Tuesday 26 August 2008

Exodus 40



Exodus 40

1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

2On the first day of the first month shalt thou set up the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation.

3And thou shalt put therein the ark of the testimony, and cover the ark with the vail.

Is it covered so the people that have these laws imposed on them cannot see it was constructed by breaking at least one of the commandments. Or that it was constructed using far less gold than was given taken.

4And thou shalt bring in the table, and set in order the things that are to be set in order upon it; and thou shalt bring in the candlestick, and light the lamps thereof.

5And thou shalt set the altar of gold for the incense before the ark of the testimony, and put the hanging of the door to the tabernacle.

6And thou shalt set the altar of the burnt offering before the door of the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation.

7And thou shalt set the laver between the tent of the congregation and the altar, and shalt put water therein.

A laver is apparently a bowl.

8And thou shalt set up the court round about, and hang up the hanging at the court gate.

9And thou shalt take the anointing oil, and anoint the tabernacle, and all that is therein, and shalt hallow it, and all the vessels thereof: and it shall be holy.

10And thou shalt anoint the altar of the burnt offering, and all his vessels, and sanctify the altar: and it shall be an altar most holy.

11And thou shalt anoint the laver and his foot, and sanctify it.

12And thou shalt bring Aaron and his sons unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and wash them with water.

This still gives me visions of Cher.

13And thou shalt put upon Aaron the holy garments, and anoint him, and sanctify him; that he may minister unto me in the priest's office.

14And thou shalt bring his sons, and clothe them with coats:

15And thou shalt anoint them, as thou didst anoint their father, that they may minister unto me in the priest's office: for their anointing shall surely be an everlasting priesthood throughout their generations.

16Thus did Moses: according to all that the LORD commanded him, so did he.

17And it came to pass in the first month in the second year, on the first day of the month, that the tabernacle was reared up.

18And Moses reared up the tabernacle, and fastened his sockets, and set up the boards thereof, and put in the bars thereof, and reared up his pillars.

I mentioned Ikea flatpack altars way back in Genesis nice to know they haven't folded.

19And he spread abroad the tent over the tabernacle, and put the covering of the tent above upon it; as the LORD commanded Moses.

20And he took and put the testimony into the ark, and set the staves on the ark, and put the mercy seat above upon the ark:

21And he brought the ark into the tabernacle, and set up the vail of the covering, and covered the ark of the testimony; as the LORD commanded Moses.

22And he put the table in the tent of the congregation, upon the side of the tabernacle northward, without the vail.

23And he set the bread in order upon it before the LORD; as the LORD had commanded Moses.

Because Jethro like Jacob many years ago likes his sammiches.

24And he put the candlestick in the tent of the congregation, over against the table, on the side of the tabernacle southward.

25And he lighted the lamps before the LORD; as the LORD commanded Moses.

26And he put the golden altar in the tent of the congregation before the vail:

27And he burnt sweet incense thereon; as the LORD commanded Moses.

28And he set up the hanging at the door of the tabernacle.

29And he put the altar of burnt offering by the door of the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation, and offered upon it the burnt offering and the meat offering; as the LORD commanded Moses.

30And he set the laver between the tent of the congregation and the altar, and put water there, to wash withal.

31And Moses and Aaron and his sons washed their hands and their feet there at:

32When they went into the tent of the congregation, and when they came near unto the altar, they washed; as the LORD commanded Moses.

33And he reared up the court round about the tabernacle and the altar, and set up the hanging of the court gate. So Moses finished the work.

34Then a cloud covered the tent of the congregation, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.

After the "appearance of god" on the mountain I am very suspicious of clouds and smoke especially when it involves more manifestations of the alleged almighty. It could well be smoke or some chemical combination giving off a thick vapour.

35And Moses was not able to enter into the tent of the congregation, because the cloud abode thereon, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.

Especially if Moses or anyone else was unable to enter.

36And when the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the children of Israel went onward in all their journeys:

Perhaps they were just fumigating the Big Tent.

37But if the cloud were not taken up, then they journeyed not till the day that it was taken up.

38For the cloud of the LORD was upon the tabernacle by day, and fire was on it by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel, throughout all their journeys.
Or maybe they are just hiding the breaking of the no fire rule on chilly sabbaths.

