Friday, 2 October 2009

Judges 2

1And an angel of the LORD came up from Gilgal to Bochim, and said, I made you to go up out of Egypt, and have brought you unto the land which I sware unto your fathers; and I said, I will never break my covenant with you.

What ? Is senility compulsory when reading scripture ? Was it not mentioned only in the last chapter that the all powerful, almighty was UNABLE to drive out the inabitants of the valley.....for no other reason than they had chariots of iron.

You would have thought that for the creator of the universe, lord of all, the one that was master of the ten plagues of Egypt would be able to manage a little rust or even the odd wheel falling off. No ! de lard flaunts his impotence and ineffectualness in front of the world.

2And ye shall make no league with the inhabitants of this land; ye shall throw down their altars: but ye have not obeyed my voice: why have ye done this?

Mislaid his omniscience glasses again ?

3Wherefore I also said, I will not drive them out from before you; but they shall be as thorns in your sides, and their gods shall be a snare unto you.

4And it came to pass, when the angel of the LORD spake these words unto all the children of Israel, that the people lifted up their voice, and wept.

5And they called the name of that place Bochim: and they sacrificed there unto the LORD.

6And when Joshua had let the people go, the children of Israel went every man unto his inheritance to possess the land.

7And the people served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders that outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great works of the LORD, that he did for Israel.

8And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died, being an hundred and ten years old.

9And they buried him in the border of his inheritance in Timnathheres, in the mount of Ephraim, on the north side of the hill Gaash.

10And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the LORD, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel.

11And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and served Baalim:

Baalim = plural of Baal
Baal only means Lord so you could say Cricket is played at Baalim

12And they forsook the LORD God of their fathers, which brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods, of the gods of the people that were round about them, and bowed themselves unto them, and provoked the LORD to anger.

13And they forsook the LORD, and served Baal and Ashtaroth.

Or as YHWH calls us Father and Mother. Unfortunately the little bastard was proof goddesses can get pregnant from anal sex, well not excactly it's just my sperm was so potent it animated a turd.

14And the anger of the LORD was hot against Israel, and he delivered them into the hands of spoilers that spoiled them, and he sold them into the hands of their enemies round about, so that they could not any longer stand before their enemies.

Again I ask why does this jumped up prick of a god hold his subjects to higher ideals than he can maintain himself ?

15Whithersoever they went out, the hand of the LORD was against them for evil, as the LORD had said, and as the LORD had sworn unto them: and they were greatly distressed.

Or is it as I suspect he fails to deliver his end of the bargin and blames his subjects for getting killed and shit ?

16Nevertheless the LORD raised up judges, which delivered them out of the hand of those that spoiled them.

17And yet they would not hearken unto their judges, but they went a whoring after other gods, and bowed themselves unto them: they turned quickly out of the way which their fathers walked in, obeying the commandments of the LORD; but they did not so.

18And when the LORD raised them up judges, then the LORD was with the judge, and delivered them out of the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge: for it repented the LORD because of their groanings by reason of them that oppressed them and vexed them.

19And it came to pass, when the judge was dead, that they returned, and corrupted themselves more than their fathers, in following other gods to serve them, and to bow down unto them; they ceased not from their own doings, nor from their stubborn way.

20And the anger of the LORD was hot against Israel; and he said, Because that this people hath transgressed my covenant which I commanded their fathers, and have not hearkened unto my voice;

21I also will not henceforth drive out any from before them of the nations which Joshua left when he died:

Won't or Can't ?

22That through them I may prove Israel, whether they will keep the way of the LORD to walk therein, as their fathers did keep it, or not.

23Therefore the LORD left those nations, without driving them out hastily; neither delivered he them into the hand of Joshua.

Did not the first verse have an angel with a message from de lard a message containing the words "
I will never break my covenant with you. " Do the words "-lying Cunt-" mean anything ?