Numbers 16

¹Now Korah, the son of Izhar, the son of Kohath, the son of Levi, and Dathan and Abiram, the sons of Eliab, and On, the son of Peleth, sons of Reuben, took men:

²And they rose up before Moses, with certain of the children of Israel, two hundred and fifty princes of the assembly, famous in the congregation, men of renown.

Now are you surprised, even some of the higher up people are still not convinced.Perhaps god appearing on the mountain with the fire and smoke was not quite so impressive as we had been led to believe.

³And they gathered themselves together against Moses and against Aaron, and said unto them, Ye take too much upon you, seeing all the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is among them: wherefore then lift ye up yourselves above the congregation of the LORD?

⁴And when Moses heard it, he fell upon his face:

Oh the shame ,they have uncovered the sham.

⁵And he spake unto Korah and unto all his company, saying, Even to morrow the LORD will shew who are his, and who is holy; and will cause him to come near unto him: even him whom he hath chosen will he cause to come near unto him.

⁶This do; Take you censers, Korah, and all his company;

⁷And put fire therein, and put incense in them before the LORD to morrow: and it shall be that the man whom the LORD doth choose, he shall be holy: ye take too much upon you, ye sons of Levi.

I smell a rat here.

⁸And Moses said unto Korah, Hear, I pray you, ye sons of Levi:

⁹Seemeth it but a small thing unto you, that the God of Israel hath separated you from the congregation of Israel, to bring you near to himself to do the service of the tabernacle of the LORD, and to stand before the congregation to minister unto them?

¹⁰And he hath brought thee near to him, and all thy brethren the sons of Levi with thee: and seek ye the priesthood also?

¹¹For which cause both thou and all thy company are gathered together against the LORD: and what is Aaron, that ye murmur against him?

¹²And Moses sent to call Dathan and Abiram, the sons of Eliab: which said, We will not come up:

¹³Is it a small thing that thou hast brought us up out of a land that floweth with milk and honey, to kill us in the wilderness, except thou make thyself altogether a prince over us?

Yep they seem to have seen the truth.

¹⁴Moreover thou hast not brought us into a land that floweth with milk and honey, or given us inheritance of fields and vineyards: wilt thou put out the eyes of these men? we will not come up.

¹⁵And Moses was very wroth, and said unto the LORD, Respect not thou their offering: I have not taken one ass from them, neither have I hurt one of them.

¹⁶And Moses said unto Korah, Be thou and all thy company before the LORD, thou, and they, and Aaron, to morrow:

¹⁷And take every man his censer, and put incense in them, and bring ye before the LORD every man his censer, two hundred and fifty censers; thou also, and Aaron, each of you his censer.

Call me a sceptic if you like ,but is it not possible to put a substance in the censers that when burnt could give off noxious vapours.

¹⁸And they took every man his censer, and put fire in them, and laid incense thereon, and stood in the door of the tabernacle of the congregation with Moses and Aaron.

¹⁹And Korah gathered all the congregation against them unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation: and the glory of the LORD appeared unto all the congregation.

²⁰And the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying,

²¹Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment.

So they don't breathe the smoke from the censers perhaps ?

²²And they fell upon their faces, and said, O God, the God of the spirits of all flesh, shall one man sin, and wilt thou be wroth with all the congregation?

²³And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²⁴Speak unto the congregation, saying, Get you up from about the tabernacle of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram.

²⁵And Moses rose up and went unto Dathan and Abiram; and the elders of Israel followed him.

²⁶And he spake unto the congregation, saying, Depart, I pray you, from the tents of these wicked men, and touch nothing of their's, lest ye be consumed in all their sins.

Like I said.

²⁷So they gat up from the tabernacle of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, on every side: and Dathan and Abiram came out, and stood in the door of their tents, and their wives, and their sons, and their little children.

²⁸And Moses said, Hereby ye shall know that the LORD hath sent me to do all these works; for I have not done them of mine own mind.

²⁹If these men die the common death of all men, or if they be visited after the visitation of all men; then the LORD hath not sent me.

³⁰But if the LORD make a new thing, and the earth open her mouth, and swallow them up, with all that appertain unto them, and they go down quick into the pit; then ye shall understand that these men have provoked the LORD.

³¹And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder that was under them:

³²And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods.

A minor localised earthquake or just the fact that they fell over having come down with a sudden case of death ?

³³They, and all that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation.

³⁴And all Israel that were round about them fled at the cry of them: for they said, Lest the earth swallow us up also.

³⁵And there came out a fire from the LORD, and consumed the two hundred and fifty men that offered incense.

Then a sudden burst of fire wow god has excelled himself, surely a short cooee I'm here really would have quieted the doubters ?

³⁶And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

³⁷Speak unto Eleazar the son of Aaron the priest, that he take up the censers out of the burning, and scatter thou the fire yonder; for they are hallowed.

Now the censers are emptied by "one of the faithful" and become "hallowed" the phrase robbing the dead not an issue here then.

³⁸The censers of these sinners against their own souls, let them make them broad plates for a covering of the altar: for they offered them before the LORD, therefore they are hallowed: and they shall be a sign unto the children of Israel.

³⁹And Eleazar the priest took the brasen censers, wherewith they that were burnt had offered; and they were made broad plates for a covering of the altar:

⁴⁰To be a memorial unto the children of Israel, that no stranger, which is not of the seed of Aaron, come near to offer incense before the LORD; that he be not as Korah, and as his company: as the LORD said to him by the hand of Moses.

⁴¹But on the morrow all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron, saying, Ye have killed the people of the LORD.

⁴²And it came to pass, when the congregation was gathered against Moses and against Aaron, that they looked toward the tabernacle of the congregation: and, behold, the cloud covered it, and the glory of the LORD appeared.

⁴³And Moses and Aaron came before the tabernacle of the congregation.

⁴⁴And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

⁴⁵Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment. And they fell upon their faces.

⁴⁶And Moses said unto Aaron, Take a censer, and put fire therein from off the altar, and put on incense, and go quickly unto the congregation, and make an atonement for them: for there is wrath gone out from the LORD; the plague is begun.

⁴⁷And Aaron took as Moses commanded, and ran into the midst of the congregation; and, behold, the plague was begun among the people: and he put on incense, and made an atonement for the people.

Burning incense = more death, no reason to suspect any thing other than a supernatural event.

