Joshua 13

¹Now Joshua was old and stricken in years; and the LORD said unto him, Thou art old and stricken in years, and there remaineth yet very much land to be possessed.

So de lard is able to state the blindingly obvious but apparently powerless to prevent Joshua from ageing before he has done the work of de lard or for that matter to help him hurry up a bit.

²This is the land that yet remaineth: all the borders of the Philistines, and all Geshuri,

Fuck I thought I was going to be able to take the piss but although it started well has deteriorated into yet another list

³From Sihor, which is before Egypt, even unto the borders of Ekron northward, which is counted to the Canaanite: five lords of the Philistines; the Gazathites, and the Ashdothites, the Eshkalonites, the Gittites, and the Ekronites; also the Avites:

⁴From the south, all the land of the Canaanites, and Mearah that is beside the Sidonians unto Aphek, to the borders of the Amorites:

⁵And the land of the Giblites, and all Lebanon, toward the sunrising, from Baalgad under mount Hermon unto the entering into Hamath.

⁶All the inhabitants of the hill country from Lebanon unto Misrephothmaim, and all the Sidonians, them will I drive out from before the children of Israel: only divide thou it by lot unto the Israelites for an inheritance, as I have commanded thee.

⁷Now therefore divide this land for an inheritance unto the nine tribes, and the half tribe of Manasseh,

What ? How the fuck can you have half a tribe, sure you can divide a tribe in half but once one half is gone then the half becomes the whole

⁸With whom the Reubenites and the Gadites have received their inheritance, which Moses gave them, beyond Jordan eastward, even as Moses the servant of the LORD gave them;

⁹From Aroer, that is upon the bank of the river Arnon, and the city that is in the midst of the river, and all the plain of Medeba unto Dibon;

¹⁰And all the cities of Sihon king of the Amorites, which reigned in Heshbon, unto the border of the children of Ammon;

¹¹And Gilead, and the border of the Geshurites and Maachathites, and all mount Hermon, and all Bashan unto Salcah;

¹²All the kingdom of Og in Bashan, which reigned in Ashtaroth and in Edrei, who remained of the remnant of the giants: for these did Moses smite, and cast them out.

¹³Nevertheless the children of Israel expelled not the Geshurites, nor the Maachathites: but the Geshurites and the Maachathites dwell among the Israelites until this day.

¹⁴Only unto the tribes of Levi he gave none inheritance; the sacrifices of the LORD God of Israel made by fire are their inheritance, as he said unto them.

¹⁵And Moses gave unto the tribe of the children of Reuben inheritance according to their families.

¹⁶And their coast was from Aroer, that is on the bank of the river Arnon, and the city that is in the midst of the river, and all the plain by Medeba;

¹⁷Heshbon, and all her cities that are in the plain; Dibon, and Bamothbaal, and Bethbaalmeon,

¹⁸And Jahaza, and Kedemoth, and Mephaath,

¹⁹And Kirjathaim, and Sibmah, and Zarethshahar in the mount of the valley,

²⁰And Bethpeor, and Ashdothpisgah, and Bethjeshimoth,

²¹And all the cities of the plain, and all the kingdom of Sihon king of the Amorites, which reigned in Heshbon, whom Moses smote with the princes of Midian, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, which were dukes of Sihon, dwelling in the country.

²²Balaam also the son of Beor, the soothsayer, did the children of Israel slay with the sword among them that were slain by them.

²³And the border of the children of Reuben was Jordan, and the border thereof. This was the inheritance of the children of Reuben after their families, the cities and the villages thereof.

²⁴And Moses gave inheritance unto the tribe of Gad, even unto the children of Gad according to their families.

²⁵And their coast was Jazer, and all the cities of Gilead, and half the land of the children of Ammon, unto Aroer that is before Rabbah;

²⁶And from Heshbon unto Ramathmizpeh, and Betonim; and from Mahanaim unto the border of Debir;

²⁷And in the valley, Betharam, and Bethnimrah, and Succoth, and Zaphon, the rest of the kingdom of Sihon king of Heshbon, Jordan and his border, even unto the edge of the sea of Chinnereth on the other side Jordan eastward.

²⁸This is the inheritance of the children of Gad after their families, the cities, and their villages.

²⁹And Moses gave inheritance unto the half tribe of Manasseh: and this was the possession of the half tribe of the children of Manasseh by their families.

³⁰And their coast was from Mahanaim, all Bashan, all the kingdom of Og king of Bashan, and all the towns of Jair, which are in Bashan, threescore cities:

³¹And half Gilead, and Ashtaroth, and Edrei, cities of the kingdom of Og in Bashan, were pertaining unto the children of Machir the son of Manasseh, even to the one half of the children of Machir by their families.

³²These are the countries which Moses did distribute for inheritance in the plains of Moab, on the other side Jordan, by Jericho, eastward.

³³But unto the tribe of Levi Moses gave not any inheritance: the LORD God of Israel was their inheritance, as he said unto them.

Wait a minute Moses gave this and Moses gave that. Fuck me! He is awfully generous considering he is dead and buried. Or is it as I suggested earlier Moses was not a name but a title.........Or is it just that one senile old megalomaniac looks the same as another

Joshua 12

¹Now these are the kings of the land, which the children of Israel smote, and possessed their land on the other side Jordan toward the rising of the sun, from the river Arnon unto mount Hermon, and all the plain on the east:

²Sihon king of the Amorites, who dwelt in Heshbon, and ruled from Aroer, which is upon the bank of the river Arnon, and from the middle of the river, and from half Gilead, even unto the river Jabbok, which is the border of the children of Ammon;

³And from the plain to the sea of Chinneroth on the east, and unto the sea of the plain, even the salt sea on the east, the way to Bethjeshimoth; and from the south, under Ashdothpisgah:

⁴And the coast of Og king of Bashan, which was of the remnant of the giants, that dwelt at Ashtaroth and at Edrei,

How did they come to the conclusion that giants is the correct translation ?By this I mean what we now think of as giants. Could it mean some other difference rather than gargantuan.

If they were actual giants or even particularly large men surely there would be some form of evidence. I dont even know if there is any evidence of a different race or ethnicity from the surrounding cities.

To be honest this whole saga spouts of a load of drunks sitting round a camp fire relating on how hard their ancestors were merging it with their small knowledge of history so the end up taking over the myth.

⁵And reigned in mount Hermon, and in Salcah, and in all Bashan, unto the border of the Geshurites and the Maachathites, and half Gilead, the border of Sihon king of Heshbon.

⁶Them did Moses the servant of the LORD and the children of Israel smite: and Moses the servant of the LORD gave it for a possession unto the Reubenites, and the Gadites, and the half tribe of Manasseh.

