1 Samuel 12

¹And Samuel said unto all Israel, Behold, I have hearkened unto your voice in all that ye said unto me, and have made a king over you.

²And now, behold, the king walketh before you: and I am old and grayheaded; and, behold, my sons are with you: and I have walked before you from my childhood unto this day.

³Behold, here I am: witness against me before the LORD, and before his anointed: whose ox have I taken? or whose ass have I taken? or whom have I defrauded? whom have I oppressed? or of whose hand have I received any bribe to blind mine eyes therewith? and I will restore it you.

^{We are all agreed whose ass was taken.}

⁴And they said, Thou hast not defrauded us, nor oppressed us, neither hast thou taken ought of any man's hand.

⁵And he said unto them, The LORD is witness against you, and his anointed is witness this day, that ye have not found ought in my hand. And they answered, He is witness.

⁶And Samuel said unto the people, It is the LORD that advanced Moses and Aaron, and that brought your fathers up out of the land of Egypt.

⁷Now therefore stand still, that I may reason with you before the LORD of all the righteous acts of the LORD, which he did to you and to your fathers.

I have mentioned on occasion how words over time can change their meanings. "Awful" at one time meant just that.. "Full of Awe."

Was there ever a time that "Righteous" meant "Total and utter Cunt" ?

⁸When Jacob was come into Egypt, and your fathers cried unto the LORD, then the LORD sent Moses and Aaron, which brought forth your fathers out of Egypt, and made them dwell in this place.

You remember Jacob he liked "nocturnal wrestling matches" with messengers from de lard.

⁹And when they forgat the LORD their God, he sold them into the hand of Sisera, captain of the host of Hazor, and into the hand of the Philistines, and into the hand of the king of Moab, and they fought against them.

As previous observations of mine have pointed out, the Israelites were so impressed with the power of de lard that they managed to forget all about it in a few months. I have seen musicians that have had a bigger and more lasting impression on me

¹⁰And they cried unto the LORD, and said, We have sinned, because we have forsaken the LORD, and have served Baalim and Ashtaroth: but now deliver us out of the hand of our enemies, and we will serve thee.

¹¹And the LORD sent Jerubbaal, and Bedan, and Jephthah, and Samuel, and delivered you out of the hand of your enemies on every side, and ye dwelled safe.

Nothing whatever to do with the Ammonites stupidly, offering a merciful compromise, than total destruction. Giving the Israelites time to organise a counter attack.

¹²And when ye saw that Nahash the king of the children of Ammon came against you, ye said unto me, Nay; but a king shall reign over us: when the LORD your God was your king.

¹³Now therefore behold the king whom ye have chosen, and whom ye have desired! and, behold, the LORD hath set a king over you.

And Sam over him, no doubt.

¹⁴If ye will fear the LORD, and serve him, and obey his voice, and not rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then shall both ye and also the king that reigneth over you continue following the LORD your God:

¹⁵But if ye will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then shall the hand of the LORD be against you, as it was against your fathers.

Not obey the voice of de lard? How

¹⁶Now therefore stand and see this great thing, which the LORD will do before your eyes.

Great thing? Bet it involves some destruction, a bit of malicious chicanery either by aimple tricks or something natural that any idiot could see was coming.

¹⁷Is it not wheat harvest to day? I will call unto the LORD, and he shall send thunder and rain; that ye may perceive and see that your wickedness is great, which ye have done in the sight of the LORD, in asking you a king.

I wonder which method of divination he used, pine cones or looking up and seeing black clouds heading his way?

¹⁸So Samuel called unto the LORD; and the LORD sent thunder and rain that day: and all the people greatly feared the LORD and Samuel.

In England we have miracles like these all the time, we call it weather.

¹⁹And all the people said unto Samuel, Pray for thy servants unto the LORD thy God, that we die not: for we have added unto all our sins this evil, to ask us a king.

²⁰And Samuel said unto the people, Fear not: ye have done all this wickedness: yet turn not aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart;

Yes they committed the great sin of a democratic decision.

They demanded a King so Sam gave them a King. A king he could manipulate, in more ways than one.

²¹And turn ye not aside: for then should ye go after vain things, which cannot profit nor deliver; for they are vain.

²²For the LORD will not forsake his people for his great name's sake: because it hath pleased the LORD to make you his people.

Till next time he forgets about his chosen ones of course.

²³Moreover as for me, God forbid that I should sin against the LORD in ceasing to pray for you: but I will teach you the good and the right way:

²⁴Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you.

Like killing 50,000 of them as soon as they got the ark back.

²⁵But if ye shall still do wickedly, ye shall be consumed, both ye and your king.