⁴⁸And he stood between the dead and the living; and the plague was stayed.

⁴⁹Now they that died in the plague were fourteen thousand and seven hundred, beside them that died about the matter of Korah.

I do somehow think that someone's death just to prove a point, is a tad extreme. But this however, is beyond extreme and has to make Moses one of the "greatest mass murderers in known history. That's on the assumption this really did happen.

⁵⁰And Aaron returned unto Moses unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation: and the plague was stayed.

Addendum
Since posting this I found this
Yes I know the Roman era was much later but I ask you this. Technologically speaking how much was that different from circa 1400bce. to 1400ce. ?

Numbers 15

¹And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When ye be come into the land of your habitations, which I give unto you,

So a gift from their god is not like a real gift, that is given with nothing expected in return, as always with this despicable despot there is a token to be paid. As you should now come to expect with the "congregation" dining on manna and diseased carrion god wants sacrifices of their remaining meat stock. Fuck you can feel his mercy through the ages.

³And will make an offering by fire unto the LORD, a burnt offering, or a sacrifice in performing a vow, or in a freewill offering, or in your solemn feasts, to make a sweet savour unto the LORD, of the herd or of the flock:

⁴Then shall he that offereth his offering unto the LORD bring a meat offering of a tenth deal of flour mingled with the fourth part of an hin of oil.

⁵And the fourth part of an hin of wine for a drink offering shalt thou prepare with the burnt offering or sacrifice, for one lamb.

⁶Or for a ram, thou shalt prepare for a meat offering two tenth deals of flour mingled with the third part of an hin of oil.

⁷And for a drink offering thou shalt offer the third part of an hin of wine, for a sweet savour unto the LORD.

They are near starving ,and there is wine?

⁸And when thou preparest a bullock for a burnt offering, or for a sacrifice in performing a vow, or peace offerings unto the LORD:

⁹Then shall he bring with a bullock a meat offering of three tenth deals of flour mingled with half an hin of oil.

¹⁰And thou shalt bring for a drink offering half an hin of wine, for an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.

¹¹Thus shall it be done for one bullock, or for one ram, or for a lamb, or a kid.

¹²According to the number that ye shall prepare, so shall ye do to every one according to their number.

¹³All that are born of the country shall do these things after this manner, in offering an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.

¹⁴And if a stranger sojourn with you, or whosoever be among you in your generations, and will offer an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD; as ye do, so he shall do.

¹⁵One ordinance shall be both for you of the congregation, and also for the stranger that sojourneth with you, an ordinance for ever in your generations: as ye are, so shall the stranger be before the LORD.

¹⁶One law and one manner shall be for you, and for the stranger that sojourneth with you.

So this dickhead of a deity, is not content with segregating his followers from the rest of mankind ,he wants anyone misfortunate enough to be in "their" land, to follow the same stringent mostly ridiculous rules. This coupled with his now legendary fore sight(or lack of it) lays the foundation for the jewish people to be one of the most despised people ever.

¹⁷And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

¹⁸Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When ye come into the land whither I bring you,

¹⁹Then it shall be, that, when ye eat of the bread of the land, ye shall offer up an heave offering unto the LORD.

²⁰Ye shall offer up a cake of the first of your dough for an heave offering: as ye do the heave offering of the threshingfloor, so shall ye heave it.

²¹Of the first of your dough ye shall give unto the LORD an heave offering in your generations.

²²And if ye have erred, and not observed all these commandments, which the LORD hath spoken unto Moses,

²³Even all that the LORD hath commanded you by the hand of Moses, from the day that the LORD commanded Moses, and henceforward among your generations;

²⁴Then it shall be, if ought be committed by ignorance without the knowledge of the congregation, that all the congregation shall offer one young bullock for a burnt offering, for a sweet savour unto the LORD, with his meat offering, and his drink offering, according to the manner, and one kid of the goats for a sin offering.

²⁵And the priest shall make an atonement for all the congregation of the children of Israel, and it shall be forgiven them; for it is ignorance: and they shall bring their offering, a sacrifice made by fire unto the LORD, and their sin offering before the LORD, for their ignorance:

²⁶And it shall be forgiven all the congregation of the children of Israel, and the stranger that sojourneth among them; seeing all the people were in ignorance.

²⁷And if any soul sin through ignorance, then he shall bring a she goat of the first year for a sin offering.

²⁸And the priest shall make an atonement for the soul that sinneth ignorantly, when he sinneth by ignorance before the LORD, to make an atonement for him; and it shall be forgiven him.

²⁹Ye shall have one law for him that sinneth through ignorance, both for him that is born among the children of Israel, and for the stranger that sojourneth among them.

³⁰But the soul that doeth ought presumptuously, whether he be born in the land, or a stranger, the same reproacheth the LORD; and that soul shall be cut off from among his people.

³¹Because he hath despised the word of the LORD, and hath broken his commandment, that soul shall utterly be cut off; his iniquity shall be upon him.

Fuck me has god finally seen the future ? Is he talking about me ?

³²And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day.

Gathering sticks , such a heinous crime.

³³And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation.

So gathering sticks is wrong, but being rudimentary police officers is ok.

What were the arresting officers doing at the stick gathering place anyway ?

³⁴And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him.

³⁵And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.

So gathering sticks bad, but collecting stones and throwing them at someone till they are dead is a good thing.

³⁶And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.

³⁷And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

³⁸Speak unto the children of Israel, and bid them that they make them fringes in the borders of their garments throughout their generations, and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribband of blue:

³⁹And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the LORD, and do them ; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring:

I think in modern terms, or at least my terms this means......"hang blue tassles on your clothes to show you think more about moses's delusions than you do about facing real life".

⁴⁰That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God.

⁴¹I am the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: I am the LORD your God.
He keeps saying this.....

Numbers 14

¹And all the congregation lifted up their voice, and cried; and the people wept that night.

²And all the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron: and the whole congregation said unto them, Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in this wilderness!

³And wherefore hath the LORD brought us unto this land, to fall by the sword, that our wives and our children should be a prey? were it not better for us to return into Egypt?

At last they are showing some sense. Sadly I doubt it will last.

⁴And they said one to another, Let us make a captain, and let us return into Egypt.

⁵Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before all the assembly of the congregation of the children of Israel.