⁷And these are the kings of the country which Joshua and the children of Israel smote on this side Jordan on the west, from Baalgad in the valley of Lebanon even unto the mount Halak, that goeth up to Seir; which Joshua gave unto the tribes of Israel for a possession according to their divisions;

⁸In the mountains, and in the valleys, and in the plains, and in the springs, and in the wilderness, and in the south country; the Hittites, the Amorites, and the Canaanites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites:

⁹The king of Jericho, one; the king of Ai, which is beside Bethel, one;

¹⁰The king of Jerusalem, one; the king of Hebron, one;

¹¹The king of Jarmuth, one; the king of Lachish, one;

¹²The king of Eglon, one; the king of Gezer, one;

¹³The king of Debir, one; the king of Geder, one;

¹⁴The king of Hormah, one; the king of Arad, one;

¹⁵The king of Libnah, one; the king of Adullam, one;

¹⁶The king of Makkedah, one; the king of Bethel, one;

¹⁷The king of Tappuah, one; the king of Hepher, one;

¹⁸The king of Aphek, one; the king of Lasharon, one;

¹⁹The king of Madon, one; the king of Hazor, one;

²⁰The king of Shimronmeron, one; the king of Achshaph, one;

²¹The king of Taanach, one; the king of Megiddo, one;

²²The king of Kedesh, one; the king of Jokneam of Carmel, one;

²³The king of Dor in the coast of Dor, one; the king of the nations of Gilgal, one;

²⁴The king of Tirzah, one: all the kings thirty and one.

Yet again we have no more than a list of boasts. Yes, I now think this is real history but not the real history of the jews although they may have played a small part in it, aligning themselves with the invading "sea people"

Joshua 11

¹And it came to pass, when Jabin king of Hazor had heard those things, that he sent to Jobab king of Madon, and to the king of Shimron, and to the king of Achshaph,

²And to the kings that were on the north of the mountains, and of the plains south of Chinneroth, and in the valley, and in the borders of Dor on the west,

³And to the Canaanite on the east and on the west, and to the Amorite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, and the Jebusite in the mountains, and to the Hivite under Hermon in the land of Mizpeh.

⁴And they went out, they and all their hosts with them, much people, even as the sand that is upon the sea shore in multitude, with horses and chariots very many.

⁵And when all these kings were met together, they came and pitched together at the waters of Merom, to fight against Israel.

A formidable force, one that must have outnumbered the Israelites. This factor alone would make you think victory was in their court.

⁶And the LORD said unto Joshua, Be not afraid because of them: for to morrow about this time will I deliver them up all slain before Israel: thou shalt hough their horses, and burn their chariots with fire.

⁷So Joshua came, and all the people of war with him, against them by the waters of Merom suddenly; and they fell upon them.

⁸And the LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel, who smote them, and chased them unto great Zidon, and unto Misrephothmaim, and unto the valley of Mizpeh eastward; and they smote them, until they left them none remaining.

But you have to remember, the Israelites by now, have evolved from a rampaging mob to an experienced battle hardened army.

⁹And Joshua did unto them as the LORD bade him: he houghed their horses, and burnt their chariots with fire.

¹⁰And Joshua at that time turned back, and took Hazor, and smote the king thereof with the sword: for Hazor beforetime was the head of all those kingdoms.

¹¹And they smote all the souls that were therein with the edge of the sword, utterly destroying them: there was not any left to breathe: and he burnt Hazor with fire.

¹²And all the cities of those kings, and all the kings of them, did Joshua take, and smote them with the edge of the sword, and he utterly destroyed them, as Moses the servant of the LORD commanded.

¹³But as for the cities that stood still in their strength, Israel burned none of them, save Hazor only; that did Joshua burn.

¹⁴And all the spoil of these cities, and the cattle, the children of Israel took for a prey unto themselves; but every man they smote with the edge of the sword, until they had destroyed them, neither left they any to breathe.

¹⁵As the LORD commanded Moses his servant, so did Moses command Joshua, and so did Joshua; he left nothing undone of all that the LORD commanded Moses.

¹⁶So Joshua took all that land, the hills, and all the south country, and all the land of Goshen, and the valley, and the plain, and the mountain of Israel, and the valley of the same;

¹⁷Even from the mount Halak, that goeth up to Seir, even unto Baalgad in the valley of Lebanon under mount Hermon: and all their kings he took, and smote them, and slew them.

¹⁸Joshua made war a long time with all those kings.

¹⁹There was not a city that made peace with the children of Israel, save the Hivites the inhabitants of Gibeon: all other they took in battle.

²⁰For it was of the LORD to harden their hearts, that they should come against Israel in battle, that he might destroy them utterly, and that they might have no favour, but that he might destroy them, as the LORD commanded Moses.

²¹And at that time came Joshua, and cut off the Anakims from the mountains, from Hebron, from Debir, from Anab, and from all the mountains of Judah, and from all the mountains of Israel: Joshua destroyed them utterly with their cities.

²²There was none of the Anakims left in the land of the children of Israel: only in Gaza, in Gath, and in Ashdod, there remained.

²³So Joshua took the whole land, according to all that the LORD said unto Moses; and Joshua gave it for an inheritance unto Israel according to their divisions by their tribes. And the land rested from war.

There really is not much to say about this chapter. It states plain and simply that Joshua continued his murderous rape of the land, it does however make me question the historical view that the Armarna letters are from a later period.It certainly follows to me if, as I suspect the destruction of Thera now Santorini, left a power vacuum and once the more "civilized" cities had re-established a pecking order they would now want to extend what was mainly a coastal empire, inland. I wonder whether the (possibly) two events have been merged through the retelling. I suppose that is something for archeology to reveal.

Joshua 10

¹Now it came to pass, when Adonizedec king of Jerusalem had heard how Joshua had taken Ai, and had utterly destroyed it; as he had done to Jericho and her king, so he had done to Ai and her king; and how the inhabitants of Gibeon had made peace with Israel, and were among them;

²That they feared greatly, because Gibeon was a great city, as one of the royal cities, and because it was greater than Ai, and all the men thereof were mighty.

Thus the power of propaganda, just think, if Gibeon had joined forces with Ai they may have wiped the Israelites off the face of the earth. There might now be peace in Palestine the world might be worshipping Baal and I would be calling myself Yahweh's Arse.

³Wherefore Adonizedec king of Jerusalem, sent unto Hoham king of Hebron, and unto Piram king of Jarmuth, and unto Japhia king of Lachish, and unto Debir king of Eglon, saying,

⁴Come up unto me, and help me, that we may smite Gibeon: for it hath made peace with Joshua and with the children of Israel.

⁵Therefore the five kings of the Amorites, the king of Jerusalem, the king of Hebron, the king of Jarmuth, the king of Lachish, the king of Eglon, gathered themselves together, and went up, they and all their hosts, and encamped before Gibeon, and made war against it.

⁶And the men of Gibeon sent unto Joshua to the camp to Gilgal, saying, Slack not thy hand from thy servants; come up to us quickly, and save us, and help us: for all the kings of the Amorites that dwell in the mountains are gathered together against us.

⁷So Joshua ascended from Gilgal, he, and all the people of war with him, and all the mighty men of valour.

⁸And the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them into thine hand; there shall not a man of them stand before thee.

⁹Joshua therefore came unto them suddenly, and went up from Gilgal all night.

¹⁰And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way that goeth up to Bethhoron, and smote them to Azekah, and unto Makkedah.

¹¹And it came to pass, as they fled from before Israel, and were in the going down to Bethhoron, that the LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them unto Azekah, and they died: they were more which died with hailstones than they whom the children of Israel slew with the sword.

