Exodus 23

Exodus 23

This starts with an attempt at justice.
¹Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness.
²Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment:
³Neither shalt thou countenance a poor man in his cause.
⁴If thou meet thine enemy's ox or his ass going astray, thou shalt surely bring it back to him again.
⁵If thou see the ass of him that hateth thee lying under his burden, and wouldest forbear to help him, thou shalt surely help with him.
⁶Thou shalt not wrest the judgment of thy poor in his cause.
This seems to be saying no matter if a man is poor or your enemy he deserves respect and justice, are they at last getting the idea of a society.

⁷Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not: for I will not justify the wicked.

Innocent and Righteous !! remember that.

⁸And thou shalt take no gift: for the gift blindeth the wise, and perverteth the words of the righteous.

No Bribes.

⁹Also thou shalt not oppress a stranger: for ye know the heart of a stranger, seeing ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.

See verses 23 and 24 !

¹⁰And six years thou shalt sow thy land, and shalt gather in the fruits thereof:

¹¹But the seventh year thou shalt let it rest and lie still; that the poor of thy people may eat: and what they leave the beasts of the field shall eat. In like manner thou shalt deal with thy vineyard, and with thy oliveyard.

They gonna start farming the desert now ? Does peyote grow out in the arse end of Egypt/Israel/Palestine ? I know they aint gonna grow olives or grapes out there.

¹²Six days thou shalt do thy work, and on the seventh day thou shalt rest: that thine ox and thine ass may rest, and the son of thy handmaid, and the stranger, may be refreshed.

¹³And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth.

¹⁴Three times thou shalt keep a feast unto me in the year.

¹⁵Thou shalt keep the feast of unleavened bread: (thou shalt eat unleavened bread seven days, as I commanded thee, in the time appointed of the month Abib; for in it thou camest out from Egypt: and none shall appear before me empty:)

¹⁶And the feast of harvest, the firstfruits of thy labours, which thou hast sown in the field: and the feast of ingathering, which is in the end of the year, when thou hast gathered in thy labours out of the field.

¹⁷Three times in the year all thy males shall appear before the LORD God.

That'll be males only, are they meeting at a gay bar ?

cue Electric 6

¹⁸Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leavened bread; neither shall the fat of my sacrifice remain until the morning.

¹⁹The first of the firstfruits of thy land thou shalt bring into the house of the LORD thy God. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.

????

²⁰Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared.

²¹Beware of him, and obey his voice, provoke him not; for he will not pardon your transgressions: for my name is in him.

²²But if thou shalt indeed obey his voice, and do all that I speak; then I will be an enemy unto thine enemies, and an adversary unto thine adversaries.

²³For mine Angel shall go before thee, and bring thee in unto the Amorites, and the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Canaanites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites: and I will cut them off.

²⁴Thou shalt not bow down to their gods, nor serve them, nor do after their works: but thou shalt utterly overthrow them, and quite break down their images.

What was that bit earlier about not oppressing strangers ?

²⁵And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.

²⁶There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfil.

²⁷I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come, and I will make all thine enemies turn their backs unto thee.

²⁸And I will send hornets before thee, which shall drive out the Hivite, the Canaanite, and the Hittite, from before thee.

Are the afore mentioned not strangers ?

²⁹I will not drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the land become desolate, and the beast of the field multiply against thee.

Is the almighty admitting a weakness here ?

³⁰By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased, and inherit the land.

Here we are over 3,000 years later and he still hasn't managed it, why do people fear him ?

³¹And I will set thy bounds from the Red sea even unto the sea of the Philistines, and from the desert unto the river: for I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand; and thou shalt drive them out before thee.

Really ! It's like me wishing to spend a week with half a dozen playboy models, I can wish all I want, but it ain't gonna happen !

³²Thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor with their gods.

Gods again !

³³They shall not dwell in thy land, lest they make thee sin against me: for if thou serve their gods, it will surely be a snare unto thee.
This ones true ! by sharing the same land they make the Israelites descendants kill and maim many innocents.