⁶And Joshua the son of Nun, and Caleb the son of Jephunneh, which were of them that searched the land, rent their clothes:

⁷And they spake unto all the company of the children of Israel, saying, The land, which we passed through to search it, is an exceeding good land.

⁸If the LORD delight in us, then he will bring us into this land, and give it us; a land which floweth with milk and honey.

What is this obsession with milk and honey, call me old fashioned but I think I like water flowing in my rivers and I am pretty sure fish prefer it too.

⁹Only rebel not ye against the LORD, neither fear ye the people of the land; for they are bread for us: their defence is departed from them, and the LORD is with us: fear them not.

What was that bit about being nice to strangers ?

¹⁰But all the congregation bade stone them with stones. And the glory of the LORD appeared in the tabernacle of the congregation before all the children of Israel.

You have to give credit where credit is due, Jethro must have been a wiz at pyrotechnics.

¹¹And the LORD said unto Moses, How long will this people provoke me? and how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs which I have shewed among them?

¹²I will smite them with the pestilence, and disinherit them, and will make of thee a greater nation and mightier than they.

We have had plenty of time to see the last thing YHWH wants is for his followers to think for themselves.

¹³And Moses said unto the LORD, Then the Egyptians shall hear it, (for thou broughtest up this people in thy might from among them;)

¹⁴And they will tell it to the inhabitants of this land: for they have heard that thou LORD art among this people, that thou LORD art seen face to face, and that thy cloud standeth over them, and that thou goest before them, by day time in a pillar of a cloud, and in a pillar of fire by night.

Yes I am sure they have all forgotten the events leading up to their leaving Egypt.

¹⁵Now if thou shalt kill all this people as one man, then the nations which have heard the fame of thee will speak, saying,

¹⁶Because the LORD was not able to bring this people into the land which he sware unto them, therefore he hath slain them in the wilderness.

¹⁷And now, I beseech thee, let the power of my lord be great, according as thou hast spoken, saying,

¹⁸The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.

Where the fuck has this senile vindictive old tyrant shown any of that ?

¹⁹Pardon, I beseech thee, the iniquity of this people according unto the greatness of thy mercy, and as thou hast forgiven this people, from Egypt even until now.

²⁰And the LORD said, I have pardoned according to thy word:

²¹But as truly as I live, all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the LORD.

Ok Ok Time out These people, quite rightly, were ready to kill Moses. A Bit of smoke and Moses has regained control. If that wasn't bad enough, people today are still believing this. Why ? What are, if any, the reasons people give to use this thinly veiled bullshit to delude themselves and their children. At least the Israelites have had a few basic mind control techniques thrown at them. (disorientation,malnutrition,false hope)What excuse do the patrons of things like mega churches have apart from the fear of being different. Oh and the false hope of course.

²²Because all those men which have seen my glory, and my miracles, which I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and have tempted me now these ten times, and have not hearkened to my voice;

Because the world is full of gods miracles. Like if you drop something god will make a miracle and cause it to fall to the ground otherwise it would just hang there.

²³Surely they shall not see the land which I sware unto their fathers, neither shall any of them that provoked me see it:

²⁴But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land whereinto he went; and his seed shall possess it.

²⁵(Now the Amalekites and the Canaanites dwelt in the valley.) Tomorrow turn you, and get you into the wilderness by the way of the Red sea.

²⁶And the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying,

²⁷How long shall I bear with this evil congregation, which murmur against me? I have heard the murmurings of the children of Israel, which they murmur against me.

Now we know what Jethro has been using for smoke....Moses is getting paranoid.

²⁸Say unto them, As truly as I live, saith the LORD, as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you:

²⁹Your carcases shall fall in this wilderness; and all that were numbered of you, according to your whole number, from twenty years old and upward which have murmured against me.

³⁰Doubtless ye shall not come into the land, concerning which I sware to make you dwell therein, save Caleb the son of Jephunneh, and Joshua the son of Nun.

³¹But your little ones, which ye said should be a prey, them will I bring in, and they shall know the land which ye have despised.

³²But as for you, your carcases, they shall fall in this wilderness.

³³And your children shall wander in the wilderness forty years, and bear your whoredoms, until your carcases be wasted in the wilderness.

³⁴After the number of the days in which ye searched the land, even forty days, each day for a year, shall ye bear your iniquities, even forty years, and ye shall know my breach of promise.

³⁵I the LORD have said, I will surely do it unto all this evil congregation, that are gathered together against me: in this wilderness they shall be consumed, and there they shall die.

³⁶And the men, which Moses sent to search the land, who returned, and made all the congregation to murmur against him, by bringing up a slander upon the land,

So Moses can't produce his delusion to the satisfaction of the masses, and to placate them he vows to make them stay wandering fo a lifetime.

³⁷Even those men that did bring up the evil report upon the land, died by the plague before the LORD.

³⁸But Joshua the son of Nun, and Caleb the son of Jephunneh, which were of the men that went to search the land, lived still.

³⁹And Moses told these sayings unto all the children of Israel: and the people mourned greatly.

⁴⁰And they rose up early in the morning, and gat them up into the top of the mountain, saying, Lo, we be here, and will go up unto the place which the LORD hath promised: for we have sinned.

⁴¹And Moses said, Wherefore now do ye transgress the commandment of the LORD? but it shall not prosper.

Which commandment ?

⁴²Go not up, for the LORD is not among you; that ye be not smitten before your enemies.

⁴³For the Amalekites and the Canaanites are there before you, and ye shall fall by the sword: because ye are turned away from the LORD, therefore the LORD will not be with you.

⁴⁴But they presumed to go up unto the hill top: nevertheless the ark of the covenant of the LORD, and Moses, departed not out of the camp.

⁴⁵Then the Amalekites came down, and the Canaanites which dwelt in that hill, and smote them, and discomfited them, even unto Hormah.

Good job they didn't fuck with the giant sons of Anak

Numbers 13

¹And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²Send thou men, that they may search the land of Canaan, which I give unto the children of Israel: of every tribe of their fathers shall ye send a man, every one a ruler among them.

I think I would have been more impressed if god had appeared to those he deemed suitable or even better teleported them to Moses's tent. But the omnipotent omniscient one is again relying on the infallible and incorruptible Jewish men.

³And Moses by the commandment of the LORD sent them from the wilderness of Paran: all those men were heads of the children of Israel.