I have got to query this. While hailstones would be common knowledge in England during the seventeenth century when the bible translation was commissioned, I cannot help but doubt the occurrence of hailstones and wondering how much earlier understanding of the Latin/Greek translations has coloured later translations. Would it perhaps be more of a possibility that using the same methods by which they blocked the Jordan the created an avalanche. The so called hailstones being actual stones and boulders.

¹²Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.

¹³And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.

This of course is impossible, not a miracle but pure and utter bullshit. But to be honest,quite understandable if you have the geocentric view of the average ill-educated camel shagger. To them the sun was a small round disc moving across the sky. Not as we now know a massive ball which the earth orbits rotating as it goes.

If such an event had happened then it would have been recorded the world over.As with many of de lards so called miracles there is nob all to support them

¹⁴And there was no day like that before it or after it, that the LORD hearkened unto the voice of a man: for the LORD fought for Israel.

¹⁵And Joshua returned, and all Israel with him, unto the camp to Gilgal.

¹⁶But these five kings fled, and hid themselves in a cave at Makkedah.

¹⁷And it was told Joshua, saying, The five kings are found hid in a cave at Makkedah.

¹⁸And Joshua said, Roll great stones upon the mouth of the cave, and set men by it for to keep them:

¹⁹And stay ye not, but pursue after your enemies, and smite the hindmost of them; suffer them not to enter into their cities: for the LORD your God hath delivered them into your hand.

²⁰And it came to pass, when Joshua and the children of Israel had made an end of slaying them with a very great slaughter, till they were consumed, that the rest which remained of them entered into fenced cities.

²¹And all the people returned to the camp to Joshua at Makkedah in peace: none moved his tongue against any of the children of Israel.

²²Then said Joshua, Open the mouth of the cave, and bring out those five kings unto me out of the cave.

²³And they did so, and brought forth those five kings unto him out of the cave, the king of Jerusalem, the king of Hebron, the king of Jarmuth, the king of Lachish, and the king of Eglon.

²⁴And it came to pass, when they brought out those kings unto Joshua, that Joshua called for all the men of Israel, and said unto the captains of the men of war which went with him, Come near, put your feet upon the necks of these kings. And they came near, and put their feet upon the necks of them.

²⁵And Joshua said unto them, Fear not, nor be dismayed, be strong and of good courage: for thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies against whom ye fight.

²⁶And afterward Joshua smote them, and slew them, and hanged them on five trees: and they were hanging upon the trees until the evening.

²⁷And it came to pass at the time of the going down of the sun, that Joshua commanded, and they took them down off the trees, and cast them into the cave wherein they had been hid, and laid great stones in the cave's mouth, which remain until this very day.

²⁸And that day Joshua took Makkedah, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and the king thereof he utterly destroyed, them, and all the souls that were therein; he let none remain: and he did to the king of Makkedah as he did unto the king of Jericho.

²⁹Then Joshua passed from Makkedah, and all Israel with him, unto Libnah, and fought against Libnah:

³⁰And the LORD delivered it also, and the king thereof, into the hand of Israel; and he smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein; he let none remain in it; but did unto the king thereof as he did unto the king of Jericho.

³¹And Joshua passed from Libnah, and all Israel with him, unto Lachish, and encamped against it, and fought against it:

³²And the LORD delivered Lachish into the hand of Israel, which took it on the second day, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein, according to all that he had done to Libnah.

³³Then Horam king of Gezer came up to help Lachish; and Joshua smote him and his people, until he had left him none remaining.

³⁴And from Lachish Joshua passed unto Eglon, and all Israel with him; and they encamped against it, and fought against it:

³⁵And they took it on that day, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein he utterly destroyed that day, according to all that he had done to Lachish.

³⁶And Joshua went up from Eglon, and all Israel with him, unto Hebron; and they fought against it:

³⁷And they took it, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and the king thereof, and all the cities thereof, and all the souls that were therein; he left none remaining, according to all that he had done to Eglon; but destroyed it utterly, and all the souls that were therein.

³⁸And Joshua returned, and all Israel with him, to Debir; and fought against it:

³⁹And he took it, and the king thereof, and all the cities thereof; and they smote them with the edge of the sword, and utterly destroyed all the souls that were therein; he left none remaining: as he had done to Hebron, so he did to Debir, and to the king thereof; as he had done also to Libnah, and to her king.

⁴⁰So Joshua smote all the country of the hills, and of the south, and of the vale, and of the springs, and all their kings: he left none remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the LORD God of Israel commanded.

⁴¹And Joshua smote them from Kadeshbarnea even unto Gaza, and all the country of Goshen, even unto Gibeon.

⁴²And all these kings and their land did Joshua take at one time, because the LORD God of Israel fought for Israel.

⁴³And Joshua returned, and all Israel with him, unto the camp to Gilgal.

Joshua 9

¹And it came to pass, when all the kings which were on this side Jordan, in the hills, and in the valleys, and in all the coasts of the great sea over against Lebanon, the Hittite, and the Amorite, the Canaanite, the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite, heard thereof;

²That they gathered themselves together, to fight with Joshua and with Israel, with one accord.

Who could blame them

³And when the inhabitants of Gibeon heard what Joshua had done unto Jericho and to Ai,

⁴They did work wilily, and went and made as if they had been ambassadors, and took old sacks upon their asses, and wine bottles, old, and rent, and bound up;

⁵And old shoes and clouted upon their feet, and old garments upon them; and all the bread of their provision was dry and mouldy.

Have I got this right ?...........Supplicants are sent to the Israelites. Pretending to be from a land far far away. For provenance they carry mouldy bread and wear old shoes.

⁶And they went to Joshua unto the camp at Gilgal, and said unto him, and to the men of Israel, We be come from a far country: now therefore make ye a league with us.

⁷And the men of Israel said unto the Hivites, Peradventure ye dwell among us; and how shall we make a league with you?

⁸And they said unto Joshua, We are thy servants. And Joshua said unto them, Who are ye? and from whence come ye?

⁹And they said unto him, From a very far country thy servants are come because of the name of the LORD thy God: for we have heard the fame of him, and all that he did in Egypt,

¹⁰And all that he did to the two kings of the Amorites, that were beyond Jordan, to Sihon king of Heshbon, and to Og king of Bashan, which was at Ashtaroth.

¹¹Wherefore our elders and all the inhabitants of our country spake to us, saying, Take victuals with you for the journey, and go to meet them, and say unto them, We are your servants: therefore now make ye a league with us.

¹²This our bread we took hot for our provision out of our houses on the day we came forth to go unto you; but now, behold, it is dry, and it is mouldy:

¹³And these bottles of wine, which we filled, were new; and, behold, they be rent: and these our garments and our shoes are become old by reason of the very long journey.

Well I am convinced!!...........Who could doubt the veracity of such a story.

¹⁴And the men took of their victuals, and asked not counsel at the mouth of the LORD.

¹⁵And Joshua made peace with them, and made a league with them, to let them live: and the princes of the congregation sware unto them.

Cos we all know you can trust the word of the Israelites.