Exodus 22

Exodus 22

So the first few laws were about the owning of human beings, ranging from contracted service through to outright slavery with more laws about protecting the slave owners rights, rather than protecting PEOPLE from abusive masters.
The next set is about thieves. theft and personal properties. Considering the Israelites allegedly were slaves till recent events this just underlines the fact they must have been the most prosperous slaves in history, and also raises the question, if they saw thier slavery as so wrong why do they feel it is alright to enslave others.
Slaves in more recent history didn't even own the clothes on their backs.
¹If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep.
²If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, there shall no blood be shed for him.
³If the sun be risen upon him, there shall be blood shed for him; for he should make full restitution; if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft.
⁴If the theft be certainly found in his hand alive, whether it be ox, or ass, or sheep; he shall restore double.
⁵If a man shall cause a field or vineyard to be eaten, and shall put in his beast, and shall feed in another man's field; of the best of his own field, and of the best of his own vineyard, shall he make restitution.
⁶If fire break out, and catch in thorns, so that the stacks of corn, or the standing corn, or the field, be consumed therewith; he that kindled the fire shall surely make restitution.
⁷If a man shall deliver unto his neighbour money or stuff to keep, and it be stolen out of the man's house; if the thief be found, let him pay double.
⁸If the thief be not found, then the master of the house shall be brought unto the judges, to see whether he have put his hand unto his neighbour's goods.
⁹For all manner of trespass, whether it be for ox, for ass, for sheep, for raiment, or for any manner of lost thing which another challengeth to be his, the cause of both parties shall come before the judges; and whom the judges shall condemn, he shall pay double unto his neighbour.
¹⁰If a man deliver unto his neighbour an ass, or an ox, or a sheep, or any beast, to keep; and it die, or be hurt, or driven away, no man seeing it:
¹¹Then shall an oath of the LORD be between them both, that he hath not put his hand unto his neighbour's goods; and the owner of it shall accept thereof, and he shall not make it good.
¹²And if it be stolen from him, he shall make restitution unto the owner thereof.
¹³If it be torn in pieces, then let him bring it for witness, and he shall not make good that which was torn.
¹⁴And if a man borrow ought of his neighbour, and it be hurt, or die, the owner thereof being not with it, he shall surely make it good.
¹⁵But if the owner thereof be with it, he shall not make it good: if it be an hired thing, it came for his hire.
¹⁶And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.
¹⁷If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.

Still on women as a possession then.
Now a change of tack.

¹⁸Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

The above line in itself responsible for MILLIONS of church sanctioned ritual tortures and murders from the 15th century. Sanctioned by the not so innocent pope Innocent the eighth in his Malleus maleficarum and unfortunately occasionally still occurring today. And it's a mis-translation a more accurate translation would be "thou shalt not suffer a POISONER to live". But is still translated a sorceress(nlt)

¹⁹Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.

Does this even apply in Wales, Australia and New Zealand

²⁰He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.

Still more evidence for more gods.

²¹Thou shalt neither vex a stranger, nor oppress him: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.
²²Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child.
²³If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry;

Has god had his ears cleaned out ?

²⁴And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.

That'll be hot earwax then. But what does an alpowerful diety need with a sword ? Zeus or Thor would have used a thunderbolt, Odin and and others an earthquake not that powerful in the gods then is old yhvh.

²⁵If thou lend money to any of my people that is poor by thee, thou shalt not be to him as an usurer, neither shalt thou lay upon him usury.
²⁶If thou at all take thy neighbour's raiment to pledge, thou shalt deliver it unto him by that the sun goeth down:
²⁷For that is his covering only, it is his raiment for his skin: wherein shall he sleep? and it shall come to pass, when he crieth unto me, that I will hear; for I am gracious.

What ?
Something altruistic ? Where did this come from?

²⁸Thou shalt not revile the gods, nor curse the ruler of thy people.

