Wednesday, 16 February 2011

1 Samuel 18

 1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.  
2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family.  
3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.
4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

So now  have we moved on from the love affair between Samuel and Saul, to another.

 5 Whatever mission Saul sent him on, David was so successful that Saul gave him a high rank in the army. This pleased all the troops, and Saul’s officers as well.
 6 When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with timbrels and lyres.
7 As they danced, they sang:
   “Saul has slain his thousands,
   and David his tens of thousands.”
 8 Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” 9 And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David.
 10 The next day an evil spirit from God came forcefully on Saul. He was prophesying in his house, while David was playing the lyre, as he usually did. Saul had a spear in his hand 11 and he hurled it, saying to himself, “I’ll pin David to the wall.” But David eluded him twice.

So de lard is sending evil spirits, in a while once the Romans get a hold on these scriptures they will blame the adversary Satan for sending "evil" Whereas in this instance at least, it is obvious that Saul was in a jealous rage.

 12 Saul was afraid of David, because the LORD was with David but had departed from Saul

So de lard is sending "evil spirits" to get Saul to kill David and yet at the same time is "with David".Alzheimers or schizophrenia?

13 So he sent David away from him and gave him command over a thousand men, and David led the troops in their campaigns.  
14 In everything he did he had great success, because the LORD was with him.

Because no general throughout the worlds history had any success without the backing of de lard, except for, the likes of Hannibal, Alexander,Julius Ceaser,Genghis Khan, Boadicea and Attila, to name but a few.
15 When Saul saw how successful he was, he was afraid of him.  
16 But all Israel and Judah loved David, because he led them in their campaigns.
 17 Saul said to David, “Here is my older daughter Merab. I will give her to you in marriage; only serve me bravely and fight the battles of the LORD.” For Saul said to himself, “I will not raise a hand against him. Let the Philistines do that!”

Giving a gay guy a wife, really! Does he think he lives in the American bible belts?
 18 But David said to Saul, “Who am I, and what is my family or my clan in Israel, that I should become the king’s son-in-law?” 19 So when the time came for Merab, Saul’s daughter, to be given to David, she was given in marriage to Adriel of Meholah.

 20 Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it, he was pleased. 
Pleased? Probably because David thought it was Michael not Michal, I bet that was a shock on his wadding night.

21 “I will give her to him,” he thought, “so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” So Saul said to David, “Now you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law.”
 22 Then Saul ordered his attendants: “Speak to David privately and say, ‘Look, the king likes you, and his attendants all love you; now become his son-in-law.’”
 23 They repeated these words to David. But David said, “Do you think it is a small matter to become the king’s son-in-law? I’m only a poor man and little known.”
 24 When Saul’s servants told him what David had said,
25 Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.

A hundred Philistine foreskins? Showing his penis obsession again. What is he going to do with them, have them dried and made into chain mail underwear?
 26 When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law.
A gay man sent to handle a hundred penises, what a chore that must have been? So before the allotted time elapsed,  
27 David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins.  
Did he really  kill them for this, or just give a quick chomp at an appropriate moment?

 28 When Saul realized that the LORD was with David and that his daughter Michal loved David,
29 Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days.
 30 The Philistine commanders continued to go out to battle, and as often as they did, David met with more success than the rest of Saul’s officers, and his name became well known.

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