¹⁶And it came to pass at the end of three days after they had made a league with them, that they heard that they were their neighbours, and that they dwelt among them.

It took three days, I am always suspicious when these "mystical numbers" occur, is this supposed to have happened at the winter solstice by any chance ?

¹⁷And the children of Israel journeyed, and came unto their cities on the third day. Now their cities were Gibeon, and Chephirah, and Beeroth, and Kirjathjearim.

¹⁸And the children of Israel smote them not, because the princes of the congregation had sworn unto them by the LORD God of Israel. And all the congregation murmured against the princes.

I thought one of the reasons given for this "campaign" was to kill the unbelievers that break the commandments of de lard. I am sure there was one about not bearing false witness, and yet again we have the servants of de lard rewarding deceit.

¹⁹But all the princes said unto all the congregation, We have sworn unto them by the LORD God of Israel: now therefore we may not touch them.

Since when was the Israelites, or de lards worth as much as half a wank ? Why this sudden attack of honour ? I suspect as with many of these tales, there is something we are not being told.

Things like ....How many men were lost, or wounded enough not to be able to fight during the battle of Ai ?

Would the combined might of the four cities be able to cast serious doubt on the outcome of any battle ?

There must have been some time before the supplicants arrived, was the combined time enough for these cities to gain support or a promise of retribution from a larger force, possibly an existing empire ?

So regardless of the suggestion I suspect cowardice as the reason for allowing these cities to become slaves, as opposed to their initial orders to "execute every motherfuckin' last one of them".

²⁰This we will do to them; we will even let them live, lest wrath be upon us, because of the oath which we sware unto them.

²¹And the princes said unto them, Let them live; but let them be hewers of wood and drawers of water unto all the congregation; as the princes had promised them.

²²And Joshua called for them, and he spake unto them, saying, Wherefore have ye beguiled us, saying, We are very far from you; when ye dwell among us?

Joshua has already shown himself to be a superior tactician, so it follows that he is an intelligent man. So why does he ask this ? to paraphrase "why did you lie to me" has got to go down in the annals of history as one of the most stupidest questions ever asked by a major leader of men, until of course GW Bush hit the world stage.

²³Now therefore ye are cursed, and there shall none of you be freed from being bondmen, and hewers of wood and drawers of water for the house of my God.

²⁴And they answered Joshua, and said, Because it was certainly told thy servants, how that the LORD thy God commanded his servant Moses to give you all the land, and to destroy all the inhabitants of the land from before you, therefore we were sore afraid of our lives because of you, and have done this thing.

Careful boys, Moses never liked people admitting doubt in de lard.

²⁵And now, behold, we are in thine hand: as it seemeth good and right unto thee to do unto us, do.

Unless of course they now say they are behind him.

²⁶And so did he unto them, and delivered them out of the hand of the children of Israel, that they slew them not.

²⁷And Joshua made them that day hewers of wood and drawers of water for the congregation, and for the altar of the LORD, even unto this day, in the place which he should choose.

Joshua 8

¹And the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear not, neither be thou dismayed: take all the people of war with thee, and arise, go up to Ai: see, I have given into thy hand the king of Ai, and his people, and his city, and his land:

²And thou shalt do to Ai and her king as thou didst unto Jericho and her king: only the spoil thereof, and the cattle thereof, shall ye take for a prey unto yourselves: lay thee an ambush for the city behind it.

³So Joshua arose, and all the people of war, to go up against Ai: and Joshua chose out thirty thousand mighty men of valour, and sent them away by night.

So what Josh has done is to have shown them that if they dare to run away again, he will no doubt find someone else who has "accidently" pocketed something he should either have burned or handed over. At least if they die in battle they had a fighting chance.

⁴And he commanded them, saying, Behold, ye shall lie in wait against the city, even behind the city: go not very far from the city, but be ye all ready:

⁵And I, and all the people that are with me, will approach unto the city: and it shall come to pass, when they come out against us, as at the first, that we will flee before them,

⁶(For they will come out after us) till we have drawn them from the city; for they will say, They flee before us, as at the first: therefore we will flee before them.

⁷Then ye shall rise up from the ambush, and seize upon the city: for the LORD your God will deliver it into your hand.

Thirty thousand "men of valour" to sack an unguarded city mainly full of women and children. Perhaps valour meant sick genocidal bastards back when the kjv was translated.

⁸And it shall be, when ye have taken the city, that ye shall set the city on fire: according to the commandment of the LORD shall ye do. See, I have commanded you.

This i struggle to understand. If they wanted the city to live in I can see a reason, not a reason I can agree with but a reason all the same. If it was about conquest, why kill the conquered ? But it seems to be mostly about the gold, with destruction and murder as part of the reward.

⁹Joshua therefore sent them forth: and they went to lie in ambush, and abode between Bethel and Ai, on the west side of Ai: but Joshua lodged that night among the people.

¹⁰And Joshua rose up early in the morning, and numbered the people, and went up, he and the elders of Israel, before the people to Ai.

¹¹And all the people, even the people of war that were with him, went up, and drew nigh, and came before the city, and pitched on the north side of Ai: now there was a valley between them and Ai.

¹²And he took about five thousand men, and set them to lie in ambush between Bethel and Ai, on the west side of the city.

¹³And when they had set the people, even all the host that was on the north of the city, and their liers in wait on the west of the city, Joshua went that night into the midst of the valley.

¹⁴And it came to pass, when the king of Ai saw it, that they hasted and rose up early, and the men of the city went out against Israel to battle, he and all his people, at a time appointed, before the plain; but he wist not that there were liers in ambush against him behind the city.

¹⁵And Joshua and all Israel made as if they were beaten before them, and fled by the way of the wilderness.

¹⁶And all the people that were in Ai were called together to pursue after them: and they pursued after Joshua, and were drawn away from the city.

¹⁷And there was not a man left in Ai or Bethel, that went not out after Israel: and they left the city open, and pursued after Israel.

¹⁸And the LORD said unto Joshua, Stretch out the spear that is in thy hand toward Ai; for I will give it into thine hand. And Joshua stretched out the spear that he had in his hand toward the city.

¹⁹And the ambush arose quickly out of their place, and they ran as soon as he had stretched out his hand: and they entered into the city, and took it, and hasted and set the city on fire.

²⁰And when the men of Ai looked behind them, they saw, and, behold, the smoke of the city ascended up to heaven, and they had no power to flee this way or that way: and the people that fled to the wilderness turned back upon the pursuers.

²¹And when Joshua and all Israel saw that the ambush had taken the city, and that the smoke of the city ascended, then they turned again, and slew the men of Ai.

²²And the other issued out of the city against them; so they were in the midst of Israel, some on this side, and some on that side: and they smote them, so that they let none of them remain or escape.

²³And the king of Ai they took alive, and brought him to Joshua.

²⁴And it came to pass, when Israel had made an end of slaying all the inhabitants of Ai in the field, in the wilderness wherein they chased them, and when they were all fallen on the edge of the sword, until they were consumed, that all the Israelites returned unto Ai, and smote it with the edge of the sword.

²⁵And so it was, that all that fell that day, both of men and women, were twelve thousand, even all the men of Ai.

