Friday, 30 January 2009

Numbers 32


1Now the children of Reuben and the children of Gad had a very great multitude of cattle: and when they saw the land of Jazer, and the land of Gilead, that, behold, the place was a place for cattle;

I wonder how many cattle the children of Gad would have in more enlightened time or whether these cattle should have been retained by the now orphaned daughters from the Midianites massacre.

2The children of Gad and the children of Reuben came and spake unto Moses, and to Eleazar the priest, and unto the princes of the congregation, saying,

3Ataroth, and Dibon, and Jazer, and Nimrah, and Heshbon, and Elealeh, and Shebam, and Nebo, and Beon,

4Even the country which the LORD smote before the congregation of Israel, is a land for cattle, and thy servants have cattle:

5Wherefore, said they, if we have found grace in thy sight, let this land be given unto thy servants for a possession, and bring us not over Jordan.

6And Moses said unto the children of Gad and to the children of Reuben, Shall your brethren go to war, and shall ye sit here?

Fuck me ! Although his beliefs suck Moses has a point.

7And wherefore discourage ye the heart of the children of Israel from going over into the land which the LORD hath given them?

8Thus did your fathers, when I sent them from Kadeshbarnea to see the land.

9For when they went up unto the valley of Eshcol, and saw the land, they discouraged the heart of the children of Israel, that they should not go into the land which the LORD had given them.

10And the LORD'S anger was kindled the same time, and he sware, saying,

11Surely none of the men that came up out of Egypt, from twenty years old and upward, shall see the land which I sware unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob; because they have not wholly followed me:

I think I mentioned at the time gods legendary foresight was as usual totally lacking when he caused the Israelites to do their own recognizance. Even if he didn't have omniscience and omni prescience he should known from an historical perspective that his chosen were unreliable untrustworthy backstabbing cunts.

12Save Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite, and Joshua the son of Nun: for they have wholly followed the LORD.

Who no doubt, were no different, save for the fact they hadn't been caught.

13And the LORD'S anger was kindled against Israel, and he made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until all the generation, that had done evil in the sight of the LORD, was consumed.

14And, behold, ye are risen up in your fathers' stead, an increase of sinful men, to augment yet the fierce anger of the LORD toward Israel.

15For if ye turn away from after him, he will yet again leave them in the wilderness; and ye shall destroy all this people.

16And they came near unto him, and said, We will build sheepfolds here for our cattle, and cities for our little ones:

Perhaps if they hadn't made such a total mess of the cities that were already there then they wouldn't have to be building new cities.

17But we ourselves will go ready armed before the children of Israel, until we have brought them unto their place: and our little ones shall dwell in the fenced cities because of the inhabitants of the land.

18We will not return unto our houses, until the children of Israel have inherited every man his inheritance.

Inheritance ?......

–noun 1. something that is or may be inherited; property passing at the owner's death to the heir or those entitled to succeed; legacy. 2. the genetic characters transmitted from parent to offspring, taken collectively. 3. something, as a quality, characteristic, or other immaterial possession, received from progenitors or predecessors as if by succession: an inheritance of family pride. 4. the act or fact of inheriting by succession, as if by succession, or genetically: to receive property by inheritance. 5. portion; birthright; heritage: Absolute rule was considered the inheritance of kings.

Notice the word pillage or the phrase about to be pillaged, not included in the above definition.

19For we will not inherit with them on yonder side Jordan, or forward; because our inheritance is fallen to us on this side Jordan eastward.

20And Moses said unto them, If ye will do this thing, if ye will go armed before the LORD to war,

21And will go all of you armed over Jordan before the LORD, until he hath driven out his enemies from before him,

22And the land be subdued before the LORD: then afterward ye shall return, and be guiltless before the LORD, and before Israel; and this land shall be your possession before the LORD.

I doubt the Geneva Conventions would think them guiltless especially since 1996 when the war crimes act was passed, I certainly don't.

23But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.

How many good german soldiers were prosecuted especially guards of concentration camps for "following orders".

I ask you Hitler and Moses are they much different ?

24Build you cities for your little ones, and folds for your sheep; and do that which hath proceeded out of your mouth.

25And the children of Gad and the children of Reuben spake unto Moses, saying, Thy servants will do as my lord commandeth.

26Our little ones, our wives, our flocks, and all our cattle, shall be there in the cities of Gilead:

27But thy servants will pass over, every man armed for war, before the Lord to battle, as my lord saith.

28So concerning them Moses commanded Eleazar the priest, and Joshua the son of Nun, and the chief fathers of the tribes of the children of Israel:

29And Moses said unto them, If the children of Gad and the children of Reuben will pass with you over Jordan, every man armed to battle, before the LORD, and the land shall be subdued before you; then ye shall give them the land of Gilead for a possession:

30But if they will not pass over with you armed, they shall have possessions among you in the land of Canaan.

31And the children of Gad and the children of Reuben answered, saying, As the LORD hath said unto thy servants, so will we do.

32We will pass over armed before the LORD into the land of Canaan, that the possession of our inheritance on this side Jordan may be our's.

33And Moses gave unto them, even to the children of Gad, and to the children of Reuben, and unto half the tribe of Manasseh the son of Joseph, the kingdom of Sihon king of the Amorites, and the kingdom of Og king of Bashan, the land, with the cities thereof in the coasts, even the cities of the country round about.

34And the children of Gad built Dibon, and Ataroth, and Aroer,

35And Atroth, Shophan, and Jaazer, and Jogbehah,

36And Bethnimrah, and Bethharan, fenced cities: and folds for sheep.

37And the children of Reuben built Heshbon, and Elealeh, and Kirjathaim,

38And Nebo, and Baalmeon, (their names being changed,) and Shibmah: and gave other names unto the cities which they builded.

39And the children of Machir the son of Manasseh went to Gilead, and took it, and dispossessed the Amorite which was in it.

Some how seems to be OK unless you realise dispossed in this case probably means the Amorites were dispossed from thier lives aswell.

40And Moses gave Gilead unto Machir the son of Manasseh; and he dwelt therein.

41And Jair the son of Manasseh went and took the small towns thereof, and called them Havothjair.

42And Nobah went and took Kenath, and the villages thereof, and called it Nobah, after his own name.
Nobah is that No Bar or Knobba ? Either way I don't think I would like to be there.

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Numbers 31



1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

2Avenge the children of Israel of the Midianites: afterward shalt thou be gathered unto thy people.

Avenge the children of Israel of the Midianites.... I know many of us don't always see eye to eye with our in-laws but really.

