Judges 9

¹And Abimelech the son of Jerubbaal went to Shechem unto his mother's brethren, and communed with them, and with all the family of the house of his mother's father, saying,

²Speak, I pray you, in the ears of all the men of Shechem, Whether is better for you, either that all the sons of Jerubbaal, which are threescore and ten persons, reign over you, or that one reign over you? remember also that I am your bone and your flesh.

³And his mother's brethren spake of him in the ears of all the men of Shechem all these words: and their hearts inclined to follow Abimelech; for they said, He is our brother.

⁴And they gave him threescore and ten pieces of silver out of the house of Baalberith, wherewith Abimelech hired vain and light persons, which followed him.

⁵And he went unto his father's house at Ophrah, and slew his brethren the sons of Jerubbaal, being threescore and ten persons, upon one stone: notwithstanding yet Jotham the youngest son of Jerubbaal was left; for he hid himself.

So Abimelech asks his "brothers" to support his claim to be king which they do. He then repays their support by having them killed.

I can just see him now proclaiming "No New Axes"

⁶And all the men of Shechem gathered together, and all the house of Millo, and went, and made Abimelech king, by the plain of the pillar that was in Shechem.

⁷And when they told it to Jotham, he went and stood in the top of mount Gerizim, and lifted up his voice, and cried, and said unto them, Hearken unto me, ye men of Shechem, that God may hearken unto you.

Ah Jotham hiding in plain sight and in his grief.....

⁸The trees went forth on a time to anoint a king over them; and they said unto the olive tree, Reign thou over us.

⁹But the olive tree said unto them, Should I leave my fatness, wherewith by me they honour God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees?

¹⁰And the trees said to the fig tree, Come thou, and reign over us.

¹¹But the fig tree said unto them, Should I forsake my sweetness, and my good fruit, and go to be promoted over the trees?

¹²Then said the trees unto the vine, Come thou, and reign over us.

¹³And the vine said unto them, Should I leave my wine, which cheereth God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees?

¹⁴Then said all the trees unto the bramble, Come thou, and reign over us.

¹⁵And the bramble said unto the trees, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your trust in my shadow: and if not, let fire come out of the bramble, and devour the cedars of Lebanon.

...........rambles on about brambles

¹⁶Now therefore, if ye have done truly and sincerely, in that ye have made Abimelech king, and if ye have dealt well with Jerubbaal and his house, and have done unto him according to the deserving of his hands;

¹⁷(For my father fought for you, and adventured his life far, and delivered you out of the hand of Midian:

¹⁸And ye are risen up against my father's house this day, and have slain his sons, threescore and ten persons, upon one stone, and have made Abimelech, the son of his maidservant, king over the men of Shechem, because he is your brother;)

"the son of his maidservant" You mean he was a bastard ? Duet 23
contains many reasons why Abimelech should not be king

¹⁹If ye then have dealt truly and sincerely with Jerubbaal and with his house this day, then rejoice ye in Abimelech, and let him also rejoice in you:

²⁰But if not, let fire come out from Abimelech, and devour the men of Shechem, and the house of Millo; and let fire come out from the men of Shechem, and from the house of Millo, and devour Abimelech.

²¹And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

Mmmmmmm Beer!

²²When Abimelech had reigned three years over Israel,

²³Then God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the men of Shechem; and the men of Shechem dealt treacherously with Abimelech:

I think this verse means they had enough of his shit

²⁴That the cruelty done to the threescore and ten sons of Jerubbaal might come, and their blood be laid upon Abimelech their brother, which slew them; and upon the men of Shechem, which aided him in the killing of his brethren.

²⁵And the men of Shechem set liers in wait for him in the top of the mountains, and they robbed all that came along that way by them: and it was told Abimelech.

²⁶And Gaal the son of Ebed came with his brethren, and went over to Shechem: and the men of Shechem put their confidence in him.

²⁷And they went out into the fields, and gathered their vineyards, and trode the grapes, and made merry, and went into the house of their god, and did eat and drink, and cursed Abimelech.

²⁸And Gaal the son of Ebed said, Who is Abimelech, and who is Shechem, that we should serve him? is not he the son of Jerubbaal? and Zebul his officer? serve the men of Hamor the father of Shechem: for why should we serve him?

Who indeed is Abimelech ? I am wondering whether this is a myth within a myth. There is no reason to think other than a repetition of names, apart from the famine and the overthrown king

²⁹And would to God this people were under my hand! then would I remove Abimelech. And he said to Abimelech, Increase thine army, and come out.

³⁰And when Zebul the ruler of the city heard the words of Gaal the son of Ebed, his anger was kindled.

