2And it shall be, if the wicked man be worthy to be beaten, that the judge shall cause him to lie down, and to be beaten before his face, according to his fault, by a certain number.
3Forty stripes he may give him, and not exceed: lest, if he should exceed, and beat him above these with many stripes, then thy brother should seem vile unto thee.
4Thou shalt not muzzle the ox when he treadeth out the corn.
5If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her.
Hey !.....No !
As much as I love my sister in law ....No No No No No.
6And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel.
7And if the man like not to take his brother's wife, then let his brother's wife go up to the gate unto the elders, and say, My husband's brother refuseth to raise up unto his brother a name in Israel, he will not perform the duty of my husband's brother.
8Then the elders of his city shall call him, and speak unto him: and if he stand to it, and say, I like not to take her;
9Then shall his brother's wife come unto him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face, and shall answer and say, So shall it be done unto that man that will not build up his brother's house.
10And his name shall be called in Israel, The house of him that hath his shoe loosed.
So I have loose shoes how can I hold my head up in public ?
11When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:
How could she do that ? If they were fighting clothed surely she would find it difficult to grasp his dangly bits through the layers of robes. Unless of course this was nocturnal nude wrestling as introduced by god or an angel with dear old Jacob.
12Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.
That's fuckin' stupid, how is the bitch going to do her chores ?
13Thou shalt not have in thy bag divers weights, a great and a small.
14Thou shalt not have in thine house divers measures, a great and a small.
15But thou shalt have a perfect and just weight, a perfect and just measure shalt thou have: that thy days may be lengthened in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
16For all that do such things, and all that do unrighteously, are an abomination unto the LORD thy God.
Fair enough ! Nobody wants to be ripped off, but I am continually amazed at some of the thing de lard thinks are an abomination but not so much as some of the things he encourages.
17Remember what Amalek did unto thee by the way, when ye were come forth out of Egypt;
18How he met thee by the way, and smote the hindmost of thee, even all that were feeble behind thee, when thou wast faint and weary; and he feared not God.19Therefore it shall be, when the LORD thy God hath given thee rest from all thine enemies round about, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance to possess it, that thou shalt blot out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven; thou shalt not forget it.
Have you got that kiddies. You must remember to dismiss any memory of Amelek and don't you ever dare to forget it.