3And Moses spake unto the people, saying, Arm some of yourselves unto the war, and let them go against the Midianites, and avenge the LORD of Midian.

Now I understand de lards promise of peace....They get it when they have killed every one else.

4Of every tribe a thousand, throughout all the tribes of Israel, shall ye send to the war.

5So there were delivered out of the thousands of Israel, a thousand of every tribe, twelve thousand armed for war.

6And Moses sent them to the war, a thousand of every tribe, them and Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, to the war, with the holy instruments, and the trumpets to blow in his hand.

7And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males.

8And they slew the kings of Midian, beside the rest of them that were slain; namely, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, five kings of Midian: Balaam also the son of Beor they slew with the sword.

Perhaps if he hadn't hit his head and turned coward and traitor he may have lived.

9And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods.

10And they burnt all their cities wherein they dwelt, and all their goodly castles, with fire.

11And they took all the spoil, and all the prey, both of men and of beasts.

12And they brought the captives, and the prey, and the spoil, unto Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and unto the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the camp at the plains of Moab, which are by Jordan near Jericho.

13And Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and all the princes of the congregation, went forth to meet them without the camp.

14And Moses was wroth with the officers of the host, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle.

15And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive?

16Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the LORD in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD.

17Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.

Can you feel the love....

18But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

So all the women they probably raped were killed, and the ones they didn't the could rape another day.

19And do ye abide without the camp seven days: whosoever hath killed any person, and whosoever hath touched any slain, purify both yourselves and your captives on the third day, and on the seventh day.

20And purify all your raiment, and all that is made of skins, and all work of goats' hair, and all things made of wood.

21And Eleazar the priest said unto the men of war which went to the battle, This is the ordinance of the law which the LORD commanded Moses;

So the laws demanding purification after being around a dead body far more importent than that irritating "Thou shalt not kill"

22Only the gold, and the silver, the brass, the iron, the tin, and the lead,

23Every thing that may abide the fire, ye shall make it go through the fire, and it shall be clean: nevertheless it shall be purified with the water of separation: and all that abideth not the fire ye shall make go through the water.

24And ye shall wash your clothes on the seventh day, and ye shall be clean, and afterward ye shall come into the camp.

And that other one "thou shalt not steal"

25And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

Does it really matter what de lard said as the so gods chosen people have turned into a murdering hoard, ignoring god knows how many of de lards commandments in the process.

26Take the sum of the prey that was taken, both of man and of beast, thou, and Eleazar the priest, and the chief fathers of the congregation:

27And divide the prey into two parts; between them that took the war upon them, who went out to battle, and between all the congregation:

28And levy a tribute unto the LORD of the men of war which went out to battle: one soul of five hundred, both of the persons, and of the beeves, and of the asses, and of the sheep:

29Take it of their half, and give it unto Eleazar the priest, for an heave offering of the LORD.

30And of the children of Israel's half, thou shalt take one portion of fifty, of the persons, of the beeves, of the asses, and of the flocks, of all manner of beasts, and give them unto the Levites, which keep the charge of the tabernacle of the LORD.

31And Moses and Eleazar the priest did as the LORD commanded Moses.

32And the booty, being the rest of the prey which the men of war had caught, was six hundred thousand and seventy thousand and five thousand sheep,

33And threescore and twelve thousand beeves,

34And threescore and one thousand asses,

35And thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him.

32,000 young women and girls, so how many married women were just murdered because they were married ?

36And the half, which was the portion of them that went out to war, was in number three hundred thousand and seven and thirty thousand and five hundred sheep:

37And the LORD'S tribute of the sheep was six hundred and threescore and fifteen.

38And the beeves were thirty and six thousand; of which the LORD'S tribute was threescore and twelve.

39And the asses were thirty thousand and five hundred; of which the LORD'S tribute was threescore and one.

40And the persons were sixteen thousand; of which the LORD'S tribute was thirty and two persons.

Does this mean they were sacrificed to de lard ?


Or does it mean they were brought to the priesthood so they wouldn't miss out on the debauchery ?

41And Moses gave the tribute, which was the LORD'S heave offering, unto Eleazar the priest, as the LORD commanded Moses.

42And of the children of Israel's half, which Moses divided from the men that warred,

43(Now the half that pertained unto the congregation was three hundred thousand and thirty thousand and seven thousand and five hundred sheep,

44And thirty and six thousand beeves,

45And thirty thousand asses and five hundred,

46And sixteen thousand persons;)

47Even of the children of Israel's half, Moses took one portion of fifty, both of man and of beast, and gave them unto the Levites, which kept the charge of the tabernacle of the LORD; as the LORD commanded Moses.

48And the officers which were over thousands of the host, the captains of thousands, and captains of hundreds, came near unto Moses:

49And they said unto Moses, Thy servants have taken the sum of the men of war which are under our charge, and there lacketh not one man of us.

50We have therefore brought an oblation for the LORD, what every man hath gotten, of jewels of gold, chains, and bracelets, rings, earrings, and tablets, to make an atonement for our souls before the LORD.

51And Moses and Eleazar the priest took the gold of them, even all wrought jewels.

52And all the gold of the offering that they offered up to the LORD, of the captains of thousands, and of the captains of hundreds, was sixteen thousand seven hundred and fifty shekels.

53(For the men of war had taken spoil, every man for himself.)

54And Moses and Eleazar the priest took the gold of the captains of thousands and of hundreds, and brought it into the tabernacle of the congregation, for a memorial for the children of Israel before the LORD.

I am in no way justifying the persecution of the jews that has happened in the last 2,000 -3,0000 or so years but it does make me wonder whether there is any truth in Karma.

Monday, 26 January 2009

Numbers 30

1And Moses spake unto the heads of the tribes concerning the children of Israel, saying, This is the thing which the LORD hath commanded.

2If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.

A man's word is his bond........ on the face of it a good thing.....

3If a woman also vow a vow unto the LORD, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father's house in her youth;

Now we will see how enlightened the new improved Moses is

4And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her; then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand.

5But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the LORD shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her.

So a woman's word is only worth something if it is witnessed and agreed upon by her father.

6And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;

7And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

Or her husband

8But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her.

9But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.

10And if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath;

11And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

12But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the LORD shall forgive her.

13Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void.

14But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them.

15But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity.

16These are the statutes, which the LORD commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between the father and his daughter, being yet in her youth in her father's house.


So a man's word is his bond but a woman's word is valid first on her significant owner's permission.

Numbers 29


1And in the seventh month, on the first day of the month, ye shall have an holy convocation; ye shall do no servile work: it is a day of blowing the trumpets unto you.

