Thursday, 7 August 2008

Exodus 31



Exodus 31

1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

2See, I have called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah:

3And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship,

4To devise cunning works, to work in gold, and in silver, and in brass,

5And in cutting of stones, to set them, and in carving of timber, to work in all manner of workmanship.

Didn't he outlaw all these things in the 10 commandments, just before he had people break the commandment by making the ark ?

6And I, behold, I have given with him Aholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan: and in the hearts of all that are wise hearted I have put wisdom, that they may make all that I have commanded thee;

7The tabernacle of the congregation, and the ark of the testimony, and the mercy seat that is thereupon, and all the furniture of the tabernacle,

8And the table and his furniture, and the pure candlestick with all his furniture, and the altar of incense,

9And the altar of burnt offering with all his furniture, and the laver and his foot,

10And the cloths of service, and the holy garments for Aaron the priest, and the garments of his sons, to minister in the priest's office,

11And the anointing oil, and sweet incense for the holy place: according to all that I have commanded thee shall they do.

Obsessing about his furniture and perfume........... No, not gay at all !

12And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

13Speak thou also unto the children of Israel, saying, Verily my sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations; that ye may know that I am the LORD that doth sanctify you.

14Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people.

You got that!

All of us that have to work on the sabbath are fucked, all utility and service industries, fucked. Farmworkers,Doctors ,Nurses. For that matter Who doesn't work saturdays sometimes ? I am all for having a day or two off work a week but it shows a lack of the alleged foresight to stamp it down on a certain day of the week.

15Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.

C,mon then which of you god botherin bastards wants to come and take me out.

16Wherefore the children of Israel shall keep the sabbath, to observe the sabbath throughout their generations, for a perpetual covenant.

We all know how jewellers are always shut on saturdays.

17It is a sign between me and the children of Israel for ever: for in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day he rested, and was refreshed.

He was refreshed by his mum bringing him his dinner.Shame he made such a stupid law........... he could've gone down the pub.

18And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.

Exodus 30


Exodus 30

1And thou shalt make an altar to burn incense upon: of shittim wood shalt thou make it.

So the peasants are still hard at it,slaving away furnishing the big tent. No wonder they want to burn some incense. The smell coming from the peasants encampment must be rank !

2A cubit shall be the length thereof, and a cubit the breadth thereof; foursquare shall it be: and two cubits shall be the height thereof: the horns thereof shall be of the same.

3And thou shalt overlay it with pure gold, the top thereof, and the sides thereof round about, and the horns thereof; and thou shalt make unto it a crown of gold round about.

4And two golden rings shalt thou make to it under the crown of it, by the two corners thereof, upon the two sides of it shalt thou make it; and they shall be for places for the staves to bear it withal.

5And thou shalt make the staves of shittim wood, and overlay them with gold.

No expense spared, would it be as extravagent if Moses and family had to pay for it ?

6And thou shalt put it before the vail that is by the ark of the testimony, before the mercy seat that is over the testimony, where I will meet with thee.

7And Aaron shall burn thereon sweet incense every morning: when he dresseth the lamps, he shall burn incense upon it.

Yup that'll mask the stench alright.

8And when Aaron lighteth the lamps at even, he shall burn incense upon it, a perpetual incense before the LORD throughout your generations.

9Ye shall offer no strange incense thereon, nor burnt sacrifice, nor meat offering; neither shall ye pour drink offering thereon.

Otherwise they might have to clean it themselves, or worse still pay someone else to do it.

10And Aaron shall make an atonement upon the horns of it once in a year with the blood of the sin offering of atonements: once in the year shall he make atonement upon it throughout your generations: it is most holy unto the LORD.

11And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

12When thou takest the sum of the children of Israel after their number, then shall they give every man a ransom for his soul unto the LORD, when thou numberest them; that there be no plague among them, when thou numberest them.