⁴And these were their names: of the tribe of Reuben, Shammua the son of Zaccur.

⁵Of the tribe of Simeon, Shaphat the son of Hori.

⁶Of the tribe of Judah, Caleb the son of Jephunneh.

⁷Of the tribe of Issachar, Igal the son of Joseph.

⁸Of the tribe of Ephraim, Oshea the son of Nun.

⁹Of the tribe of Benjamin, Palti the son of Raphu.

¹⁰Of the tribe of Zebulun, Gaddiel the son of Sodi.

¹¹Of the tribe of Joseph, namely, of the tribe of Manasseh, Gaddi the son of Susi.

¹²Of the tribe of Dan, Ammiel the son of Gemalli.

¹³Of the tribe of Asher, Sethur the son of Michael.

¹⁴Of the tribe of Naphtali, Nahbi the son of Vophsi.

¹⁵Of the tribe of Gad, Geuel the son of Machi.

¹⁶These are the names of the men which Moses sent to spy out the land. And Moses called Oshea the son of Nun Jehoshua.

Again could god not have said who was where ,maybe he had something in his eye.

¹⁷And Moses sent them to spy out the land of Canaan, and said unto them, Get you up this way southward, and go up into the mountain:

Because that's what the meek do.

¹⁸And see the land, what it is, and the people that dwelleth therein, whether they be strong or weak, few or many;

¹⁹And what the land is that they dwell in, whether it be good or bad; and what cities they be that they dwell in, whether in tents, or in strong holds;

²⁰And what the land is, whether it be fat or lean, whether there be wood therein, or not. And be ye of good courage, and bring of the fruit of the land. Now the time was the time of the firstripe grapes.

²¹So they went up, and searched the land from the wilderness of Zin unto Rehob, as men come to Hamath.

People are still going there ... oh no that's from the wildness and sin to rehab.

²²And they ascended by the south, and came unto Hebron; where Ahiman, Sheshai, and Talmai, the children of Anak, were. (Now Hebron was built seven years before Zoan in Egypt.)

²³And they came unto the brook of Eshcol, and cut down from thence a branch with one cluster of grapes, and they bare it between two upon a staff; and they brought of the pomegranates, and of the figs.

²⁴The place was called the brook Eshcol, because of the cluster of grapes which the children of Israel cut down from thence.

²⁵And they returned from searching of the land after forty days.

²⁶And they went and came to Moses, and to Aaron, and to all the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the wilderness of Paran, to Kadesh; and brought back word unto them, and unto all the congregation, and shewed them the fruit of the land.

²⁷And they told him, and said, We came unto the land whither thou sentest us, and surely it floweth with milk and honey; and this is the fruit of it.

²⁸Nevertheless the people be strong that dwell in the land, and the cities are walled, and very great: and moreover we saw the children of Anak there.

²⁹The Amalekites dwell in the land of the south: and the Hittites, and the Jebusites, and the Amorites, dwell in the mountains: and the Canaanites dwell by the sea, and by the coast of Jordan.

³⁰And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.

³¹But the men that went up with him said, We be not able to go up against the people; for they are stronger than we.

³²And they brought up an evil report of the land which they had searched unto the children of Israel, saying, The land, through which we have gone to search it, is a land that eateth up the inhabitants thereof; and all the people that we saw in it are men of a great stature.

³³And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.

Giants....hmmm how tall are these giants or should I be asking how short are the Jews. Could this be the reason no irrefutable evidence of Moses's meanderings have been found. Were these people knee high to a hobbit ?
Perhaps they had just seen statues. Or on the other hand ...No I shouldn't be suggesting this ...but ...maybe ...just maybe somebody made it up or was bribed to tell tales of scary giants.

Numbers 12

¹And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.

Aaron is complaining ? Fucking a goat with god is OK for him, but marrying an Ethiopian woman is something to complain about. It's just jealousy that's all, because theres one thing guaranteed from an Ethiopian ...they will always swallow.

²And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard it.

"Spoken BY us" not spoken TO us..... That about sums it up

³(Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.)

Meek....MEEK.....has the meaning of meek changed ? Moses has been shown to be tyrannical,bull headed, forceful even batshit crazy but meek, where or when the fuck did that happen ?

⁴And the LORD spake suddenly unto Moses, and unto Aaron, and unto Miriam, Come out ye three unto the tabernacle of the congregation. And they three came out.

So god has suddenly lowered his standards and started talking to a woman?Is this the same Miriam we were introduced to in exodus ?Or is Miriam a general phrase like "Sheila" in modern day Australia

⁵And the LORD came down in the pillar of the cloud, and stood in the door of the tabernacle, and called Aaron and Miriam: and they both came forth.

Are women allowed in the big tent ? How come god has ignored women since Eve went against her god given nature and questioned gods logic and then disobeyed him and all of a sudden is on first name terms with a woman who may or may not be Moses and Aarons sister ?

⁶And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, I the LORD will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him in a dream.

A direct conversion is to much trouble then, has the cost of pyrotechnics gone up.

Also note god say's "him"

⁷My servant Moses is not so, who is faithful in all mine house.

So Moses is not a prophet... more of a profit I suppose.

⁸With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of the LORD shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?

⁹And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them; and he departed.

¹⁰And the cloud departed from off the tabernacle; and, behold, Miriam became leprous, white as snow: and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, she was leprous.

Ah ! I see, she is the "token" previously unknown member of the cast.

¹¹And Aaron said unto Moses, Alas, my lord, I beseech thee, lay not the sin upon us, wherein we have done foolishly, and wherein we have sinned.

¹²Let her not be as one dead, of whom the flesh is half consumed when he cometh out of his mother's womb.

¹³And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, Heal her now, O God, I beseech thee.

¹⁴And the LORD said unto Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? let her be shut out from the camp seven days, and after that let her be received in again.

¹⁵And Miriam was shut out from the camp seven days: and the people journeyed not till Miriam was brought in again.

So brought into the script and cursed then healed .....will she become a regular member of the cast we shall see.

¹⁶And afterward the people removed from Hazeroth, and pitched in the wilderness of Paran.

Numbers 11

¹And when the people complained, it displeased the LORD: and the LORD heard it; and his anger was kindled; and the fire of the LORD burnt among them, and consumed them that were in the uttermost parts of the camp.

After all what could they possibly have to complain about ?

