2 Samuel 10

   ¹And it came to pass after this, that the king of the children of Ammon died, and Hanun his son reigned in his stead.

The dead king was named Nahash you will find him mentioned in earlier chapters of first and second Samuel

   ²Then said David, I will shew kindness unto Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father shewed kindness unto me. And David sent to comfort him by the hand of his servants for his father. And David's servants came into the land of the children of Ammon.

Whenever I read the word kindness and it is associated with a biblical "hero" I cannot help but think there is a reason for this "kindness".
 
   ³And the princes of the children of Ammon said unto Hanun their lord, Thinkest thou that David doth honour thy father, that he hath sent comforters unto thee? hath not David rather sent his servants unto thee, to search the city, and to spy it out, and to overthrow it?

Great minds think alike.
 
   ⁴Wherefore Hanun took David's servants, and shaved off the one half of their beards, and cut off their garments in the middle, even to their buttocks, and sent them away.

Really!?
They suspected them of spying and that is all they did.
 
Perhaps we should treat terrorists in this manner.

Especially if the bikini was made of bacon

   ⁵When they told it unto David, he sent to meet them, because the men were greatly ashamed: and the king said, Tarry at Jericho until your beards be grown, and then return. 
   ⁶And when the children of Ammon saw that they stank before David, the children of Ammon sent and hired the Syrians of Bethrehob and the Syrians of Zoba, twenty thousand footmen, and of king Maacah a thousand men, and of Ishtob twelve thousand men.

I thought it was the Ammonites that thought there was something about Davids servants visit that "smelled funny."

   ⁷And when David heard of it, he sent Joab, and all the host of the mighty men.
   ⁸And the children of Ammon came out, and put the battle in array at the entering in of the gate: and the Syrians of Zoba, and of Rehob, and Ishtob, and Maacah, were by themselves in the field.
   ⁹When Joab saw that the front of the battle was against him before and behind, he chose of all the choice men of Israel, and put them in array against the Syrians:
   ¹⁰And the rest of the people he delivered into the hand of Abishai his brother, that he might put them in array against the children of Ammon.
   ¹¹And he said, If the Syrians be too strong for me, then thou shalt help me: but if the children of Ammon be too strong for thee, then I will come and help thee.
   ¹²Be of good courage, and let us play the men for our people, and for the cities of our God: and the LORD do that which seemeth him good.
   ¹³And Joab drew nigh, and the people that were with him, unto the battle against the Syrians: and they fled before him.
   ¹⁴And when the children of Ammon saw that the Syrians were fled, then fled they also before Abishai, and entered into the city. So Joab returned from the children of Ammon, and came to Jerusalem.
   ¹⁵And when the Syrians saw that they were smitten before Israel, they gathered themselves together.
   ¹⁶And Hadarezer sent, and brought out the Syrians that were beyond the river: and they came to Helam; and Shobach the captain of the host of Hadarezer went before them.
   ¹⁷And when it was told David, he gathered all Israel together, and passed over Jordan, and came to Helam. And the Syrians set themselves in array against David, and fought with him.
   ¹⁸And the Syrians fled before Israel; and David slew the men of seven hundred chariots of the Syrians, and forty thousand horsemen, and smote Shobach the captain of their host, who died there.
   ¹⁹And when all the kings that were servants to Hadarezer saw that they were smitten before Israel, they made peace with Israel, and served them. So the Syrians feared to help the children of Ammon any more.

To me the way this reads, the state of israel (if it existed at this time) was able to gather an army capable of standing against an army of Ammonites plus 33,000 mercinaries. For once I am able to accept these (approximate) numbers for the hostile forces.
I do however remain unconvinced that this battle happened, for the simple reason there would be evidence. To date I am aware of none.

2 Samuel 9

   ¹And David said, Is there yet any that is left of the house of Saul, that I may shew him kindness for Jonathan's sake?
   ²And there was of the house of Saul a servant whose name was Ziba. And when they had called him unto David, the king said unto him, Art thou Ziba? And he said, Thy servant is he.

So, although Ziba is "of the house of Saul" he is not counted because of his social standing.

   ³And the king said, Is there not yet any of the house of Saul, that I may shew the kindness of God unto him? And Ziba said unto the king, Jonathan hath yet a son, which is lame on his feet.

 Need I mention delard hates cripples lev 21:18 
Could the reason be that delard made him incorrectly and it shows that he is infallible? 

                                                              Hope Chapel Quartet

                                                       22606 - No Cripples In Heaven
                                                  (R.L. Mabe, Sound Inc Music, BMI)


   ⁴And the king said unto him, Where is he? And Ziba said unto the king, Behold, he is in the house of Machir, the son of Ammiel, in Lodebar.
   ⁵Then king David sent, and fetched him out of the house of Machir, the son of Ammiel, from Lodebar.
   ⁶Now when Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, was come unto David, he fell on his face, and did reverence. And David said, Mephibosheth. And he answered, Behold thy servant!

Please note when taking a cripple home dont forget his zimmer frame.

 
   ⁷And David said unto him, Fear not: for I will surely shew thee kindness for Jonathan thy father's sake, and will restore thee all the land of Saul thy father; and thou shalt eat bread at my table continually.
   ⁸And he bowed himself, and said, What is thy servant, that thou shouldest look upon such a dead dog as I am?
   ⁹Then the king called to Ziba, Saul's servant, and said unto him, I have given unto thy master's son all that pertained to Saul and to all his house.
   ¹⁰Thou therefore, and thy sons, and thy servants, shall till the land for him, and thou shalt bring in the fruits, that thy master's son may have food to eat: but Mephibosheth thy master's son shall eat bread always at my table. Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.

So Davids "kindness" to one man that delard despises involves the comtinued enslavement of another mans whole family, and to cap it all another twenty people which are the servants servants.
 Let's face it in delards world these would be either women or people of a different race.

   ¹¹Then said Ziba unto the king, According to all that my lord the king hath commanded his servant, so shall thy servant do. As for Mephibosheth, said the king, he shall eat at my table, as one of the king's sons.
   ¹²And Mephibosheth had a young son, whose name was Micha. And all that dwelt in the house of Ziba were servants unto Mephibosheth.
   ¹³So Mephibosheth dwelt in Jerusalem: for he did eat continually at the king's table; and was lame on both his feet.