Which is to say "count the survivors so we can convince future generations none really died in egypt"

13This they shall give, every one that passeth among them that are numbered, half a shekel after the shekel of the sanctuary: (a shekel is twenty gerahs:) an half shekel shall be the offering of the LORD.

They must have run out of gold and jewellery.

14Every one that passeth among them that are numbered, from twenty years old and above, shall give an offering unto the LORD.

Because we live in a lush forest full of shittim trees and shekel bushes. Not in a desert,at the foot of some mountain.

15The rich shall not give more, and the poor shall not give less than half a shekel, when they give an offering unto the LORD, to make an atonement for your souls.

Fleece the poor till thier last shekel is gone then they can sell themselves into slavery for the lawd, Hally-fuckin'-loo-bastard -yah.

16And thou shalt take the atonement money of the children of Israel, and shalt appoint it for the service of the tabernacle of the congregation; that it may be a memorial unto the children of Israel before the LORD, to make an atonement for your souls.

Because, de lawd, creator of the universe, needs gold and is incapable of making any.

17And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

18Thou shalt also make a laver of brass, and his foot also of brass, to wash withal: and thou shalt put it between the tabernacle of the congregation and the altar, and thou shalt put water therein.

19For Aaron and his sons shall wash their hands and their feet thereat:

Class tent that... Now with bathroom !

20When they go into the tabernacle of the congregation, they shall wash with water, that they die not; or when they come near to the altar to minister, to burn offering made by fire unto the LORD:

21So they shall wash their hands and their feet, that they die not: and it shall be a statute for ever to them, even to him and to his seed throughout their generations.

Because as we all know not washing your hands and feet will prove to be fatal

22Moreover the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

23Take thou also unto thee principal spices, of pure myrrh five hundred shekels, and of sweet cinnamon half so much, even two hundred and fifty shekels, and of sweet calamus two hundred and fifty shekels,

24And of cassia five hundred shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary, and of oil olive an hin:

25And thou shalt make it an oil of holy ointment, an ointment compound after the art of the apothecary: it shall be an holy anointing oil.

Because we don't want to be going round smelling like commoners now do we ?

26And thou shalt anoint the tabernacle of the congregation therewith, and the ark of the testimony,

27And the table and all his vessels, and the candlestick and his vessels, and the altar of incense,

28And the altar of burnt offering with all his vessels, and the laver and his foot.

29And thou shalt sanctify them, that they may be most holy: whatsoever toucheth them shall be holy.

Does this actually mean "only the holy may touch it, no grubby peasants to touch the precious things, it's a holy tent for holy people"

nd if it does , does that also mean that the word holy, which we think of as meaning spiritual, and in some way better , actually means possessed by selfish,spiteful thieves who should not be trusted with anything ever?

30And thou shalt anoint Aaron and his sons, and consecrate them, that they may minister unto me in the priest's office.

31And thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel, saying, This shall be an holy anointing oil unto me throughout your generations.

32Upon man's flesh shall it not be poured, neither shall ye make any other like it, after the composition of it: it is holy, and it shall be holy unto you.

33Whosoever compoundeth any like it, or whosoever putteth any of it upon a stranger, shall even be cut off from his people.

34And the LORD said unto Moses, Take unto thee sweet spices, stacte, and onycha, and galbanum; these sweet spices with pure frankincense: of each shall there be a like weight:

35And thou shalt make it a perfume, a confection after the art of the apothecary, tempered together, pure and holy:

36And thou shalt beat some of it very small, and put of it before the testimony in the tabernacle of the congregation, where I will meet with thee: it shall be unto you most holy.

37And as for the perfume which thou shalt make, ye shall not make to yourselves according to the composition thereof: it shall be unto thee holy for the LORD.

38Whosoever shall make like unto that, to smell thereto, shall even be cut off from his people.