No servile work....... but you will spend the day blowing trumpets.....

2And ye shall offer a burnt offering for a sweet savour unto the LORD; one young bullock, one ram, and seven lambs of the first year without blemish:

...........and offering sacrifices

3And their meat offering shall be of flour mingled with oil, three tenth deals for a bullock, and two tenth deals for a ram,

4And one tenth deal for one lamb, throughout the seven lambs:

5And one kid of the goats for a sin offering, to make an atonement for you:

6Beside the burnt offering of the month, and his meat offering, and the daily burnt offering, and his meat offering, and their drink offerings, according unto their manner, for a sweet savour, a sacrifice made by fire unto the LORD.

7And ye shall have on the tenth day of this seventh month an holy convocation; and ye shall afflict your souls: ye shall not do any work therein:

8But ye shall offer a burnt offering unto the LORD for a sweet savour; one young bullock, one ram, and seven lambs of the first year; they shall be unto you without blemish:

9And their meat offering shall be of flour mingled with oil, three tenth deals to a bullock, and two tenth deals to one ram,

10A several tenth deal for one lamb, throughout the seven lambs:

11One kid of the goats for a sin offering; beside the sin offering of atonement, and the continual burnt offering, and the meat offering of it, and their drink offerings.

12And on the fifteenth day of the seventh month ye shall have an holy convocation; ye shall do no servile work, and ye shall keep a feast unto the LORD seven days:

13And ye shall offer a burnt offering, a sacrifice made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD; thirteen young bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year; they shall be without blemish:

14And their meat offering shall be of flour mingled with oil, three tenth deals unto every bullock of the thirteen bullocks, two tenth deals to each ram of the two rams,

15And a several tenth deal to each lamb of the fourteen lambs:

16And one kid of the goats for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, his meat offering, and his drink offering.

17And on the second day ye shall offer twelve young bullocks, two rams, fourteen lambs of the first year without spot:

18And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

19And one kid of the goats for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, and the meat offering thereof, and their drink offerings.

20And on the third day eleven bullocks, two rams, fourteen lambs of the first year without blemish;

What ! No mention of a partridge in a pear tree ?

21And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

22And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, and his meat offering, and his drink offering.

23And on the fourth day ten bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year without blemish:

24Their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

25And one kid of the goats for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, his meat offering, and his drink offering.

26And on the fifth day nine bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year without spot:

27And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

28And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, and his meat offering, and his drink offering.

29And on the sixth day eight bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year without blemish:

30And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

31And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, his meat offering, and his drink offering.

32And on the seventh day seven bullocks, two rams, and fourteen lambs of the first year without blemish:

33And their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullocks, for the rams, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

34And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, his meat offering, and his drink offering.

35On the eighth day ye shall have a solemn assembly: ye shall do no servile work therein:

36But ye shall offer a burnt offering, a sacrifice made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD: one bullock, one ram, seven lambs of the first year without blemish:

37Their meat offering and their drink offerings for the bullock, for the ram, and for the lambs, shall be according to their number, after the manner:

38And one goat for a sin offering; beside the continual burnt offering, and his meat offering, and his drink offering.

39These things ye shall do unto the LORD in your set feasts, beside your vows, and your freewill offerings, for your burnt offerings, and for your meat offerings, and for your drink offerings, and for your peace offerings.

So we are still going with the theme of the lard thy gawd and his priesthood demanding a slice of your hard earned for no reason than he and they can.

40And Moses told the children of Israel according to all that the LORD commanded Moses.

Numbers 28


1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

2Command the children of Israel, and say unto them, My offering, and my bread for my sacrifices made by fire, for a sweet savour unto me, shall ye observe to offer unto me in their due season.

Notice how de lard is not going through the annoying and unnecessary self introduction as he did when Aaron was alive.

3And thou shalt say unto them, This is the offering made by fire which ye shall offer unto the LORD; two lambs of the first year without spot day by day, for a continual burnt offering.

However what follows is just another demand of sacrifices. Again I ask what would a supernatural creator of all need with these sacrifices. They appear to serve no purpose than a show of servitude of the masses(and getting the preisthood even fatter) And in the equality of all religions it is a greater tax on the poor than it is on the rich.

4The one lamb shalt thou offer in the morning, and the other lamb shalt thou offer at even;

5And a tenth part of an ephah of flour for a meat offering, mingled with the fourth part of an hin of beaten oil.

6It is a continual burnt offering, which was ordained in mount Sinai for a sweet savour, a sacrifice made by fire unto the LORD.

7And the drink offering thereof shall be the fourth part of an hin for the one lamb: in the holy place shalt thou cause the strong wine to be poured unto the LORD for a drink offering.

8And the other lamb shalt thou offer at even: as the meat offering of the morning, and as the drink offering thereof, thou shalt offer it, a sacrifice made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.

9And on the sabbath day two lambs of the first year without spot, and two tenth deals of flour for a meat offering, mingled with oil, and the drink offering thereof:

10This is the burnt offering of every sabbath, beside the continual burnt offering, and his drink offering.

11And in the beginnings of your months ye shall offer a burnt offering unto the LORD; two young bullocks, and one ram, seven lambs of the first year without spot;

12And three tenth deals of flour for a meat offering, mingled with oil, for one bullock; and two tenth deals of flour for a meat offering, mingled with oil, for one ram;

13And a several tenth deal of flour mingled with oil for a meat offering unto one lamb; for a burnt offering of a sweet savour, a sacrifice made by fire unto the LORD.

14And their drink offerings shall be half an hin of wine unto a bullock, and the third part of an hin unto a ram, and a fourth part of an hin unto a lamb: this is the burnt offering of every month throughout the months of the year.

15And one kid of the goats for a sin offering unto the LORD shall be offered, beside the continual burnt offering, and his drink offering.

16And in the fourteenth day of the first month is the passover of the LORD.

17And in the fifteenth day of this month is the feast: seven days shall unleavened bread be eaten.

18In the first day shall be an holy convocation; ye shall do no manner of servile work therein:

19But ye shall offer a sacrifice made by fire for a burnt offering unto the LORD; two young bullocks, and one ram, and seven lambs of the first year: they shall be unto you without blemish:

20And their meat offering shall be of flour mingled with oil: three tenth deals shall ye offer for a bullock, and two tenth deals for a ram;

21A several tenth deal shalt thou offer for every lamb, throughout the seven lambs:

22And one goat for a sin offering, to make an atonement for you.

23Ye shall offer these beside the burnt offering in the morning, which is for a continual burnt offering.

