Genesis 2

Genesis 2

¹Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.
²And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.
³And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.
⁴These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,
⁵And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.
⁶But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.
⁷And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Is this in addition to the couple he made last week?

⁸And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.
⁹And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

Does that include the lofty pine and what about the larch?

¹⁰And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads.
¹¹The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold;

Gold? What the hell would he want that for?

¹²And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.
¹³And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia.
¹⁴And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.
¹⁵And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
¹⁶And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
¹⁷But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Is this a friendly warning or a threat? He never mentioned anything about the possibility of getting his dangly bits caught in the shears.

¹⁸And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
¹⁹And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

Not a wise move he already came up with bdellium and heddekal for what we now call hard and wet respectively.

²⁰And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
²¹And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

So why not just make her out of the ground like all the other animals? Whereas this seems more like some cloning type thing. Hang on, grown from a male rib the clone would be male too. Thats basic genetics so it was Adam and Steve.

²²And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

They never told me what they removed from Steve. I suppose technically it wasn't gay sex it would be masturbation. That's why the Human race are a bunch of wankers.

²³And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
²⁴Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

How does he know what a father and mother is ?

²⁵And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

So these other people he made in the first week ? Were they too stuck up to fraternise with the gardener