Do you not find it strange ? That we are forever being told that god hates fags/poofs/gays and yet throughout genesis, god and many of the so-called patriarchs were shagging each other silly. Now gods tent has everything "just so",ultra clean and smells like a tarts boudoir, hey, fundy boys and girls I got some news for you...........YOUR GOD MAKES ELTON JOHN LOOK BUTCH !

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Exodus 29


Exodus 29

1And this is the thing that thou shalt do unto them to hallow them, to minister unto me in the priest's office: Take one young bullock, and two rams without blemish,

Having fleeced them all, of their finery, I'll bet you're thinking Ah! he's not such a bad old tyrant he's gonna throw a barbecue party.Unless you're a gay welshman then you may have different thoughts about the rams.

2And unleavened bread, and cakes unleavened tempered with oil, and wafers unleavened anointed with oil: of wheaten flour shalt thou make them.

Sounds like the beginnings of a first class feast.

3And thou shalt put them into one basket, and bring them in the basket, with the bullock and the two rams.

4And Aaron and his sons thou shalt bring unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and shalt wash them with water.

Why am I thinking this is yet another con ?

5And thou shalt take the garments, and put upon Aaron the coat, and the robe of the ephod, and the ephod, and the breastplate, and gird him with the curious girdle of the ephod:

6And thou shalt put the mitre upon his head, and put the holy crown upon the mitre.

Yep gotta look you best when you're conning someone.

7Then shalt thou take the anointing oil, and pour it upon his head, and anoint him.

8And thou shalt bring his sons, and put coats upon them.

9And thou shalt gird them with girdles, Aaron and his sons, and put the bonnets on them: and the priest's office shall be theirs for a perpetual statute: and thou shalt consecrate Aaron and his sons.

10And thou shalt cause a bullock to be brought before the tabernacle of the congregation: and Aaron and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the bullock.

Bullock..... Bullocks indeed.

11And thou shalt kill the bullock before the LORD, by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

12And thou shalt take of the blood of the bullock, and put it upon the horns of the altar with thy finger, and pour all the blood beside the bottom of the altar.

13And thou shalt take all the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul that is above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and burn them upon the altar.

14But the flesh of the bullock, and his skin, and his dung, shalt thou burn with fire without the camp: it is a sin offering.

15Thou shalt also take one ram; and Aaron and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the ram.

16And thou shalt slay the ram, and thou shalt take his blood, and sprinkle it round about upon the altar.

17And thou shalt cut the ram in pieces, and wash the inwards of him, and his legs, and put them unto his pieces, and unto his head.

18And thou shalt burn the whole ram upon the altar: it is a burnt offering unto the LORD: it is a sweet savour, an offering made by fire unto the LORD.

19And thou shalt take the other ram; and Aaron and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the ram.

20Then shalt thou kill the ram, and take of his blood, and put it upon the tip of the right ear of Aaron, and upon the tip of the right ear of his sons, and upon the thumb of their right hand, and upon the great toe of their right foot, and sprinkle the blood upon the altar round about.

21And thou shalt take of the blood that is upon the altar, and of the anointing oil, and sprinkle it upon Aaron, and upon his garments, and upon his sons, and upon the garments of his sons with him: and he shall be hallowed, and his garments, and his sons, and his sons' garments with him.

22Also thou shalt take of the ram the fat and the rump, and the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and the right shoulder; for it is a ram of consecration:

23And one loaf of bread, and one cake of oiled bread, and one wafer out of the basket of the unleavened bread that is before the LORD:

24And thou shalt put all in the hands of Aaron, and in the hands of his sons; and shalt wave them for a wave offering before the LORD.

25And thou shalt receive them of their hands, and burn them upon the altar for a burnt offering, for a sweet savour before the LORD: it is an offering made by fire unto the LORD.

26And thou shalt take the breast of the ram of Aaron's consecration, and wave it for a wave offering before the LORD: and it shall be thy part.