I don't know if I am being overly skeptical, I mean coincindences do happen. I have already pointed out similarities with various other myths from the middle and near east, Sargon ,Adapa and others and here I go again the Enuma Elish also contains tablets given from (a)god(ess) to man

Exodus 36 to 39


Exodus 36
This again is just a reiteration of the Tent making so much so there is no point in posting it here if however you cannot live without it go here

Exodus 37,38and 39 are just going on about the construction again they are all here
I will continue with the final chapter later today.

Exodus 35

Sorry for the delay been away partying




Exodus 35

1And Moses gathered all the congregation of the children of Israel together, and said unto them, These are the words which the LORD hath commanded, that ye should do them.

2Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death.

All us people that work on the sabbath are fucked then !

3Ye shall kindle no fire throughout your habitations upon the sabbath day.

No fire..... yeah right ! That's fine if you live a short bus journey from the equator, but the rest of us need a bit more than gods love to keep us warm. Up to the usual standard of foresight then.

4And Moses spake unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, saying, This is the thing which the LORD commanded, saying,

Hey I feel a flashback coming on or was it a flash forward in chapter 28

So what follows is the fleecing of the former slaves former riches to make the Ark, its ancillaries and the big tent, it is just a summary of chapter 28 so I shall move on..........

5Take ye from among you an offering unto the LORD: whosoever is of a willing heart, let him bring it, an offering of the LORD; gold, and silver, and brass,

6And blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair,

7And rams' skins dyed red, and badgers' skins, and shittim wood,

8And oil for the light, and spices for anointing oil, and for the sweet incense,

9And onyx stones, and stones to be set for the ephod, and for the breastplate.

10And every wise hearted among you shall come, and make all that the LORD hath commanded;

11The tabernacle, his tent, and his covering, his taches, and his boards, his bars, his pillars, and his sockets,

12The ark, and the staves thereof, with the mercy seat, and the vail of the covering,

13The table, and his staves, and all his vessels, and the shewbread,

14The candlestick also for the light, and his furniture, and his lamps, with the oil for the light,

15And the incense altar, and his staves, and the anointing oil, and the sweet incense, and the hanging for the door at the entering in of the tabernacle,

16The altar of burnt offering, with his brasen grate, his staves, and all his vessels, the laver and his foot,

17The hangings of the court, his pillars, and their sockets, and the hanging for the door of the court,

18The pins of the tabernacle, and the pins of the court, and their cords,

19The cloths of service, to do service in the holy place, the holy garments for Aaron the priest, and the garments of his sons, to minister in the priest's office.

20And all the congregation of the children of Israel departed from the presence of Moses.

21And they came, every one whose heart stirred him up, and every one whom his spirit made willing, and they brought the LORD's offering to the work of the tabernacle of the congregation, and for all his service, and for the holy garments.

22And they came, both men and women, as many as were willing hearted, and brought bracelets, and earrings, and rings, and tablets, all jewels of gold: and every man that offered offered an offering of gold unto the LORD.

23And every man, with whom was found blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair, and red skins of rams, and badgers' skins, brought them.

24Every one that did offer an offering of silver and brass brought the LORD's offering: and every man, with whom was found shittim wood for any work of the service, brought it.

25And all the women that were wise hearted did spin with their hands, and brought that which they had spun, both of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine linen.

26And all the women whose heart stirred them up in wisdom spun goats' hair.

27And the rulers brought onyx stones, and stones to be set, for the ephod, and for the breastplate;

28And spice, and oil for the light, and for the anointing oil, and for the sweet incense.

29The children of Israel brought a willing offering unto the LORD, every man and woman, whose heart made them willing to bring for all manner of work, which the LORD had commanded to be made by the hand of Moses.

30And Moses said unto the children of Israel, See, the LORD hath called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah;

31And he hath filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship;

32And to devise curious works, to work in gold, and in silver, and in brass,

33And in the cutting of stones, to set them, and in carving of wood, to make any manner of cunning work.

34And he hath put in his heart that he may teach, both he, and Aholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan.

35Them hath he filled with wisdom of heart, to work all manner of work, of the engraver, and of the cunning workman, and of the embroiderer, in blue, and in purple, in scarlet, and in fine linen, and of the weaver, even of them that do any work, and of those that devise cunning work.