Their god loves them and has chosen them above all his other creations. They know they are loved they can feel gods love , it's that all encompassing warmth they feel just before the agonising pain they feel as their skin blisters.god wants to prove how much he loves them so he is going to make their lives a total misery and when they complain what's a god to do, but burn the shit out of them.

²And the people cried unto Moses; and when Moses prayed unto the LORD, the fire was quenched.

³And he called the name of the place Taberah: because the fire of the LORD burnt among them.

Nothing at all to do with a stray spark from a campfire or a knocked over candle or lamp,nor did it spread because the tents were all too close together .No god must have did it.

⁴And the mixt multitude that was among them fell a lusting: and the children of Israel also wept again, and said, Who shall give us flesh to eat?

⁵We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlick:

⁶But now our soul is dried away: there is nothing at all, beside this manna, before our eyes.

Hang on have we hit a time warp here. There they were, settled at the base of Sinai slaughtering livestock for their god,as though they had an endless supply, constantly fattening up the fledgling priesthood. Now they have a three day walk and find themselves with no livestock and are starving and lusting after meat, and are back to eating manna.

⁷And the manna was as coriander seed, and the colour thereof as the colour of bdellium.

⁸And the people went about, and gathered it, and ground it in mills, or beat it in a mortar, and baked it in pans, and made cakes of it: and the taste of it was as the taste of fresh oil.

⁹And when the dew fell upon the camp in the night, the manna fell upon it.

¹⁰Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: and the anger of the LORD was kindled greatly; Moses also was displeased.

Why does that last sentence seem like it was thrown in to separate Moses from god ?

¹¹And Moses said unto the LORD, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me?

¹²Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers?

¹³Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat.

¹⁴I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me.

¹⁵And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.

¹⁶And the LORD said unto Moses, Gather unto me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom thou knowest to be the elders of the people, and officers over them; and bring them unto the tabernacle of the congregation, that they may stand there with thee.

¹⁷And I will come down and talk with thee there: and I will take of the spirit which is upon thee, and will put it upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with thee, that thou bear it not thyself alone.

So Moses gets his burden lightened but what about the starving hundreds millions

¹⁸And say thou unto the people, Sanctify yourselves against to morrow, and ye shall eat flesh: for ye have wept in the ears of the LORD, saying, Who shall give us flesh to eat? for it was well with us in Egypt: therefore the LORD will give you flesh, and ye shall eat.

¹⁹Ye shall not eat one day, nor two days, nor five days, neither ten days, nor twenty days;

²⁰But even a whole month, until it come out at your nostrils, and it be loathsome unto you: because that ye have despised the LORD which is among you, and have wept before him, saying, Why came we forth out of Egypt?

²¹And Moses said, The people, among whom I am, are six hundred thousand footmen; and thou hast said, I will give them flesh, that they may eat a whole month.

²²Shall the flocks and the herds be slain for them, to suffice them? or shall all the fish of the sea be gathered together for them, to suffice them?

If this is after they headed out for Paran in the third day encampment even if they had gone due east from where they were they could not be more than for days away from the red sea, a plentiful supply of food.

²³And the LORD said unto Moses, Is the LORD'S hand waxed short? thou shalt see now whether my word shall come to pass unto thee or not.

When people are made to do without things especially food and water they then become more grateful for just a little than they would have been for a banquet.

²⁴And Moses went out, and told the people the words of the LORD, and gathered the seventy men of the elders of the people, and set them round about the tabernacle.

²⁵And the LORD came down in a cloud, and spake unto him, and took of the spirit that was upon him, and gave it unto the seventy elders: and it came to pass, that, when the spirit rested upon them, they prophesied, and did not cease.

²⁶But there remained two of the men in the camp, the name of the one was Eldad, and the name of the other Medad: and the spirit rested upon them; and they were of them that were written, but went not out unto the tabernacle: and they prophesied in the camp.

²⁷And there ran a young man, and told Moses, and said, Eldad and Medad do prophesy in the camp.

²⁸And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of Moses, one of his young men, answered and said, My lord Moses, forbid them.

Because Moses knows gods mind better than any other prophet !!!

²⁹And Moses said unto him, Enviest thou for my sake? would God that all the LORD'S people were prophets, and that the LORD would put his spirit upon them!

³⁰And Moses gat him into the camp, he and the elders of Israel.

³¹And there went forth a wind from the LORD, and brought quails from the sea, and let them fall by the camp, as it were a day's journey on this side, and as it were a day's journey on the other side, round about the camp, and as it were two cubits high upon the face of the earth.

Did we not already have a commandment telling these people not to eat carrion ? or is this prior to that ?

³²And the people stood up all that day, and all that night, and all the next day, and they gathered the quails: he that gathered least gathered ten homers: and they spread them all abroad for themselves round about the camp.

That's alot of quail

³³And while the flesh was yet between their teeth, ere it was chewed, the wrath of the LORD was kindled against the people, and the LORD smote the people with a very great plague.

³⁴And he called the name of that place Kibrothhattaavah: because there they buried the people that lusted.

Now this may well be a re-hash of Exodus 16 but there the quail were Ok to eat.

³⁵And the people journeyed from Kibrothhattaavah unto Hazeroth; and abode at Hazeroth.

Numbers 10

¹And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²Make thee two trumpets of silver; of a whole piece shalt thou make them: that thou mayest use them for the calling of the assembly, and for the journeying of the camps.

Can't be brass like any normal trumpet it has to be silver.

Would not a truly omniscient god have provided them with a compass ? Mind you, Moses would not have wanted them to get to where they were going until he had "liberated" all their riches into "de lawds" hands.

³And when they shall blow with them, all the assembly shall assemble themselves to thee at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

⁴And if they blow but with one trumpet, then the princes, which are heads of the thousands of Israel, shall gather themselves unto thee.

⁵When ye blow an alarm, then the camps that lie on the east parts shall go forward.

⁶When ye blow an alarm the second time, then the camps that lie on the south side shall take their journey: they shall blow an alarm for their journeys.

⁷But when the congregation is to be gathered together, ye shall blow, but ye shall not sound an alarm.

⁸And the sons of Aaron, the priests, shall blow with the trumpets; and they shall be to you for an ordinance for ever throughout your generations.

Again a glimmer of sense and something that is carried on through to modern times....only just replaced by radio.