24After this manner ye shall offer daily, throughout the seven days, the meat of the sacrifice made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD: it shall be offered beside the continual burnt offering, and his drink offering.

25And on the seventh day ye shall have an holy convocation; ye shall do no servile work.

26Also in the day of the firstfruits, when ye bring a new meat offering unto the LORD, after your weeks be out, ye shall have an holy convocation; ye shall do no servile work:

27But ye shall offer the burnt offering for a sweet savour unto the LORD; two young bullocks, one ram, seven lambs of the first year;

28And their meat offering of flour mingled with oil, three tenth deals unto one bullock, two tenth deals unto one ram,

29A several tenth deal unto one lamb, throughout the seven lambs;

30And one kid of the goats, to make an atonement for you.

31Ye shall offer them beside the continual burnt offering, and his meat offering, (they shall be unto you without blemish) and their drink offerings.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

Numbers 27

1Then came the daughters of Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of Manasseh the son of Joseph: and these are the names of his daughters; Mahlah, Noah, and Hoglah, and Milcah, and Tirzah.

2And they stood before Moses, and before Eleazar the priest, and before the princes and all the congregation, by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, saying,

3Our father died in the wilderness, and he was not in the company of them that gathered themselves together against the LORD in the company of Korah; but died in his own sin, and had no sons.

What are they saying he masturbated himself to death .....That's dedication, mind you he has come from a long line of wankers.

4Why should the name of our father be done away from among his family, because he hath no son? Give unto us therefore a possession among the brethren of our father.

5And Moses brought their cause before the LORD.

6And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

7The daughters of Zelophehad speak right: thou shalt surely give them a possession of an inheritance among their father's brethren; and thou shalt cause the inheritance of their father to pass unto them.

Has Moses suddenly got a different imaginary friend ? Or is it just a lucid moment, a while ago, I would have expected him to sequester the family riches. Moses suddenly seems to be a different person. OK.He has a few minor quirks, such as a quest for world domination, but on the whole seems lacking in your basic madness. Then again another interpretation could be possible........Neurosyphillis

But if that was the case he would have lived too long so he was just plain mental.

8And thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a man die, and have no son, then ye shall cause his inheritance to pass unto his daughter.

Strange..... god suddenly has some rights for the female of the species, could it be one of gods voices has been replaced by a younger, hornier version.

9And if he have no daughter, then ye shall give his inheritance unto his brethren.

10And if he have no brethren, then ye shall give his inheritance unto his father's brethren.

11And if his father have no brethren, then ye shall give his inheritance unto his kinsman that is next to him of his family, and he shall possess it: and it shall be unto the children of Israel a statute of judgment, as the LORD commanded Moses.

12And the LORD said unto Moses, Get thee up into this mount Abarim, and see the land which I have given unto the children of Israel.

I gotta ask Did god not give the world to Adam and all his decendants ? If he did, then why has he gone back on his word to the rest of mankind ? I thought he told Noah to go forth and multiply, now he is telling Moses to go forth and Massacre. I would have thought though If you knew everything why would you keep fucking up and why would you keep changing your mind ?

13And when thou hast seen it, thou also shalt be gathered unto thy people, as Aaron thy brother was gathered.

14For ye rebelled against my commandment in the desert of Zin, in the strife of the congregation, to sanctify me at the water before their eyes: that is the water of Meribah in Kadesh in the wilderness of Zin.

15And Moses spake unto the LORD, saying,

16Let the LORD, the God of the spirits of all flesh, set a man over the congregation,

17Which may go out before them, and which may go in before them, and which may lead them out, and which may bring them in; that the congregation of the LORD be not as sheep which have no shepherd.

18And the LORD said unto Moses, Take thee Joshua the son of Nun, a man in whom is the spirit, and lay thine hand upon him;

19And set him before Eleazar the priest, and before all the congregation; and give him a charge in their sight.

20And thou shalt put some of thine honour upon him, that all the congregation of the children of Israel may be obedient.

21And he shall stand before Eleazar the priest, who shall ask counsel for him after the judgment of Urim before the LORD: at his word shall they go out, and at his word they shall come in, both he, and all the children of Israel with him, even all the congregation.

22And Moses did as the LORD commanded him: and he took Joshua, and set him before Eleazar the priest, and before all the congregation:

23And he laid his hands upon him, and gave him a charge, as the LORD commanded by the hand of Moses.

What is al this laying of hands business ? I know christian fuckwits do it for their ridiculous pseudo healing bullshit but how is that part of this ?
I suppose it could be yet another verse the catholic preisthood use as excuses for "laying their hands" on somebodies son ?

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Numbers 26




1And it came to pass after the plague, that the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Eleazar the son of Aaron the priest, saying.

2Take the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, from twenty years old and upward, throughout their fathers' house, all that are able to go to war in Israel.

What was that covenant of peace again ?

3And Moses and Eleazar the priest spake with them in the plains of Moab by Jordan near Jericho, saying,

I feel a numbing list of names coming up, funny when you read the word numbers you think of counting and such but I am sure it should be written Numb' ers as you feel numb after trawling through these seemingly endless lists.

4Take the sum of the people, from twenty years old and upward; as the LORD commanded Moses and the children of Israel, which went forth out of the land of Egypt.

5Reuben, the eldest son of Israel: the children of Reuben; Hanoch, of whom cometh the family of the Hanochites: of Pallu, the family of the Palluites:

6Of Hezron, the family of the Hezronites: of Carmi, the family of the Carmites.

7These are the families of the Reubenites: and they that were numbered of them were forty and three thousand and seven hundred and thirty.

8And the sons of Pallu; Eliab.

9And the sons of Eliab; Nemuel, and Dathan, and Abiram. This is that Dathan and Abiram, which were famous in the congregation, who strove against Moses and against Aaron in the company of Korah, when they strove against the LORD:

10And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up together with Korah, when that company died, what time the fire devoured two hundred and fifty men: and they became a sign.


11Notwithstanding the children of Korah died not.

12The sons of Simeon after their families: of Nemuel, the family of the Nemuelites: of Jamin, the family of the Jaminites: of Jachin, the family of the Jachinites:

13Of Zerah, the family of the Zarhites: of Shaul, the family of the Shaulites.

14These are the families of the Simeonites, twenty and two thousand and two hundred.

15The children of Gad after their families: of Zephon, the family of the Zephonites: of Haggi, the family of the Haggites: of Shuni, the family of the Shunites:

16Of Ozni, the family of the Oznites: of Eri, the family of the Erites:

17Of Arod, the family of the Arodites: of Areli, the family of the Arelites.