Guess I'm in deep shit then.

²⁹Thou shalt not delay to offer the first of thy ripe fruits, and of thy liquors: the firstborn of thy sons shalt thou give unto me.

Is this in a "he will grow up to be a preist" kind of way or a "rip his heart out on a bloodstained altar" kind of way.

³⁰Likewise shalt thou do with thine oxen, and with thy sheep: seven days it shall be with his dam; on the eighth day thou shalt give it me.

Looks like it may be the bloodstained alter kind of way, not what I consider a good method of contraception.

³¹And ye shall be holy men unto me: neither shall ye eat any flesh that is torn of beasts in the field; ye shall cast it to the dogs.

Exodus Recap

Just to break up the Lawgiving and because I thought it's about time here's another recap.
So far we have learned that god is not worth a wank.
We have learned that he is at best a loosely based amalgam of sadistic senile psychopaths at worst a totally fictional character utilised as an excuse for the "followers" of god to be sadistic senile psychopaths.
Oh! and forgetful don't forget forgetful.
We have seen how the "chosen" people had settled in egypt and been told(No matter of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary) how their lives over generations degraded into slavery, but the still have gold and silver so must have been the richest slaves in history.
We are then introduced to a character whose birth and early years mirrors a real historical figure from about 1,000 years earlier, Sargon of Accad.
We are told how after committing murder or at least manslaughter, Moses goes on the run, meets(in the family fashion at the local watering hole) his wife to be.
Her father , who also happens to be a midianite priest is nearby.An average man hardly mentioned, although he manages to change his name from Ruel to Jethro in record time allows the by now old man Moses to marry his daughter.
Then we are told that Moses is spoken to by a burning bush and taught how to do simple conjuring tricks to impress the pharoah.
Who incidently remains unimpressed.
At this time the priest, Jethro is conspicuous in his absence.
Real History then interjects with the successive plagues.
Moses then un-succesively claims his invisible friend is responsible with the message ............let my people go or else !
HE'S JUST A POOR BOY, FROM A POOR FAMILY SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY easy come, easy go, will you let me go Bismillah! NO! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO! LET HIM GO Bismillah! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO! LET HIM GO! Bismillah! We WILL NOT LET YOU GO! LET HIM GO! Will not let you go Let me go Will not let you go Let me go
Apologies to Freddie and Queen
Huge Eruption
and no that wasn't Freddie
.....final plague
Moses jumping up and down like a epileptic Kangaroo going godidit,godidit,godidit,godidit
Pharoah finally relents and Moses takes his people to the seaside.
Pharoah then relents his relenting and gives chase after them, although outnumbered allegedly by........ just counting .............men........ only men........1,000 to one.
Just men, Not counting goats,cows,children,lice,fleas oh and of course women.
But they were saved by god as they would have been massacred with odds like that.
They know no Isrealites were killed during the plagues and the tidal wave because they had a head count afterwards and all the survivors were there.
The troupe then get lost in the desert and although we are told time and again that they have goats cows children etc. god is forced to save them from starvation by sending them all manner of manna.
Just after Moses "miraculously" finds some water, they also then find some people to fight with, not connected at all.
Somehow Jethro manages to find the lost legion,then to EVERY BODIES surprise three days later god shows himself accompanied by trumpets,fire and smoke.Today there would be lasers and inflatables too.
Perhaps Scoobie and Shaggy would get to the bottom of it but three thousand years later people believe god really appeared and god gave Moses ten commandments.
Yeah Right!
Jethro then says K Bye Thanx
Moses sprouts laws

Exodus 21

Exodus 21

¹Now these are the judgments which thou shalt set before them.

Now we can all agree that a civilised society needs to, in some degree ,work together for the success of the greater community. To do this successfully a societies members should have respect for other members needs and circumstances. So any fledgling society should be based on this criteria for the mutual benefit of all its members.

²If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing.