²⁶For Joshua drew not his hand back, wherewith he stretched out the spear, until he had utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of Ai.

²⁷Only the cattle and the spoil of that city Israel took for a prey unto themselves, according unto the word of the LORD which he commanded Joshua.

I cant fault the tactics. Similar tactics have been used time and again throughout history, and have continued to work time and again.

However. It is an occurrence that disgusts me. I find this story as difficult to understand as the atrocities committed by the Nazi's in WW2, and certainly no more justifiable.

²⁸And Joshua burnt Ai, and made it an heap for ever, even a desolation unto this day.

²⁹And the king of Ai he hanged on a tree until eventide: and as soon as the sun was down, Joshua commanded that they should take his carcase down from the tree, and cast it at the entering of the gate of the city, and raise thereon a great heap of stones, that remaineth unto this day.

³⁰Then Joshua built an altar unto the LORD God of Israel in mount Ebal,

³¹As Moses the servant of the LORD commanded the children of Israel, as it is written in the book of the law of Moses, an altar of whole stones, over which no man hath lift up any iron: and they offered thereon burnt offerings unto the LORD, and sacrificed peace offerings.

³²And he wrote there upon the stones a copy of the law of Moses, which he wrote in the presence of the children of Israel.

Has anyone unearthed a stone in the area with the words"Thou shalt be Cunts" inscribed

³³And all Israel, and their elders, and officers, and their judges, stood on this side the ark and on that side before the priests the Levites, which bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD, as well the stranger, as he that was born among them; half of them over against mount Gerizim, and half of them over against mount Ebal; as Moses the servant of the LORD had commanded before, that they should bless the people of Israel.

³⁴And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessings and cursings, according to all that is written in the book of the law.

All these laws telling you what you can and can't do to, or with who. I have said it before you only need two laws.

³⁵There was not a word of all that Moses commanded, which Joshua read not before all the congregation of Israel, with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them.

Who the fuck are these strangers ?

Joshua 7

¹But the children of Israel committed a trespass in the accursed thing: for Achan, the son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took of the accursed thing: and the anger of the LORD was kindled against the children of Israel.

Would it have been too much to ask to be told what accursed thing? I mean de lard is so touchy about so many things. For fucks sake give us a clue.What did he do ?Eat a bacon sammich.

Whatever it was I'll be betting it's used as an excuse for Josh's men getting an arse kicking.

²And Joshua sent men from Jericho to Ai, which is beside Bethaven, on the east of Bethel, and spake unto them, saying, Go up and view the country. And the men went up and viewed Ai.

³And they returned to Joshua, and said unto him, Let not all the people go up; but let about two or three thousand men go up and smite Ai; and make not all the people to labour thither; for they are but few.

⁴So there went up thither of the people about three thousand men: and they fled before the men of Ai.

What ? Did the Israelites only outnumber the men of Ai ten to one ? Or were these men that actually fought back instead of being cosseted city dwellers ?

⁵And the men of Ai smote of them about thirty and six men: for they chased them from before the gate even unto Shebarim, and smote them in the going down: wherefore the hearts of the people melted, and became as water.

De lard is still struggling with biology then !

⁶And Joshua rent his clothes, and fell to the earth upon his face before the ark of the LORD until the eventide, he and the elders of Israel, and put dust upon their heads.

So Josh definitely following the degree of sanity displayed by past servants of de lard.

⁷And Joshua said, Alas, O LORD God, wherefore hast thou at all brought this people over Jordan, to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us? would to God we had been content, and dwelt on the other side Jordan!

Joshua and Moses before him have murdered the inhabitants of how many cities ? Enslaved some of the pretty girls with no thought to how they may feel about the loss of their loved ones. Not to mention the thousands Moses apparently murdered after the minor revolt in Numbers 16 and yet like his god is behaving like a teenage girl because he has lost about 0.1% of the murdering bastards he sent to do more murdering.

⁸O LORD, what shall I say, when Israel turneth their backs before their enemies!

⁹For the Canaanites and all the inhabitants of the land shall hear of it, and shall environ us round, and cut off our name from the earth: and what wilt thou do unto thy great name?

¹⁰And the LORD said unto Joshua, Get thee up; wherefore liest thou thus upon thy face?

¹¹Israel hath sinned, and they have also transgressed my covenant which I commanded them: for they have even taken of the accursed thing, and have also stolen, and dissembled also, and they have put it even among their own stuff.

Incredible isn't it ? de lard couldn't find Adam and Steve in the garden of eden when it was alleged there was no-one else around, and yet can pick out one guy slipping a few coffers and a posh frock into his back pack amidst a hoard of bastards murdering, raping ,pillaging and burning.Which is fine as long as all pillaging is declared so the levites who are bravely staying at home get their 10%.

Oh no! That's slanderous. After all it's not the levites that get all the precious things, it's de lard. Cos we all know how much the malevolent, omnipotent, spiritual entity needs his gold and silver

¹²Therefore the children of Israel could not stand before their enemies, but turned their backs before their enemies, because they were accursed: neither will I be with you any more, except ye destroy the accursed from among you.

So they got their arses kicked not because the men of Ai were in a superior tactical position, or because they are a bunch of cowards but because one man decided he wanted more out of the atrocities he was committing than just murder and rape.

¹³Up, sanctify the people, and say, Sanctify yourselves against to morrow: for thus saith the LORD God of Israel, There is an accursed thing in the midst of thee, O Israel: thou canst not stand before thine enemies, until ye take away the accursed thing from among you.

¹⁴In the morning therefore ye shall be brought according to your tribes: and it shall be, that the tribe which the LORD taketh shall come according to the families thereof; and the family which the LORD shall take shall come by households; and the household which the LORD shall take shall come man by man.

¹⁵And it shall be, that he that is taken with the accursed thing shall be burnt with fire, he and all that he hath: because he hath transgressed the covenant of the LORD, and because he hath wrought folly in Israel.

¹⁶So Joshua rose up early in the morning, and brought Israel by their tribes; and the tribe of Judah was taken:

¹⁷And he brought the family of Judah; and he took the family of the Zarhites: and he brought the family of the Zarhites man by man; and Zabdi was taken:

¹⁸And he brought his household man by man; and Achan, the son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, was taken.

¹⁹And Joshua said unto Achan, My son, give, I pray thee, glory to the LORD God of Israel, and make confession unto him; and tell me now what thou hast done; hide it not from me.

²⁰And Achan answered Joshua, and said, Indeed I have sinned against the LORD God of Israel, and thus and thus have I done:

²¹When I saw among the spoils a goodly Babylonish garment, and two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels weight, then I coveted them, and took them; and, behold, they are hid in the earth in the midst of my tent, and the silver under it.

²²So Joshua sent messengers, and they ran unto the tent; and, behold, it was hid in his tent, and the silver under it.

²³And they took them out of the midst of the tent, and brought them unto Joshua, and unto all the children of Israel, and laid them out before the LORD.

²⁴And Joshua, and all Israel with him, took Achan the son of Zerah, and the silver, and the garment, and the wedge of gold, and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen, and his asses, and his sheep, and his tent, and all that he had: and they brought them unto the valley of Achor.