18These are the families of the children of Gad according to those that were numbered of them, forty thousand and five hundred.

19The sons of Judah were Er and Onan: and Er and Onan died in the land of Canaan.

20And the sons of Judah after their families were; of Shelah, the family of the Shelanites: of Pharez, the family of the Pharzites: of Zerah, the family of the Zarhites.

21And the sons of Pharez were; of Hezron, the family of the Hezronites: of Hamul, the family of the Hamulites.

22These are the families of Judah according to those that were numbered of them, threescore and sixteen thousand and five hundred.

23Of the sons of Issachar after their families: of Tola, the family of the Tolaites: of Pua, the family of the Punites:

24Of Jashub, the family of the Jashubites: of Shimron, the family of the Shimronites.

25These are the families of Issachar according to those that were numbered of them, threescore and four thousand and three hundred.

26Of the sons of Zebulun after their families: of Sered, the family of the Sardites: of Elon, the family of the Elonites: of Jahleel, the family of the Jahleelites.

27These are the families of the Zebulunites according to those that were numbered of them, threescore thousand and five hundred.

28The sons of Joseph after their families were Manasseh and Ephraim.

29Of the sons of Manasseh: of Machir, the family of the Machirites: and Machir begat Gilead: of Gilead come the family of the Gileadites.

30These are the sons of Gilead: of Jeezer, the family of the Jeezerites: of Helek, the family of the Helekites:

31And of Asriel, the family of the Asrielites: and of Shechem, the family of the Shechemites:

32And of Shemida, the family of the Shemidaites: and of Hepher, the family of the Hepherites.

33And Zelophehad the son of Hepher had no sons, but daughters: and the names of the daughters of Zelophehad were Mahlah, and Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.

34These are the families of Manasseh, and those that were numbered of them, fifty and two thousand and seven hundred.

35These are the sons of Ephraim after their families: of Shuthelah, the family of the Shuthalhites: of Becher, the family of the Bachrites: of Tahan, the family of the Tahanites.

36And these are the sons of Shuthelah: of Eran, the family of the Eranites.

37These are the families of the sons of Ephraim according to those that were numbered of them, thirty and two thousand and five hundred. These are the sons of Joseph after their families.

38The sons of Benjamin after their families: of Bela, the family of the Belaites: of Ashbel, the family of the Ashbelites: of Ahiram, the family of the Ahiramites:

39Of Shupham, the family of the Shuphamites: of Hupham, the family of the Huphamites.

40And the sons of Bela were ard and Naaman: of Ard, the family of the Ardites: and of Naaman, the family of the Naamites.

41These are the sons of Benjamin after their families: and they that were numbered of them were forty and five thousand and six hundred.

42These are the sons of Dan after their families: of Shuham, the family of the Shuhamites. These are the families of Dan after their families.

43All the families of the Shuhamites, according to those that were numbered of them, were threescore and four thousand and four hundred.

44Of the children of Asher after their families: of Jimna, the family of the Jimnites: of Jesui, the family of the Jesuites: of Beriah, the family of the Beriites.

45Of the sons of Beriah: of Heber, the family of the Heberites: of Malchiel, the family of the Malchielites.

46And the name of the daughter of Asher was Sarah.

47These are the families of the sons of Asher according to those that were numbered of them; who were fifty and three thousand and four hundred.

48Of the sons of Naphtali after their families: of Jahzeel, the family of the Jahzeelites: of Guni, the family of the Gunites:

49Of Jezer, the family of the Jezerites: of Shillem, the family of the Shillemites.

50These are the families of Naphtali according to their families: and they that were numbered of them were forty and five thousand and four hundred.

51These were the numbered of the children of Israel, six hundred thousand and a thousand seven hundred and thirty.

52And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

53Unto these the land shall be divided for an inheritance according to the number of names.

54To many thou shalt give the more inheritance, and to few thou shalt give the less inheritance: to every one shall his inheritance be given according to those that were numbered of him.

55Notwithstanding the land shall be divided by lot: according to the names of the tribes of their fathers they shall inherit.

56According to the lot shall the possession thereof be divided between many and few.

57And these are they that were numbered of the Levites after their families: of Gershon, the family of the Gershonites: of Kohath, the family of the Kohathites: of Merari, the family of the Merarites.

58These are the families of the Levites: the family of the Libnites, the family of the Hebronites, the family of the Mahlites, the family of the Mushites, the family of the Korathites. And Kohath begat Amram.

59And the name of Amram's wife was Jochebed, the daughter of Levi, whom her mother bare to Levi in Egypt: and she bare unto Amram Aaron and Moses, and Miriam their sister.

60And unto Aaron was born Nadab, and Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar.

61And Nadab and Abihu died, when they offered strange fire before the LORD.

62And those that were numbered of them were twenty and three thousand, all males from a month old and upward: for they were not numbered among the children of Israel, because there was no inheritance given them among the children of Israel.

Sooo....the guy's doing the actual fighting get a share if the were old enough to do the fighting apart from the preisthhood who didn't fight and are eligible for a cut as long as they are a month old.....

63These are they that were numbered by Moses and Eleazar the priest, who numbered the children of Israel in the plains of Moab by Jordan near Jericho.

64But among these there was not a man of them whom Moses and Aaron the priest numbered, when they numbered the children of Israel in the wilderness of Sinai.

Hang on......Nearly missed that.

Is that not saying the hoards of Israelites invading,conquering and pillaging are NOT the egyptian evacuees,the desert disciples. ? Makes me wonder, firstly whether there is a splicing of stories here and secondly whether this Moses here is the same Moses.

65For the LORD had said of them, They shall surely die in the wilderness. And there was not left a man of them, save Caleb the son of Jephunneh, and Joshua the son of Nun.

Monday, 19 January 2009

Numbers 25

1And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab.

2And they called the people unto the sacrifices of their gods: and the people did eat, and bowed down to their gods.

3And Israel joined himself unto Baalpeor: and the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel.

4And the LORD said unto Moses, Take all the heads of the people, and hang them up before the LORD against the sun, that the fierce anger of the LORD may be turned away from Israel.

5And Moses said unto the judges of Israel, Slay ye every one his men that were joined unto Baalpeor.

6And, behold, one of the children of Israel came and brought unto his brethren a Midianitish woman in the sight of Moses, and in the sight of all the congregation of the children of Israel, who were weeping before the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

Is not mrs Moses, Zipporah a Midianitish woman ?

7And when Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose up from among the congregation, and took a javelin in his hand;

8And he went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly. So the plague was stayed from the children of Israel.

