Monday, 24 November 2008

Numbers 5

1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

2Command the children of Israel, that they put out of the camp every leper, and every one that hath an issue, and whosoever is defiled by the dead:

So evict, sick cunts, bleedin' cunts and any cunt that's been near a dead dude.

3Both male and female shall ye put out, without the camp shall ye put them; that they defile not their camps, in the midst whereof I dwell.

4And the children of Israel did so, and put them out without the camp: as the LORD spake unto Moses, so did the children of Israel.

5And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

6Speak unto the children of Israel, When a man or woman shall commit any sin that men commit, to do a trespass against the LORD, and that person be guilty;

7Then they shall confess their sin which they have done: and he shall recompense his trespass with the principal thereof, and add unto it the fifth part thereof, and give it unto him against whom he hath trespassed.

8But if the man have no kinsman to recompense the trespass unto, let the trespass be recompensed unto the LORD, even to the priest; beside the ram of the atonement, whereby an atonement shall be made for him.

So here we go again "As long as you or somebody close to you is willing to pay".You can commit any crime. That's a long way from the "rich man/camel/needles eye anolagy we are taught nowadays".

9And every offering of all the holy things of the children of Israel, which they bring unto the priest, shall be his.

Notice that, not gods, but the priests.

10And every man's hallowed things shall be his: whatsoever any man giveth the priest, it shall be his.

11And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

12Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man's wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him,

13And a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and there be no witness against her, neither she be taken with the manner;

So is it OK if he gets to watch/join in ?

Have we got an early wife swapping club here ?

14And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled:

Am I getting this right..It don't matter whether she has been playing away from home or not, but whether or not the hubby is insecure and jealous.

15Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth part of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it is an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance.

16And the priest shall bring her near, and set her before the LORD:

17And the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel; and of the dust that is in the floor of the tabernacle the priest shall take, and put it into the water:

I must question these things...... What is the holy water ?

Why is it holy ?

What does the addition of dust from the floor of the tabernacle expect to achieve ? Apart from the introduction of some bacteria from all the dried animal blood from the doorway that must get trodden through?

18And the priest shall set the woman before the LORD, and uncover the woman's head, and put the offering of memorial in her hands, which is the jealousy offering: and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse:

Bitter water...Implying an acidic quality

19And the priest shall charge her by an oath, and say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee, and if thou hast not gone aside to uncleanness with another instead of thy husband, be thou free from this bitter water that causeth the curse:

20But if thou hast gone aside to another instead of thy husband, and if thou be defiled, and some man have lain with thee beside thine husband:

21Then the priest shall charge the woman with an oath of cursing, and the priest shall say unto the woman, The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell;

22And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen.

I am going out on a limb here...Chalky soil + some form of acid relying on the priest getting the proportions right

Not enough soil= acid = woman dying painful death.

Too much soil much gas produced swollen belly + wind

Correct amount =no effect

23And the priest shall write these curses in a book, and he shall blot them out with the bitter water:

A way of telling how acidic the concoction is perhaps ?

24And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse: and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter.

25Then the priest shall take the jealousy offering out of the woman's hand, and shall wave the offering before the LORD, and offer it upon the altar:

26And the priest shall take an handful of the offering, even the memorial thereof, and burn it upon the altar, and afterward shall cause the woman to drink the water.

27And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people.

28And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed.

29This is the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside to another instead of her husband, and is defiled;

So the moral of the tale is if you are fit and want to go astray do it with your priest.

30Or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the LORD, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law.

31Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity.

On the face of it this initially doesn't read too badly .But if you think a little deeper.......
We have already seen on the whole the women's lot was not a happy one. Marriage had more to do with being sold into sexual slavery than a bond of love. Girls sold off to old men to settle debts or cement family ties.
Taking these facts into consideration I personally doubt many women would think of sexual congress in any way than an uncomfortable but necessary duty of marriage. Now I am not suggesting for one minute extra marital affairs didn't happen, what I am sugesting is rape or just a husbands insecurities may be more common occurances for a woman to be subjected to this ritual.

Not to mention the already banned "witch craft" which so many believe to contain certain elements....including drinking from cups steeped in ritual.


Sator Arepo said...

Goodness gracious. Your shit is funny!

Baal's Bum said...

glad you think so