Monday, 13 October 2008

Leviticus 15



1And the LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying,

2Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When any man hath a running issue out of his flesh, because of his issue he is unclean.

Do they mean semen ?

3And this shall be his uncleanness in his issue: whether his flesh run with his issue, or his flesh be stopped from his issue, it is his uncleanness.

Yes I am sure they are talking of semen

4Every bed, whereon he lieth that hath the issue, is unclean: and every thing, whereon he sitteth, shall be unclean.

Only one way I can think of that would cause semen to come where one sitteth....Funny how when god botherers are quoting from Leviticus at how wrong gay sex is, they never mention this chapter.I suppose it could also cover masturbation and wet dreams.

5And whosoever toucheth his bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

Definately a man on man relationship here.

6And he that sitteth on any thing whereon he sat that hath the issue shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

7And he that toucheth the flesh of him that hath the issue shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

8And if he that hath the issue spit upon him that is clean; then he shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

9And what saddle soever he rideth upon that hath the issue shall be unclean.

10And whosoever toucheth any thing that was under him shall be unclean until the even: and he that beareth any of those things shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

11And whomsoever he toucheth that hath the issue, and hath not rinsed his hands in water, shall he wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

12And the vessel of earth, that he toucheth which hath the issue, shall be broken: and every vessel of wood shall be rinsed in water.

13And when he that hath an issue is cleansed of his issue; then he shall number to himself seven days for his cleansing, and wash his clothes, and bathe his flesh in running water, and shall be clean.

Now if gay sex is so wrong why are all these men having to wash all this issue that has come from other men. Also if you swallow then according to this there is no issue to contaminate, therefore no sin.

14And on the eighth day he shall take to him two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, and come before the LORD unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and give them unto the priest:

15And the priest shall offer them, the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for him before the LORD for his issue.

16And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.

17And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.

How much "seed of copulation is there"...And there was me thinking bukkake was a Japanese thing.

18The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.

Although they go on about man on man sex more (christians still do) the penance is the same for heterosexual "issue" but menstruation is far worse.

19And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

20And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.

21And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

How many men are "visiting" these women ? That's one hell of a wet patch.

22And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

23And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.

24And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.

What...flowers......I think this must mean flows

25And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean.

26Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation.

27And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

28But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean.

So what this means is ....Any bleedin' cunt that touches a bleeding cunt shall be marked as a dirty cunt and the cunt whose cunt is bleeding shall be a dirty cunt for a week. And if the cunt with a bleeding cunt can't not be a dirty cunt and not keep her blood controlled the bleedin' cunts cunt blood must be washed from the dirty cunts clothing.

29And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

Wow! I'll bet women rejoiced when the tampon was invented. Can you imagine the discomfort....oooooohhhhh.

30And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness.

31Thus shall ye separate the children of Israel from their uncleanness; that they die not in their uncleanness, when they defile my tabernacle that is among them.

32This is the law of him that hath an issue, and of him whose seed goeth from him, and is defiled therewith;

33And of her that is sick of her flowers, and of him that hath an issue, of the man, and of the woman, and of him that lieth with her that is unclean.

2 comments:

watercat said...

Whoa! i just stumbled over this bog and its funnier'n hell! Also, insightful:
I'm bookmarkin it.

Baal's Bum said...

hanks!
Glad to have you aboard.

 
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