Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Joshua 5

1And it came to pass, when all the kings of the Amorites, which were on the side of Jordan westward, and all the kings of the Canaanites, which were by the sea, heard that the LORD had dried up the waters of Jordan from before the children of Israel, until we were passed over, that their heart melted, neither was there spirit in them any more, because of the children of Israel.
So knowing this working on thier despair he attacks.........No he takes a few days off to...................mutilate his mens members.
2At that time the LORD said unto Joshua, Make thee sharp knives, and circumcise again the children of Israel the second time.

How the fuck do you do a second circumcision ?

3And Joshua made him sharp knives, and circumcised the children of Israel at the hill of the foreskins.

The hill of the foreskins......That may I say, is a lot of cock

4And this is the cause why Joshua did circumcise: All the people that came out of Egypt, that were males, even all the men of war, died in the wilderness by the way, after they came out of Egypt.

It's amazing isn't it , de lard has apparently been harping on at his "followers since he changed Abram's name to Abraham to be circumcised. Yet we are told de lard knows all that was, is, and can ever be, and yet his supposed creation needs what amounts to fettling. Why? Does de lard not like the taste of smegma ? Perhaps he should have incuded "thou shalt wash thy dangly bits daily" In the commandments.

5Now all the people that came out were circumcised: but all the people that were born in the wilderness by the way as they came forth out of Egypt, them they had not circumcised.

6For the children of Israel walked forty years in the wilderness, till all the people that were men of war, which came out of Egypt, were consumed, because they obeyed not the voice of the LORD: unto whom the LORD sware that he would not shew them the land, which the LORD sware unto their fathers that he would give us, a land that floweth with milk and honey.

I thought we were assured at the end of Deuteronomy that Moses relinquished his command to Joshua on his death bed, dying in the "best of health". An issue I raised an eyebrow with, at the time Reading through this chapter, I find myself questioning this seamless transition of leaders, and wondering whether or not Moses was as described in the years leading up to his death. In fact wondering whether he had in fact died some years before Josh took the "throne".

7And their children, whom he raised up in their stead, them Joshua circumcised: for they were uncircumcised, because they had not circumcised them by the way.

Were we not told that this is an army ? Women, and males exempt through age or status were not with them. Did Moses not make sure his de lards laws were followed ?
8And it came to pass, when they had done circumcising all the people, that they abode in their places in the camp, till they were whole.
9And the LORD said unto Joshua, This day have I rolled away the reproach of Egypt from off you. Wherefore the name of the place is called Gilgal unto this day.
10And the children of Israel encamped in Gilgal, and kept the passover on the fourteenth day of the month at even in the plains of Jericho.
11And they did eat of the old corn of the land on the morrow after the passover, unleavened cakes, and parched corn in the selfsame day.
12And the manna ceased on the morrow after they had eaten of the old corn of the land; neither had the children of Israel manna any more; but they did eat of the fruit of the land of Canaan that year.

Again I find myself questioning the validity of this ! Manna we were told was supplied to the Israelites when they were starving, it is mentioned twice but the second mention is a retelling of the same story. The last few chapters of Dueteronomy tell of the sacking of cities. Why would they be eating manna now ?

13And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted up his eyes and looked, and, behold, there stood a man over against him with his sword drawn in his hand: and Joshua went unto him, and said unto him, Art thou for us, or for our adversaries?

Yet again another reason to question the accepted interpretation. If we have been told the truth where did these "reinforcements" come from another sacked city perhaps ?Or perhaps the twelve men I thought were sent to dam the Jordan were messengers to another force coming to meet them. An army of "stone cutters would have been able to have the same effect.

14And he said, Nay; but as captain of the host of the LORD am I now come. And Joshua fell on his face to the earth, and did worship, and said unto him, What saith my Lord unto his servant?

15And the captain of the LORD's host said unto Joshua, Loose thy shoe from off thy foot; for the place whereon thou standest is holy. And Joshua did so.

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