Is this Human Sacrifice ?

9And those that died in the plague were twenty and four thousand.

Is this a plague from having lots of dead people laying around or is it a plague of isrealites murdering the inhabitants of Baalpeor.

10And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

11Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, hath turned my wrath away from the children of Israel, while he was zealous for my sake among them, that I consumed not the children of Israel in my jealousy.

De lard always was swayed by fit young men

12Wherefore say, Behold, I give unto him my covenant of peace:

Is this like all the other covenants of peace de lard has given .... we all know they aren't worth the mud they are carved in.

13And he shall have it, and his seed after him, even the covenant of an everlasting priesthood; because he was zealous for his God, and made an atonement for the children of Israel.

14Now the name of the Israelite that was slain, even that was slain with the Midianitish woman, was Zimri, the son of Salu, a prince of a chief house among the Simeonites.

15And the name of the Midianitish woman that was slain was Cozbi, the daughter of Zur; he was head over a people, and of a chief house in Midian.

16And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

Ignore the covenent of peace I just gave you

17Vex the Midianites, and smite them:

18For they vex you with their wiles, wherewith they have beguiled you in the matter of Peor, and in the matter of Cozbi, the daughter of a prince of Midian, their sister, which was slain in the day of the plague for Peor's sake.


So it was Human Sacrifice

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Numbers 24


Numbers 24

1And when Balaam saw that it pleased the LORD to bless Israel, he went not, as at other times, to seek for enchantments, but he set his face toward the wilderness.

2And Balaam lifted up his eyes, and he saw Israel abiding in his tents according to their tribes; and the spirit of God came upon him.

The holy spirit gave him a pearl necklace ????

Or his injury caused a fit.

3And he took up his parable, and said, Balaam the son of Beor hath said, and the man whose eyes are open hath said:

4He hath said, which heard the words of God, which saw the vision of the Almighty, falling into a trance, but having his eyes open:

Might be more than a straightforward head injury it may be some form of epilepsy

5How goodly are thy tents, O Jacob, and thy tabernacles, O Israel!

6As the valleys are they spread forth, as gardens by the river's side, as the trees of lign aloes which the LORD hath planted, and as cedar trees beside the waters.

7He shall pour the water out of his buckets, and his seed shall be in many waters, and his king shall be higher than Agag, and his kingdom shall be exalted.

8God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.

9He couched, he lay down as a lion, and as a great lion: who shall stir him up? Blessed is he that blesseth thee, and cursed is he that curseth thee.

10And Balak's anger was kindled against Balaam, and he smote his hands together: and Balak said unto Balaam, I called thee to curse mine enemies, and, behold, thou hast altogether blessed them these three times.

11Therefore now flee thou to thy place: I thought to promote thee unto great honour; but, lo, the LORD hath kept thee back from honour.

12And Balaam said unto Balak, Spake I not also to thy messengers which thou sentest unto me, saying,

13If Balak would give me his house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the commandment of the LORD, to do either good or bad of mine own mind; but what the LORD saith, that will I speak?

14And now, behold, I go unto my people: come therefore, and I will advertise thee what this people shall do to thy people in the latter days.

15And he took up his parable, and said, Balaam the son of Beor hath said, and the man whose eyes are open hath said:

16He hath said, which heard the words of God, and knew the knowledge of the most High, which saw the vision of the Almighty, falling into a trance, but having his eyes open:

17I shall see him, but not now: I shall behold him, but not nigh: there shall come a Star out of Jacob, and a Sceptre shall rise out of Israel, and shall smite the corners of Moab, and destroy all the children of Sheth.

Well that has me convinced....What we have here is hallucinations ,probably caused by some swelling on the brain from his falling on his ass when he fell off his ass.


Occipital Lobes: most posterior, at the back of the head

18And Edom shall be a possession, Seir also shall be a possession for his enemies; and Israel shall do valiantly.

19Out of Jacob shall come he that shall have dominion, and shall destroy him that remaineth of the city.

20And when he looked on Amalek, he took up his parable, and said, Amalek was the first of the nations; but his latter end shall be that he perish for ever.

21And he looked on the Kenites, and took up his parable, and said, Strong is thy dwellingplace, and thou puttest thy nest in a rock.

22Nevertheless the Kenite shall be wasted, until Asshur shall carry thee away captive.

23And he took up his parable, and said, Alas, who shall live when God doeth this!

24And ships shall come from the coast of Chittim, and shall afflict Asshur, and shall afflict Eber, and he also shall perish for ever.

25And Balaam rose up, and went and returned to his place: and Balak also went his way.

Numbers 23

1And Balaam said unto Balak, Build me here seven altars, and prepare me here seven oxen and seven rams.

Umm was he not just reprimanded for beating his ass

2And Balak did as Balaam had spoken; and Balak and Balaam offered on every altar a bullock and a ram.

So you are a bad Balaam if you beat your donkey but it's fine to ritually kill fourteen other animals ????? And then burn their flesh and bones so what you have left are piles of ashes.

3And Balaam said unto Balak, Stand by thy burnt offering, and I will go: peradventure the LORD will come to meet me: and whatsoever he sheweth me I will tell thee. And he went to an high place.

4And God met Balaam: and he said unto him, I have prepared seven altars, and I have offered upon every altar a bullock and a ram.

I think Balaams brain injury is worse than we thought !!!Or the god here is just a leader, ranking personage

5And the LORD put a word in Balaam's mouth, and said, Return unto Balak, and thus thou shalt speak.

What word ???? may I suggest penis

6And he returned unto him, and, lo, he stood by his burnt sacrifice, he, and all the princes of Moab.

And proudly stated....all my own work

7And he took up his parable, and said, Balak the king of Moab hath brought me from Aram, out of the mountains of the east, saying, Come, curse me Jacob, and come, defy Israel.

Is that not a way of saying .."he started talking bollocks."

8How shall I curse, whom God hath not cursed? or how shall I defy, whom the LORD hath not defied?

9For from the top of the rocks I see him, and from the hills I behold him: lo, the people shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned among the nations.

10Who can count the dust of Jacob, and the number of the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!

Jacob ? Israel as a person? Have we entered another time warp ?

11And Balak said unto Balaam, What hast thou done unto me? I took thee to curse mine enemies, and, behold, thou hast blessed them altogether.

12And he answered and said, Must I not take heed to speak that which the LORD hath put in my mouth?

13And Balak said unto him, Come, I pray thee, with me unto another place, from whence thou mayest see them: thou shalt see but the utmost part of them, and shalt not see them all: and curse me them from thence.

