Monday, 3 March 2008

Genesis 20

Genesis 20

1And Abraham journeyed from thence toward the south country, and dwelled between Kadesh and Shur, and sojourned in Gerar.
On the move again ?
2And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.
C'mon people the same old scam as they used in Egypt all those years ago. Isee now why god didn't create optometrists back when Adam was a lad but had old Abimelech got no sense of smell ? Sarah must have hummed more than a pension queue in july. She's over 90 now any evil bunnies have long since turned to dust bunnies. Look granny sex is not something anyone needs to know about, it may not be wrong but please keep it out of my head, I don't want to know. OK. Jeez have you seen Kingpin.... yuch!
3But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man's wife. 4But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, LORD, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?
I am sooo pleased.
5Said he not unto me, She is my sister? and she, even she herself said, He is my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this. God has got to admit they probably had more wrinkles than a camels scrotum 6And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.
I'll bet Abimelech was thinking you believe what you want theres no way I was going anywhere near her man she wuz ugly.
7Now therefore restore the man his wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine. 8Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid. 9Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done. 10And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing? 11And Abraham said, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife's sake.
Nah! He said Fuck man she might be my wife but I've had to sleep with it for over 80 years all I wanted was for a change to wake in a sweet smelling bed .
12And yet indeed she is my sister; she is the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife.
It get's worse fuck it's right they haven't bred.
13And it came to pass, when God caused me to wander from my father's house, that I said unto her, This is thy kindness which thou shalt shew unto me; at every place whither we shall come, say of me, He is my brother.
14And Abimelech took sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and womenservants, and gave them unto Abraham, and restored him Sarah his wife.
Scam worked then!
15And Abimelech said, Behold, my land is before thee: dwell where it pleaseth thee.
16And unto Sarah he said, Behold, I have given thy brother a thousand pieces of silver: behold, he is to thee a covering of the eyes, unto all that are with thee, and with all other: thus she was reproved.
What ?He's given her a bag to put over her head for future victims.
17So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children.
18For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.
So still no sign whatsoever of this so called omniscience. When does that happen?

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