Friday 15 August 2008

Exodus 34



Exodus 34

1And the LORD said unto Moses, Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first: and I will write upon these tables the words that were in the first tables, which thou brakest.

Would they not be images of the first tablets ? Did not god forbid the carving of images of all things in heaven and earth ?

2And be ready in the morning, and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai, and present thyself there to me in the top of the mount.

In the previous chapter we were told how Moses espied gods backparts.

Was this a promise of things to come ? Is this what god means by present yourself.

Do I remember Cher saying something similar...I love the internet I don't need a memory anymore....

Supposedly on her 40th birthday she saw hunky 22-year-old bagel-boy Rob Camilletti for the first time and said, "Have him washed and brought to my tent."

3And no man shall come up with thee, neither let any man be seen throughout all the mount; neither let the flocks nor herds feed before that mount.

No witnesses cos god is unleashing his never before seen legendary foresight. He knows he is going to poo poo poop chute sex in the next book. Just trying it again to make sure it really is disgusting.

Personally I think any sex should be disgusting..............If its done really well.

4And he hewed two tables of stone like unto the first; and Moses rose up early in the morning, and went up unto mount Sinai, as the LORD had commanded him, and took in his hand the two tables of stone.

Funny I always imagined them bigger than just a hand full, perhaps I have Charlton Heston for that.

5And the LORD descended in the cloud, and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the LORD.

Oh god !,Oh god !,Oh god !,Oh god !,Aaahhhhh men.No wonder he didn't want people overhearing

6And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth,

7Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.

Have I understood this correctly ? He forgives you wrongdoing but will punish your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren for something you have done. What a complete and utter cunt !

8And Moses made haste, and bowed his head toward the earth, and worshipped.

Now don't talk with your mouth full Moses. Wait , judging by how insecure god seems to be, that'll probably half full no deep throat needed here.

9And he said, If now I have found grace in thy sight, O LORD, let my LORD, I pray thee, go among us; for it is a stiffnecked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for thine inheritance.

I thought he already took thier inheritence.

10And he said, Behold, I make a covenant: before all thy people I will do marvels, such as have not been done in all the earth, nor in any nation: and all the people among which thou art shall see the work of the LORD: for it is a terrible thing that I will do with thee.

Would this statement not have been a bit more convincing if god had broadcast it to the world ,or at least to the throng below, rather than just what amounts to pillow talk.

11Observe thou that which I command thee this day: behold, I drive out before thee the Amorite, and the Canaanite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, and the Hivite, and the Jebusite.

But you got to get to know them first cos' you can't be mean to strangers ?

12Take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land whither thou goest, lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee:

You can't say take out a lease or rent your land amicably

13But ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves:

You shall vandalise any of thier shit the as and when you find it.

14For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:

Because god is terribly insecure cos his mumsy don't loves him and he has a terribly small tadger.

15Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and one call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice;

16And thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods.

Because the race must be pure for the fatherland... seig heil !

17Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.

No runny gods here.

18The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep. Seven days thou shalt eat unleavened bread, as I commanded thee, in the time of the month Abib: for in the month Abib thou camest out from Egypt.

Though shalt not waste yeast on breadmaking .....Its needed for beer

19All that openeth the matrix is mine; and every firstling among thy cattle, whether ox or sheep, that is male.

A worryingthought,why would he want only the male firstborn .Is gods gayness leaping species.

20But the firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb: and if thou redeem him not, then shalt thou break his neck. All the firstborn of thy sons thou shalt redeem. And none shall appear before me empty.

Here we go again. Why ? We have been told god created all the species of the earth in a few days. Why does he just not snap his fingers and call one into existance instead of blagging one off his "followers" ?

21Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest: in earing time and in harvest thou shalt rest.

Try telling that to a farmer when his crops are going tits up and need harvesting now. Mind you god never had much time for farmers. Remember Able ?

22And thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the firstfruits of wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end.

Because your god must have his beer.

23Thrice in the year shall all your menchildren appear before the LORD God, the God of Israel.

That could have been phrased better.

24For I will cast out the nations before thee, and enlarge thy borders: neither shall any man desire thy land, when thou shalt go up to appear before the LORD thy God thrice in the year.

Is this the recurring theme that has made the jewish people so unwelcome in countries throughout the world ?

25Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leaven; neither shall the sacrifice of the feast of the passover be left unto the morning.

Because I am so powerful and magnificent, but will be upset if you don't manage it on time.

26The first of the firstfruits of thy land thou shalt bring unto the house of the LORD thy God. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.

So the his almighty benevolence has told us that if we fuck up he will fuck us over for four generations and by the way here is a list of demands for any shit you might acquire through hard work.

27And the LORD said unto Moses, Write thou these words: for after the tenor of these words I have made a covenant with thee and with Israel.

And he can't even be bothered to write his owwn list out.

28And he was there with the LORD forty days and forty nights; he did neither eat bread, nor drink water. And he wrote upon the tables the words of the covenant, the ten commandments.

So you can live on semen alone.

29And it came to pass, when Moses came down from mount Sinai with the two tables of testimony in Moses' hand, when he came down from the mount, that Moses wist not that the skin of his face shone while he talked with him.

I thought it was good for the complexion.

30And when Aaron and all the children of Israel saw Moses, behold, the skin of his face shone; and they were afraid to come nigh him.

31And Moses called unto them; and Aaron and all the rulers of the congregation returned unto him: and Moses talked with them.

32And afterward all the children of Israel came nigh: and he gave them in commandment all that the LORD had spoken with him in mount Sinai.

33And till Moses had done speaking with them, he put a vail on his face.

34But when Moses went in before the LORD to speak with him, he took the vail off, until he came out. And he came out, and spake unto the children of Israel that which he was commanded.

So god didn't want the people to be near him and now he is in the tent......

Hello Jethro.

35And the children of Israel saw the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses' face shone: and Moses put the vail upon his face again, until he went in to speak with him.

Exodus 33

Exodus 33

1And the LORD said unto Moses, Depart, and go up hence, thou and the people which thou hast brought up out of the land of Egypt, unto the land which I sware unto Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, saying, Unto thy seed will I give it:

Oh dear! The alzheimers has kicked in again, gods repeating himself.

2And I will send an angel before thee; and I will drive out the Canaanite, the Amorite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite:

But....but..... surely they're strangers, I thought god said to be nice to strangers(just don't take sweeties from them children)

3Unto a land flowing with milk and honey: for I will not go up in the midst of thee; for thou art a stiffnecked people: lest I consume thee in the way.

A land flowing with milk and honey.......with newspaper taxi's an marmalade skies perhaps.

Honestly where did the scribes come up with this shit ?

4And when the people heard these evil tidings, they mourned: and no man did put on him his ornaments.

No man put on his ornaments.... could that be because they had all been utilised by Jethro god for the big tents furniture ?

5For the LORD had said unto Moses, Say unto the children of Israel, Ye are a stiffnecked people: I will come up into the midst of thee in a moment, and consume thee: therefore now put off thy ornaments from thee, that I may know what to do unto thee.

6And the children of Israel stripped themselves of their ornaments by the mount Horeb.

If they weren't wearing their "ornaments", how could they remove them ?

7And Moses took the tabernacle, and pitched it without the camp, afar off from the camp, and called it the Tabernacle of the congregation. And it came to pass, that every one which sought the LORD went out unto the tabernacle of the congregation, which was without the camp.

8And it came to pass, when Moses went out unto the tabernacle, that all the people rose up, and stood every man at his tent door, and looked after Moses, until he was gone into the tabernacle.

9And it came to pass, as Moses entered into the tabernacle, the cloudy pillar descended, and stood at the door of the tabernacle, and the Lord talked with Moses.

Jethro god must be making an appearance they have moved off so people can't see too clearly.

10And all the people saw the cloudy pillar stand at the tabernacle door: and all the people rose up and worshipped, every man in his tent door.

Where there's smoke there's liar.

11And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle.

Are Moses and Jethro spit roasting Joshua ?

12And Moses said unto the LORD, See, thou sayest unto me, Bring up this people: and thou hast not let me know whom thou wilt send with me. Yet thou hast said, I know thee by name, and thou hast also found grace in my sight.

13Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people.

14And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.

15And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence.

16For wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? is it not in that thou goest with us? so shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth.

17And the LORD said unto Moses, I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name.

18And he said, I beseech thee, shew me thy glory.

Is there anyway of reading this that does not mean get your kit off ?

