and Ashtaroth, and Edrei, cities of the kingdom of Og in Bashan, were pertaining unto the children of Machir the son of Manasseh, even to the one half of the children of Machir by their families.

³²These are the countries which Moses did distribute for inheritance in the plains of Moab, on the other side Jordan, by Jericho, eastward.

³³But unto the tribe of Levi Moses gave not any inheritance: the LORD God of Israel was their inheritance, as he said unto them.

Wait a minute Moses gave this and Moses gave that. Fuck me! He is awfully generous considering he is dead and buried. Or is it as I suggested earlier Moses was not a name but a title.........Or is it just that one senile old megalomaniac looks the same as another

Joshua 12

¹Now these are the kings of the land, which the children of Israel smote, and possessed their land on the other side Jordan toward the rising of the sun, from the river Arnon unto mount Hermon, and all the plain on the east:

²Sihon king of the Amorites, who dwelt in Heshbon, and ruled from Aroer, which is upon the bank of the river Arnon, and from the middle of the river, and from half Gilead, even unto the river Jabbok, which is the border of the children of Ammon;

³And from the plain to the sea of Chinneroth on the east, and unto the sea of the plain, even the salt sea on the east, the way to Bethjeshimoth; and from the south, under Ashdothpisgah:

⁴And the coast of Og king of Bashan, which was of the remnant of the giants, that dwelt at Ashtaroth and at Edrei,

How did they come to the conclusion that giants is the correct translation ?By this I mean what we now think of as giants. Could it mean some other difference rather than gargantuan.

If they were actual giants or even particularly large men surely there would be some form of evidence. I dont even know if there is any evidence of a different race or ethnicity from the surrounding cities.

To be honest this whole saga spouts of a load of drunks sitting round a camp fire relating on how hard their ancestors were merging it with their small knowledge of history so the end up taking over the myth.

⁵And reigned in mount Hermon, and in Salcah, and in all Bashan, unto the border of the Geshurites and the Maachathites, and half Gilead, the border of Sihon king of Heshbon.

⁶Them did Moses the servant of the LORD and the children of Israel smite: and Moses the servant of the LORD gave it for a possession unto the Reubenites, and the Gadites, and the half tribe of Manasseh.

⁷And these are the kings of the country which Joshua and the children of Israel smote on this side Jordan on the west, from Baalgad in the valley of Lebanon even unto the mount Halak, that goeth up to Seir; which Joshua gave unto the tribes of Israel for a possession according to their divisions;

⁸In the mountains, and in the valleys, and in the plains, and in the springs, and in the wilderness, and in the south country; the Hittites, the Amorites, and the Canaanites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites:

⁹The king of Jericho, one; the king of Ai, which is beside Bethel, one;

¹⁰The king of Jerusalem, one; the king of Hebron, one;

¹¹The king of Jarmuth, one; the king of Lachish, one;

¹²The king of Eglon, one; the king of Gezer, one;

¹³The king of Debir, one; the king of Geder, one;

¹⁴The king of Hormah, one; the king of Arad, one;

¹⁵The king of Libnah, one; the king of Adullam, one;

¹⁶The king of Makkedah, one; the king of Bethel, one;

¹⁷The king of Tappuah, one; the king of Hepher, one;

¹⁸The king of Aphek, one; the king of Lasharon, one;

¹⁹The king of Madon, one; the king of Hazor, one;

²⁰The king of Shimronmeron, one; the king of Achshaph, one;

²¹The king of Taanach, one; the king of Megiddo, one;

²²The king of Kedesh, one; the king of Jokneam of Carmel, one;

²³The king of Dor in the coast of Dor, one; the king of the nations of Gilgal, one;

²⁴The king of Tirzah, one: all the kings thirty and one.

Yet again we have no more than a list of boasts. Yes, I now think this is real history but not the real history of the jews although they may have played a small part in it, aligning themselves with the invading "sea people"