⁹And if ye go to war in your land against the enemy that oppresseth you, then ye shall blow an alarm with the trumpets; and ye shall be remembered before the LORD your God, and ye shall be saved from your enemies.

Now if this god of Moses was so powerful and for that matter even the slightest bit real would anyone have dared to be wrongful in any way to the jewish people. No, but for some reason,everyone has alway's given the jews a hard time. The jews seem to be the "spanner" race,the race everybody in the school playground picks on.

¹⁰Also in the day of your gladness, and in your solemn days, and in the beginnings of your months, ye shall blow with the trumpets over your burnt offerings, and over the sacrifices of your peace offerings; that they may be to you for a memorial before your God: I am the LORD your God.

¹¹And it came to pass on the twentieth day of the second month, in the second year, that the cloud was taken up from off the tabernacle of the testimony.

¹²And the children of Israel took their journeys out of the wilderness of Sinai; and the cloud rested in the wilderness of Paran.

So where was Paran ?This is yet to be agreed on. Why ? look here and here

¹³And they first took their journey according to the commandment of the LORD by the hand of Moses.

¹⁴In the first place went the standard of the camp of the children of Judah according to their armies: and over his host was Nahshon the son of Amminadab.

¹⁵And over the host of the tribe of the children of Issachar was Nethaneel the son of Zuar.

¹⁶And over the host of the tribe of the children of Zebulun was Eliab the son of Helon.

¹⁷And the tabernacle was taken down; and the sons of Gershon and the sons of Merari set forward, bearing the tabernacle.

¹⁸And the standard of the camp of Reuben set forward according to their armies: and over his host was Elizur the son of Shedeur.

¹⁹And over the host of the tribe of the children of Simeon was Shelumiel the son of Zurishaddai.

²⁰And over the host of the tribe of the children of Gad was Eliasaph the son of Deuel.

²¹And the Kohathites set forward, bearing the sanctuary: and the other did set up the tabernacle against they came.

²²And the standard of the camp of the children of Ephraim set forward according to their armies: and over his host was Elishama the son of Ammihud.

²³And over the host of the tribe of the children of Manasseh was Gamaliel the son of Pedahzur.

²⁴And over the host of the tribe of the children of Benjamin was Abidan the son of Gideoni.

²⁵And the standard of the camp of the children of Dan set forward, which was the rereward of all the camps throughout their hosts: and over his host was Ahiezer the son of Ammishaddai.

²⁶And over the host of the tribe of the children of Asher was Pagiel the son of Ocran.

²⁷And over the host of the tribe of the children of Naphtali was Ahira the son of Enan.

²⁸Thus were the journeyings of the children of Israel according to their armies, when they set forward.

²⁹And Moses said unto Hobab, the son of Raguel the Midianite, Moses' father in law, We are journeying unto the place of which the LORD said, I will give it you: come thou with us, and we will do thee good: for the LORD hath spoken good concerning Israel.

That would be Jethro... Is Reuel (as Moses father in law was first introduced) a misprint or mis-translation of Raguel or vice versa, or, is this a third name for Jethro, a man we were assured had left the encampment over a year ago.

Or as I suspected a man lurking behind the scenes using his priest's knowledge to do a con job on these fools that has since had repercussions over most of he known world and has caused more and bloodier deaths than anything else in known history.

³⁰And he said unto him, I will not go; but I will depart to mine own land, and to my kindred.

His father Jethro either needs help or is past it.

³¹And he said, Leave us not, I pray thee; forasmuch as thou knowest how we are to encamp in the wilderness, and thou mayest be to us instead of eyes.

³²And it shall be, if thou go with us, yea, it shall be, that what goodness the LORD shall do unto us, the same will we do unto thee.

³³And they departed from the mount of the LORD three days' journey: and the ark of the covenant of the LORD went before them in the three days' journey, to search out a resting place for them.

³⁴And the cloud of the LORD was upon them by day, when they went out of the camp.

³⁵And it came to pass, when the ark set forward, that Moses said, Rise up, LORD, and let thine enemies be scattered; and let them that hate thee flee before thee.

³⁶And when it rested, he said, Return, O LORD, unto the many thousands of Israel.

Numbers 9

¹And the LORD spake unto Moses in the wilderness of Sinai, in the first month of the second year after they were come out of the land of Egypt, saying,

At last , a time frame to place all this. So god made the universe in six days but can't organise an exaggerated number of refugees in all that time, but can con many precious things from these people. Not to mention underlining it all with a perpetual slaughter of animals.

²Let the children of Israel also keep the passover at his appointed season.

³In the fourteenth day of this month, at even, ye shall keep it in his appointed season: according to all the rites of it, and according to all the ceremonies thereof, shall ye keep it.

⁴And Moses spake unto the children of Israel, that they should keep the passover.

⁵And they kept the passover on the fourteenth day of the first month at even in the wilderness of Sinai: according to all that the LORD commanded Moses, so did the children of Israel.

⁶And there were certain men, who were defiled by the dead body of a man, that they could not keep the passover on that day: and they came before Moses and before Aaron on that day:

⁷And those men said unto him, We are defiled by the dead body of a man: wherefore are we kept back, that we may not offer an offering of the LORD in his appointed season among the children of Israel?

Yes! That's what we were told god said

⁸And Moses said unto them, Stand still, and I will hear what the LORD will command concerning you.

⁹And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

¹⁰Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If any man of you or of your posterity shall be unclean by reason of a dead body, or be in a journey afar off, yet he shall keep the passover unto the LORD.

¹¹The fourteenth day of the second month at even they shall keep it, and eat it with unleavened bread and bitter herbs.

¹²They shall leave none of it unto the morning, nor break any bone of it: according to all the ordinances of the passover they shall keep it.

¹³But the man that is clean, and is not in a journey, and forbeareth to keep the passover, even the same soul shall be cut off from among his people: because he brought not the offering of the LORD in his appointed season, that man shall bear his sin.

¹⁴And if a stranger shall sojourn among you, and will keep the passover unto the LORD; according to the ordinance of the passover, and according to the manner thereof, so shall he do: ye shall have one ordinance, both for the stranger, and for him that was born in the land.

So the great omniscience himself has changed his alzheimer's riddled mind again.....You would think that a being who lives outside of time who is so wise and fucking wonderful would manage to get his shit together a bit more, before telling his stupid creations what to do. Seriously how do pricks like Moses through to Fred Phelps get these halfwits to believe their unbelievable shit.

