The next book is Ruth, but before I begin let me tell you a personal story.
A month or so before I started this endeavour, I walked into a pub to meet up with some friends the afternoon after a good party. (our parties often go on for days, so after is not completely true but during implies I was innebriated not that driving was an option but I class this as soberish) To say I was hungover would be like saying de lard can be a little touchy. My head felt like Cozy Powell, John Bonham and Keith Moon had taken up residence and were trying do drum louder than each other. My mouth tasted like I had spent half the previous evening kissing the wrong end of a diseased donkey. After getting a beer I sat with a couple of friends that were already there, they were accompanied by a man and his son, neither of which I knew.
The man was introduced to me as "Zeus", a man, I had heard of but never actually met before or to date since. I found out later his name is actually Jesus (pronounced Hey Zeus).
I had been warned about him as he is a"practising christian" and likes to steer any and all conversations around to........Well where you would expect him to. I also know he had been warned about me.
So I managed to fight my way down my first couple of pints and was on my third before I took much of an interest of anything other than my own personal discomfort. But as soon as I did I heard the phrase......"but it says in the Bible...."
My head, although still in mourning for the thousands of brain cells I had decimated the previous night, attempted to focus. Well maybe focus is a bit of an exaggeration, I was still not firing on all cylinders,but nevertheless I suddenly was more aware of the conversation, or to be honest, that there was a conversation.
Jesus, noticing I had begun to pay attention ignored the glazed eyes of the others and spoke directly to me. I can't remember his exact words but something like I can always find the answers in the bible......
My reply "I see the bible as
Bullshit
Incorporating
Bigotry
Lies and
Exaggerations."
His reply was a little bit more honest than I had expected..."yes there is a little of that but there is much love and bridge building in it too".
"Where? Name one" I asked
"The book of Ruth" was his immediate answer.
Unfortunately for me It had been over twenty five years since I had last read any of the misnomered "good book" and Ruth not one I had spent much time on so I was unable to give him a proper comeback and vowed to read it when I got home, he and his son left shortly afterwards.
A few days later when the party finally dispersed untill the next I returned home where I sat and read.
I then re read it trying to see his point
and again
and yet again
So I figured perhaps I need to re establish my mind with the mind set of the authors I will start at the beginning.
Before I finished the first page I was laughing.
When I finished genesis I started The Anal Iced Bible
So
Thank you Jesus for the inspiration and thankyou to my readers who gave me support in the early days
especially, in no particular order
Vamp
Poodles
Uzza
Buffy and
Andy Armitage
Friday, 3 September 2010
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4 comments:
Thanks for the name check, BB. Interesting piece. Love the "Hey Zeus". It's worthy of a sitcom.
Sadly whatever decency the book of Ruth might have to offer (I'd have to re-read it to refresh my memory) has been corrupted by the fundaloons and their "Ruth Institute", which is dedicated to keeping women and gay people firmly under the boot-heels of heterosexual men.
Andy most of my life could be a sitcom and Buffy thanks for the heads up on the RI
In fact staying on the subject of the RI and similar organisations.
Why do women sign up and go for this Stepford wives 'R'us shit, surely being subjugated to a man, however benevolent he may be is restrictive on your whole being.
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