1 Samuel 9

¹Now there was a man of Benjamin, whose name was Kish, the son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Bechorath, the son of Aphiah, a Benjamite, a mighty man of power.

²And he had a son, whose name was Saul, a choice young man, and a goodly: and there was not among the children of Israel a goodlier person than he: from his shoulders and upward he was higher than any of the people.

If someone said to me "He is a choice young man, he is very goodly" I would assume they were saying "He is gay"

³And the asses of Kish Saul's father were lost. And Kish said to Saul his son, Take now one of the servants with thee, and arise, go seek the asses.

There is another phrase that may have developed into a different meaning over time. But why is a "powerful"man sending his son out to find these asses he did not have the power to stop from either wandering or being stolen?

⁴And he passed through mount Ephraim, and passed through the land of Shalisha, but they found them not: then they passed through the land of Shalim, and there they were not: and he passed through the land of the Benjamites, but they found them not.

⁵And when they were come to the land of Zuph, Saul said to his servant that was with him, Come, and let us return; lest my father leave caring for the asses, and take thought for us.

⁶And he said unto him, Behold now, there is in this city a man of God, and he is an honourable man; all that he saith cometh surely to pass: now let us go thither; peradventure he can shew us our way that we should go.

⁷Then said Saul to his servant, But, behold, if we go, what shall we bring the man? for the bread is spent in our vessels, and there is not a present to bring to the man of God: what have we?

So the servant suggests that Sam can tell where these asses are, and then mentions he must be paid for doing the work of de lard. Perhaps goodly does not mean gay but means stupid.

⁸And the servant answered Saul again, and said, Behold, I have here at hand the fourth part of a shekel of silver: that will I give to the man of God, to tell us our way.

Again, the servant has money but the son of a "man of power" just has half shares in some stale bread. I smell some thing fishy here, someone, somewhere, is conning someone.

⁹(Beforetime in Israel, when a man went to enquire of God, thus he spake, Come, and let us go to the seer: for he that is now called a Prophet was beforetime called a Seer.)

¹⁰Then said Saul to his servant, Well said; come, let us go. So they went unto the city where the man of God was.

¹¹And as they went up the hill to the city, they found young maidens going out to draw water, and said unto them, Is the seer here?

¹²And they answered them, and said, He is; behold, he is before you: make haste now, for he came to day to the city; for there is a sacrifice of the people to day in the high place:

¹³As soon as ye be come into the city, ye shall straightway find him, before he go up to the high place to eat: for the people will not eat until he come, because he doth bless the sacrifice; and afterwards they eat that be bidden. Now therefore get you up; for about this time ye shall find him.

¹⁴And they went up into the city: and when they were come into the city, behold, Samuel came out against them, for to go up to the high place.

¹⁵Now the LORD had told Samuel in his ear a day before Saul came, saying,

¹⁶To morrow about this time I will send thee a man out of the land of Benjamin, and thou shalt anoint him to be captain over my people Israel, that he may save my people out of the hand of the Philistines: for I have looked upon my people, because their cry is come unto me.

Another example of the power of prophecy written down after the fact. As I have already asked "Why did de lard with all his infinite power and wisdom, not harm the philistines(apart from being a major pain in the arse) when they had the ark of the covenant in their possession.

You remember the ark, the symbol that de lard was never going to be a bastard to his chosen people again. That he got Moses to make with him, after he had broken the same covenant he made with Abraham

The golden object that requires special handling or it will cause the death of all that touch it.

The artifact that fell into philistine hands and was retained for seven months killing not one philistine, but did manage to make a statuette of Moloch fall over.

The same box that almost immediately killed 50,000 Israelites on its return to its rightful place.

What was that again about that covenant

¹⁷And when Samuel saw Saul, the LORD said unto him, Behold the man whom I spake to thee of! this same shall reign over my people.

¹⁸Then Saul drew near to Samuel in the gate, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, where the seer's house is.

¹⁹And Samuel answered Saul, and said, I am the seer: go up before me unto the high place; for ye shall eat with me to day, and to morrow I will let thee go, and will tell thee all that is in thine heart.

My my, Sam is a fast worker. First dinner, then you are spending the night with me.

²⁰And as for thine asses that were lost three days ago, set not thy mind on them; for they are found. And on whom is all the desire of Israel? Is it not on thee, and on all thy father's house?

So the asses are back home and the neo king of Israel says Israel desires Saul. Perhaps leviticus 18:22 had not yet been written.

²¹And Saul answered and said, Am not I a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel? and my family the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin? wherefore then speakest thou so to me?

²²And Samuel took Saul and his servant, and brought them into the parlour, and made them sit in the chiefest place among them that were bidden, which were about thirty persons.

The cheifiest place? This has got to be the campest chapter yet in all the books Iced so far.

²³And Samuel said unto the cook, Bring the portion which I gave thee, of which I said unto thee, Set it by thee.

²⁴And the cook took up the shoulder, and that which was upon it, and set it before Saul. And Samuel said, Behold that which is left! set it before thee, and eat: for unto this time hath it been kept for thee since I said, I have invited the people. So Saul did eat with Samuel that day.

Eat his Portion ?

²⁵And when they were come down from the high place into the city, Samuel communed with Saul upon the top of the house.

²⁶And they arose early: and it came to pass about the spring of the day, that Samuel called Saul to the top of the house, saying, Up, that I may send thee away. And Saul arose, and they went out both of them, he and Samuel, abroad.

²⁷And as they were going down to the end of the city, Samuel said to Saul, Bid the servant pass on before us, (and he passed on), but stand thou still a while, that I may shew thee the word of God.

What was all this about de lard not liking gay sex?