So straight in there with contracted servitude, in a city state maybe not such a bad idea a person can sell themselves into a contract for an agreed sum, but hang on they are still living in tents in the desert. An environment that ok would need something as a cohesive force for the mutual protection of the community but surely this would only be the start of a class structure akin to the one that they have just left.

³If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him.

Ok I can see that but.....

⁴If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself.

Umm.... No equality for women and no respect for the sanctity of marriage.

⁵And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free:

The words Either and Or not included as that would mean being blackmailed into service to stay with your family.

And if the servant shall plainly say,EITHER I love my master, OR my wife, and my children; I will not go out free:

⁶Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever.

So the reward for liking your employer and or your family eternal servitude and an earring.

⁷And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

Some translations are more honest and do say slave

⁸If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.

But the master can sell her back if she does not wholly satisfy him ?

Would that not brand her as

A) Not a virgin therefore unclean

B) A lousy lay

⁹And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters.

After the manner of daughters ? What the option to sell her off ?

Is this just an escape clause to sell on someone else's daughter as long as you go through a formal betrothal?

¹⁰If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

If he has another wife it's fine as long as he feeds clothes and slips her one occasionally

¹¹And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

But if he doesn't she can fuck off !
Am I mis-reading something here or is the implication that, the women at least were better off in Egypt?

¹²He that smiteth a man, so that he die, shall be surely put to death.

¹³And if a man lie not in wait, but God deliver him into his hand; then I will appoint thee a place whither he shall flee.

This apparently covers the difference between murder and manslaughter.

¹⁴But if a man come presumptuously upon his neighbour, to slay him with guile; thou shalt take him from mine altar, that he may die.

No sanctury for murder, except is that not excactly why moses fled from egypt when he first met Jethro/Ruel

¹⁵And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

¹⁶And he that stealeth a man, and selleth him, or if he be found in his hand, he shall surely be put to death.

Joseph didn't do that he just fucked their heads for a while.

¹⁷And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Be honest here what child ever in the whole history of the world has ever gone through their teenage years without ever cursing their parents?

¹⁸And if men strive together, and one smite another with a stone, or with his fist, and he die not, but keepeth his bed:

¹⁹If he rise again, and walk abroad upon his staff, then shall he that smote him be quit: only he shall pay for the loss of his time, and shall cause him to be thoroughly healed.

So if you twat someone too hard but they recover it's ok as long as you give them some sick pay ?

²⁰And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished.

²¹Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.

So you can beat a slave nearly to death, as long as they recover, and not expect punishment.

²²If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.

²³And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life,

²⁴Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,

²⁵Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.

It's ok to have physical disagreements but if in doing so you cause a pregnant woman to miscarry you must pay compensation.

²⁶And if a man smite the eye of his servant, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; he shall let him go free for his eye's sake.

After all who would want a one-eyed slave .

²⁷And if he smite out his manservant's tooth, or his maidservant's tooth; he shall let him go free for his tooth's sake.

I wonder was there a blackmarket for shed teeth ..... is this where we get the idea of the tooth fairy. Freedom available get your master to strike you in front of witnesses and spit out a tooth.

²⁸If an ox gore a man or a woman, that they die: then the ox shall be surely stoned, and his flesh shall not be eaten; but the owner of the ox shall be quit.

Tell me again about these starving people ?

²⁹But if the ox were wont to push with his horn in time past, and it hath been testified to his owner, and he hath not kept him in, but that he hath killed a man or a woman; the ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death.

Bit unfortunate, especially if someone else unwittingly let out the ox.

³⁰If there be laid on him a sum of money, then he shall give for the ransom of his life whatsoever is laid upon him.

Compensation,compensation,compensation.

³¹Whether he have gored a son, or have gored a daughter, according to this judgment shall it be done unto him.

Compensation,compensation,compensation.

³²If the ox shall push a manservant or a maidservant; he shall give unto their master thirty shekels of silver, and the ox shall be stoned.

limited compensation not for the family of the gored but for his/her master.