27And thou shalt sanctify the breast of the wave offering, and the shoulder of the heave offering, which is waved, and which is heaved up, of the ram of the consecration, even of that which is for Aaron, and of that which is for his sons:

28And it shall be Aaron's and his sons' by a statute for ever from the children of Israel: for it is an heave offering: and it shall be an heave offering from the children of Israel of the sacrifice of their peace offerings, even their heave offering unto the LORD.

I have to admit I am stumped by this "Heave" offering. Heave to me means to pull,lift or vomit there are other meanings but are mostly variations on a theme so does it mean it's lifted up or thrown up ? I should add that, to get to the bottom of this I read several different translations they all gave the translation "heave" except for, that is, no doubt for a perfectly good reason the New Living Testament gave the translation as "Peace" offering.

29And the holy garments of Aaron shall be his sons' after him, to be anointed therein, and to be consecrated in them.

30And that son that is priest in his stead shall put them on seven days, when he cometh into the tabernacle of the congregation to minister in the holy place.

31And thou shalt take the ram of the consecration, and seethe his flesh in the holy place.

32And Aaron and his sons shall eat the flesh of the ram, and the bread that is in the basket by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

33And they shall eat those things wherewith the atonement was made, to consecrate and to sanctify them: but a stranger shall not eat thereof, because they are holy.

34And if ought of the flesh of the consecrations, or of the bread, remain unto the morning, then thou shalt burn the remainder with fire: it shall not be eaten, because it is holy.

35And thus shalt thou do unto Aaron, and to his sons, according to all things which I have commanded thee: seven days shalt thou consecrate them.

36And thou shalt offer every day a bullock for a sin offering for atonement: and thou shalt cleanse the altar, when thou hast made an atonement for it, and thou shalt anoint it, to sanctify it.

37Seven days thou shalt make an atonement for the altar, and sanctify it; and it shall be an altar most holy: whatsoever toucheth the altar shall be holy.

38Now this is that which thou shalt offer upon the altar; two lambs of the first year day by day continually.

39The one lamb thou shalt offer in the morning; and the other lamb thou shalt offer at even:

40And with the one lamb a tenth deal of flour mingled with the fourth part of an hin of beaten oil; and the fourth part of an hin of wine for a drink offering.

41And the other lamb thou shalt offer at even, and shalt do thereto according to the meat offering of the morning, and according to the drink offering thereof, for a sweet savour, an offering made by fire unto the LORD.

42This shall be a continual burnt offering throughout your generations at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the LORD: where I will meet you, to speak there unto thee.

43And there I will meet with the children of Israel, and the tabernacle shall be sanctified by my glory.

44And I will sanctify the tabernacle of the congregation, and the altar: I will sanctify also both Aaron and his sons, to minister to me in the priest's office.

45And I will dwell among the children of Israel, and will be their God.

46And they shall know that I am the LORD their God, that brought them forth out of the land of Egypt, that I may dwell among them: I am the LORD their God.

If you ask me they are taking the piss, I could understand the building of the ark and it's "temple" on the grounds of inspiring community and duty, not to mention just occupying the people but c'mon what is the point of all this apart from to say to the subdued masses we're in charge and we can do what we want. You are now the slave class you thought you were back in egypt.

Sunday, 27 July 2008

Exodus 28


Exodus 28

In saying that, it seems that the whole family is invited to the "big" tent.

1And take thou unto thee Aaron thy brother, and his sons with him, from among the children of Israel, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office, even Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar, Aaron's sons.

2And thou shalt make holy garments for Aaron thy brother for glory and for beauty.

I am beginning to wonder.... Is Brothers the proper title for Moses and Aarons relationship ? In all my life I have never worried about how my brother dresses himself, but my lover's well !

3And thou shalt speak unto all that are wise hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, that they may make Aaron's garments to consecrate him, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office.

Yet another bible verse no doubt used by catholic priests and lately in an alarming but inceasing fashion, baptist ministers. To lure the young and innocent.

4And these are the garments which they shall make; a breastplate, and an ephod, and a robe, and a broidered coat, a mitre, and a girdle: and they shall make holy garments for Aaron thy brother, and his sons, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office.