14And he brought him into the field of Zophim, to the top of Pisgah, and built seven altars, and offered a bullock and a ram on every altar.

15And he said unto Balak, Stand here by thy burnt offering, while I meet the LORD yonder.

16And the LORD met Balaam, and put a word in his mouth, and said, Go again unto Balak, and say thus.

17And when he came to him, behold, he stood by his burnt offering, and the princes of Moab with him. And Balak said unto him, What hath the LORD spoken?

18And he took up his parable, and said, Rise up, Balak, and hear; hearken unto me, thou son of Zippor:

19God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?

20Behold, I have received commandment to bless: and he hath blessed; and I cannot reverse it.

21He hath not beheld iniquity in Jacob, neither hath he seen perverseness in Israel: the LORD his God is with him, and the shout of a king is among them.

So by gods standards you are "faithful" if you are capable of betraying, selling, murdering, rapeing any other human being but especially if you are willing to do it to your own family.

22God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.

First a talking Donkey Now Unicorns, has Balaam wandered through a wardrobe.

23Surely there is no enchantment against Jacob, neither is there any divination against Israel: according to this time it shall be said of Jacob and of Israel, What hath God wrought!

To me they are a right divvy nation.

24Behold, the people shall rise up as a great lion, and lift up himself as a young lion: he shall not lie down until he eat of the prey, and drink the blood of the slain.

Yes, don't know when, but Balaam has entered Narnia.

25And Balak said unto Balaam, Neither curse them at all, nor bless them at all.

26But Balaam answered and said unto Balak, Told not I thee, saying, All that the LORD speaketh, that I must do?

27And Balak said unto Balaam, Come, I pray thee, I will bring thee unto another place; peradventure it will please God that thou mayest curse me them from thence.

28And Balak brought Balaam unto the top of Peor, that looketh toward jeshimon.

29And Balaam said unto Balak, Build me here seven altars, and prepare me here seven bullocks and seven rams.

30And Balak did as Balaam had said, and offered a bullock and a ram on every altar.

A bad day for bullocks

Sunday, 11 January 2009

Numbers 22


1And the children of Israel set forward, and pitched in the plains of Moab on this side Jordan by Jericho.

At risk of repeating myself why ? If they have conquered all theses cities why do they need to carry on conquering if all they want is somewhere to live ?

2And Balak the son of Zippor saw all that Israel had done to the Amorites.

Is not Zipporah Mrs Moses could that mean that Balak might be Moses's nephew ?

3And Moab was sore afraid of the people, because they were many: and Moab was distressed because of the children of Israel.

Moab should be afraid as contrary to the popular presupposition that Moses and his minions are the force of law and a structured society. The laws of mob rule are the only laws apparent here, but it's alright 'cos it's done in the name of de lard.

4And Moab said unto the elders of Midian, Now shall this company lick up all that are round about us, as the ox licketh up the grass of the field. And Balak the son of Zippor was king of the Moabites at that time.

5He sent messengers therefore unto Balaam the son of Beor to Pethor, which is by the river of the land of the children of his people, to call him, saying, Behold, there is a people come out from Egypt: behold, they cover the face of the earth, and they abide over against me:

6Come now therefore, I pray thee, curse me this people; for they are too mighty for me: peradventure I shall prevail, that we may smite them, and that I may drive them out of the land: for I wot that he whom thou blessest is blessed, and he whom thou cursest is cursed.

7And the elders of Moab and the elders of Midian departed with the rewards of divination in their hand; and they came unto Balaam, and spake unto him the words of Balak.

8And he said unto them, Lodge here this night, and I will bring you word again, as the LORD shall speak unto me: and the princes of Moab abode with Balaam.

9And God came unto Balaam, and said, What men are these with thee?

Omniscient as ever !

10And Balaam said unto God, Balak the son of Zippor, king of Moab, hath sent unto me, saying,

11Behold, there is a people come out of Egypt, which covereth the face of the earth: come now, curse me them; peradventure I shall be able to overcome them, and drive them out.

12And God said unto Balaam, Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people: for they are blessed.

13And Balaam rose up in the morning, and said unto the princes of Balak, Get you into your land: for the LORD refuseth to give me leave to go with you.

14And the princes of Moab rose up, and they went unto Balak, and said, Balaam refuseth to come with us.

15And Balak sent yet again princes, more, and more honourable than they.

16And they came to Balaam, and said to him, Thus saith Balak the son of Zippor, Let nothing, I pray thee, hinder thee from coming unto me:

17For I will promote thee unto very great honour, and I will do whatsoever thou sayest unto me: come therefore, I pray thee, curse me this people.

18And Balaam answered and said unto the servants of Balak, If Balak would give me his house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the word of the LORD my God, to do less or more.

19Now therefore, I pray you, tarry ye also here this night, that I may know what the LORD will say unto me more.

20And God came unto Balaam at night, and said unto him, If the men come to call thee, rise up, and go with them; but yet the word which I shall say unto thee, that shalt thou do.

21And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.

22And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.

Funny that ! the word adversary in almost any other context in the bible would be translated by it's sound...Shaitan or Satan. But god couldn,t have appointed Satan to do the dirty work as he cast him out of heaven(allegedly) in or before Enoch.

The fact that he's fucked eitherway implies to me however this is obviously just a fairy story, or the messenger was either ugly or smelly enough to startle a donkey.

23And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.

24But the angel of the LORD stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side.

I know from personal experience that if you are walking down a dark narrow alley your own shadow can suddenly leap out at you. It may not be butch but when you are young it can give you a bit of a start, the same I imagine is for a donkey.

25And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall: and he smote her again.

26And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.

27And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.

Note the text doesn't mention Balaam seeing the angel.

28And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?

I think Balaam hit his head.

29And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.

30And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.

31Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.

32And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:

33And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.

'cos we all know how god likes saving innocents especially the ones that complain about thier masters.

34And Balaam said unto the angel of the LORD, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou stoodest in the way against me: now therefore, if it displease thee, I will get me back again.

35And the angel of the LORD said unto Balaam, Go with the men: but only the word that I shall speak unto thee, that thou shalt speak. So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.

36And when Balak heard that Balaam was come, he went out to meet him unto a city of Moab, which is in the border of Arnon, which is in the utmost coast.

37And Balak said unto Balaam, Did I not earnestly send unto thee to call thee? wherefore camest thou not unto me? am I not able indeed to promote thee to honour?

38And Balaam said unto Balak, Lo, I am come unto thee: have I now any power at all to say any thing? the word that God putteth in my mouth, that shall I speak.