²⁵And Joshua said, Why hast thou troubled us? the LORD shall trouble thee this day. And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones.

²⁶And they raised over him a great heap of stones unto this day. So the LORD turned from the fierceness of his anger. Wherefore the name of that place was called, The valley of Achor, unto this day.

As much as I think this is serious overkill for a crime that really is minimal under all the other atrocities commited by the murderous hoard, I cannoy help to think that this man had pissed off someone to be singled out in this manner. My logic tells me almost any man could have been found guilty of this crime. I will bet the rest of them breathed a sigh of relief when it was all over.

Joshua 6

¹Now Jericho was straitly shut up because of the children of Israel: none went out, and none came in.

²And the LORD said unto Joshua, See, I have given into thine hand Jericho, and the king thereof, and the mighty men of valour.

So de lard wants Josh and his band of bastards to play ring o' roses round Jericho

³And ye shall compass the city, all ye men of war, and go round about the city once. Thus shalt thou do six days.

⁴And seven priests shall bear before the ark seven trumpets of rams' horns: and the seventh day ye shall compass the city seven times, and the priests shall blow with the trumpets.

⁵And it shall come to pass, that when they make a long blast with the ram's horn, and when ye hear the sound of the trumpet, all the people shall shout with a great shout; and the wall of the city shall fall down flat, and the people shall ascend up every man straight before him.

Sounds like a plan. After all these great walls will fall down at the sound of trumpets.

⁶And Joshua the son of Nun called the priests, and said unto them, Take up the ark of the covenant, and let seven priests bear seven trumpets of rams' horns before the ark of the LORD.

So lets think about this. The people of Jericho are fearful of these murdering bastards, so they shut up the city........A sensible option.

Josh wants the city.....The surrounding terrain is too uneven for any seige engines known to exist at that part of the world at that time.......If his men go near the walls they can expect siege defence tactics.....Arrows, rocks and probably night buckets or potties......So what will walking round and round achieve?

The first time round will achieve two objectives

First reconnaissance.

Second . A major distraction.

⁷And he said unto the people, Pass on, and compass the city, and let him that is armed pass on before the ark of the LORD.

⁸And it came to pass, when Joshua had spoken unto the people, that the seven priests bearing the seven trumpets of rams' horns passed on before the LORD, and blew with the trumpets: and the ark of the covenant of the LORD followed them.

As the parade passes the sentries watching would naturally followed them with their gaze. This would have enabled small groups to get to previously identified hollows and weak points for their skills.

⁹And the armed men went before the priests that blew with the trumpets, and the rearward came after the ark, the priests going on, and blowing with the trumpets.

With the next circumnavigation the noise created by their passing would enable them to tunnel under the walls without being noticed. Possibly also allowing supplies of wood to be brought in for props. Not to mention the vague possibility of "strange fire".

¹⁰And Joshua had commanded the people, saying, Ye shall not shout, nor make any noise with your voice, neither shall any word proceed out of your mouth, until the day I bid you shout; then shall ye shout.

¹¹So the ark of the LORD compassed the city, going about it once: and they came into the camp, and lodged in the camp.

¹²And Joshua rose early in the morning, and the priests took up the ark of the LORD.

¹³And seven priests bearing seven trumpets of rams' horns before the ark of the LORD went on continually, and blew with the trumpets: and the armed men went before them; but the rearward came after the ark of the LORD, the priests going on, and blowing with the trumpets.

¹⁴And the second day they compassed the city once, and returned into the camp: so they did six days.

¹⁵And it came to pass on the seventh day, that they rose early about the dawning of the day, and compassed the city after the same manner seven times: only on that day they compassed the city seven times.

¹⁶And it came to pass at the seventh time, when the priests blew with the trumpets, Joshua said unto the people, Shout; for the LORD hath given you the city.

¹⁷And the city shall be accursed, even it, and all that are therein, to the LORD: only Rahab the harlot shall live, she and all that are with her in the house, because she hid the messengers that we sent.

I thought they were spies

¹⁸And ye, in any wise keep yourselves from the accursed thing, lest ye make yourselves accursed, when ye take of the accursed thing, and make the camp of Israel a curse, and trouble it.

¹⁹But all the silver, and gold, and vessels of brass and iron, are consecrated unto the LORD: they shall come into the treasury of the LORD.

²⁰So the people shouted when the priests blew with the trumpets: and it came to pass, when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, and the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down flat, so that the people went up into the city, every man straight before him, and they took the city.

Even without "strange fire" The undermining of the walls kept up by props while the work continued. Until a large enough hole to guarantee enough destruction to the wall to gain access. The props could then be burnt causing the wall to collapse.

You might have thought that this would have been recorded. But had it been de lard wouldn't have got the credit, with yet even modern investigators suggesting yet another coincidental earthquake.

²¹And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword.

²²But Joshua had said unto the two men that had spied out the country, Go into the harlot's house, and bring out thence the woman, and all that she hath, as ye sware unto her.

²³And the young men that were spies went in, and brought out Rahab, and her father, and her mother, and her brethren, and all that she had; and they brought out all her kindred, and left them without the camp of Israel.

²⁴And they burnt the city with fire, and all that was therein: only the silver, and the gold, and the vessels of brass and of iron, they put into the treasury of the house of the LORD.

²⁵And Joshua saved Rahab the harlot alive, and her father's household, and all that she had; and she dwelleth in Israel even unto this day; because she hid the messengers, which Joshua sent to spy out Jericho.

So we have known for ages that de lard rewards traitors,

²⁶And Joshua adjured them at that time, saying, Cursed be the man before the LORD, that riseth up and buildeth this city Jericho: he shall lay the foundation thereof in his firstborn, and in his youngest son shall he set up the gates of it.

That worked then....Jericho I believe is the longest known continually occupied settlement

²⁷So the LORD was with Joshua; and his fame was noised throughout all the country.

Joshua 5

¹And it came to pass, when all the kings of the Amorites, which were on the side of Jordan westward, and all the kings of the Canaanites, which were by the sea, heard that the LORD had dried up the waters of Jordan from before the children of Israel, until we were passed over, that their heart melted, neither was there spirit in them any more, because of the children of Israel.
So knowing this working on thier despair he attacks.........No he takes a few days off to...................mutilate his mens members.
²At that time the LORD said unto Joshua, Make thee sharp knives, and circumcise again the children of Israel the second time.

How the fuck do you do a second circumcision ?

³And Joshua made him sharp knives, and circumcised the children of Israel at the hill of the foreskins.

The hill of the foreskins......That may I say, is a lot of cock

⁴And this is the cause why Joshua did circumcise: All the people that came out of Egypt, that were males, even all the men of war, died in the wilderness by the way, after they came out of Egypt.

It's amazing isn't it , de lard has apparently been harping on at his "followers since he changed Abram's name to Abraham to be circumcised. Yet we are told de lard knows all that was, is, and can ever be, and yet his supposed creation needs what amounts to fettling. Why? Does de lard not like the taste of smegma ? Perhaps he should have incuded "thou shalt wash thy dangly bits daily" In the commandments.

