1 Samuel 13

¹Saul reigned one year; and when he had reigned two years over Israel,

²Saul chose him three thousand men of Israel; whereof two thousand were with Saul in Michmash and in mount Bethel, and a thousand were with Jonathan in Gibeah of Benjamin: and the rest of the people he sent every man to his tent.

Surely not all at once.

³And Jonathan smote the garrison of the Philistines that was in Geba, and the Philistines heard of it. And Saul blew the trumpet throughout all the land, saying, Let the Hebrews hear.

No surprise there, it's fairly obvious Saul can blow well.

⁴And all Israel heard say that Saul had smitten a garrison of the Philistines, and that Israel also was had in abomination with the Philistines. And the people were called together after Saul to Gilgal.

⁵And the Philistines gathered themselves together to fight with Israel, thirty thousand chariots, and six thousand horsemen, and people as the sand which is on the sea shore in multitude: and they came up, and pitched in Michmash, eastward from Bethaven.

⁶When the men of Israel saw that they were in a strait, (for the people were distressed,) then the people did hide themselves in caves, and in thickets, and in rocks, and in high places, and in pits.

So the Israelites legendary bravery and heroism shows itself.

⁷And some of the Hebrews went over Jordan to the land of Gad and Gilead. As for Saul, he was yet in Gilgal, and all the people followed him trembling.

⁸And he tarried seven days, according to the set time that Samuel had appointed: but Samuel came not to Gilgal; and the people were scattered from him.

So these invaders are very patient, surely if you were invading you would subdue the locals as quickly as possible, not allow them to organise a rebellion?

⁹And Saul said, Bring hither a burnt offering to me, and peace offerings. And he offered the burnt offering.

So Samuel can be summoned by a burnt offering does that mean he is equal to de lard or is it just coincidence.

¹⁰And it came to pass, that as soon as he had made an end of offering the burnt offering, behold, Samuel came; and Saul went out to meet him, that he might salute him.

With what part of his body?

¹¹And Samuel said, What hast thou done? And Saul said, Because I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that thou camest not within the days appointed, and that the Philistines gathered themselves together at Michmash;

Oh dear they are like an old married couple..."Where the bloody hell have you been? There you are off galavanting around the country turning up a week late when I am trying to clear up this mess you left me with. Not to mention your suppers ruined burnt to a crisp it is."

¹²Therefore said I, The Philistines will come down now upon me to Gilgal, and I have not made supplication unto the LORD: I forced myself therefore, and offered a burnt offering.

¹³And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever.

"Don't blame me it is all your fault"

¹⁴But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee.

"and don't go blaming god neither, it's not his fault if he chose the wrong man for the job. Yes I know he is all knowing but you can't expect him to know everything now can you.

¹⁵And Samuel arose, and gat him up from Gilgal unto Gibeah of Benjamin. And Saul numbered the people that were present with him, about six hundred men.

¹⁶And Saul, and Jonathan his son, and the people that were present with them, abode in Gibeah of Benjamin: but the Philistines encamped in Michmash.

¹⁷And the spoilers came out of the camp of the Philistines in three companies: one company turned unto the way that leadeth to Ophrah, unto the land of Shual:

The amplified bible has raider's

¹⁸And another company turned the way to Bethhoron: and another company turned to the way of the border that looketh to the valley of Zeboim toward the wilderness.

¹⁹Now there was no smith found throughout all the land of Israel: for the Philistines said, Lest the Hebrews make them swords or spears:

²⁰But all the Israelites went down to the Philistines, to sharpen every man his share, and his coulter, and his axe, and his mattock.

²¹Yet they had a file for the mattocks, and for the coulters, and for the forks, and for the axes, and to sharpen the goads.

Amplified has the following for the last verse

²¹And the price for plowshares and mattocks was a pim, and a third of a shekel for axes and for setting goads [with resulting blunt edges on the sickles, mattocks, forks, axes, and goads.]

NLT has this

²¹ (The charges were as follows: a quarter of an ounce of silver^[f] for sharpening a plowshare or a pick, and an eighth of an ounce^[g] for sharpening an ax, a sickle, or an ox goad.)

I cannot believe I am reading this correctly.

The Philistines are apparently invading, thousands of israelites have shat themselves and ran away.

The Israelites have managed to round up six hundred men willing to fight, but have no weapons, save a few assorted, but blunt farming implements. These are then taken to the Philistines to be sharpened and they pay for them to do this. The Philistines actually do this.

This does not come across as the actions of an invading army more like a band of traveling artisans.

²²So it came to pass in the day of battle, that there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people that were with Saul and Jonathan: but with Saul and with Jonathan his son was there found.

Six hundred farmers bravely sending an army (from verse 5)"And the Philistines gathered themselves together to fight with Israel, thirty thousand chariots, and six thousand horsemen, and people as the sand which is on the sea shore in multitude" running with their tails between thier legs

Or six hundred bloodthirsty bastards attacking an unsuspecting gypsy caravan tryng to earn an honest living?

²³And the garrison of the Philistines went out to the passage of Michmash.