1And Balaam said unto Balak, Build me here seven altars, and prepare me here seven oxen and seven rams.
Umm was he not just reprimanded for beating his ass
2And Balak did as Balaam had spoken; and Balak and Balaam offered on every altar a bullock and a ram.
So you are a bad Balaam if you beat your donkey but it's fine to ritually kill fourteen other animals ????? And then burn their flesh and bones so what you have left are piles of ashes.
3And Balaam said unto Balak, Stand by thy burnt offering, and I will go: peradventure the LORD will come to meet me: and whatsoever he sheweth me I will tell thee. And he went to an high place.
4And God met Balaam: and he said unto him, I have prepared seven altars, and I have offered upon every altar a bullock and a ram.
I think Balaams brain injury is worse than we thought !!!Or the god here is just a leader, ranking personage
5And the LORD put a word in Balaam's mouth, and said, Return unto Balak, and thus thou shalt speak.
What word ???? may I suggest penis
6And he returned unto him, and, lo, he stood by his burnt sacrifice, he, and all the princes of Moab.
And proudly stated....all my own work
7And he took up his parable, and said, Balak the king of Moab hath brought me from Aram, out of the mountains of the east, saying, Come, curse me Jacob, and come, defy Israel.
Is that not a way of saying .."he started talking bollocks."
8How shall I curse, whom God hath not cursed? or how shall I defy, whom the LORD hath not defied?
9For from the top of the rocks I see him, and from the hills I behold him: lo, the people shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned among the nations.
10Who can count the dust of Jacob, and the number of the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!
Jacob ? Israel as a person? Have we entered another time warp ?
11And Balak said unto Balaam, What hast thou done unto me? I took thee to curse mine enemies, and, behold, thou hast blessed them altogether.
12And he answered and said, Must I not take heed to speak that which the LORD hath put in my mouth?
13And Balak said unto him, Come, I pray thee, with me unto another place, from whence thou mayest see them: thou shalt see but the utmost part of them, and shalt not see them all: and curse me them from thence.
14And he brought him into the field of Zophim, to the top of Pisgah, and built seven altars, and offered a bullock and a ram on every altar.
15And he said unto Balak, Stand here by thy burnt offering, while I meet the LORD yonder.
16And the LORD met Balaam, and put a word in his mouth, and said, Go again unto Balak, and say thus.
17And when he came to him, behold, he stood by his burnt offering, and the princes of Moab with him. And Balak said unto him, What hath the LORD spoken?
18And he took up his parable, and said, Rise up, Balak, and hear; hearken unto me, thou son of Zippor:
19God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?
20Behold, I have received commandment to bless: and he hath blessed; and I cannot reverse it.
21He hath not beheld iniquity in Jacob, neither hath he seen perverseness in Israel: the LORD his God is with him, and the shout of a king is among them.
So by gods standards you are "faithful" if you are capable of betraying, selling, murdering, rapeing any other human being but especially if you are willing to do it to your own family.
22God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.
First a talking Donkey Now Unicorns, has Balaam wandered through a wardrobe.
23Surely there is no enchantment against Jacob, neither is there any divination against Israel: according to this time it shall be said of Jacob and of Israel, What hath God wrought!
To me they are a right divvy nation.
24Behold, the people shall rise up as a great lion, and lift up himself as a young lion: he shall not lie down until he eat of the prey, and drink the blood of the slain.
Yes, don't know when, but Balaam has entered Narnia.
25And Balak said unto Balaam, Neither curse them at all, nor bless them at all.
26But Balaam answered and said unto Balak, Told not I thee, saying, All that the LORD speaketh, that I must do?
27And Balak said unto Balaam, Come, I pray thee, I will bring thee unto another place; peradventure it will please God that thou mayest curse me them from thence.
28And Balak brought Balaam unto the top of Peor, that looketh toward jeshimon.
29And Balaam said unto Balak, Build me here seven altars, and prepare me here seven bullocks and seven rams.30And Balak did as Balaam had said, and offered a bullock and a ram on every altar.
A bad day for bullocks