⁵Now all the people that came out were circumcised: but all the people that were born in the wilderness by the way as they came forth out of Egypt, them they had not circumcised.



⁶For the children of Israel walked forty years in the wilderness, till all the people that were men of war, which came out of Egypt, were consumed, because they obeyed not the voice of the LORD: unto whom the LORD sware that he would not shew them the land, which the LORD sware unto their fathers that he would give us, a land that floweth with milk and honey.

I thought we were assured at the end of Deuteronomy that Moses relinquished his command to Joshua on his death bed, dying in the "best of health". An issue I raised an eyebrow with, at the time Reading through this chapter, I find myself questioning this seamless transition of leaders, and wondering whether or not Moses was as described in the years leading up to his death. In fact wondering whether he had in fact died some years before Josh took the "throne".

⁷And their children, whom he raised up in their stead, them Joshua circumcised: for they were uncircumcised, because they had not circumcised them by the way.

Were we not told that this is an army ? Women, and males exempt through age or status were not with them. Did Moses not make sure his de lards laws were followed ?
⁸And it came to pass, when they had done circumcising all the people, that they abode in their places in the camp, till they were whole.
⁹And the LORD said unto Joshua, This day have I rolled away the reproach of Egypt from off you. Wherefore the name of the place is called Gilgal unto this day.
¹⁰And the children of Israel encamped in Gilgal, and kept the passover on the fourteenth day of the month at even in the plains of Jericho.
¹¹And they did eat of the old corn of the land on the morrow after the passover, unleavened cakes, and parched corn in the selfsame day.
¹²And the manna ceased on the morrow after they had eaten of the old corn of the land; neither had the children of Israel manna any more; but they did eat of the fruit of the land of Canaan that year.

Again I find myself questioning the validity of this ! Manna we were told was supplied to the Israelites when they were starving, it is mentioned twice but the second mention is a retelling of the same story. The last few chapters of Dueteronomy tell of the sacking of cities. Why would they be eating manna now ?

¹³And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted up his eyes and looked, and, behold, there stood a man over against him with his sword drawn in his hand: and Joshua went unto him, and said unto him, Art thou for us, or for our adversaries?

Yet again another reason to question the accepted interpretation. If we have been told the truth where did these "reinforcements" come from another sacked city perhaps ?Or perhaps the twelve men I thought were sent to dam the Jordan were messengers to another force coming to meet them. An army of "stone cutters would have been able to have the same effect.

¹⁴And he said, Nay; but as captain of the host of the LORD am I now come. And Joshua fell on his face to the earth, and did worship, and said unto him, What saith my Lord unto his servant?


¹⁵And the captain of the LORD's host said unto Joshua, Loose thy shoe from off thy foot; for the place whereon thou standest is holy. And Joshua did so.

Joshua 4

¹And it came to pass, when all the people were clean passed over Jordan, that the LORD spake unto Joshua, saying,

²Take you twelve men out of the people, out of every tribe a man,

³And command ye them, saying, Take you hence out of the midst of Jordan, out of the place where the priests' feet stood firm, twelve stones, and ye shall carry them over with you, and leave them in the lodging place, where ye shall lodge this night.

Also in complete contradiction to the law in Lev:26:1

Would man not make so many mistakes if de lard didn't keep changing his mind like a teenage girl in a boutique ?

⁴Then Joshua called the twelve men, whom he had prepared of the children of Israel, out of every tribe a man:

⁵And Joshua said unto them, Pass over before the ark of the LORD your God into the midst of Jordan, and take you up every man of you a stone upon his shoulder, according unto the number of the tribes of the children of Israel:

⁶That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean ye by these stones?

Twelve stones each carried there on the shoulder of one man ! Should anyone be impressed ? Not exactly megaliths are they ?

⁷Then ye shall answer them, That the waters of Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD; when it passed over Jordan, the waters of Jordan were cut off: and these stones shall be for a memorial unto the children of Israel for ever.

⁸And the children of Israel did so as Joshua commanded, and took up twelve stones out of the midst of Jordan, as the LORD spake unto Joshua, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, and carried them over with them unto the place where they lodged, and laid them down there.

⁹And Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of Jordan, in the place where the feet of the priests which bare the ark of the covenant stood: and they are there unto this day.

As "foretold" in Duet :27 .Isn't prophecy amazing when it's written down after the fact.

It seems the followers of the laws of de lard chose which laws they were going to follow.

¹⁰For the priests which bare the ark stood in the midst of Jordan, until everything was finished that the LORD commanded Joshua to speak unto the people, according to all that Moses commanded Joshua: and the people hasted and passed over.

¹¹And it came to pass, when all the people were clean passed over, that the ark of the LORD passed over, and the priests, in the presence of the people.

¹²And the children of Reuben, and the children of Gad, and half the tribe of Manasseh, passed over armed before the children of Israel, as Moses spake unto them:

¹³About forty thousand prepared for war passed over before the LORD unto battle, to the plains of Jericho.

¹⁴On that day the LORD magnified Joshua in the sight of all Israel; and they feared him, as they feared Moses, all the days of his life.

What ? They feared Moses ALL HIS LIFE I don't remember reading that. I thought he was followed because the hebrews thought he was right.

¹⁵And the LORD spake unto Joshua, saying,

¹⁶Command the priests that bear the ark of the testimony, that they come up out of Jordan.

¹⁷Joshua therefore commanded the priests, saying, Come ye up out of Jordan.

¹⁸And it came to pass, when the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD were come up out of the midst of Jordan, and the soles of the priests' feet were lifted up unto the dry land, that the waters of Jordan returned unto their place, and flowed over all his banks, as they did before.

¹⁹And the people came up out of Jordan on the tenth day of the first month, and encamped in Gilgal, in the east border of Jericho.

²⁰And those twelve stones, which they took out of Jordan, did Joshua pitch in Gilgal.

I would have expected more from the people that allegedly were the stonemasons and builders of Egypt. If this event was truly as remarkable as the description implies why did they not mark the spot with something that would really stand out, rather than twelve small boulders.

²¹And he spake unto the children of Israel, saying, When your children shall ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean these stones?

²²Then ye shall let your children know, saying, Israel came over this Jordan on dry land.

²³For the LORD your God dried up the waters of Jordan from before you, until ye were passed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red sea, which he dried up from before us, until we were gone over:

Oh dear old Josh is starting to repeat himself. Is he going the same way as Moses, did he catch syphilis from him ?

²⁴That all the people of the earth might know the hand of the LORD, that it is mighty: that ye might fear the LORD your God for ever.

Well that hasn't worked very well.It also something I continually fail to understand. Why does the supposed creator of everything need this fear ? Is it a drug to him ? Is de lard jacking up ? With all the temper tantrums and meanness He must either be a meth head or a teenage girl.

Joshua 3

¹And Joshua rose early in the morning; and they removed from Shittim, and came to Jordan, he and all the children of Israel, and lodged there before they passed over.

²And it came to pass after three days, that the officers went through the host;

We know from the previous chapter that word of the Israelites escapades has reached the inhabitants of Jericho, and I think it would be fair to assume the ruling administration would have even more knowledge. So as I asked earlier why are they not preparing for an invasion, questioning the odd stray donkey.

