2 Samuel 5

   ¹Then came all the tribes of Israel to David unto Hebron, and spake, saying, Behold, we are thy bone and thy flesh.
   ²Also in time past, when Saul was king over us, thou wast he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel: and the LORD said to thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel, and thou shalt be a captain over Israel.
   ³So all the elders of Israel came to the king to Hebron; and king David made a league with them in Hebron before the LORD: and they anointed David king over Israel.
   ⁴David was thirty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned forty years.
   ⁵In Hebron he reigned over Judah seven years and six months: and in Jerusalem he reigned thirty and three years over all Israel and Judah.
   ⁶And the king and his men went to Jerusalem unto the Jebusites, the inhabitants of the land: which spake unto David, saying, Except thou take away the blind and the lame, thou shalt not come in hither: thinking, David cannot come in hither.

Hmm the NLT has this....

    ⁶ David then led his men to Jerusalem to fight against the Jebusites, the original inhabitants of the land who were living there. The Jebusites taunted David, saying, “You’ll never get in here! Even the blind and lame could keep you out!” For the Jebusites thought they were safe.

   ⁷Nevertheless David took the strong hold of Zion: the same is the city of David.
   ⁸And David said on that day, Whosoever getteth up to the gutter, and smiteth the Jebusites, and the lame and the blind that are hated of David's soul, he shall be chief and captain. Wherefore they said, The blind and the lame shall not come into the house. 

  ⁸ On the day of the attack, David said to his troops, “I hate those ‘lame’ and ‘blind’ Jebusites. Whoever attacks them should strike by going into the city through the water tunnel.^[c]” That is the origin of the saying, “The blind and the lame may not enter the house.”

Now, correct me if I am wrong. There is a certain unsubtle differences in these two translations.

I read the KJV as saying David hates the crippled and the blind and the NLT, as  Davids men insulting the Jebusites by refering to them as lame and blind.

So what I want to know are we seeing medieval prejudice or pollitically correct influences on the "unchanged word of de lard" All I know is, someone, somewhere is full of shit.  

   ⁹So David dwelt in the fort, and called it the city of David. And David built round about from Millo and inward.
   ¹⁰And David went on, and grew great, and the LORD God of hosts was with him.
   ¹¹And Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and cedar trees, and carpenters, and masons: and they built David an house. 

Fuck me! Is this it, can this be the first person mentioned in the bible that we have supportive evidence for? See here
and here 

And why would Hiram of Tyre send David these "gifts"?, surely there must be a reason other than David had a cute arse.
 
   ¹²And David perceived that the LORD had established him king over Israel, and that he had exalted his kingdom for his people Israel's sake.

Are we?, and have we been talking about de lard or possibly Hiram that has been supporting David? 
 
   ¹³And David took him more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem, after he was come from Hebron: and there were yet sons and daughters born to David.

 Now being paid off with women? I'll bet there was more to it than just women.


   ¹⁴And these be the names of those that were born unto him in Jerusalem; Shammuah, and Shobab, and Nathan, and Solomon,
   ¹⁵Ibhar also, and Elishua, and Nepheg, and Japhia,
   ¹⁶And Elishama, and Eliada, and Eliphalet.
   ¹⁷But when the Philistines heard that they had anointed David king over Israel, all the Philistines came up to seek David; and David heard of it, and went down to the hold.
   ¹⁸The Philistines also came and spread themselves in the valley of Rephaim.
   ¹⁹And David enquired of the LORD, saying, Shall I go up to the Philistines? wilt thou deliver them into mine hand? And the LORD said unto David, Go up: for I will doubtless deliver the Philistines into thine hand.

You would have thought that David would have an obligation, if not fealty, at least some graditude for them sheltering him when Saul had a bounty on his head.
I keep doing this..I must remember, these are not normal people, things such as loyalty trust and gratitude are a one way expectation. 

   ²⁰And David came to Baalperazim, and David smote them there, and said, The LORD hath broken forth upon mine enemies before me, as the breach of waters. Therefore he called the name of that place Baalperazim.
   ²¹And there they left their images, and David and his men burned them.
   ²²And the Philistines came up yet again, and spread themselves in the valley of Rephaim.
   ²³And when David enquired of the LORD, he said, Thou shalt not go up; but fetch a compass behind them, and come upon them over against the mulberry trees.
   ²⁴And let it be, when thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees, that then thou shalt bestir thyself: for then shallthe L ORD go out before thee, to smite the host of the Philistines.

This again makes me think the Lord in question is Hiram, not de lard.

   ²⁵And David did so, as the LORD had commanded him; and smote the Philistines from Geba until thou come to Gazer.

1 Samuel 27

   ¹And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul: there is nothing better for me than that I should speedily escape into the land of the Philistines; and Saul shall despair of me, to seek me any more in any coast of Israel: so shall I escape out of his hand.

So David has finally realised that Saul cannot be trusted, but is going to hide with the Philistines?
The people he has had a number of successful battles with and been a pain the their collective arses.
 
   ²And David arose, and he passed over with the six hundred men that were with him unto Achish, the son of Maoch, king of Gath.

Achis? Achis who?

   ³And David dwelt with Achish at Gath, he and his men, every man with his household, even David with his two wives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the Carmelitess, Nabal's wife.
   ⁴And it was told Saul that David was fled to Gath: and he sought no more again for him.
   ⁵And David said unto Achish, If I have now found grace in thine eyes, let them give me a place in some town in the country, that I may dwell there: for why should thy servant dwell in the royal city with thee?

Give him?
The Philistines are cast as the bad guy's again and again throughout the David saga and also in later books. They are at least part of the ancestry of present day Palestine  Their name has come to mean uncultured and even anti culture and yet archeology has drawn different conclusions.
 
   ⁶Then Achish gave him Ziklag that day: wherefore Ziklag pertaineth unto the kings of Judah unto this day.
   ⁷And the time that David dwelt in the country of the Philistines was a full year and four months.
   ⁸And David and his men went up, and invaded the Geshurites, and the Gezrites, and the Amalekites: for those nations were of old the inhabitants of the land, as thou goest to Shur, even unto the land of Egypt.
   ⁹And David smote the land, and left neither man nor woman alive, and took away the sheep, and the oxen, and the asses, and the camels, and the apparel, and returned, and came to Achish.

Yet another "hero" committing theft and genocide. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
   ¹⁰And Achish said, Whither have ye made a road to day? And David said, Against the south of Judah, and against the south of the Jerahmeelites, and against the south of the Kenites.
   ¹¹And David saved neither man nor woman alive, to bring tidings to Gath, saying, Lest they should tell on us, saying, So did David, and so will be his manner all the while he dwelleth in the country of the Philistines.

   ¹²And Achish believed David, saying, He hath made his people Israel utterly to abhor him; therefore he shall be my servant for ever.