Friday, 20 June 2008

Exodus 14

1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
2Speak unto the children of Israel, that they turn and encamp before Pihahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, over against Baalzephon: before it shall ye encamp by the sea.

Following the glow and smoke from Thera they could not arrive anywhere else. Or maybe they just wanted to build sandcastles and have a paddle

3For Pharaoh will say of the children of Israel, They are entangled in the land, the wilderness hath shut them in.
4And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, that he shall follow after them; and I will be honoured upon Pharaoh, and upon all his host; that the Egyptians may know that I am the LORD. And they did so.

Here he goes with the heart hardening again. Is he really this insecure that he has to boost his ego by torturing his chosen ?

5And it was told the king of Egypt that the people fled: and the heart of Pharaoh and of his servants was turned against the people, and they said, Why have we done this, that we have let Israel go from serving us?

Have they forgotten the plagues already ? Or is it likely that some time had passed since those events.

6And he made ready his chariot, and took his people with him:
7And he took six hundred chosen chariots, and all the chariots of Egypt, and captains over every one of them.

Six hundred chariots to turn back and capture six hundred thousand men plus flocks and herds, also fuck knows how many boys, not to mention the unmentioned women and girls, we could conceivably be talking with polygamy the norm, easily anything up to two or three million people possibly many more, or maybe, just maybe, someone, somewhere has exaggerated a little bit.

8And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh king of Egypt, and he pursued after the children of Israel: and the children of Israel went out with an high hand.
9But the Egyptians pursued after them, all the horses and chariots of Pharaoh, and his horsemen, and his army, and overtook them encamping by the sea, beside Pihahiroth, before Baalzephon.

Really millions of people setting up camp whilst running away don't make much sense especially as they would be travelling at walking speed and their pursuers are on chariots.Also if moses WAS the great leader we are told then surely he would have no difficulty organizing men of fighting age say 30 to 40,000 to set about six hundred egyptians.

10And when Pharaoh drew nigh, the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and, behold, the Egyptians marched after them; and they were sore afraid: and the children of Israel cried out unto the LORD.

I can't speak for the bigger american festivals, but the English festivals especially events such as the Outlaws Rock and Blues Custom bike show and the Hells Angels Bulldog Bash have proportionately a similar number of law enforcement personel.
e.g. around six policemen to 20,000 punters. Not enough to seem the least bit intimidating. If and I do mean IF the figures given for the number of isrealites and egyptians were correct then if anyone was sore afraid it would be the egyptians.

11And they said unto Moses, Because there were no graves in Egypt, hast thou taken us away to die in the wilderness? wherefore hast thou dealt thus with us, to carry us forth out of Egypt?

No graves in egypt ? There was me thinking graves is thier main tourist attraction.

12Is not this the word that we did tell thee in Egypt, saying, Let us alone, that we may serve the Egyptians? For it had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness.

So the Isrealites didn't want to go.....

13And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.
14The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

That's gotta be a first

15And the LORD said unto Moses, Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward:
16But lift thou up thy rod, and stretch out thine hand over the sea, and divide it: and the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea.
17And I, behold, I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them: and I will get me honour upon Pharaoh, and upon all his host, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen.
18And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten me honour upon Pharaoh, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen.

I mean what else could an omnipotent god do to convince an unbelieving populace ? Aside from just dropping by and saying "hello chaps you don't know me but......."

19And the angel of God, which went before the camp of Israel, removed and went behind them; and the pillar of the cloud went from before their face, and stood behind them:
20And it came between the camp of the Egyptians and the camp of Israel; and it was a cloud and darkness to them, but it gave light by night to these: so that the one came not near the other all the night.
21And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided.
22And the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea upon the dry ground: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left.
23And the Egyptians pursued, and went in after them to the midst of the sea, even all Pharaoh's horses, his chariots, and his horsemen.
24And it came to pass, that in the morning watch the LORD looked unto the host of the Egyptians through the pillar of fire and of the cloud, and troubled the host of the Egyptians,
25And took off their chariot wheels, that they drave them heavily: so that the Egyptians said, Let us flee from the face of Israel; for the LORD fighteth for them against the Egyptians.
26And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the sea, that the waters may come again upon the Egyptians, upon their chariots, and upon their horsemen.
27And Moses stretched forth his hand over the sea, and the sea returned to his strength when the morning appeared; and the Egyptians fled against it; and the LORD overthrew the Egyptians in the midst of the sea.

Because with unlimited power and knowledge god decided yet again.....

... to be a total cunt

28And the waters returned, and covered the chariots, and the horsemen, and all the host of Pharaoh that came into the sea after them; there remained not so much as one of them.
29But the children of Israel walked upon dry land in the midst of the sea; and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left.
30Thus the LORD saved Israel that day out of the hand of the Egyptians; and Israel saw the Egyptians dead upon the sea shore.
31And Israel saw that great work which the LORD did upon the Egyptians: and the people feared the LORD, and believed the LORD, and his servant Moses.

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