³And they commanded the people, saying, When ye see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests the Levites bearing it, then ye shall remove from your place, and go after it.

⁴Yet there shall be a space between you and it, about two thousand cubits by measure: come not near unto it, that ye may know the way by which ye must go: for ye have not passed this way heretofore.

Considering Noah's ark was only 300(450-500ft) cubits long that is a great distance(almost half a mile)It certainly makes me wonder.....Why ?

⁵And Joshua said unto the people, Sanctify yourselves: for to morrow the LORD will do wonders among you.

⁶And Joshua spake unto the priests, saying, Take up the ark of the covenant, and pass over before the people. And they took up the ark of the covenant, and went before the people.

⁷And the LORD said unto Joshua, This day will I begin to magnify thee in the sight of all Israel, that they may know that, as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee.

⁸And thou shalt command the priests that bear the ark of the covenant, saying, When ye are come to the brink of the water of Jordan, ye shall stand still in Jordan.

⁹And Joshua said unto the children of Israel, Come hither, and hear the words of the LORD your God.

¹⁰And Joshua said, Hereby ye shall know that the living God is among you, and that he will without fail drive out from before you the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Hivites, and the Perizzites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Jebusites.

¹¹Behold, the ark of the covenant of the LORD of all the earth passeth over before you into Jordan.

¹²Now therefore take you twelve men out of the tribes of Israel, out of every tribe a man.

¹³And it shall come to pass, as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of the LORD, the LORD of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of Jordan, that the waters of Jordan shall be cut off from the waters that come down from above; and they shall stand upon an heap.

On first reading I thought the 12 men were the priests, but are they ?

If they are not the priests, is it not conceivable that they were selected for another mission ? A mission so secret it was not recorded, perhaps not even told to any others, a mission that would just about explain why there was such a distance between what was thought to be the ark and the rest of the army.

Intrigued ?

Remember the death of Aarons sons

I said at the time it sounded like an early gunpowder or fire flash.

With me now ?

Perhaps they got the quantities wrong and had inadvertently discovered an explosive. If this was the case, would it have been that difficult to go dam the Jordan, at least temporarily.

I am not suggesting how or where they did it or whether or not there was any preparation, what I am suggesting it is more convincing than godidit, or a coincidental earthquake that amounts to the same thing.

¹⁴And it came to pass, when the people removed from their tents, to pass over Jordan, and the priests bearing the ark of the covenant before the people;

¹⁵And as they that bare the ark were come unto Jordan, and the feet of the priests that bare the ark were dipped in the brim of the water, (for Jordan overfloweth all his banks all the time of harvest,)

¹⁶That the waters which came down from above stood and rose up upon an heap very far from the city Adam, that is beside Zaretan: and those that came down toward the sea of the plain, even the salt sea, failed, and were cut off: and the people passed over right against Jericho.

I think it is highly feasible that they had seen or knew of a weak overhang or an avalanche waiting to happen at some point.

¹⁷And the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan, and all the Israelites passed over on dry ground, until all the people were passed clean over Jordan.

Joshua 2

¹And Joshua the son of Nun sent out of Shittim two men to spy secretly, saying, Go view the land, even Jericho. And they went, and came into an harlot's house, named Rahab, and lodged there.

Oh the poor men, having to lodge with a harlot.

²And it was told the king of Jericho, saying, Behold, there came men in hither to night of the children of Israel to search out the country.

³And the king of Jericho sent unto Rahab, saying, Bring forth the men that are come to thee, which are entered into thine house: for they be come to search out all the country.

⁴And the woman took the two men, and hid them, and said thus, There came men unto me, but I wist not whence they were:

I do question why she would protect them. So far the Israelite line has not been known for being good lays. Not with women any way.

⁵And it came to pass about the time of shutting of the gate, when it was dark, that the men went out: whither the men went I wot not: pursue after them quickly; for ye shall overtake them.

I am also reminded of the scene from Monty Python's Life of Brian involving the Roman guards searching for Brian.

⁶But she had brought them up to the roof of the house, and hid them with the stalks of flax, which she had laid in order upon the roof.

Also my understanding of commoners housing in the ancient world is that the door was in fact a hole in the roof

⁷And the men pursued after them the way to Jordan unto the fords: and as soon as they which pursued after them were gone out, they shut the gate.

⁸And before they were laid down, she came up unto them upon the roof;

⁹And she said unto the men, I know that the LORD hath given you the land, and that your terror is fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land faint because of you.

¹⁰For we have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red sea for you, when ye came out of Egypt; and what ye did unto the two kings of the Amorites, that were on the other side Jordan, Sihon and Og, whom ye utterly destroyed.

Knowing this all the more reason not to protect them.

¹¹And as soon as we had heard these things, our hearts did melt, neither did there remain any more courage in any man, because of you: for the LORD your God, he is God in heaven above, and in earth beneath.

¹²Now therefore, I pray you, swear unto me by the LORD, since I have shewed you kindness, that ye will also shew kindness unto my father's house, and give me a true token:

¹³And that ye will save alive my father, and my mother, and my brethren, and my sisters, and all that they have, and deliver our lives from death.

Ah she obviously has not heard the full story.

¹⁴And the men answered her, Our life for yours, if ye utter not this our business. And it shall be, when the LORD hath given us the land, that we will deal kindly and truly with thee.

And the stupid bitch believes they will keep their word

¹⁵Then she let them down by a cord through the window: for her house was upon the town wall, and she dwelt upon the wall.

Again I thought city walls were very thick and were unbroken, some of the larger cities having a "ring road"along the top. Also those living in a city would be literally INside the city walls. The city of Jericho from this time appears to have had a double wall. Although excavations have found housing between these walls lower classes on against the outer perimeter or revetment wall

¹⁶And she said unto them, Get you to the mountain, lest the pursuers meet you; and hide yourselves there three days, until the pursuers be returned: and afterward may ye go your way.

¹⁷And the men said unto her, We will be blameless of this thine oath which thou hast made us swear.

¹⁸Behold, when we come into the land, thou shalt bind this line of scarlet thread in the window which thou didst let us down by: and thou shalt bring thy father, and thy mother, and thy brethren, and all thy father's household, home unto thee.

This I believe is supposed to be the origin of a red token or in the last century a red light as an sign for her profession.

¹⁹And it shall be, that whosoever shall go out of the doors of thy house into the street, his blood shall be upon his head, and we will be guiltless: and whosoever shall be with thee in the house, his blood shall be on our head, if any hand be upon him.

²⁰And if thou utter this our business, then we will be quit of thine oath which thou hast made us to swear.

²¹And she said, According unto your words, so be it. And she sent them away, and they departed: and she bound the scarlet line in the window.

²²And they went, and came unto the mountain, and abode there three days, until the pursuers were returned: and the pursuers sought them throughout all the way, but found them not.

²³So the two men returned, and descended from the mountain, and passed over, and came to Joshua the son of Nun, and told him all things that befell them:

²⁴And they said unto Joshua, Truly the LORD hath delivered into our hands all the land; for even all the inhabitants of the country do faint because of us.