19And he said, I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the LORD before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy.

20And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live.

When Jacob was "wrestling" with god did he not see him or were gods testicles dangling in his eyes ?

21And the LORD said, Behold, there is a place by me, and thou shalt stand upon a rock:

22And it shall come to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with my hand while I pass by: 23And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.

Reads like gay porn.

Thursday 14 August 2008


Before I continue I have to say Thankyou to Poodles as she has given me an award. I am now apparently obliged to award 7 others. So here goes.

Firstly, Vamp for the initial inspiration to start this endeavour the second would have gone to T&A for the same reason but unfortunately, at least for the time being he has ceased blogging. Next I choose Buffy,also wishing her the best for the future as she and her partner have just married and are on their honeymoon. Then Berlzebub for showing me what can be achieved if people take the trouble to work together. The next must go to the team at the Pink Triangle, a daily read for me. Enshoku for taking an interest. Am I allowed to give Poodles one ? There's a double entendre if I ever saw one. Finally, for showing us all how important education is,how twisted believers can be, how ridiculous such beliefs are and services to Atheism above and beyond the call of duty, but mostly because it suits my warped sense of humour I would like to award Nancy.
There are many blogs listed on my sidebar that I frequently visit but I am not a frequent commenter on them so I don't honestly feel comfortable giving them an award directly, but a special mention to the following.. The Athiest Experience, The Watcher and Tail and Gills

Update
Oh dear !
It seems Nancy has had to go lie down. Perhaps the award I gave her was too much for her poor delicate sensitivities and given her "vapours". Or maybe the baby she is carrying is the Antichrist and his horns are scraping her womb.

Friday 8 August 2008

Exodus 32

Exodus 32

1And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.

Okay! Now I am confused, the last few chapters have not happened they are god saying what will happen, a Dallas moment if you please.

2And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me.

But it seems Aaron is thinking like Jethro god.

3And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron.

Good boy you learnt your lessons well, that's right start small fleece them of their earrings first.

4And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.

5And when Aaron saw it, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, To morrow is a feast to the LORD.

Same name.....different effigy calf or a box would it really matter to something that was truly divine ?

6And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.

7And the LORD said unto Moses, Go, get thee down; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted themselves:

8They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them: they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it, and have sacrificed thereunto, and said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which have brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.

9And the LORD said unto Moses, I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiff necked people:

10Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation.

11And Moses besought the LORD his God, and said, LORD, why doth thy wrath wax hot against thy people, which thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power, and with a mighty hand?

12Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people.

13Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, thy servants, to whom thou swarest by thine own self, and saidst unto them, I will multiply your seed as the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have spoken of will I give unto your seed, and they shall inherit it for ever.

14And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people.

Is it just me? Or would you not expect god to be above such petty emotions, especially that any inadequacies man shows can only be attributed to his design.

15And Moses turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.

16And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.

17And when Joshua heard the noise of the people as they shouted, he said unto Moses, There is a noise of war in the camp.

18And he said, It is not the voice of them that shout for mastery, neither is it the voice of them that cry for being overcome: but the noise of them that sing do I hear.

19And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses' anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.

He's angry not because of the calf but because they are daring to be happy and party without permission.

20And he took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it.

Mmmm! Gold water (goldwasser is a very nice polish liqueur)

21And Moses said unto Aaron, What did this people unto thee, that thou hast brought so great a sin upon them?

22And Aaron said, Let not the anger of my lord wax hot: thou knowest the people, that they are set on mischief.

That's it Aaron prove you're part of the family, pass the buck, deny all responsibility.

23For they said unto me, Make us gods, which shall go before us: for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.

24And I said unto them, Whosoever hath any gold, let them break it off. So they gave it me: then I cast it into the fire, and there came out this calf.

Goddidit! Honest bruv.

25And when Moses saw that the people were naked; (for Aaron had made them naked unto their shame among their enemies:)

Wow! A REAL Party.

26Then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who is on the LORD's side? let him come unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves together unto him.

27And he said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour.

To prove god is love........ Go kill any fucker caught enjoying themselves or any fucker that looks like they might enjoy themselves given half a chance.

28And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses: and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men.

29For Moses had said, Consecrate yourselves today to the LORD, even every man upon his son, and upon his brother; that he may bestow upon you a blessing this day.