39And Balaam went with Balak, and they came unto Kirjathhuzoth.

40And Balak offered oxen and sheep, and sent to Balaam, and to the princes that were with him.

41And it came to pass on the morrow, that Balak took Balaam, and brought him up into the high places of Baal, that thence he might see the utmost part of the people.

So the crux of the matter here is not that god created a miracle and made Balaam's ass talk,but Balaam was a spineless ass that sold out his own mates to save his own ass and made up a bullshit story about his ass to cover his ass so some dumbass would believe him.

Saturday, 10 January 2009

Numbers 21

1And when king Arad the Canaanite, which dwelt in the south, heard tell that Israel came by the way of the spies; then he fought against Israel, and took some of them prisoners.

Makes you wonder why they weren't wanted. was it the reputation of Moses or his god. Not that it really matters they are both cunts.

2And Israel vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou wilt indeed deliver this people into my hand, then I will utterly destroy their cities.

Still trying there then.

3And the LORD hearkened to the voice of Israel, and delivered up the Canaanites; and they utterly destroyed them and their cities: and he called the name of the place Hormah.

So the "peaceful" unhomed Israelites sack not one but possibly all their cities and they then live in one of their cities.....but no they move on...strange that, some one couldn't possibly stretching the truth a little bit.

4And they journeyed from mount Hor by the way of the Red sea, to compass the land of Edom: and the soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way.

What! After winning all those great battles and no doubt gathering in untold riches as spoils of war ?

5And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread.

Either I have stumbled on the reason the Israelites were not wanted, or if it's not a mass infection of halitosis, then it must be bullshit I smell.

6And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.

Fiery serpents ? lava ? burning oil ? bad dream ? Thrush, some other STD???

7Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people.

8And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live.

You telling me they were emigrating over the world back then.

9And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.

A serpent of brass ? Is that not an image of a fiery serpent ? were images of anything not forbidden back in Exodus, chapter 20 verse 4 to be exact "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth." you know one of the commandments from god that god made Moses break when he told him to construct the Ark of the Covenant.

Now it just occurred to me as I was looking for a picture of a fiery serpent, would not burning oil rained down from a besieged city wall look like fiery serpents although how a brass model would do anything about it is beyond me

10And the children of Israel set forward, and pitched in Oboth.

11And they journeyed from Oboth, and pitched at Ijeabarim, in the wilderness which is before Moab, toward the sunrising.

12From thence they removed, and pitched in the valley of Zared.

13From thence they removed, and pitched on the other side of Arnon, which is in the wilderness that cometh out of the coasts of the Amorites: for Arnon is the border of Moab, between Moab and the Amorites.

14Wherefore it is said in the book of the wars of the LORD, What he did in the Red sea, and in the brooks of Arnon,

What book is that then and where can I get hold of it ?

15And at the stream of the brooks that goeth down to the dwelling of Ar, and lieth upon the border of Moab.

16And from thence they went to Beer: that is the well whereof the LORD spake unto Moses, Gather the people together, and I will give them water.

17Then Israel sang this song, Spring up, O well; sing ye unto it:

What they are at a watering hole, a they not picking up women ...... or have they already married their close relatives.

18The princes digged the well, the nobles of the people digged it, by the direction of the lawgiver, with their staves. And from the wilderness they went to Mattanah:

I thought for a minute there we had a genuine prophesy then I realised it didn't say Manhatten.

19And from Mattanah to Nahaliel: and from Nahaliel to Bamoth:

20And from Bamoth in the valley, that is in the country of Moab, to the top of Pisgah, which looketh toward Jeshimon.

21And Israel sent messengers unto Sihon king of the Amorites, saying,

22Let me pass through thy land: we will not turn into the fields, or into the vineyards; we will not drink of the waters of the well: but we will go along by the king's high way, until we be past thy borders.

23And Sihon would not suffer Israel to pass through his border: but Sihon gathered all his people together, and went out against Israel into the wilderness: and he came to Jahaz, and fought against Israel.

24And Israel smote him with the edge of the sword, and possessed his land from Arnon unto Jabbok, even unto the children of Ammon: for the border of the children of Ammon was strong.

25And Israel took all these cities: and Israel dwelt in all the cities of the Amorites, in Heshbon, and in all the villages thereof.

I have to know is any of this real outside of the original author's head.

First of all we need a date to be looking for, fairly easy if you dont want to be too accurate as previously pointed out the santorini eruption has been dated to around 1350/1450 bce. so we are looking at a period around 1300-1400 bce.

Via The Ancient History Sourcebook I found this

The princes are prostrate, saying: "Mercy!"
Not one raises his head among the Nine Bows.
Desolation is for Tehenu; Hatti is pacified;
Plundered is the Canaan with every evil;
Carried off is Ashkelon; seized upon is Gezer;
Yanoam is made as that which does not exist;
Israel is laid waste, his seed is not;
Hurru is become a widow for Egypt!
All lands together, they are pacified;


I also found this which started well and then employed the clutch at straw technique for archaeological interpretation.

26For Heshbon was the city of Sihon the king of the Amorites, who had fought against the former king of Moab, and taken all his land out of his hand, even unto Arnon.

27Wherefore they that speak in proverbs say, Come into Heshbon, let the city of Sihon be built and prepared:

28For there is a fire gone out of Heshbon, a flame from the city of Sihon: it hath consumed ar of Moab, and the lords of the high places of Arnon.

29Woe to thee, Moab! thou art undone, O people of Chemosh: he hath given his sons that escaped, and his daughters, into captivity unto Sihon king of the Amorites.

30We have shot at them; Heshbon is perished even unto Dibon, and we have laid them waste even unto Nophah, which reacheth unto Medeba.

31Thus Israel dwelt in the land of the Amorites.

32And Moses sent to spy out Jaazer, and they took the villages thereof, and drove out the Amorites that were there.

33And they turned and went up by the way of Bashan: and og the king of bashan went out against them, he, and all his people, to the battle at edrei.

34And the LORD said unto Moses, Fear him not: for I have delivered him into thy hand, and all his people, and his land; and thou shalt do to him as thou didst unto Sihon king of the Amorites, which dwelt at Heshbon.

35So they smote him, and his sons, and all his people, until there was none left him alive: and they possessed his land.

Let me get this straight.....These people that needed divine help to escape 600 Egyptian charioteers, whose numbers have been reduced by natural(and allegedly unnatural disasters) are now after a generation able to decimate entire cities without anyone else mentioning so much as a "by the way Moses and his crew had a day trip to Canaan and capped his ass"
 
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