5And they shall take gold, and blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen.

6And they shall make the ephod of gold, of blue, and of purple, of scarlet, and fine twined linen, with cunning work.

7It shall have the two shoulderpieces thereof joined at the two edges thereof; and so it shall be joined together.

8And the curious girdle of the ephod, which is upon it, shall be of the same, according to the work thereof; even of gold, of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen.

9And thou shalt take two onyx stones, and grave on them the names of the children of Israel:

10Six of their names on one stone, and the other six names of the rest on the other stone, according to their birth.

11With the work of an engraver in stone, like the engravings of a signet, shalt thou engrave the two stones with the names of the children of Israel: thou shalt make them to be set in ouches of gold.

12And thou shalt put the two stones upon the shoulders of the ephod for stones of memorial unto the children of Israel: and Aaron shall bear their names before the LORD upon his two shoulders for a memorial.

13And thou shalt make ouches of gold;

14And two chains of pure gold at the ends; of wreathen work shalt thou make them, and fasten the wreathen chains to the ouches.

15And thou shalt make the breastplate of judgment with cunning work; after the work of the ephod thou shalt make it; of gold, of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine twined linen, shalt thou make it.

16Foursquare it shall be being doubled; a span shall be the length thereof, and a span shall be the breadth thereof.

17And thou shalt set in it settings of stones, even four rows of stones: the first row shall be a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this shall be the first row.

18And the second row shall be an emerald, a sapphire, and a diamond.

19And the third row a ligure, an agate, and an amethyst.

20And the fourth row a beryl, and an onyx, and a jasper: they shall be set in gold in their inclosings.

21And the stones shall be with the names of the children of Israel, twelve, according to their names, like the engravings of a signet; every one with his name shall they be according to the twelve tribes.

22And thou shalt make upon the breastplate chains at the ends of wreathen work of pure gold.

23And thou shalt make upon the breastplate two rings of gold, and shalt put the two rings on the two ends of the breastplate.

24And thou shalt put the two wreathen chains of gold in the two rings which are on the ends of the breastplate.


25And the other two ends of the two wreathen chains thou shalt fasten in the two ouches, and put them on the shoulderpieces of the ephod before it.

26And thou shalt make two rings of gold, and thou shalt put them upon the two ends of the breastplate in the border thereof, which is in the side of the ephod inward.

27And two other rings of gold thou shalt make, and shalt put them on the two sides of the ephod underneath, toward the forepart thereof, over against the other coupling thereof, above the curious girdle of the ephod.

28And they shall bind the breastplate by the rings thereof unto the rings of the ephod with a lace of blue, that it may be above the curious girdle of the ephod, and that the breastplate be not loosed from the ephod.

29And Aaron shall bear the names of the children of Israel in the breastplate of judgment upon his heart, when he goeth in unto the holy place, for a memorial before the LORD continually.

30And thou shalt put in the breastplate of judgment the Urim and the Thummim; and they shall be upon Aaron's heart, when he goeth in before the LORD: and Aaron shall bear the judgment of the children of Israel upon his heart before the LORD continually.

31And thou shalt make the robe of the ephod all of blue.

32And there shall be an hole in the top of it, in the midst thereof: it shall have a binding of woven work round about the hole of it, as it were the hole of an habergeon, that it be not rent.

33And beneath upon the hem of it thou shalt make pomegranates of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, round about the hem thereof; and bells of gold between them round about:

34A golden bell and a pomegranate, a golden bell and a pomegranate, upon the hem of the robe round about.

35And it shall be upon Aaron to minister: and his sound shall be heard when he goeth in unto the holy place before the LORD, and when he cometh out, that he die not.

36And thou shalt make a plate of pure gold, and grave upon it, like the engravings of a signet, HOLINESS TO THE LORD.

37And thou shalt put it on a blue lace, that it may be upon the mitre; upon the forefront of the mitre it shall be.