³¹And he sent messengers unto Abimelech privily, saying, Behold, Gaal the son of Ebed and his brethren be come to Shechem; and, behold, they fortify the city against thee.

³²Now therefore up by night, thou and the people that is with thee, and lie in wait in the field:

³³And it shall be, that in the morning, as soon as the sun is up, thou shalt rise early, and set upon the city: and, behold, when he and the people that is with him come out against thee, then mayest thou do to them as thou shalt find occasion.

It never ceases to amaze me, that a people that allegedly place so much importance on the so called laws of god and Moses can so easily forget them when things are not going the way they would like

³⁴And Abimelech rose up, and all the people that were with him, by night, and they laid wait against Shechem in four companies.

³⁵And Gaal the son of Ebed went out, and stood in the entering of the gate of the city: and Abimelech rose up, and the people that were with him, from lying in wait.

³⁶And when Gaal saw the people, he said to Zebul, Behold, there come people down from the top of the mountains. And Zebul said unto him, Thou seest the shadow of the mountains as if they were men.

³⁷And Gaal spake again, and said, See there come people down by the middle of the land, and another company come along by the plain of Meonenim.

³⁸Then said Zebul unto him, Where is now thy mouth, wherewith thou saidst, Who is Abimelech, that we should serve him? is not this the people that thou hast despised? go out, I pray now, and fight with them.

³⁹And Gaal went out before the men of Shechem, and fought with Abimelech.

⁴⁰And Abimelech chased him, and he fled before him, and many were overthrown and wounded, even unto the entering of the gate.

⁴¹And Abimelech dwelt at Arumah: and Zebul thrust out Gaal and his brethren, that they should not dwell in Shechem.

⁴²And it came to pass on the morrow, that the people went out into the field; and they told Abimelech.

⁴³And he took the people, and divided them into three companies, and laid wait in the field, and looked, and, behold, the people were come forth out of the city; and he rose up against them, and smote them.

⁴⁴And Abimelech, and the company that was with him, rushed forward, and stood in the entering of the gate of the city: and the two other companies ran upon all the people that were in the fields, and slew them.

⁴⁵And Abimelech fought against the city all that day; and he took the city, and slew the people that was therein, and beat down the city, and sowed it with salt.

⁴⁶And when all the men of the tower of Shechem heard that, they entered into an hold of the house of the god Berith.

That is the god Berith ;again the bible says other gods

⁴⁷And it was told Abimelech, that all the men of the tower of Shechem were gathered together.

⁴⁸And Abimelech gat him up to mount Zalmon, he and all the people that were with him; and Abimelech took an axe in his hand, and cut down a bough from the trees, and took it, and laid it on his shoulder, and said unto the people that were with him, What ye have seen me do, make haste, and do as I have done.

⁴⁹And all the people likewise cut down every man his bough, and followed Abimelech, and put them to the hold, and set the hold on fire upon them; so that all the men of the tower of Shechem died also, about a thousand men and women.

⁵⁰Then went Abimelech to Thebez, and encamped against Thebez, and took it.

⁵¹But there was a strong tower within the city, and thither fled all the men and women, and all they of the city, and shut it to them, and gat them up to the top of the tower.

⁵²And Abimelech came unto the tower, and fought against it, and went hard unto the door of the tower to burn it with fire.

⁵³And a certain woman cast a piece of a millstone upon Abimelech's head, and all to brake his skull.

⁵⁴Then he called hastily unto the young man his armourbearer, and said unto him, Draw thy sword, and slay me, that men say not of me, A women slew him. And his young man thrust him through, and he died.

Well I'll be buggered! After getting stoned by a woman, his dying wish was to be penetrated by a man.

⁵⁵And when the men of Israel saw that Abimelech was dead, they departed every man unto his place.

⁵⁶Thus God rendered the wickedness of Abimelech, which he did unto his father, in slaying his seventy brethren:

⁵⁷And all the evil of the men of Shechem did God render upon their heads: and upon them came the curse of Jotham the son of Jerubbaal.

Judges 8

First things first
Wishing A Very Good New Year To You All
Not been posting for a while.....No excuses just been having lots of fun....Celebrating solstice, our silver wedding and the new year

¹ Then the people of Ephraim asked Gideon, “Why have you treated us this way? Why didn’t you send for us when you first went out to fight the Midianites?” And they argued heatedly with Gideon.

I mean what good Israelite wants to be left at home when he can put in a hard days raping and pillaging.

² But Gideon replied, “What have I accomplished compared to you? Aren’t even the leftover grapes of Ephraim’s harvest better than the entire crop of my little clan of Abiezer? ³ God gave you victory over Oreb and Zeeb, the commanders of the Midianite army. What have I accomplished compared to that?” When the men of Ephraim heard Gideon’s answer, their anger subsided.

