Sunday, 6 July 2008

Exodus 17

Exodus 17

1And all the congregation of the children of Israel journeyed from the wilderness of Sin, after their journeys, according to the commandment of the LORD, and pitched in Rephidim: and there was no water for the people to drink.

Perhaps if they weren't following a half -wit and had prepared properly for their journey by

a. packing resources for the journey

b.going the direct route

They would not

a. starved (as in the previous chapter)

b. been without enough water.

2Wherefore the people did chide with Moses, and said, Give us water that we may drink. And Moses said unto them, Why chide ye with me? wherefore do ye tempt the LORD?

We already know the only thing you can tempt de lawd is with some muscular male buttocks and the promise of an all night "wrestle".

3And the people thirsted there for water; and the people murmured against Moses, and said, Wherefore is this that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our cattle with thirst?

I can't help but notice in all the murmuring's there is no thanks for rescuing them from slavery. Perhaps their lives were not as miserable as suggested, but, as a descendant of Abraham, Moses was lazy and power hungry. The thought of any work was an abomination to him.

4And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, What shall I do unto this people? they be almost ready to stone me.

C'mon baby let's get stoned

5And the LORD said unto Moses, Go on before the people, and take with thee of the elders of Israel; and thy rod, wherewith thou smotest the river, take in thine hand, and go.

God's advice don't get stoned reach for your magic wand !

6Behold, I will stand before thee there upon the rock in Horeb; and thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drink. And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel.

No doubt carefully chosen by the whiteness of their cateracts

7And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the LORD, saying, Is the LORD among us, or not? 8Then came Amalek, and fought with Israel in Rephidim.

I realise no where does it say this But is it probable that Moses broke a stone pipeline and Amelek was protecting the water supplies of his people. As Moses had just broken into and stolen water that may have been given or at least sold if he had the decency to ask.

9And Moses said unto Joshua, Choose us out men, and go out, fight with Amalek: to morrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in mine hand.

These gay sex references have crept back in

10So Joshua did as Moses had said to him, and fought with Amalek: and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill.

11And it came to pass, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed.

So god needs Moses to raise his hand to beat the men of Amelek ?

12But Moses hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.

So god couldn't manage to give Moses the strength to hold his own hand's aloft. Or perhaps Moses need to keep his hands up to remind god what he was supposed to be doing,we know how forgetful he is.

Or perhaps Moses was just trying to surrender ?

13And Joshua discomfited Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.

14And the LORD said unto Moses, Write this for a memorial in a book, and rehearse it in the ears of Joshua: for I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven.

What ?

De lawd said write this down as I want everyone to forget it........

He really has no understanding of the human race has he ?

15And Moses built an altar, and called the name of it Jehovahnissi:

Which should mean

JHVH is a dick !

16For he said, Because the LORD hath sworn that the LORD will have war with Amalek from generation to generation.

Just to prove what a petty prick he is and that he expects us to live to higher moral standards than he is capable of.

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