38And it shall be upon Aaron's forehead, that Aaron may bear the iniquity of the holy things, which the children of Israel shall hallow in all their holy gifts; and it shall be always upon his forehead, that they may be accepted before the LORD.

39And thou shalt embroider the coat of fine linen, and thou shalt make the mitre of fine linen, and thou shalt make the girdle of needlework.

40And for Aaron's sons thou shalt make coats, and thou shalt make for them girdles, and bonnets shalt thou make for them, for glory and for beauty.

41And thou shalt put them upon Aaron thy brother, and his sons with him; and shalt anoint them, and consecrate them, and sanctify them, that they may minister unto me in the priest's office.

42And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach:

Heyy! Magic underpants....... with the magical power of stopping dangly bits dangling.

43And they shall be upon Aaron, and upon his sons, when they come in unto the tabernacle of the congregation, or when they come near unto the altar to minister in the holy place; that they bear not iniquity, and die: it shall be a statute for ever unto him and his seed after him.

If god is
All-knowing
All- seeing
All- powerful, and he apparently has such a gold fetish.
Why did he not make more of it ?


Exodus 27

Moses gets them to put a nice fence round Jethro's house

1And thou shalt make an altar of shittim wood, five cubits long, and five cubits broad; the altar shall be foursquare: and the height thereof shall be three cubits.

2And thou shalt make the horns of it upon the four corners thereof: his horns shall be of the same: and thou shalt overlay it with brass.

3And thou shalt make his pans to receive his ashes, and his shovels, and his basons, and his fleshhooks, and his firepans: all the vessels thereof thou shalt make of brass.

4And thou shalt make for it a grate of network of brass; and upon the net shalt thou make four brasen rings in the four corners thereof.

5And thou shalt put it under the compass of the altar beneath, that the net may be even to the midst of the altar.

6And thou shalt make staves for the altar, staves of shittim wood, and overlay them with brass.

7And the staves shall be put into the rings, and the staves shall be upon the two sides of the altar, to bear it.

8Hollow with boards shalt thou make it: as it was shewed thee in the mount, so shall they make it.

9And thou shalt make the court of the tabernacle: for the south side southward there shall be hangings for the court of fine twined linen of an hundred cubits long for one side:

10And the twenty pillars thereof and their twenty sockets shall be of brass; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets shall be of silver.

11And likewise for the north side in length there shall be hangings of an hundred cubits long, and his twenty pillars and their twenty sockets of brass; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets of silver.

12And for the breadth of the court on the west side shall be hangings of fifty cubits: their pillars ten, and their sockets ten.

13And the breadth of the court on the east side eastward shall be fifty cubits.

14The hangings of one side of the gate shall be fifteen cubits: their pillars three, and their sockets three.

15And on the other side shall be hangings fifteen cubits: their pillars three, and their sockets three.

16And for the gate of the court shall be an hanging of twenty cubits, of blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen, wrought with needlework: and their pillars shall be four, and their sockets four.

17All the pillars round about the court shall be filleted with silver; their hooks shall be of silver, and their sockets of brass.

18The length of the court shall be an hundred cubits, and the breadth fifty every where, and the height five cubits of fine twined linen, and their sockets of brass.

19All the vessels of the tabernacle in all the service thereof, and all the pins thereof, and all the pins of the court, shall be of brass.

20And thou shalt command the children of Israel, that they bring thee pure oil olive beaten for the light, to cause the lamp to burn always.

21In the tabernacle of the congregation without the vail, which is before the testimony, Aaron and his sons shall order it from evening to morning before the LORD: it shall be a statute for ever unto their generations on the behalf of the children of Israel.
I so want to ridicule this but I can't . Yes I have no doubt that either Moses, Aaron or Jethro benefited immensely from this endeavour, but I also accept It would have helped focus the Israelites, giving them a common cause and at its completion communal ownership and a focal point.