¹⁵And on the day that the tabernacle was reared up the cloud covered the tabernacle, namely, the tent of the testimony: and at even there was upon the tabernacle as it were the appearance of fire, until the morning.

¹⁶So it was alway: the cloud covered it by day, and the appearance of fire by night.

Well all these young acolytes need their lessons in the pyrotechnics. We don't want another accident like the one that killed Aaron's sons.

¹⁷And when the cloud was taken up from the tabernacle, then after that the children of Israel journeyed: and in the place where the cloud abode, there the children of Israel pitched their tents.

So they sent out a scout to find a new site(one where there wasn't yet a stagnant pool of blood from the multitude of sacrificed animals) and mark a suitable site with smoke.

¹⁸At the commandment of the LORD the children of Israel journeyed, and at the commandment of the LORD they pitched: as long as the cloud abode upon the tabernacle they rested in their tents.

¹⁹And when the cloud tarried long upon the tabernacle many days, then the children of Israel kept the charge of the LORD, and journeyed not.

So under a smoke screen they put up the big tent without revealing all the riches to the freshly fleeced, so they wouldn't realise how much had been conned from them.

²⁰And so it was, when the cloud was a few days upon the tabernacle; according to the commandment of the LORD they abode in their tents, and according to the commandment of the LORD they journeyed.

²¹And so it was, when the cloud abode from even unto the morning, and that the cloud was taken up in the morning, then they journeyed: whether it was by day or by night that the cloud was taken up, they journeyed.

²²Or whether it were two days, or a month, or a year, that the cloud tarried upon the tabernacle, remaining thereon, the children of Israel abode in their tents, and journeyed not: but when it was taken up, they journeyed.

²³At the commandment of the LORD they rested in the tents, and at the commandment of the LORD they journeyed: they kept the charge of the LORD, at the commandment of the LORD by the hand of Moses.


So they started wandering , on a journey that was already into it's second year a journey that took Abraham and the brothers of Joseph a few day's , a journey that was destined to last fourty years. You would think JHWH would be better at reading a map especially from up there on a cloud.

Numbers 8

¹And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²Speak unto Aaron and say unto him, When thou lightest the lamps, the seven lamps shall give light over against the candlestick.

Is he not speaking to him now ? Have god and Aaron had a tiff ? Or has Moses forbidden Aaron and god to get together in case they have another man on man on beast orgy ?

³And Aaron did so; he lighted the lamps thereof over against the candlestick, as the LORD commanded Moses.

⁴And this work of the candlestick was of beaten gold, unto the shaft thereof, unto the flowers thereof, was beaten work: according unto the pattern which the LORD had shewed Moses, so he made the candlestick.

Not an image of flowers surely......Did god not forbid the making of images of any living thing ?

⁵And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

⁶Take the Levites from among the children of Israel, and cleanse them.

⁷And thus shalt thou do unto them, to cleanse them: Sprinkle water of purifying upon them, and let them shave all their flesh, and let them wash their clothes, and so make themselves clean.

So now god is demanding shaven scrotums from the holiest......... No god isn't gay at all.........honest....... no really !

⁸Then let them take a young bullock with his meat offering, even fine flour mingled with oil, and another young bullock shalt thou take for a sin offering.

⁹And thou shalt bring the Levites before the tabernacle of the congregation: and thou shalt gather the whole assembly of the children of Israel together:

¹⁰And thou shalt bring the Levites before the LORD: and the children of Israel shall put their hands upon the Levites:

Great, a communal mutual wank...you can count me in..... Perhaps if modern churches did this they might have a bit more business.

¹¹And Aaron shall offer the Levites before the LORD for an offering of the children of Israel, that they may execute the service of the LORD.

This verse has to be at the front of the Catholic priest's hand book.

¹²And the Levites shall lay their hands upon the heads of the bullocks: and thou shalt offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering, unto the LORD, to make an atonement for the Levites.

¹³And thou shalt set the Levites before Aaron, and before his sons, and offer them for an offering unto the LORD.

¹⁴Thus shalt thou separate the Levites from among the children of Israel: and the Levites shall be mine.

¹⁵And after that shall the Levites go in to do the service of the tabernacle of the congregation: and thou shalt cleanse them, and offer them for an offering.

¹⁶For they are wholly given unto me from among the children of Israel; instead of such as open every womb, even instead of the firstborn of all the children of Israel, have I taken them unto me.

¹⁷For all the firstborn of the children of Israel are mine, both man and beast: on the day that I smote every firstborn in the land of Egypt I sanctified them for myself.

¹⁸And I have taken the Levites for all the firstborn of the children of Israel.

¹⁹And I have given the Levites as a gift to Aaron and to his sons from among the children of Israel, to do the service of the children of Israel in the tabernacle of the congregation, and to make an atonement for the children of Israel: that there be no plague among the children of Israel, when the children of Israel come nigh unto the sanctuary.

Because de lawd knows that nothing protects against disease as well as hocus pocus and mumbo jumbo.....

²⁰And Moses, and Aaron, and all the congregation of the children of Israel, did to the Levites according unto all that the LORD commanded Moses concerning the Levites, so did the children of Israel unto them.

²¹And the Levites were purified, and they washed their clothes; and Aaron offered them as an offering before the LORD; and Aaron made an atonement for them to cleanse them.

²²And after that went the Levites in to do their service in the tabernacle of the congregation before Aaron, and before his sons: as the LORD had commanded Moses concerning the Levites, so did they unto them.

²³And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²⁴This is it that belongeth unto the Levites: from twenty and five years old and upward they shall go in to wait upon the service of the tabernacle of the congregation:

²⁵And from the age of fifty years they shall cease waiting upon the service thereof, and shall serve no more:

So god only wants men in their prime of life .....or are we still counting in what I think are Egyptian years ...then they would be servicing the entity in the big tent from twelve and a half to twenty five.

²⁶But shall minister with their brethren in the tabernacle of the congregation, to keep the charge, and shall do no service. Thus shalt thou do unto the Levites touching their charge.

Numbers 7

¹And it came to pass on the day that Moses had fully set up the tabernacle, and had anointed it, and sanctified it, and all the instruments thereof, both the altar and all the vessels thereof, and had anointed them, and sanctified them;

All spick and span.... I smell a good fleecing and a major con job coming up.

