1And the children of Israel set forward, and pitched in the plains of Moab on this side Jordan by Jericho.
At risk of repeating myself why ? If they have conquered all theses cities why do they need to carry on conquering if all they want is somewhere to live ?
2And Balak the son of Zippor saw all that Israel had done to the Amorites.
Is not Zipporah Mrs Moses could that mean that Balak might be Moses's nephew ?
3And Moab was sore afraid of the people, because they were many: and Moab was distressed because of the children of Israel.
Moab should be afraid as contrary to the popular presupposition that Moses and his minions are the force of law and a structured society. The laws of mob rule are the only laws apparent here, but it's alright 'cos it's done in the name of de lard.
4And Moab said unto the elders of Midian, Now shall this company lick up all that are round about us, as the ox licketh up the grass of the field. And Balak the son of Zippor was king of the Moabites at that time.
5He sent messengers therefore unto Balaam the son of Beor to Pethor, which is by the river of the land of the children of his people, to call him, saying, Behold, there is a people come out from Egypt: behold, they cover the face of the earth, and they abide over against me:
6Come now therefore, I pray thee, curse me this people; for they are too mighty for me: peradventure I shall prevail, that we may smite them, and that I may drive them out of the land: for I wot that he whom thou blessest is blessed, and he whom thou cursest is cursed.
7And the elders of Moab and the elders of Midian departed with the rewards of divination in their hand; and they came unto Balaam, and spake unto him the words of Balak.
8And he said unto them, Lodge here this night, and I will bring you word again, as the LORD shall speak unto me: and the princes of Moab abode with Balaam.
9And God came unto Balaam, and said, What men are these with thee?
Omniscient as ever !
10And Balaam said unto God, Balak the son of Zippor, king of Moab, hath sent unto me, saying,
11Behold, there is a people come out of Egypt, which covereth the face of the earth: come now, curse me them; peradventure I shall be able to overcome them, and drive them out.
12And God said unto Balaam, Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people: for they are blessed.
13And Balaam rose up in the morning, and said unto the princes of Balak, Get you into your land: for the LORD refuseth to give me leave to go with you.
14And the princes of Moab rose up, and they went unto Balak, and said, Balaam refuseth to come with us.
15And Balak sent yet again princes, more, and more honourable than they.
16And they came to Balaam, and said to him, Thus saith Balak the son of Zippor, Let nothing, I pray thee, hinder thee from coming unto me:
17For I will promote thee unto very great honour, and I will do whatsoever thou sayest unto me: come therefore, I pray thee, curse me this people.
18And Balaam answered and said unto the servants of Balak, If Balak would give me his house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the word of the LORD my God, to do less or more.
19Now therefore, I pray you, tarry ye also here this night, that I may know what the LORD will say unto me more.
20And God came unto Balaam at night, and said unto him, If the men come to call thee, rise up, and go with them; but yet the word which I shall say unto thee, that shalt thou do.
21And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
22And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.
Funny that ! the word adversary in almost any other context in the bible would be translated by it's sound...Shaitan or Satan. But god couldn,t have appointed Satan to do the dirty work as he cast him out of heaven(allegedly) in or before Enoch.
The fact that he's fucked eitherway implies to me however this is obviously just a fairy story, or the messenger was either ugly or smelly enough to startle a donkey.
23And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
24But the angel of the LORD stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side.
I know from personal experience that if you are walking down a dark narrow alley your own shadow can suddenly leap out at you. It may not be butch but when you are young it can give you a bit of a start, the same I imagine is for a donkey.
25And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall: and he smote her again.
26And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.
27And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.
Note the text doesn't mention Balaam seeing the angel.
28And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?
29And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.
30And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.
31Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
32And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:
33And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.
'cos we all know how god likes saving innocents especially the ones that complain about thier masters.
34And Balaam said unto the angel of the LORD, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou stoodest in the way against me: now therefore, if it displease thee, I will get me back again.
35And the angel of the LORD said unto Balaam, Go with the men: but only the word that I shall speak unto thee, that thou shalt speak. So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.
36And when Balak heard that Balaam was come, he went out to meet him unto a city of Moab, which is in the border of Arnon, which is in the utmost coast.
37And Balak said unto Balaam, Did I not earnestly send unto thee to call thee? wherefore camest thou not unto me? am I not able indeed to promote thee to honour?
38And Balaam said unto Balak, Lo, I am come unto thee: have I now any power at all to say any thing? the word that God putteth in my mouth, that shall I speak.
39And Balaam went with Balak, and they came unto Kirjathhuzoth.
40And Balak offered oxen and sheep, and sent to Balaam, and to the princes that were with him.41And it came to pass on the morrow, that Balak took Balaam, and brought him up into the high places of Baal, that thence he might see the utmost part of the people.
So the crux of the matter here is not that god created a miracle and made Balaam's ass talk,but Balaam was a spineless ass that sold out his own mates to save his own ass and made up a bullshit story about his ass to cover his ass so some dumbass would believe him.