30And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses said unto the people, Ye have sinned a great sin: and now I will go up unto the LORD; peradventure I shall make an atonement for your sin.

31And Moses returned unto the LORD, and said, Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of gold.

32Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin--; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written.

33And the LORD said unto Moses, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book.

34Therefore now go, lead the people unto the place of which I have spoken unto thee: behold, mine Angel shall go before thee: nevertheless in the day when I visit I will visit their sin upon them.

35And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made.
They made the calf which Aaron made......Guilt by association

Tell me again about gods wisdom..

Thursday 7 August 2008

Exodus 31



Exodus 31

1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

2See, I have called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah:

3And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship,

4To devise cunning works, to work in gold, and in silver, and in brass,

5And in cutting of stones, to set them, and in carving of timber, to work in all manner of workmanship.

Didn't he outlaw all these things in the 10 commandments, just before he had people break the commandment by making the ark ?

6And I, behold, I have given with him Aholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan: and in the hearts of all that are wise hearted I have put wisdom, that they may make all that I have commanded thee;

7The tabernacle of the congregation, and the ark of the testimony, and the mercy seat that is thereupon, and all the furniture of the tabernacle,

8And the table and his furniture, and the pure candlestick with all his furniture, and the altar of incense,

9And the altar of burnt offering with all his furniture, and the laver and his foot,

10And the cloths of service, and the holy garments for Aaron the priest, and the garments of his sons, to minister in the priest's office,

11And the anointing oil, and sweet incense for the holy place: according to all that I have commanded thee shall they do.

Obsessing about his furniture and perfume........... No, not gay at all !

12And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

13Speak thou also unto the children of Israel, saying, Verily my sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations; that ye may know that I am the LORD that doth sanctify you.

14Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people.

You got that!

All of us that have to work on the sabbath are fucked, all utility and service industries, fucked. Farmworkers,Doctors ,Nurses. For that matter Who doesn't work saturdays sometimes ? I am all for having a day or two off work a week but it shows a lack of the alleged foresight to stamp it down on a certain day of the week.

15Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.

C,mon then which of you god botherin bastards wants to come and take me out.

16Wherefore the children of Israel shall keep the sabbath, to observe the sabbath throughout their generations, for a perpetual covenant.

We all know how jewellers are always shut on saturdays.

17It is a sign between me and the children of Israel for ever: for in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day he rested, and was refreshed.

He was refreshed by his mum bringing him his dinner.Shame he made such a stupid law........... he could've gone down the pub.

18And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.

Exodus 30


Exodus 30

1And thou shalt make an altar to burn incense upon: of shittim wood shalt thou make it.

So the peasants are still hard at it,slaving away furnishing the big tent. No wonder they want to burn some incense. The smell coming from the peasants encampment must be rank !

2A cubit shall be the length thereof, and a cubit the breadth thereof; foursquare shall it be: and two cubits shall be the height thereof: the horns thereof shall be of the same.

3And thou shalt overlay it with pure gold, the top thereof, and the sides thereof round about, and the horns thereof; and thou shalt make unto it a crown of gold round about.

4And two golden rings shalt thou make to it under the crown of it, by the two corners thereof, upon the two sides of it shalt thou make it; and they shall be for places for the staves to bear it withal.

5And thou shalt make the staves of shittim wood, and overlay them with gold.

No expense spared, would it be as extravagent if Moses and family had to pay for it ?

6And thou shalt put it before the vail that is by the ark of the testimony, before the mercy seat that is over the testimony, where I will meet with thee.

7And Aaron shall burn thereon sweet incense every morning: when he dresseth the lamps, he shall burn incense upon it.

Yup that'll mask the stench alright.

8And when Aaron lighteth the lamps at even, he shall burn incense upon it, a perpetual incense before the LORD throughout your generations.

9Ye shall offer no strange incense thereon, nor burnt sacrifice, nor meat offering; neither shall ye pour drink offering thereon.

Otherwise they might have to clean it themselves, or worse still pay someone else to do it.

10And Aaron shall make an atonement upon the horns of it once in a year with the blood of the sin offering of atonements: once in the year shall he make atonement upon it throughout your generations: it is most holy unto the LORD.