Really? No threats from de lard, not even a little bribery......

⁴ Gideon then crossed the Jordan River with his 300 men, and though exhausted, they continued to chase the enemy. ⁵ When they reached Succoth, Gideon asked the leaders of the town, “Please give my warriors some food. They are very tired. I am chasing Zebah and Zalmunna, the kings of Midian.”

⁶ But the officials of Succoth replied, “Catch Zebah and Zalmunna first, and then we will feed your army.”

Now these are the Isrealites of old.

⁷ So Gideon said, “After the Lord gives me victory over Zebah and Zalmunna, I will return and tear your flesh with the thorns and briers from the wilderness.”

⁸ From there Gideon went up to Peniel^[a] and again asked for food, but he got the same answer. ⁹ So he said to the people of Peniel, “After I return in victory, I will tear down this tower.”

You can't call a town Peniel unless it has a large erection.

¹⁰ By this time Zebah and Zalmunna were in Karkor with 15,000 warriors—all that remained of the allied armies of the east, for 120,000 had already been killed. ¹¹ Gideon circled around by the caravan route east of Nobah and Jogbehah, taking the Midianite army by surprise. ¹² Zebah and Zalmunna, the two Midianite kings, fled, but Gideon chased them down and captured all their warriors.

What?....How many?...... Did I not just read Gideon has 300 men?... Sniff that again, not camel but pure unadulterated bullshit.

¹³ After this, Gideon returned from the battle by way of Heres Pass.

¹⁴ There he captured a young man from Succoth and demanded that he write down the names of all the seventy-seven officials and elders in the town.

I guess Gideon would have been fucked if the guy was illiterate or home skuled

¹⁵ Gideon then returned to Succoth and said to the leaders, “Here are Zebah and Zalmunna. When we were here before, you taunted me, saying, ‘Catch Zebah and Zalmunna first, and then we will feed your exhausted army.’”

¹⁶ Then Gideon took the elders of the town and taught them a lesson, punishing them with thorns and briers from the wilderness.

¹⁷ He also tore down the tower of Peniel and killed all the men in the town.

Is this guy Gideon a real Israelite ?I mean an Israelite keeping his word????

¹⁸ Then Gideon asked Zebah and Zalmunna, “The men you killed at Tabor—what were they like?”

“Like you,” they replied. “They all had the look of a king’s son.”

¹⁹ “They were my brothers, the sons of my own mother!” Gideon exclaimed. “As surely as the Lord lives, I wouldn’t kill you if you hadn’t killed them.”

²⁰ Turning to Jether, his oldest son, he said, “Kill them!” But Jether did not draw his sword, for he was only a boy and was afraid.

²¹ Then Zebah and Zalmunna said to Gideon, “Be a man! Kill us yourself!” So Gideon killed them both and took the royal ornaments from the necks of their camels.

²² Then the Israelites said to Gideon, “Be our ruler! You and your son and your grandson will be our rulers, for you have rescued us from Midian.”

²³ But Gideon replied, “I will not rule over you, nor will my son. The Lord will rule over you!

²⁴ However, I do have one request—that each of you give me an earring from the plunder you collected from your fallen enemies.” (The enemies, being Ishmaelites, all wore gold earrings.)

²⁵ “Gladly!” they replied. They spread out a cloak, and each one threw in a gold earring he had gathered from the plunder. ²⁶ The weight of the gold earrings was forty-three pounds,^[b] not including the royal ornaments and pendants, the purple clothing worn by the kings of Midian, or the chains around the necks of their camels.

²⁷ Gideon made a sacred ephod from the gold and put it in Ophrah, his hometown. But soon all the Israelites prostituted themselves by worshiping it, and it became a trap for Gideon and his family.

He made a forty three pound apron??

²⁸ That is the story of how the people of Israel defeated Midian, which never recovered. Throughout the rest of Gideon’s lifetime—about forty years—there was peace in the land.

²⁹ Then Gideon^[c] son of Joash returned home. ³⁰ He had seventy sons born to him, for he had many wives. ³¹ He also had a concubine in Shechem, who gave birth to a son, whom he named Abimelech. ³² Gideon died when he was very old, and he was buried in the grave of his father, Joash, at Ophrah in the land of the clan of Abiezer.

³³ As soon as Gideon died, the Israelites prostituted themselves by worshiping the images of Baal, making Baal-berith their god.

So they worshipped de lard not out of love ,respect or fear of him, but because they were scared of Gideon

³⁴ They forgot the Lord their God, who had rescued them from all their enemies surrounding them.

"rescued"in the sense coerceing them into murdering and or enslaving

³⁵ Nor did they show any loyalty to the family of Jerub-baal (that is, Gideon), despite all the good he had done for Israel.