Monday, 7 July 2008

Exodus 19

Exodus 19

1In the third month, when the children of Israel were gone forth out of the land of Egypt, the same day came they into the wilderness of Sinai.

2For they were departed from Rephidim, and were come to the desert of Sinai, and had pitched in the wilderness; and there Israel camped before the mount.

Makes sense after all their water troubles, where else would they possibly go but the desert ?

3And Moses went up unto God, and the LORD called unto him out of the mountain, saying, Thus shalt thou say to the house of Jacob, and tell the children of Israel;

4Ye have seen what I did unto the Egyptians, and how I bare you on eagles' wings, and brought you unto myself.

In egyptian records there is no mention of a slave race suddenly taking advantage of natural disasters to escape.Let alone being bourne away on eagles wings. While we are on the subject of local records please note the titles Israelites and Hebrew strangely absent . Some have suggested the people known as the Habiru are the Hebrews this however likely, still remains unproven.

Perhaps Biblical scholars and Egyptologists should be looking for a tribe called wherethefuckarewe or couldn'tfindourwayoutofapapyrusbag or even lostinaculdesac.

5Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine:

6And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel.

Not content with petty lawgivers he is now setting up a parasitical hierarchy I'll bet they never had it so good

7And Moses came and called for the elders of the people, and laid before their faces all these words which the LORD commanded him.

8And all the people answered together, and said, All that the LORD hath spoken we will do. And Moses returned the words of the people unto the LORD.

9And the LORD said unto Moses, Lo, I come unto thee in a thick cloud, that the people may hear when I speak with thee, and believe thee for ever. And Moses told the words of the people unto the LORD.

Dunno why, but I just get the impression Jethro is lurking around somewhere. Sort of conspicuous by his absence.

10And the LORD said unto Moses, Go unto the people, and sanctify them to day and to morrow, and let them wash their clothes,

Washing their clothes in a desert, obviously the same mentality that makes sacrifices when people are hungry.

11And be ready against the third day: for the third day the LORD will come down in the sight of all the people upon mount Sinai.

This'll be good

12And thou shalt set bounds unto the people round about, saying, Take heed to yourselves, that ye go not up into the mount, or touch the border of it: whosoever toucheth the mount shall be surely put to death:

In other words don't get close enough to see the con.

Which also makes me wonder, Would the smell from whatever detergent they use for washing clothes help mask the smell from whatever they were burning to make the smoke/fire.

13There shall not an hand touch it, but he shall surely be stoned, or shot through; whether it be beast or man, it shall not live: when the trumpet soundeth long, they shall come up to the mount.

14And Moses went down from the mount unto the people, and sanctified the people; and they washed their clothes.

15And he said unto the people, Be ready against the third day: come not at your wives.

16And it came to pass on the third day in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding loud; so that all the people that was in the camp trembled.

Thick cloud (smoke)

Thunder (rattling and banging of drums)

Lightning (vigorously burning oils)

Typical tricks of a priest's show


17And Moses brought forth the people out of the camp to meet with God; and they stood at the nether part of the mount.

18And mount Sinai was altogether on a smoke, because the LORD descended upon it in fire: and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly.

19And when the voice of the trumpet sounded long, and waxed louder and louder, Moses spake, and God answered him by a voice.

20And the LORD came down upon mount Sinai, on the top of the mount: and the LORD called Moses up to the top of the mount; and Moses went up.

21And the LORD said unto Moses, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the LORD to gaze, and many of them perish.

22And let the priests also, which come near to the LORD, sanctify themselves, lest the LORD break forth upon them.

No can't come up here In case Jethro farts and gives the game away.

23And Moses said unto the LORD, The people cannot come up to mount Sinai: for thou chargedst us, saying, Set bounds about the mount, and sanctify it.

24And the LORD said unto him, Away, get thee down, and thou shalt come up, thou, and Aaron with thee: but let not the priests and the people break through to come up unto the LORD, lest he break forth upon them.

25So Moses went down unto the people, and spake unto them.


Andy Armitage said...

This is great exegesis. Far more entertaining than some dry old theologian, who would probably take all this bullshit in, anyway (the Bible, I mean). What gets me is that people actually believe it. OK, some things will no doubt be true, others mistaken, yet others fabricated for political expediency and survival's sake, and yet the literalists don't see it. And yet some of these literalists are articulate people. I just can't bring together these two qualities in a person. Dual personality? Can't wait till you get to the Ten Commandments - or have we passed that bit?

Baal's Bum said...

Thanks again Andy
Maybe I am just warped but you are getting my honest thoughts as I am reading it.I had started the exodus with the Idea that dear old Ankhenaten or somebody very close to him was was Moses but the sideways studying I am doing convinced me otherwise. The burning bush incident suggested someone ws manipulating Moses but I couldn't see who, the Jethro conclusion just fell into place.
You are right about articulate and often well read and intelligent people believing this (the bible),why they chose to stick their head in the sands and then deny contradictory evidence is beyond me.Perhaps it's just an immature ego, one that needs a surrogate father figure or just a refusal to accept that at the end of life is just death, could anyone answer that one ?
And No! I haven't reached the ten commandments yet, soon very soon.