11And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

12When thou takest the sum of the children of Israel after their number, then shall they give every man a ransom for his soul unto the LORD, when thou numberest them; that there be no plague among them, when thou numberest them.

Which is to say "count the survivors so we can convince future generations none really died in egypt"

13This they shall give, every one that passeth among them that are numbered, half a shekel after the shekel of the sanctuary: (a shekel is twenty gerahs:) an half shekel shall be the offering of the LORD.

They must have run out of gold and jewellery.

14Every one that passeth among them that are numbered, from twenty years old and above, shall give an offering unto the LORD.

Because we live in a lush forest full of shittim trees and shekel bushes. Not in a desert,at the foot of some mountain.

15The rich shall not give more, and the poor shall not give less than half a shekel, when they give an offering unto the LORD, to make an atonement for your souls.

Fleece the poor till thier last shekel is gone then they can sell themselves into slavery for the lawd, Hally-fuckin'-loo-bastard -yah.

16And thou shalt take the atonement money of the children of Israel, and shalt appoint it for the service of the tabernacle of the congregation; that it may be a memorial unto the children of Israel before the LORD, to make an atonement for your souls.

Because, de lawd, creator of the universe, needs gold and is incapable of making any.

17And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

18Thou shalt also make a laver of brass, and his foot also of brass, to wash withal: and thou shalt put it between the tabernacle of the congregation and the altar, and thou shalt put water therein.

19For Aaron and his sons shall wash their hands and their feet thereat:

Class tent that... Now with bathroom !

20When they go into the tabernacle of the congregation, they shall wash with water, that they die not; or when they come near to the altar to minister, to burn offering made by fire unto the LORD:

21So they shall wash their hands and their feet, that they die not: and it shall be a statute for ever to them, even to him and to his seed throughout their generations.

Because as we all know not washing your hands and feet will prove to be fatal

22Moreover the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

23Take thou also unto thee principal spices, of pure myrrh five hundred shekels, and of sweet cinnamon half so much, even two hundred and fifty shekels, and of sweet calamus two hundred and fifty shekels,

24And of cassia five hundred shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary, and of oil olive an hin:

25And thou shalt make it an oil of holy ointment, an ointment compound after the art of the apothecary: it shall be an holy anointing oil.

Because we don't want to be going round smelling like commoners now do we ?

26And thou shalt anoint the tabernacle of the congregation therewith, and the ark of the testimony,

27And the table and all his vessels, and the candlestick and his vessels, and the altar of incense,

28And the altar of burnt offering with all his vessels, and the laver and his foot.

29And thou shalt sanctify them, that they may be most holy: whatsoever toucheth them shall be holy.

Does this actually mean "only the holy may touch it, no grubby peasants to touch the precious things, it's a holy tent for holy people"

nd if it does , does that also mean that the word holy, which we think of as meaning spiritual, and in some way better , actually means possessed by selfish,spiteful thieves who should not be trusted with anything ever?

30And thou shalt anoint Aaron and his sons, and consecrate them, that they may minister unto me in the priest's office.

31And thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel, saying, This shall be an holy anointing oil unto me throughout your generations.

32Upon man's flesh shall it not be poured, neither shall ye make any other like it, after the composition of it: it is holy, and it shall be holy unto you.

33Whosoever compoundeth any like it, or whosoever putteth any of it upon a stranger, shall even be cut off from his people.

34And the LORD said unto Moses, Take unto thee sweet spices, stacte, and onycha, and galbanum; these sweet spices with pure frankincense: of each shall there be a like weight:

35And thou shalt make it a perfume, a confection after the art of the apothecary, tempered together, pure and holy:

36And thou shalt beat some of it very small, and put of it before the testimony in the tabernacle of the congregation, where I will meet with thee: it shall be unto you most holy.

37And as for the perfume which thou shalt make, ye shall not make to yourselves according to the composition thereof: it shall be unto thee holy for the LORD.

38Whosoever shall make like unto that, to smell thereto, shall even be cut off from his people.

Do you not find it strange ? That we are forever being told that god hates fags/poofs/gays and yet throughout genesis, god and many of the so-called patriarchs were shagging each other silly. Now gods tent has everything "just so",ultra clean and smells like a tarts boudoir, hey, fundy boys and girls I got some news for you...........YOUR GOD MAKES ELTON JOHN LOOK BUTCH !
 
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