³³And if a man shall open a pit, or if a man shall dig a pit, and not cover it, and an ox or an ass fall therein;

I would have thought an open pit was less of a liability than a covered one !

³⁴The owner of the pit shall make it good, and give money unto the owner of them; and the dead beast shall be his.

³⁵And if one man's ox hurt another's, that he die; then they shall sell the live ox, and divide the money of it; and the dead ox also they shall divide.

³⁶Or if it be known that the ox hath used to push in time past, and his owner hath not kept him in; he shall surely pay ox for ox; and the dead shall be his own.

Is it me or are oxen given more resposibility for their own actions than women ?
Now I am confused.
I thought the whole point of getting out of Egypt was to raise the personal freedoms of the poor underprivileged Hebrews.
Now there maybe some ruling/judging over class that may be prospering from this legislation, but to me this is coming over as a recipe for class differences that actively encourages slavery and would in time lead to a slave culture and a caste system. Is this yet another connection with the Hindu culture ?

Exodus 20 first rendition of 10 commandments

Exodus 20

¹And God spake all these words, saying,

²I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

Because I am so impressive you may have forgotten who I am

³Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

So god says there are other gods and his insecurity says they may be more impressive and worthy of worship than himself

⁴Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

That'll have the statue carvers union out on strike also makes the Masons position a bit dubious. And what about snowmen that's not going to affect people in the middle east but surely even the Phelps kids made snowmen. And I won't even mention the catholics oops too late !The list is endless, dildo manufacturers, toy makers, modelmakers photographers where will it end ?

⁵Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

Didn't he cover that with the first one when he said no other gods before him ?

And while we are there. Sorry kids you're fucked !

⁶And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

Is that not saying do as I say, or else ?

⁷Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Does he mean the name JHVH ? What a cunt!

⁸Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

What ? even if you're paid double time ?

⁹Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

I work continental shifts four on four off......... fuck I am doomed

¹⁰But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

I thought he covered that already, then I noticed this is the cop out so the wife can do the housework and cook dinner.

¹¹For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

There we are again subtle hints that god's wife or god's mum cooked his sabbath dinner for him while he rested

¹²Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

I thought they were still in the desert, if that's the land he's given them, well I see plenty of family arguments

¹³Thou shalt not kill.

Maybe, just maybe, if this commandment had been first, people may have paid it a bit more attention, rather than getting stuck on the first one and killing anyone of a different faith !

¹⁴Thou shalt not commit adultery.

How else were people supposed to procreate before formalised marriages were brought to them ?

¹⁵Thou shalt not steal.

I won't comment on this one for a while but I think I might have reason to bring it up in future once or twice.

¹⁶Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Unless of course you can afford to pay other's to back up your lies.

¹⁷Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

So no keeping up with the Jones'es, no wanting to better your lot.Hang on isn't that what got them there in the first place ?

¹⁸And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw it, they removed, and stood afar off.

When all else fails rely on a smoke screen, something utilised right up to the present day by politicians and religious leaders.

¹⁹And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die.

²⁰And Moses said unto the people, Fear not: for God is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not.

²¹And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was.

²²And the LORD said unto Moses, Thus thou shalt say unto the children of Israel, Ye have seen that I have talked with you from heaven.

²³Ye shall not make with me gods of silver, neither shall ye make unto you gods of gold.

Repeating himself again, bugger that alzheimers !

Is it me or without the repetition or rephrasing there a a few less than 10 commandments?

²⁴An altar of earth thou shalt make unto me, and shalt sacrifice thereon thy burnt offerings, and thy peace offerings, thy sheep, and thine oxen: in all places where I record my name I will come unto thee, and I will bless thee.

²⁵And if thou wilt make me an altar of stone, thou shalt not build it of hewn stone: for if thou lift up thy tool upon it, thou hast polluted it.

²⁶Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.
I was going to refrain from making the tool penis analogy but there, for no apparent reason, right there, in the next verse is a naked reference. See, It's not just my mind.