Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Genesis 17


Genesis 17

1And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect.

Gods still not got the idea of omniprescience yet has he ?

2And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly.

3And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying,

Uneven ground plus 99 year old man = Old man flat on his face. I could see it coming why couldn't god ?

4As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations.

5Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee.

6And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee.

Is it just me but surely poor old Abram could have done with this when he was a tad younger ? About 80 years younger

7And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.

Ah! Now I see he waited till Abram was good and senile so he would just do as he was told and forget about it afterwards. Is "Abraham ancient Hebrew" for Alzheimers by any chance.

8And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.

Or else he will get biblical on their arses.

9And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.

Repeat threat.

10This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.

And all it will cost you is the tip of your willie, oh and your dignity.

11And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.

12And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.

Slavery eh ! A token of a kind and loving god who sees equality in all his children.

13He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.

14And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.

Whether or not he was on speaking terms with anyone from Abraham's family or household.

15And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.

16And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.

Just what a 90 year old woman would want. Besides wouldn't a birthing child be in danger of contracting a lung disease? All that dust and cobwebs.

17Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?

18And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee!

19And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.

20And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation.

21But my covenant will I establish with Isaac, which Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year.

22And he left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham.

Or on the other hand the poor old sod regained conciousness

23And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham's house; and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him.

And no one managed to say what?

24And Abraham was ninety years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.

His just snapped off.

25And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.

26In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son.

27And all the men of his house, born in the house, and bought with money of the stranger, were circumcised with him.
I am confused was not Ham cursed for seeing his daddies winkie ? So therefore were the circumcisions done blindfolded ?
Couple of questions or maybe just a ramble.
Hagar, Ishmaels mother was Egyptian, The oldest documented evidence for circumcision is from Egypts 6th dynasty(B.C.E2345 - 2181) Was Abram just following the wishes of "his" childs mother ?

1 comment:

vamp said...

You make me giggle...funny retorts my friend.

 
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