²That the princes of Israel, heads of the house of their fathers, who were the princes of the tribes, and were over them that were numbered, offered:

So these homeless ex slaves are now princes.That'll no doubt mean an increase in their extortion payments offerings

³And they brought their offering before the LORD, six covered wagons, and twelve oxen; a wagon for two of the princes, and for each one an ox: and they brought them before the tabernacle.

Funny how no wagons have been mentioned before.

⁴And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

⁵Take it of them, that they may be to do the service of the tabernacle of the congregation; and thou shalt give them unto the Levites, to every man according to his service.

⁶And Moses took the wagons and the oxen, and gave them unto the Levites.

⁷Two wagons and four oxen he gave unto the sons of Gershon, according to their service:

⁸And four wagons and eight oxen he gave unto the sons of Merari, according unto their service, under the hand of Ithamar the son of Aaron the priest.

⁹But unto the sons of Kohath he gave none: because the service of the sanctuary belonging unto them was that they should bear upon their shoulders.

So it seems not all princes are equal

¹⁰And the princes offered for dedicating of the altar in the day that it was anointed, even the princes offered their offering before the altar.

¹¹And the LORD said unto Moses, They shall offer their offering, each prince on his day, for the dedicating of the altar.

¹²And he that offered his offering the first day was Nahshon the son of Amminadab, of the tribe of Judah:

¹³And his offering was one silver charger, the weight thereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them were full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

¹⁴One spoon of ten shekels of gold, full of incense:

¹⁵One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

¹⁶One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

¹⁷And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Nahshon the son of Amminadab.

¹⁸On the second day Nethaneel the son of Zuar, prince of Issachar, did offer:

¹⁹He offered for his offering one silver charger, the weight whereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

²⁰One spoon of gold of ten shekels, full of incense:

²¹One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

²²One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

²³And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Nethaneel the son of Zuar.

²⁴On the third day Eliab the son of Helon, prince of the children of Zebulun, did offer:

²⁵His offering was one silver charger, the weight whereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

²⁶One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

²⁷One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

²⁸One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

²⁹And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Eliab the son of Helon.

³⁰On the fourth day Elizur the son of Shedeur, prince of the children of Reuben, did offer:

³¹His offering was one silver charger of the weight of an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

³²One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

³³One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

³⁴One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

³⁵And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Elizur the son of Shedeur.

³⁶On the fifth day Shelumiel the son of Zurishaddai, prince of the children of Simeon, did offer:

³⁷His offering was one silver charger, the weight whereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

³⁸One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

³⁹One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

⁴⁰One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

⁴¹And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Shelumiel the son of Zurishaddai.

⁴²On the sixth day Eliasaph the son of Deuel, prince of the children of Gad, offered:

⁴³His offering was one silver charger of the weight of an hundred and thirty shekels, a silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

⁴⁴One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

⁴⁵One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

⁴⁶One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

⁴⁷And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Eliasaph the son of Deuel.

⁴⁸On the seventh day Elishama the son of Ammihud, prince of the children of Ephraim, offered:

⁴⁹His offering was one silver charger, the weight whereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

⁵⁰One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

⁵¹One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

⁵²One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

⁵³And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Elishama the son of Ammihud.

Hang on, hang on! What happened to observing the sabbath surely getting all that booty to the big tent must be regarded as work.Just carrying the plate and bowl would be enough work let alone managing all those skittish young animals.

⁵⁴On the eighth day offered Gamaliel the son of Pedahzur, prince of the children of Manasseh:

⁵⁵His offering was one silver charger of the weight of an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

⁵⁶One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

⁵⁷One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

⁵⁸One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

⁵⁹And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Gamaliel the son of Pedahzur.

⁶⁰On the ninth day Abidan the son of Gideoni, prince of the children of Benjamin, offered:

⁶¹His offering was one silver charger, the weight whereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

⁶²One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

⁶³One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

⁶⁴One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

⁶⁵And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Abidan the son of Gideoni.

⁶⁶On the tenth day Ahiezer the son of Ammishaddai, prince of the children of Dan, offered:

⁶⁷His offering was one silver charger, the weight whereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

⁶⁸One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

⁶⁹One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

⁷⁰One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

⁷¹And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Ahiezer the son of Ammishaddai.

⁷²On the eleventh day Pagiel the son of Ocran, prince of the children of Asher, offered:

⁷³His offering was one silver charger, the weight whereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

⁷⁴One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

⁷⁵One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

⁷⁶One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

⁷⁷And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Pagiel the son of Ocran.

⁷⁸On the twelfth day Ahira the son of Enan, prince of the children of Naphtali, offered:

⁷⁹His offering was one silver charger, the weight whereof was an hundred and thirty shekels, one silver bowl of seventy shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary; both of them full of fine flour mingled with oil for a meat offering:

⁸⁰One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense:

⁸¹One young bullock, one ram, one lamb of the first year, for a burnt offering:

⁸²One kid of the goats for a sin offering:

⁸³And for a sacrifice of peace offerings, two oxen, five rams, five he goats, five lambs of the first year: this was the offering of Ahira the son of Enan.

⁸⁴This was the dedication of the altar, in the day when it was anointed, by the princes of Israel: twelve chargers of silver, twelve silver bowls, twelve spoons of gold:

⁸⁵Each charger of silver weighing an hundred and thirty shekels, each bowl seventy: all the silver vessels weighed two thousand and four hundred shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary:

⁸⁶The golden spoons were twelve, full of incense, weighing ten shekels apiece, after the shekel of the sanctuary: all the gold of the spoons was an hundred and twenty shekels.

⁸⁷All the oxen for the burnt offering were twelve bullocks, the rams twelve, the lambs of the first year twelve, with their meat offering: and the kids of the goats for sin offering twelve.

⁸⁸And all the oxen for the sacrifice of the peace offerings were twenty and four bullocks, the rams sixty, the he goats sixty, the lambs of the first year sixty. This was the dedication of the altar, after that it was anointed.

So we are expected to believe that, voluntarily with no coercion these twelve "princes" "offered" exactly the same bounty.

⁸⁹And when Moses was gone into the tabernacle of the congregation to speak with him, then he heard the voice of one speaking unto him from off the mercy seat that was upon the ark of testimony, from between the two cherubims: and he spake unto him.


I'll bet he masturbated as he reported to his invisible despot about the blood bath outside.